Wednesday 31 December 2014

Resolutions...I Think Not

Oh dear its that day when i should make up my mind to be skinny , richer , nicer  etc etc etc . Stuff it my last resolution must have been twenty one years ago , just before i got pregnant with my youngest mmmmm that went well
I was going to lose 3 stone instead I gained 3, story of my life .
I could always post a review of my exciting last year ? Thrift shop of the year ? My best rated posts perhaps ?
Instead I will bring you a few of my recent  highlights , best xmas present given to the munchkin !!!
A belching farting Bulldog , oddly I love this gaudy thing despite being allergic to

Man logic, when you cant find the rolling pin use a black pudding??

Must update ebay with loads of PVC Disney , honestly I will do this tomorrow , the nearest to a resolution i can manage

And finally never do your Approved Order without getting someone to check , yes I was caught ordering what I thought was beef and vegatable  pie guessed it , dog food and we dont even have a dog!!!

Monday 29 December 2014

Baldrick & Blackadder

Today I've had Blackadder & Baldrick maintaining my vehicle, it's been walk away and stuff a hankie    In your mouth funny painful and cringeworthy .
Mr Bah Humbug is never going to have a career in teaching and his youngest is not an easy pupil. He's now on his third year and third course at the local college, I think his tutors can't handle more than a year of him, his catchphrase is . "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing"and he gets slung off each course , he's currently doing vehicle maintainence
They pulled both vehicles nose to nose , then started feeding and watering them, within ten minutes my son said I'd better get out there.
The air was blue , Mr bah Humbug was just nicely getting into full flow with his son in his face , he'd been trying to put my bonnet down by sitting on it and bouncing up and down. Now my car is a total shed , so I don't worry about it. This had degenerated into screaming and sullen teenager so I just put the kettle on and walked away, called Mr Bah Humbug in for a cuppa , and left a sullen teenager putting air in the tyres.
After Mr Bah Humbug had calmed down, he called his Baldrick in for a cuppa , he's yacking to his brother and says , I've an app on me phone tells me all the tyre pressures ......We just look at each other then shoot outside, yep you guessed it he'd clown tyred all of the vehicles and the air is blue once again...
I just keep thinking five more sleeps till he goes home and. I was given a bottle of Glenmorangie for xmas

Saturday 27 December 2014

Bye Bye Xmas

Breath a sigh of relief , it's over with , done and dusted. The last of the turkey curry will be finished tomorrow, the only lingering trace of Xmas the decent cheese in the fridge.
Decorations took down , most of the toys confiscated or destroyed.
Did it go well? Food wise yes , people wise?  Well you can't make them get along even when their family.
It was pointed out that why should they be pleasant to someone who had plastered all over Facebook that he hated us and was going to petrol bomb us a few months ago!!!  Happy family's
My mother sent her usual Xmas message of doom, along the lines of is he in Broadmoor yet, well at least it keeps her away.
Meanwhile from experience, I'm beginning to wonder if my stepsons genetic problems are masking schizophrenia , he's not particularly stable at times and the talking to himself and the random noises are getting worse. Maybe I notice more because it's been a few months since we last had him.
I have got through it yet again and it's nearly back to normal and thrifting and crafting time just another few days and most of them will depart, my life will be nearly my own again.  Can't wait

Wednesday 24 December 2014

Xmas Bleedin Xmas 2

Oh Joy, was my remark as the alarm went of at 4am this morning . Mr Bah Humbug had got his xmas head on and wanted to go shopping!!! Managed to persuade him that we only needed to go to little Tesco , then went round a deserted store taking the stuff out of the trolley as he put it in , repeating over and over again ,we already have that , we already have that . £89 pounds of things he needs later , its MC Ds for a coffee and home for half past 6 , when its too dark to unpack the shopping . He then goes back to bed and leaves me in charge of the zoo , plus an excited munchkin who cant stop dancing about and singing his rather odd versions of xmas songs , think Mariah Carey meets Frozen !!! Plus hes now decided that a hula hoop is a great item to use in the kitchen
They have informed me that i must clear the floor completely in my little corner of the kitchen, a chore i have nearly completed by building the leaning tower of crap !! If they think that this is a challenge then  they better hope they dont want my vehicle till after xmas, because i plan to stuff it all in there ...he he he.

The urge to murder my better half is rising rapidly , its his baking day , think vast quantites of JusRoll pastry and a lot of bleedin
The hoover has been awaiting fixing for 3 days !!! bleedin men
Plus hes snoring and im sneaking on here for a crafty hour .
 Meanwhile im sending frantic texts to my daughter for the stuff  ive forgot , non essential items like potatoes..doh
Things can only get better ...cant they
So a Merry Xmas to All of those who are fighting in the trenches of xmas , for a bunch of lazy idle ungrateful family

Monday 22 December 2014

Lets All Run away

By now ive reached the stage where I want to just ram the turkey in the oven then run away !!!
Ive come to the conclusion im going mad , Mr Bah Humbug says its just hormonal, in a smug way . You know things are bad when hes even on the naughty list .
 Now we have his youngest for xmas, he was kidnapped from Walsall the other day after his mother begged us to have him , ive a feeling she may be moving house as we speak and leaving no forwarding address!!
Now he has his problems as long term readers will know , but he just presented an all time classic dilemma to his dad , one that even my ghastly brood never managed . He is apparently on an ASBO that forbids him from entering any ASDA or retail establishment . We cant leave him alone in the house on his own because he steals off the others and us given the chance , hes basically a 19 year old kleptomaniac . There was a blazing argument this morning because he wanted taking into Lincoln , I told him no chance as he has no money at all with him and if he went shoplifting i would not let anyone pick him up from the police station , so now im getting the surly death stares off them both , because this means his dad is effectively grounded, which he isnt happy about and im in the dog house for pointing out that he now knows how his mother feels .
Meanwhile ive spun a couple of little work tasks out to last me most of the day , visited a pleasantly busy little asda and iceland , been for a coffee with a christians etc ....

I really felt that nothing else can go wrong ......then i rang my mother

Sunday 21 December 2014

A Xmas Domestic Goddess

Come on admit it how many of you are supposed to be making your mince pies and mulling your wine , but are actually pretending having got out the mixing bowl and scattered a bit of flour around?
Your really hid in the house somewhere, on the puter reading blogs arent you
Well that makes two of us , the urge to stab bleedin Kirsty Allsop and her Xmas aspirations is upon me . severe bitter twisted old bird here .
 I have long realised that my family are a bunch of chavs , they wont care if the custard comes out of a packet or the mince pies cost 75p from Heron this morning for a big freezer bag full .
The only Xmas spirit theyre interested in comes from the Off Licence ,they will drink Lambrini and Carling till it comes out of their ears, even my aspirational daughter reverts to antifreeze coloured alco pops given the chance .
The munchkin will be unimpressed with everything he gets off Santa and will have broken or had confiscated most of his loot by dinner , he will be lucky to survive the day unless i start on the red wine when i get up to ram the turkey in the oven
The cat is even on my hate list , he will be under my feet all the time and you just know someone will feed it something stupid ..... remember if the cat gets to the turkey while its defrosting , damage can be hidden with strips of bacon and the cat can be stuffed up the turkey .
My mother ...lets not go there till tomorrow!!!!

Saturday 20 December 2014

Xmas bleedin xmas

Sometimes as a none participating xmas person, you can see the sheer crazy of it all . So heres a few points I feel I must draw to your attention .
Why does every pensioner , especially those in their 80s decide to take to the roads in the final days of the xmas feeding frenzy? A case in point was my dad , he was so little that it used to look as if a Trilby hat with no occupant was driving his Ford Fiesta , Nana Sylve at the side of him was even tinier , to make the experiance even more scary , he used to have an oxygen cylinder behind his seat just so he could stay conscious long enough to drive anywhere . Nana would park him in a pub and potter of to get her "fresh stuff" In his last year he decided to have an angina attack in the pub and we got a frantic phonecall from nana because he was fighting off the ambulance man , he had paid for his pudding and he was damn well eating it!! .
The point of this is.....please take your wrinklies shopping , despite there. " I can manage"discussion

this really does look like my dad 

Wednesday 17 December 2014

Merry Xmas From the Unemployed

Dont get excited , five weeks unemployed tomorrow and Mr Bah Humbug has just received a whopping £100 payment of JSA , we would have been in a right mess if we hadnt been prepared . So today was his weekly sign on appointment , while I wait outside and wait for the sound of sirens , his toleration of fools and idiots being rather low at the moment, plus he had a particularly evil grin when he went inside .
He wasnt there for that long and the evil grin was even worse when he came out

I think ive just baffled them .
....Err Why
I told them im not doing any more jobsearch , so they threatened me with a sanction .
Told them I start work on the 5th January and they wernt very happy
Theyre not happy because ive only been out of work 7 weeks in total and theyve funded my computer course.

Yes thats right he got told off for finding a job , he enjoyed his computer course last week , I think it was more to do with a week in a heated building , sheer

So Sue you must have read the tea leaves when you said New Year New Job, The job in question is a bit strange I gather , but its more money, less hours and somewhere warm and dry . He had to sign The Official Secrets Act to get it and hes on 12 weeks trial , so we will see how it goes , but he has an evil grin plastered all over his face

Lincoln job & soul removal center
picture stolen off the internet 

Monday 15 December 2014

Supermarket Sweep

Sometimes even i get a nice surprise , after my recent horror visit to the morrisons cafe , I actually left a post on their Facebook page , to my amazement a very nice lady from Morrisons emailed me the next day and addressed my concerns  and today i received a £10 voucher . So thats the christmas meat bought, a nice bit of pork . What a difference in customer service between supermarkets . A Tesco complaint about blue plastic found in a veggie burger  , took a week to reply and they wanted me to take the complete product back to the store for a refund, as if you would keep a cooked food product for a week!!
Meanwhile in the real world ive spent a whole day doing every xmas competition I could find , i usually win something of no use whatsover , its a bit of a xmas ritual . Back to work and thrifting tomorrow !!!

Saturday 13 December 2014

Rock n Roll Xmas

Mr Bah Humbug took me out last night for a bit of wild living , off to Lincoln Brant Road Club to see The Hicksville Bombers and their support Shane . What he hadnt realised was that this was The Lincoln Rock n Roll Xmas Party , complete with buffet .

Mr Bah Humbug has been playing them to death in his van for months , bear in mind that when i met him he still had enough hair for a flat top , now hes just a grumpy balding . Fat Elvis was there along with thin Elvis and dodgy Elvis . The dancing was amazing , the age range was spectacular from the Americana young ones, to those who have jived there way to hip replacements , there was many gorgeous dresses and it was a great night , they even had retro stalls at the back . Shane was great  , he has a band of his own that we will make the effort to go see .

Big surprise of the night was the lead singers daughter who performs in her own right as Sharna Mae

Thursday 11 December 2014

Thrifty Finds For A £1

Lets get the gripe over with for today , popped into Boston Asda for me perishables , Mr Bah Humbug has been moaning that we never have butter anymore so i thought id treat him to spreadable Lurpak for xmas . £6.20!!!!!! for a large tub , I admit it must be a year since I bought any , probably last xmas but i remember it was £4 something then , isnt inflation supposed to be 1.?% .needless to say he got the £1.80 big tub of something chemically concocted "Bears No Resemblance To Butter "
 Gripe 2.  Why does Asda never have any of its cheap bread in at 45p , just gaps in the shelf , I have hungry males, they can demolish a loaf at one meal so why would i pay 75p a loaf ? not a huge difference but cheap bread fits in the toaster properly and im counting pennies frantically at the moment . Breadmaker is out and ive got parsnip bread festering along with some weird fridge soup in the slowcooker for  tonight .

Just so that I would have something thrifty to show and tell i spent my £1 hot drinks money in the thrift shop yesterday , quite pleased with what i got and it all has a none xmas theme
Loved these Meakin Castile Maidstone plates , my rubbish dishwasher has broken yet more, so I actually needed these . Marked Willow Pattern tablecloth that can go in the soak and bleach pile for the spring , they currently have a big tub of embroidered , crochet and vintage tablecloths  and pillowcases in at the Moorlands Relate 10p each so scuttle on down . A little Scandi Thing? ive seen these on lots of American Blogs , first one ive found in the UK, may stage my own Thing On the Shelf Party

Pretty big girl shirt that doesnt fit , into the cutting pile it will go , Hillstonia mini planter , I have an awful lot of these , just like the browness of it . Best of the lot this plastic OK made in Hong Kong back to the 60s childs Sewing machine , not working it has a broken knob , but as i want it for a display item it doesnt matter in the slightest .
I successfully filled a bag for a £1 due to the 10p sales in Moorlands Relate , see even a broke thrifter can still pick up pleasing rubbish

Monday 8 December 2014

Its Begining To Feel Like Grinchmas

Oh tidings of comfort and joy .......................Im starting to feel positively like a disgrace to my social class at the moment , 4 weeks plus and Mr Bah Humbug still hasnt found a job and is still engaged in wondering what the heck is going on with the benefit system . We still have been unable to access a penny from our amazing benefit system , we are managing just. To get by, we sold a vehicle one of the things we usually do in times of emergency , this means every day takes some serious organisation to get everyone where they need to be , but its not impossible .
Best laugh at the benefits office, because we are in council accommodation we will be moved to anywhere there is a job vacancy for  Mr Bah Humbug , his job being a bit specialised . Not quite sure where the rest of us are going to live , we all  have jobs in Lincoln !!  but hey ho , cant wait to see how they will make that work.
Meanwhile the press and government are moaning about food bank usage , I can see why its use is growing , the benefits system is just a total shambles you muppets .
Now lets see where im a disgrace to my working class origins
1...I havent any tattoos , Mr Bah Humbug has a couple from 20 odd years ago and the kids have none 2...We rely on each other as a family when times are hard , we dont assume the state is our parent
3.. Sorry i havent got a big enough TV to fit in , this frequently draws a look of horror from visitors
4...Dont smoke never have , would drink if i could afford it, but cant .
5 ..Have boring phone that just makes calls and texts
6..Dont own a Staffie
7..Havent bought anything on HP for over 20 years

See im a misfit , bring on xmas , theres a scabby cheap mass produced turkey waiting in the freezer which i will perform miracles with over the xmas period . Havent a clue what else we will have but turkey dinner is sorted...the xmas present to ourselves is heating oil , lifes just  so exotic these

Thursday 4 December 2014

Of thrift & Morrisons

So this week has been an endless week of running about with Mr Bah Humbug and sneaking off to the odd thrift store with pennies . Have you noticed that most of the thrift stores are bursting at the seams , but have done away with the cheap rails and replaced them with xmas stock . I still havent seen a single bit of vintage xmas anywhere but i did get a whole bag of clothing and fabric for pennies . Relate had a 50p rail full of Boden  which i left behind ,but  i got a gorgeous big girl summer maxi dress , dont forget they dont have storage at a lot of shops so now is the time to stock up on your summer wardrobe !!!  Relate have two shops in Lincoln so i thought id go to the other on Moorlands and scored a huge gorgeous grey velvet curtain with a tatty edge for a whole nothing , yep it was in the free bin , plus some more for the fabric shirts for 10p each !! I did get the death stare when i got home with a huge bagful , but i did use the £1 hot drink money to fund this bonanza that Mr Bah Humbug had donated to me  I must admit that after xmas when they all get desperate to shift the party frocks is always a bonanza on the fabric front .
As a "treat" yesterday Mr Bah Humbug after selling a vehicle to fund xmas and heating oil , thought wed pop to Morrisons for a bit of dinner and some shopping , now Morrisons is where your mum goes shopping and as usual is full of pensioners . Usually we take great grandad to the one in Scunthorpe to do his shopping and have a dinner. You go to the counter order your food then join the queue for drinks and to pay , that is where things started to go wrong , one of the drinks machines was out of order so for 15 minutes were stood in the queue , so i spent 15 minutes viewing the squalid filth that was Lincoln Morrisons , the drinks machines tatty and held together with mangy tie wraps , the fact that none of the surfaces looked to have ever been wiped , admittedly your meal came straight to the table once you sat down , but by now it was lukewarm and congealing , every surface apart from the tables had black grime on it there was food waste living on the menu holders was a really yuck experiance and i wont go there again .
The only plus point yesterday is that we get 100 litres extra for the same price as last years oil, it must be the only thing thats got cheaper this year!!!

my doll problem really does go this far

Sunday 30 November 2014

Furry Sunday

Moral dilemma day , i have a vintage suitcase full of furs , very very vintage ones they were given to me over 20 years ago by an old lady in the village , I dont know much about furs except the ones with the little faces still attached . I dont have a problem with them these were old before i was born , but what the hell do you do with them ? how do you tell if a minks a mink ? Is it safe to sell them on ebay or do you end up getting petrol bombed ?
 So once again i shut the suitcase and plop it back under the bed . I could use the money if they were worth anything but its a requires a bit to much thought ...Answers please folks

Friday 28 November 2014

Poverty & Black Friday

Sometimes being skint is a real pleasure, looking at all the folks scrapping over TVs in the shops was great fun from my point of view, I can honestly say even if I had thousands in the bank I wouldn't have bothered. Sadly Im a total dinosaur when it comes to consumerism, I don't replace anything till it dies, the one exception was my ex husband , I couldnt waste my life any longer waiting for him to pop off. 
Mr Bah Humbug is enjoying his time with the ranks of the unemployable, it's a mystery to us why the whole of Europe and Africa are trying to get here just to get to our wonderful benefits system, because it's so badly organised its a mystery how anyone ever gets paid anything.
Lets start at the beginning
FIrst you go to the government website and fill an application form in , this goes on forever then tells you that you can't make the application and gives you a number to ring, you ring them then spend a day trying to get through because of a system problem, you get through only to be told you must lie on one of the questions on the online form or it will reject the application???
Go back to the online form, lie , get to the end and tick a box saying everything is true and they can prosecute you if it isn't.....they will ring you in the next 3 days
Next morning they ring can you come for an appointment in 30 minutes? No we are on our way to hospital 70 miles away , not good enough , you will be sanctioned, get appointment for 2 days time. 
Attend appointment , they have the wrong name on the application its your fault....errrr no we have printed off copies online, they agree to adjust application. Why are you applying when you should be on sick, not sick , has long term problem but willing to work, argue for the rest of your life till the world has ended and the muppet behind the desk has doubled his brainpower by growing an extra brain cell.  A decision will be made somewhere by someone , they will write to him
This is just week one of our adventure in benefits land!!!!!!

Saturday 22 November 2014

Crafty Chores & Poorly Pussies

Up all night with a poorly pussy , hed been in a major tiff with something and went off his legs yesterday morning , nothing broken just hadnt picked on something his own size , so once he got home i was on toilet watch , his gingerness wont use a cat litter tray he has a favourite bush in the garden he goes under , so having had cat morphine he cant stay out . he finally decided to go at 3am this morning so theres me and a ginger cat out in the garden on a freezing night with a torch , i had to turn the torch off or he wouldnt go , so im talking to the cat trying to get him to do his stuff  and come straight in , he can barely walk and you just knew a neighbour would be staggering home with a skinfull. Think i may have scared him to death , 3am and theres a talking bush?  telling its pussy to hurry up and pee ?

i will snore for twelve hours in your paperwork 

So after 4 hours sleep its do a crafty chore youve been putting off forever , i had a big skein of wool , that i got with my major craft haul in the summer,  knotted to hell lousy wool , but a great red and black gothic colour . 5 bleedin hours of tedious unknotting to get to this , now seeking crafty inspiration or a knitter I dont like

Thursday 20 November 2014

Claremont Sheffield Private Hospital .

Do I feel Guilty at Mr Bah Humbug going to a private Hospital? Not a bit he went on the NHS Choices scheme so it didnt cost anything . Sheffield is a 70 mile trip each way and he had an operation there 2  years ago . Would we recommend the place yes , those who are there on NHS choices seem to get just the same treatment as paying customers the only difference being you dont get a complimentary goodie ...
The place is lovely ,single rooms ,carpet, spotless , its staff just as multiracial as every other hospital in the country , the big difference they all speak the queens english perfectly . The have a new designer reception area which contains the worst vivid yellow monstrosity of a sofa ive ever seen . They even manage to discharge you at the correct time with all your drugs and letters (my pet gripe with the NHS ) the only flaw ive ever found is the limited parking spaces
Anyway thats their bit of advertising for the day , theyre not chucking me a free boob job for the nice things i say about them either .
Mr Bah Humbug is doing well , he says he feels like he can dance ...mmmmm, he never could before ,but he can feel his foot and toes for the first time in 18 months.
Hes done the horrors of signing on for JSA this morning and is now plowing through the job ads , im hoping he finds something fairly quickly but i dont hold much hope out this side of xmas unless he just takes a dog job for the time been , agriculture doesnt take on till the spring and hes only happy with a spanner in his hand , personally i think hes just desperate to get away from the huge chore list i have for him

Sunday 16 November 2014

Winter Sundays

The Sound of chainsaws, fog and the kids whinging theyre cold just cant beat a proper winter sunday . The weekly demoulding of the windows figuring out where i can hang yet more wet washing and of course a Carry On Film . Yesterday we had the horror of a 6 year old party thankfully at some commercial barn in Boston , the trip home a little bit like a trip into John Carpenters The Fog , munchkin was the worst behaved child there as usual and he had all of his equaly vile little counterparts, the plus note, they do a mean squirty cream and flake hot chocolate concoction for those of us who had lost the will to live . His cake was gorgeous and once cut we found it had a multicoloured interior . A very clever lady from Cranwell made it and the whole event was organised by my daughter i just had to attend and cough my way through the proceedings .

Tomorrow we have the joys of getting Mr Bah Humbug signed on as unemployed and applying for housing benefit because we have a sense of humour  . Then Tuesday its off to hospital he will go . a fun packed day at the Claremont in Sheffield , day surgery , you know the one where they pack you off home with serious painkillers for 24 hours then its up to your totally useless GP to look after you ,,weve been there so many times now its like a ritual and he really is the worst patient in the world .
Thanks for all your supportive messages , we will manage we always do , Its just good to know that people are out there . I dont think theres going to be much buying done for a while , i will have to craftily dig out some of the stuff ive got hidden for show and tell

Friday 14 November 2014

Just When You Think Things Cant Get Worse

Well at twelve today i get a text saying Mr Bah Humbug has been made redundant, I did wonder if hed smacked Pudsey Bear in the nose and been escorted off the premises, but no
It does seem a bit of a coincidence that theyve made him redundant 2 days before hes due to go off sick for more spinal treatment,  meanwhile ive booked a week off to play nurse and with a zero hours contract i get paid nada , so interesting times yet again at the house of nettle knickers.
He will get job seekers eventually, but it will take several weeks and my hours are so irregular that we are in deep doo doo yet again .
On a plus note this may be the point where it spurs the boys into employment, more to get away from the ogre on the sofa and his version of job club , than their  actual motivation to work , he does tend to get them up at 6am and provide endless chores for them.
plus point 2 , i will never have to smell the lousy chemicals hes been working with the last 18 months , no amount of washing ever got rid of it .
plus point 3 i get my tea cooked, hes a good if messy cook .
We will manage we did last time , he was made redundant from his last job  weeks after surgery 3 years ago   and he was out of work for a year .
He could have done with a couple of steady months before he goes back to the heavy nature of his last job , but to be truthful i think its time he looked at something a little less heavy .
We were expecting him to be off for some time so weve allowed for that , the food cupboards are bursting and i really do stockpile when we have the money , plus if it comes to the push i will go back to work fulltime and im not picky what i do

Thursday 13 November 2014

Its Beginning To Look a Lot Like Xmas

Im baaaaaaaaack . thanks to the hacking cough dropping off im back in the land of the almost living , today the munchkin is 6 and what else do you get for the child who has everything and spotted these the other day , you think,
sod paying the council tax, lets buy the grandbairn a super duper commercialised elf , its going to share his bedroom im informed . The party from hell is at the weekend .

Meanwhile just to annoy Mr Bah Humbug whos first festive rant took place on the 11th Nov at 4.30pm and involved a xmas Tv advert and his favourite smug person Mr Jules Holland , weve all been taking bets what would set him off this year !!! , i found a vintage Santa tablecloth, he may choke on his turkey when he sees this on xmas day . But that means theres more for the rest of us so i can live with that . 

Plus in the realms of Why the hell did i buy it , my excuse is they were cheap , but when i looked they have little resale value so i guess these will be guesting for a while .

Ive gained a reader from The British Indian Ocean Territory , a place so obscure i had to look it up on Wikipedia , uninhabited islands with a military base in the middle of nowhere, hello chuck we dont bite 

Tuesday 11 November 2014


The sheer joy of the first snotathon of the winter , wallowing in a sea of self pity while at my venomous best. This is not a good time to ask your mother where you're washing is, what's for your packup or if there's anything good for tea. The best I can offer is a fetching Kleenex casserole , so go and nuke some thing or head for the kebab shop or starve. I've gone deaf so it's safe to talk about me behind my back or even in front of me .  Normal service will be resumed once I re enter the realms of the living , I currently resemble an extra from the Walking Dead and if I go missing it's because the washing yurt has toppled on me.....Whisky and Lemsip donations gladly accepted

Friday 7 November 2014

Crystal Tips

Admit it who remembers Crystal Tips and Alistair , world renowned quality kids program from the 70s . I so wanted her hair at the time

Now this is not leading into a ramble about vintage kids TV , this is leading into a crystal ramble theres a sale tomorrow
 Its my weekend off , this is local and i have no reason at all to buy crystal other than its gorgeous . I may pop along just to laugh at the prices and kill a couple of damp hours away from the kids .

 I really cant think of a single reason why I would be drawn to cherub lights, but i am,

                                            think a nice virulent coloured cherub!!!

Thursday 6 November 2014

Novelty Fat Bird Rant

Today i have a complaint ...dont worry its not contagious . Ive been trying to find a winter coat in the Charity Shops , please bear in mind ive been searching all summer and things are getting desperate . I was reduced to looking on line which was even more depressing £75+ for anything , now i know they have to use twice as much fabric to make fat bird clothing but i do think they take the p***.
Im out in all weathers so i thought try some of the outdoor shops , Go Outdoors dont do anything over a size 16 , so if your fat you dont go outside or take any exercise? the assistant said most people just wear the mens ones . they were an awe inspiring collection of drab browns and blues plus im afraid i dont have the arms of an orangutang but the build is pretty similar . I guess im just not a conventional size .
Now i havent got fat with kids and age , i was a fat child who grew up into a fat adult and i can remember being the only fat child in the school , now that novelty has gone the whole world has got fat , so why are you limited to a couple of shops on the high street that make you think that a burka is a good option . Theres a lot of hideously expensive choice on line , but im afraid my budget doesnt run to a few statement pieces . Vintage and Retro in large sizes is virtually unknown in the depths of lincolnshire .
Im not about to get skinny as an act of defiance , my idea is for the pall bearers to give them self hernias or they may need to get a forklift into the crematorium .

Now im even more irate , i put fat bird into google images to steal a pic and what do i get hoards of fat budgies !!! Are fat birds that disgusting that weve been bleedin censored by google!!!!

Tuesday 4 November 2014

Welcome to Winter

Got up this morning to thick fog and bitter cold, so ive been rooting out my winter essentials , my USB heated gloves , my microwave slippers and of course my hijab , we can moan about the muslims taking over but the best article of clothing theyve bought into the UK is the black cotton hijab , great for pottering round an unheated house and for scaring the postman to death one of these days i shall wear one to take the munchkin to school , they tuck into the neck of your jumper a treat , plus they dont make you itch like so many winter woolies do .
While rooting for these items i went into the bottom drawer where you put things to forget and i had forgot all these items , can you believe i own a Bay City Rollers flexi disc? one upon a time most of these items were ebayed now they just languish forgotten in the bottom of drawers . I must have hundreds of vintage postcards kicking around , mainly from the 60s and 70s , cds that those of us who dont have more modern technology keep for old times sake , ancient plastic zoo and farm animals , AA vehicle badge property of Mr Bah Humbug , not sure how it ended up in my bottom drawer ?vintage bead trim in a little bark box, Guinness sport commentator , care bear badge ...its endless
So yes its pack rat day , im off to create something in the slow cooker with out of date mince from the Coop , get on with my mending and indulge in a little domestic servitude then stuff everything in the bottom drawer and forget about it again . My kids are going to need a bleedin big skip when im gone

Monday 3 November 2014


Ive decided what is wrong with my life , theres just to much choice in it . Ive lost the will to shop at some stage just because i cant cope with all the choices offered . im glad in some way that finances mean that my choices are more limited than most especially in the supermarkets . Maybe thats why  Lidl & Aldi do so well, you want a tin of beans there is a tin of beans , not 40 variety's , yes i am that sad that i once counted them in Sainsburys .
Xmas is on its way and the herds of delivery vans are calling , we live in a small cluster of 14 houses and in an average day theres about   2 deliveries an hour . give it another month and I dread to think . The munchkin has produced an endless list of xmas requirements and im informed he has been brought a tablet computer ...hes 6!!!!  My daughter informs me its because everyone else has one and he will be left behind . My thoughts on the matter , shouldnt he be concentrating on the 3Rs at that age ? plus i give it till Boxing day till its confiscated or broken . Im debating making him some onesie monsters from his outgrowns and buying him a shovel to dig holes with  , despite being told what i should get him .
At 6 hes drowning in a see of choices and nobody sees thats his problem , the endless arguments about what he wants for his tea what he wants to wear , what hes seen advertised on the TV . If he had no choices he would be so much happier , but then im only granny what do i know?
Hopefully my camera lead will appear eventually then i can get some ebay listing done and stop dwelling on the stuff i cant change

*update from daughter: it is not a tablet computer, its a learning tablet, an upgrade from his much loved outgrown 'my first laptop'.

Saturday 1 November 2014

Fabrically Challenged

Yesterday in the glorious sunshine i got to go to the seaside , bonny Sutton on Sea , a tiny seaside without loads of arcades , a couple of reasonable charity shops and a maze of a second shop . Didnt buy a thing . lol just enjoyed pottering about like a little old lady tourist .
My lunch hour was a little more productive.
Alford little market town on the way to the coast , 4 charity shops lots of antique and junk shops , havent seen a single nice xmas item yet , managed to pry myself away from a huge bag of black lace , that i will now discover i need , then popped into a new second hand emporium that has sprung up in the former ink cartridge shop , quite reasonably priced the usual antique items but they also had a few nice retro bits , including a pile of 70s fabric that leapt into my hands , a yard or so of vintage brown sanderson.

 And just what you need Vix yet more floaty nylon being as your having a bit of a phase with the sewing machine   send me an email and you can have it .

Also picked up what i thought was a nice big bit of pink cotton for the never ending pink quilt im hand stitching, from one of the charity shops  , it was sealed in a plastic bag and when i got it home its meters of stretchy fleece backed fabric, enough to make skinny bird pyjama bottoms out of , which works out well as i had to rag bag most of mine due to old age and disintergration, its a bit pink but i can live with that  ...Total spend for the day a whole £1.50 !!!

Thursday 30 October 2014

Supermarket Sweep

With all the dire warnings from Tesco and Waitrose , plus everyone singing the praises of Lidl and Aldi . Ive been supermarket hopping this week . Had to pop to the new Lidl in  Lincoln for some tool item requested by Mr Bah Humbug , what can i say ?  I used to love Lidl back in the days when you were supposed to be ashamed to be seen with there carrier bags . Recently ive not been so keen , an example, I used to buy there shampoo i have psoriasis and it was great , then a few weeks ago all the shampoo vanished to be replaced by Pantene and Head and shoulders plus there generic brand turned into the watery stuff that nobody in there right mind would use . ive noticed this quite a lot with other items , now theyve got instore bakeries all the bread products have gone up in price big time . Meanwhile even mid week you cant get parked in Aldi and waiting at the tills is a nightmare due to the Chelsea Tractor driving hoards , with there overladen trollies . 
So I ventured to the tranquil depths of little Tesco hidden away off canwick road , not the new mega tesco i hasten to add , its handy on the way home has ample parking and its very quiet .  If you shop carefully Tescos isnt any different price wise , im not a big brand person and some of there bargain brand stuff is decent and with the price matching lark they all do now, not much dearer , what does make me laugh is they hide there own brand stuff in corners and bottom shelves and in most cases its often sold out , but i did manage to get 10 packets of their value mashed potato while they had it , its the only edible instant potato product ive ever found . My son wants to know where have all the value curry pot noodles gone , nobody has any and hes got withdrawal symptons .
But the big thing with Tescos is the staff always look so bleedin miserable , ive had friends work there and they say its the whole culture and atmosphere the constant laying off and never knowing how many hours you will get each week . 
So thats this weeks round up of my supermarket any more ?

Tuesday 28 October 2014

Just Passing Through

I think this could be described as a desperate post , squeezed into the real world work schedule , ive a few more work heavy weeks till it dies a death at xmas till about march . im told we've a newbie going in to be trained next week , its a bit like the Borg they will try to assimilate him then send him out to play with me at which point i get to put him through living hell for a couple of weeks , its always good for a laugh . theyre usually horrified when they find im a little old grey haired granny ,whos driving is appalling. I may make a special effort for this one and turn my rusty old wreck into a Mexican taxi , take my bible to work and ask him to pray with me and ask him to pray with me in Mcdonalds . It will be just my luck they have employed Ned Flanders !! I do so enjoy a good newbie , ive been warned not to scare him away but they dont realise thats not the idea I need this one to stay so i can slow down a bit .
This is how desperate things are , Lincoln is a beautiful place heres the view from the ladies public toilet doorway

Sunday 26 October 2014

Blah Blah Blah

Its been a very Blah weekend , i started with good intentions yesterday finishing Mr Bah Humbugs oops I didnt paint behind the furniture and i didnt think anyone would notice effort , guess what i decided to change the current furniture for something else and I noticed , hes a star sometimes!!
This sort of turned into one of those jobs you wished you hadnt started , Ive upset them all by dumping all their coats in their seats in the living room and informing them put them away or i burn them !! Now have a huge dustbin bag of rags for the charity shop because ive thrown anything they moaned over , not as harsh as it sounds nothing my lot have finished with is ever more than rags . Chucked all the odd shoes i could find ..sod them ..they were given till this morning to take any they wanted .
On a good note Mr Bah Humbug in his urge to score a few points actually let me get the boys to drag my victorian cast iron legged table up from the bottom of the garden , ive been looking all summer for a replacement top and not found one , so its installed at the bottom of the stairs and looks just fine with an egyptian rug on the top to hide the state of it .
I also found a huge amount of craft stuff i havent been able to get to , including tapestry kits id forgotten about lots of quilt patterns and bindings .A lot will go to the charity shop .
So to be truthful ive spent the weekend ransacking the place trying to tidy up ...does that make sense?
Rescue volume with great colour plates of a little french bulldog 

Thursday 23 October 2014

Auction Time

Well once again ive been bidding online with a zilch budget and without much hope . Imagine my surprise when i got a couple of, you are the winner emails . So it was a trip across the county to pick up my winnings . Mr Bah Humbugs reaction? WHY THE HELL .
even im not quite sure what i was thinking , I bought a spinning wheel , my excuse that I know what these retail for was, met with the frosty stare of doom , ebay methinks , errrr buyer collect methinks . This would be one craft too far , must get this listed over the weekend
Louet S15 anyone?

 at least the other stuff is easier to hide

Wednesday 22 October 2014

Miracle Brooches

Now were getting to the no car boot ,the odd jumble sale and laughing at the stock in the charity shops time of year , its time to start show and tell from among the vast array of stuff ive pack ratted away over the years .
So lets delve into my brooch fetish

I have a weakness for Scottish Miracle Brooches , these are made from tumbled agates from the scottish highlands and were made popular by Queen Victoria , usually set in silver or silver metal . The large orange agate is beautiful , virtually translucent , no hallmarks and the pattern in the silver has been nearly polished away . It cost a whole £1 at an auction a few years ago , i didnt even know what i had bought till i picked it up . Then theres the more traditional tourist souvenir multi stone , 50p charity shop find , theres still tons of these to be found quite cheaply . Just for contrast theres the silver brooch pendant , victorian and bought for me many moons ago , all celtic knotwork and very heavy

 i fell n love with this wooden hand carved jewellery box for no better reason than the fact it looked like dragons wings on the front , someone had put such a lot of work into it and it was sat looking lonely at a car boot .

Tuesday 21 October 2014

Hobbies Keep You Sane

Rumors of my blog demise are ill founded , just had a bit of a strange week , dwelling to much on Mr Bah Humbugs next treatment and  last ditch attempt at fixing him next month and pondering meaning of life matters , or as he would say , overdosing on self pity and negativity . Sometimes he can be a little to close to the truth .
So apart from a solitary jumble sale where i spent a whole £1.20 on a tin and a blanket , ive done little but read and potter , which brings me to this , does having a hobby keep you sane ?
 Ive quilted huge items when ive been stuck in the grey fields of negativity , totally mindlessly . my dad was a chronic whittler when he was stressed , my mother knits when shes angry . But what will generation playstation do ?  I come from a generation where every girl was expected to be able to mend and sew , at school boys learned metalwork and woodwork all these skills have gone from the curriculum , now the yummy mummys are learning in their 30s thanks to a few TV programmes and Mollie Makes but isnt it still becoming a bit of a hobby dessert out there , more for males than females , is that why mental illness among males has seen a surge ? Once upon a time men had a shed, nowadays they dont even seem to have that luxury in most cases . Back in the 50s and 60s by now they would be churning out farms dolls houses and garages ready for xmas . The chippy home made 50s dollshouse I was given , has been claimed by the munchkin , hes spent hours with a bag of plastic soldiers and lego fighting battles in it
With xmas on the horizon isnt it time we started to look at the whole shoddy commercial aspect and encourage blokes or mums  to have a go at making something , small children really dont care if things are perfect , they just care that they were made with love

Wednesday 15 October 2014

A Visit From the despair Squid

I suppose nobody remembers the despair squid ? An episode from Red dwarf many moons ago . But hes been at my door for a couple of weeks , its the not having a single positive thought syndrome . Not depression , been there done that , took the drugs, lost the plot, moons ago
This time of year tends to hit me like this , its been rain everyday , work everyday nothing to look forward to on the horizon . Positively not feeling positive
The season of mists and mellow hopelessness , looming on the horizon xmas happy families , so glad we dont do it in a big way
I seem to spend my days working , doing the laundry , munchkin duties and not much else . I cant craft under artificial light , cant read for long etc etc , so winter looming does this to me , im getting the urge to hibernate . Bed at 9pm every night , put the TV on and im asleep in 5 minutes , but the day starts at 5.30am so thats not a bad thing . By the way i did try the whole SAd light treatment thing a few years ago , had no effect whatsoever ...story of my life
Lack of thrift scores , havent found a single item on my thrift list , no winter boots or veg steamer , not a single pillowcase for weeks , not even any vintage xmas , just an infestation of vile gift sets and Poundshop items for £3 , I must have been in Age UK or British Heart Foundation for that
And just to annoy me even more the capital d on the keyboard has died ...AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH

Sunday 12 October 2014

Jumble Sales and Thrift shops

Another hectic work week , so very little time for anything . we have now reached the time of the year where we get thick fog and chainsaws, thats all ive heard today , we would kill for a woodburner but they cant go into these houses , were stuck with oil heating and due to cost it will be another month regardless of the temperature before we get the hour a day of heat in the evening. were in a 50s prefab so insulation and warmth are a minimum . Plus its the season of mould, ive had an hour of my favourite winter chore de moulding the windows  , plus the bathroom needs another coat of mould paint as the walls are once again going black . So much for the expensive anti mould paint , its flaking off
Plus theres the getting washin dry chore , you have to wait for the sun to break through to hang it out let the sun dry it on one side then turn it all round then take the outer layers off the whirly dryer and move them to the airing cupboard and just continue till you reach the end
Mr Bah Humbug has a huge cauldron of bolognaise bubbling away , so at least ive been cooking exempt today
I think ive visited maybe 20 charity shops in the lunch hour this week and i  couldnt resist these heavy plaster cottage bookends , plus ive found a 50s ladies head hat pin holder , ive seen larger ones of these on quite a few American blogs but never found one here before

I managed 2 jumble sales yesterday and spent a whole £1.45 , a broken brooch , some rainbow framed sunglasses that i figure nobody will pinch out of my car , a pikachu keyring and some really heavy 1930s seashell uplighter lamp shades , ebay for them if they get through the cleaning challenge , theyre very rusty and grubby at the moment .

Tuesday 7 October 2014

Newark Auto Jumble

Mr Bah Humbug got stood up by his date to trundle off to a scooter parts fair somewhere in the wilderness , so i just dropped in to the conversation that it was the Newark Autojumble  and yeah he took me .
Still my favourite day out with him , he looks for lumps of rusty crap and i errrrr look for lumps of rusty crap . Theres just so much of a non auto theme among the heaps of stalls that there really is something for everyone . We both fell  in love with the vintage Coca Cola cool boxes but they were way out of our price range .

Then i just spotted the blue industrial storage bins , the conversation went like this.
I like those
What the hell would you do with them
Theyd look good in the kitchen
Theyre bleedin huge
Think of the prep work
No id just want the interiors blasting the outsides would look good as is
They just wont fit
Think of the storage , veg in one bucket , all the bits of scooter that should go to the shed , you get a full 4st potato sack in the bottom
Theres no room
I could get rid of the freezer
we need the freezer
Needless to say i couldnt have them

rusty blue lust objects 
sharing at

Sunday 5 October 2014

Small Boys

Once youve had sons you realise that yes men really cant help it , theyre just born that way . You know that gung ho crazy , lets see what happens attitude that any rational human would know was a bad idea .
It doesnt get better once you have a grandson , especially when they live with you , but at least if youve done one generation you get kind of blase . My poor daughters still at the total despair
So heres a couple of munchkin tales , that will follow him for the rest of his life . Munchkin and his regular henchmen , two other 5 year olds are playing on their bikes in the little close where we live . all of a sudden theres loads of high pitched squealing that isnt getting nearer to the house so must be something serious . on going outside i find they've collided with each other and his friend has squashed his naughty bits . theyre busy unravelling him and picking him up, one under each arm and theyre carrying him back to his granny next door but one , as he sobs and grabs the offending bits . As theyre staggering away ,munchkin chimes up " I told you that you'd hurt yourself if you didnt wear your cycle helmet"  Ive since questioned him and found out that he believes cycle helmets are magic and prevent any injury ?

It gets worse , much worse.
A couple of days ago the munchkin started shouting for me to come and wipe his bottom after a poo, hes being doing this by himself for ages , plus he'd started spending hours up there .My daughter was thinking about taking him to the doctor .
Anyway , when she wasnt around I decided to investigate , on close inspection his bottom was bleeding a little , on even closer inspection his poo had something silver in it . Later that day i heard him say to his friend " Its true if you swallow it , it does come out of your bottom " On interrogation it seems they had been eating Meccano nuts , just to see if they came out the other end . I told my daughter and hes never going to hear the end of it . It was made even worse by her 20 year old brother chiming up with " Meccano nuts are nothing you should try a 4 block Lego brick"

Friday 3 October 2014


So I popped into the Bridge , wonderful cafe and charity shop on Newark Road . Sat having a natter and discussing stigmata, as you do, and someone walks in with a load of donations of toys . They never say no to anything and you get a free cuppa if you donate , plus you can park outside to drop stuff of and  theyre open monday to Friday . See I even give them a bit of promotion, even if its a long way for most of you to travel for a cuppa .
Anyway they were all looking in horror at this particular item , which i thought was lovely . Then i realised that i'd said out loud that I liked it . I was then informed they were putting it in my boot !!!
So im now the puzzled owner of a dilapadated home made 50s little dollshouse . I had an uncle who used to churn these and forts and farmhouses out for years , in fact i often see his efforts in local salerooms its not one of his but somebody probably used the same Hobbies magazine pattern that he did .

When i got home Mr Bah Humbug was in the garden pottering with his scooters so I thought I would get the, what the hell have you brought home now lecture , instead he sort of liked it . Mainly because yesterday i realised hed hid yet another scooter in the back of his van
We really are a bonny pair of pack rats and made for each other in so many ways , but even im struggling to figure out what im going to do with it or where to put it , theres a project list as long as my arm already on the go , maybe over xmas?

Thursday 2 October 2014

Statistically chuffed

Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
United Kingdom
United States
New Zealand

do you ever read the google statistics for you blog , the one i find fascinating is this, i love the little map that changes colour from time to time , somehow out of all the data they provide this one seems to make an impression on me . Its great when a really obscure country produces viewers , you know , the ones you learned in geography 40 years ago and have only seen on a wildlife programme since .
Why am i gaining followers in China , do they have an interest in the Lincolnshire Fens? or are they secretly monitoring my consumption of takeaways . Come on China talk to me , please do tell .
Last month i had tons of Eastern European visitors , that i can understand as most of their relatives live locally and they could have typed in Boston in the search menu .
Have I secretly started the league for women of a certain age? bored grannys of the world united ?Or is this  becoming a meeting place for those of us who just muddle along . Whos tablescape will always have a cat sat in it , who always starts crafty projects then get distracted for 5 months or those of us who view the world and our family as a bunch of aliens from another planet 

Wednesday 1 October 2014

The Missionary Position

It had to be done just to see how many page views it generates !!!
Tedious day off would be the truthful title , I managed to get a day off today by turning off my phone and ignoring the world
6am im outside hanging washing out in the dark , I love the feel of grass on my bare feet even when it gets frosty , at least i dont startle passing dog walkers with my un sexy nighties and pj's in the darkness .
make  Mr Bah Humbugs pack up , stick in more washing wave him goodbye
7am daughter trots through on her way out of the door , mumbling the days orders , then the munchkin arises for homework breakfast and a good chunter, he really isnt a morning person even at nearly 6 .
8am hang out more washing , sort out the washing yurt thats amassed this week , give up in disgust get dressed and then its the school run  9.50 hurl still muttering munchkin through school gates .
9am get home , notice youve 6 missed calls and umpteen voice mails all work related , turn off phone sod them all!!!
9.30 settle down with Outlander and a huge pile of month end paperwork , finish paperwork at 2pm having lost the will to live !!! and eaten vast amounts of Galaxy chocolate .
3pm fetch more washing in hang more washing out , look at the sock pile and debate just hurling them all in the bin to see if theres any reaction when then say "ive got no socks" and i inform them i chucked them all .
3.30 sit down to blog , and assume the Missionary Position an excellent little book rescue that cost all of 50p  Women in the Mission Field , love it, it's so middle class saving the poor heathen , you have visions of these ladies if they existed in this day and age going across to Calais and preaching the word to the heathen hoard , then coming home on the ferry with half a dozen strange foreign blokes stuffed in their eco car. sadly missing a page so it will have to rest in the home for redundant volumes

What will the rest of my day off contain , pick up munchkin, take for a wander to the
park for homework , he needs leaves to make something. plus yet more conkers to trip everyone up . Cook tea , listen to them all moaning about there hard day , sort yet more washing , notice that despite all the washing being at the washer this morning and being able to see the floor around the washer for the first time in weeks by 7pm there will be another pile AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH
lifes so exciting when your a working granny