Monday 31 August 2020

Plague 63

 Well this is exciting , Bank Holiday Weekend usually the last holiday before Xmas in the UK and im going nowhere and really doing not much of anything . Son took Mr BH out yesterday to a Truck event they were amazed to find was still happening they had bought tickets at xmas last year , then today hes off for an interesting day fishing while under the influence of drugs with BIL . So ive been up since my usual 5am to get him ready and packed up for the day . Read a lot of blogs , flicked through facebook , sorted all the washing now tapping my foot waiting to go out and play in the garden .                                                   On a world at large front have you noticed the current pasta mountain that the supermarkets are trying to shift at bargain prices , we arent huge pasta eaters since its just us 3 left here so apart from extra lasagne sheets its not really needed and im not buying it just because its cheap . I do wonder if this is the supermarkets trying to push us to stockpile a little in the event of Brexit , at bargain prices 10 bags of pasta might be a good idea if you have a family to feed , its good long past its sell by date and your future proofing your purse as we are well aware that prices are leaping . Have you noticed that Brexit pies have gone up to £2.00 a shot in the big supermarkets , good old Frey Bentos currently still cheap at £1.29 in Heron , grandson loves them . Im trying to stock up on stuff that sarcastic son can just throw in the microwave for Mr BH in the event im not well . Ready meals are damned expensive , so ive got a good supply of tinned curries and other crap food , plus an awful lot of noodles and precooked rice . Sarcastic son isnt a bad cook but Mr BH is as picky as hell and his daft eating habits mean that son will refuse to cook anything for him if he starts moaning.  Bargain of the week has been Big tubs of Flora at £1.50 for 4 and stork baking marg at 4 for a pound into the freezer it has gone , bargain shops may be mainly cakes and crisps but sometimes you strike lucky for stuff you need .  At least the cabbage and sprout patch look pretty healthy ive at least 5 different varieties to overwinter , squash are just coming ready for harvest and they can sit in the shed for months ..still waiting for the grass to dry a little so i can go out and potter ...ho hum  

Friday 28 August 2020

Plague ????

 Autumn is here i gather , the rain is much welcome finally my tiny apples are swelling , the squash are loving it and the rhubarb looks to be resurrecting. So long as the frosts stay away everything should crop just fine . Though the temperature changes confuse nature a lot , in fact ive noticed ive daffodils up already , havent had to cut the front privet at all this year it will just need a quick whip along the top before it gets cold .   The munchkin has returned home now , school starts in another week and just to be on the safe side till we see what pans out on the Covid front , we shant see him except from a distance .He is now very impressed with the sex life of hedgehogs , our resident front garden dwellers have been attempting very noisy sex under the front window , porno hedgehogs to put it mildly . Our little this year female isnt having it , she wedges herself between two large garden planters and the much bigger male cant get to her no matter how he tries, but hes grunting and groaning like a seventies porn movie and its hilarious.  I did point out to the munchkin that all he needs to know in life is that hedgehogs are far better at sex than he will ever be , because after an hour big male just shrugs his shoulders and gives up and trots off for his tea . We seem to have four hedgehog regulars this year  , the absence of slugs and snails is amazing , between that and popping a brick or large stone anywear you spot slug and snail damage for the thrush to crack shells i havent had to do any animal friendly slug pellets anywear 


Wednesday 26 August 2020

Plague 62

Please visit
i am here to give testimony on how this powerful spell caster called Dr Adoda helped me to fix my relationship. i was heartbroken when my fiancee told me he is no longer interested in marrying me because he was having an affair with the other woman where he work. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help, that was when i read a review about the great work of Dr Adoda, then i contacted him for help to get my lover back, he helped me cast a powerful (reconciliation love spell) and to my greatest surprise after 48 hours of doing the love spell my Fiancee came back on his knees begging me to forgive him We are now happily married and all thanks goes to Dr Adoda Wonders for helping me save my relationship you can contact Dr Adoda through his email address: or WHATSAPP him on +2348112825421.

Dear Dr Adebola thankyou for sharing this review of your online love spell casting service . I feel that in an effort to broaden your appeal maybe you could extend your spelling to more practical matters for those of a certain age .  Maybe the "Yes Dear " spell for those of us stuck with endlessly boring old  males who constantly repeat stories. Possibly a pelvic floor spell for some of us could make life more fun ?  The potato spell could be something to look into ? where they magically pop out of the ground to save digging the ruddy things . The magic decorating spell would have huge appeal . I think youve missed a huge audience with just doing love spells, oh and while your at it can you do anything about the bloody font size problem on new improved Blogger and the inch wide paragraph spacing , because nobody else can...AAARRRGGGHHHH 

Sunday 23 August 2020

Plague 61

 So in an effort to be prepared ive been busy ordering seeds and other garden essentials , I do like More Veg  they sell seeds in realistic quantities , not packs of 5000 ,  they also do a good range of collections where you get 3 different small packs of different varieties , ideal if theres only two of you , or you dont have acres of land to fill , this year ive managed to snap the garden rake but it was a cheap one and at least 10 years old , so ive ordered the same cheap one again . Then the Hoe broke at least 20 years old it hadnt been new when my dad gave me it . This annoyed me you cant buy a hoe with an sharp edge on it for health and safety reasons  Really, have you seen people being murdered in the streets with hoes? so then you have to order a hoe sharpener that claims to be a miracle invention but is going to take weeks to sharpen the damned thing ...aaarrrgggghhhhh  It would be easier if i was allowed into the big shed to use the grinder but its like Fort Knox and he hides the keys since grandad died . Son says you cant even get through the door anymore he fetched so much stuff home . Saving up for 2 new propagator tops because nobody dropped something on top of them . culprits likely to be one of the boys dropping a sack of fishing bait on them .

We paid a fleeting visit to nice son to drop a load of tinned stuff that he had delivered to our address , he was telling me that the girlfriend has had to go because she was to much like a creepy stalker , constant phone calls and texts it was doing his head in  younger generation problems . Hes seen sense and isnt taking Young Baldrick in , in fact hes hiding from him , nice sons flat is well hidden away , you wouldnt know it was there. Baldrick met us in a car park to collect his post , he didnt speak to me in fact i got the death stare . None to happy when his dad told him hes not moving back in here even when the munchkin has gone , get the feeling he wants rid of me as im buggering up his plans . Keeps telling his dad how much better of he would be if Baldrick was his carer ...ho hum 

Wednesday 19 August 2020

Plague 60

 The Young Baldrick saga goes on and on . Mr BH had endless phone calls while fishing from The Council explaining that they will no longer provide any housing for Young Baldrick and he needed to come back here as we have an unused bedroom . Im proud of him standing his ground and telling them bollocks , grandson is leaving next weekend and i think that was their idea to keep putting pressure on us so they are rid of the problem , they even offered us money to take him .   Nice son has agreed to take him in  from today in an act of insanity ,  probably a very bad idea as he has little patience with Young Baldrick and they have had little contact the last few years the last time they were here together they had to be physically separated. I do think this is cunning plan to keep his rent payed , hes got a new contract working away starts the first of September but has to work a month in hand the council have doubtless offered him the same deal they offered us money wise .  We have now found out that Young Baldrick could be on bail conditions for up to two years without charge due to the quietly bought in changes to the law for Covid changes . The big problem is that the small town Baldrick will be going to is where he got in all the trouble with drugs and i dont doubt that all the scum he was involved with are still there . Leaving him alone in the flat could be a very bad idea . I really hope he breaches his bail conditions without someone getting hurt  

Saturday 15 August 2020

Plague 59

 This is great the first drizzly rain we have had in weeks , took the cats for a walk at 4.30 this morning just because the rain was warm and wonderful . Then to make matters better Mr BH and his BIL have wandered off fishing at first light , BIL is back off work after just a couple of weeks , his boss the builder has decided that hes retiring to his villa in Crete and not coming back. BIL can take over the book but hes debating as hes close to retiring himself and doesnt really want the hassle of being self employed in the current climate , im sure being a handy bloke he can keep himself occupied with a fishing and working a bit here and there .

Young Baldrick is as usual causing drama , hes had to be moved to a Travelodge in another town due to someone going to the YMCA and spreading tales about him , hes been moved for his own safety , it would be nice if the gossips could get there facts straight . He texted his dad to say hes using us as a C/O address it would have been nice to be asked and we would have said no , apparently we must take all his post to him straight away ?  Delusional yet again . We have had several conversations with his mother whos still a safe distance away on the other side of the country , shes finding it hard to accept that her sainted little boy should be institutionalised for everyones safety , I finally lost my rag and told her what i thought , she didnt like it much but her partner agrees with me that he is bloody dangerous . We have so much experience of autism in this family and for the most part they are a wonderful if unusual branch of the family , it goes back for generations in both mine and Mr BHs families . I had an Uncle who did a lot of hard time for very good reasons and Young Baldrick is of the same ilk , there needs and wants are all that matters to them , no empathy whatsoever and they are often scarily intelligent and just use those around them . Its always a cliche that those with Aspergers are unemotional but for the most part they feel things just as much as everyone else , they just dont know the society expected responses . It is a minute proportion of the autistic population usually male who go on to need life long hospitalisation , often starting in their teens when theyre to big for their parents to deal with meltdowns that get physical . Injuring there parents and carers is something that nobody wants to talk about , its as if your shouting into the void and the guilt is incredible for the parents involved . Some people are born so damaged that no therapy or drug treatment is going to do a lot of good , why can we not face that and provide better caring homes in a secure enviroment for them . There is bugger all care in the community and it keeps going wrong , lessons learned is utter bollocks ...we learn nothing and no one is listening 

Wednesday 12 August 2020

Plague 58

 I have to admit that one of the pleasures of this summer is the fact that due to a road closure locally we are cut off from the tourist hell that is Woodhall Spa , so not a lost caravan do we see , unless you want a slipped disc or vehicles with damaged tyres and suspension going down the fen roads is interesting to say the least . We now have a 32 mile round trip to access the doctors and this is until late September . The road closure was necessary the road is collapsing . 

Anyway lets talk about tourism , Woodhall is a  time warp large village , famous for its 1940s weekend , reading some of the gripes and reviews online has been fun.  Endless moaning about the public toilets , theyre clean adequate and very 1940s , be grateful theyre open , squatting in the woods with our killer squirrels sounds more fun? Parking ? thats right theres barely any , you may have to walk miles to get to the center of the village , maybe you would like us to concrete over all the woodland to make more room?  Theres bugger all in the local Coop or Sainsburys local , that is correct , you have stripped the bleedin shops like a flock of locusts , welcome to our world .  If we want to shop we get up and are queing at 8am outside the butcher and baker its the only time you can get a parking space . But best of all someone has been stung by an adder , can we not do anything about them?  There are lots of them in our local woodland it is hot they like to sunbathe , so stick to the tracks , dont let your kids rampage through the trees in their flip flops or you £2000 pedigree pooch run about off lead , tons of warning signs try reading them !! The squirrels ? dont park your overpriced eco vehicle in the woods with the window open a crack because its hot and you have an amazing alarm system , once your squirrel burglers are in the vehicle they will freak once the alarm goes off , you will be miles away trudging into the village . Meanwhile passers by will be making a video for you tube of just what damage an irate squirrel can do to your vehicle , he just wanted to climb in and eat the left over Quavers from your kids car seat in peace , now hes crapping all over the car freaking and ripping your upholstery to shreds . 

Saturday 8 August 2020

Plague 57

 Sorry im not around much but its so nice having my life back , its not a very exciting life , just caring and pottering and gardening with the munchkin , though the heat has rather stopped that at the moment  This morning up early to get Mr BH sorted for fishing with BIL while on zombie mode , I should really try and get some sleep but i may potter out to the car boot in the next village , more to get some veg for the week than anything . Just cauliflowers , i cant seem to grow them here and ive a craving for cauliflower cheese .We had to meet Young Baldrick in town to deliver his parcels from Aunty Moneybags , proudly sporting his new baseball cap with a huge cannabis leaf on , i was so glad he was trying to look smart for trying to get access to his child , he had a good moan to his dad about his lodgings, apparently his aid workers are a wee bit more harcore because they work with the prison service  ...still stank of weed though and hes not happy that his medication is supervised . Our housephone has never stopped ringing since he has left with people looking for him , mostly people in authority it would seem hes up to his usual tricks with swapping his phone sim card every few days , this is always his way of cutting everybody off . I keep unplugging the housephone to be helpful !! 

Monday 3 August 2020

Plague 56

Well isnt this nice , so cold this morning at 5am you would think it was autumn , but i gather we are to expect some serious heat towards the weekend .
My gardening gnome has entered the building , i was wondering how long he was planning on staying as he turned up with a car full of stuff including his favourite pillows , but its just so nice to have the cheeky so and so back , munchkin can help with yet more daft garden projects i have in mind and he can keep Young Baldrick away as he informs me . We did shove my daughter up a ladder to pick plums yesterday , you have to take advantage of whatever labour you can get your hands on these days , we had monster plums ready at the top of the tree where they catch the sun , bear in mind the tree usually produces a few dozen plums this year its glutting , so by the weekend it will be plums with everything , there is also a shortage of wasps this year we usually have at least a couple of nests in the garden need dealing with , theres nothing organic about wasp slaughtering its the big spray can and run method
On the Young Baldrick front i gather there is a case conference today , i would love to be a fly on the wall at that one , i wish the powers that be much luck if hes still taking his medication he may be calming down a little at which point he will think hes cured and stop taking his medication , but because hes an adult we can make no imput .  I did ask Mr BH if hed heard from him because someone was causing huge traffic problems yesterday evening trying to jump off the flyover in Lincoln . Still getting Amazon parcels for him from Aunty Moneybags so we will have to meet him at some stage , hes never grateful for what she gets him so i dont see why she bothers. i scrubbed the sofa bed when he left i just couldnt get rid of the smell of sweaty male ,but now i need to scrounge a couple of new to me sofa cushions from somewhere as they are disintegrating