Thursday 28 March 2019


Its bad when you trail out to your first car boot this year just because it was a nice day then find there is nothing you desire , im discovering that i have little interest in shopping these days . Trip to the Christian coffee shop the other day and they were having a 5 for a pound sale , struggled to find 5 items , not due to the quality or size just uninterested , 2 winter coats a cardi and a couple of shirts for sarcastic son , one coat i love the other is drab and i need to find inspiration i think, but ive got till next
So now the gardening begins the conifers are proving a nightmare , Mr Bah humbug is all excited and wants to go fishing my least favourite chore , so very busy in the real world .
The Brexit Limbo continues ever on , dont give a stuff anymore , nobody cares except the vocal Remainers , we've had the farcical petition , the pointless March , more changes of mind than Kim Kardasian in a clothes shop . Lying politicians to the left and the right , billions of Brexit Pies purchased . Lots of billions made by those who have billions , starving of the poor .
Somehow you just know that whatever gets into power next the first thing they will do is remove the right to vote for those on benefits and those outside London hoping that im wrong but give it 10 years and see

Saturday 23 March 2019

Out To Play

My daughter staged an intervention and took me to Boston yesterday , we didnt warn Mr BH just ..byeeeeee as we left the building , hes on clingy child at the moment and driving me mad , we went out yesterday and he found that hes struggling to even do the hand controls on his buggy , so the sulk is upon us , his condition is degenerative , he knows this ,but every step along that road fills him with despair .
So my daughter went to court and i went for a little hobble  round Boston, its not changed a lot in the last year , still full of Eastern European veg workers , but it has a good selection of Polish supermarkets some quite large , so being me i posed as a Polish granny and visited a few , they are wonderful , theres huge butchery and deli counters and one even had a bakery that was gorgeous . I picked up bags of dried stuff for the store cupboard that was cheaper than the ethnic aisle in the big UK supermarkets , and stuff to try just because it looked interesting... lol 
Then i did a muslim fruit and veg shop, again wonderful selection , its cucumbers with everything this week they were so ..but its the service that you notice, theyre polite they will lift and carry stuff for you , suggest alternatives etc etc .. I quite liked having a big smiling beardy bloke carrying my shopping basket , so different to the surly service in chain UK supermarkets. There are small independent shops that are English that provide excellent service but theyre few and far between where even small towns have excellent ethnic shops these days , give them a try its not all Vodka and dodgy fags 

Monday 18 March 2019

Light Relief

So off to the pussy jumble i went , quite quiet this week mainly because it was a Spring Fayre , bit daft really as its just a jumble with added  tombola and raffle , usual all fighting over the clothes , while i picked up a rather nice bit of 60s luggage , a bundle of teaspoons , the mystery of the teaspoon stealer has never been solved in this house . And a few more chalet school books for a friend .  Still flicking through last weeks giant knitting pattern haul , current favourite, furniture for Barbie sized Dolls , might have a go at this . Plus knitted nativity sets , just need a kick up the arse and some motivation at the moment , if nothing else ive discovered that living in an Amazon Warehouse full of furniture and boxes is eating my soul .

Daughters birthday prompted a road trip to an open day at a wool warehouse in Leicester ,  didnt buy anything daughter was quite restrained and her friend as well , very very cheap but i need more wool like a hole in the head , i suppose someone could crochet me an organic coffin when i go ...hint hint

Just been outside and rebuilt the whirly washing line after its death during Storm Gareth , its amazing what can be achieved with the upright from the munchkins old bunk bed and a bit of brute force , will rebuild it properly once the weather is warmer but for now its up and looks odd but with the price of the wretched things, for a proper metal one rather than the alloy ones that dont last a month in the windswept lands it will serve

Friday 15 March 2019

The Old Biddy Brexit

So weve had all these terribly important votes and nobody is any the wiser as to what the hell is happening .
So heres my widely inaccurate theories and prophecies having read the last tea leaves we shall ever see.
29th March we leave the EU with No Deal ...the chances that 27 countries will agree to an extension are virtually nil

The chaos will begin , mainly due to the government and its grey suited mandarins efforts to ignore this scenario because they thought they would have figured a way to wriggle out of this event .
The majority of those who voted no to a No Deal Brexit will sit smugly by filling there nails and saying we voted against this its not our fault you cant blame us .

Immediate food shortages will be caused  by people panicking, then in inner city areas we will have the usual riots , after all nothing helps with hunger pangs like a 50 inch plasma .  Manchester police will suit up big Ron and solve the problem with there usual gentle touch while the Met is still doing a risk assessment .
  Mrs May will of course read the Riot Act and call in the troops . just in London.

The Fuel shortages will kick in within the first week except for essential services , some helpful chimp will suggest we all get on our bikes and nobody goes out except for essential things like work .
Mrs May will cling grimly on, shes here for the duration folks .

Jeremy Corbyn may well meet an accidental death , killed by rioters possibly .

 Tony Blair will offer to lead the party to victory , doesnt he always .

Give it a couple of years
Boris Johnson enters no 10 , bringing a return to the Benny Hill era for women , Larry the Cat packs his bags and leaves because hes heard what happens to pussies where Boris is ...

Feel free to add your own tea cup readings

Tuesday 12 March 2019

Lies Lies and More Damned Lies

So todays the big day?  we find out what the hell theyre all dithering about at and if were all about to return to the neolithic days?  Well we've made it back to Victorian Values under the current government theyve achieved!! Ho hum
Im off to buy a couple of tin openers ready for the glorious future we face , that and a huge bar of chocolate for personnel stress relief .
Sometimes I think the EU dont grasp Northern Ireland at all , they just dont see the logic of having a border at all and would rejoin the two parts with an edict from Brussels . I hate to say this but they may get a learning curve on that score , the IRA make Isis look like beginners and they do bear a grudge somewhat .
On the dont stockpile front , I had a thought , if stuff is held up at the docks or the EU decide to sanction in one form or another , have the allright jacks ever had experience of the weird limbo that is being laid off from work ? You have a job but they dont want you this week ? You cant claim a pennies help from anywhere . then theres those on a zero hours contract that has never had problems with it but can now find there hours cut to bog all but youre still classed as employed even if you work one hour? 
I live in the bog end of nowhere , small shops are miles away so we do have to be more self reliant than most , ive one little chest freezer , we lose power quite a lot out here so not worth risking more frozen food , what its filled with is yellow label and enough weird cheese to feed an army . Im building a mountain of pet food and enough tinned beans to feed the five thousand , for the rest ive steadily increased my dried ingredient purchases just an extra pack here and there thats what my budget runs to and since xmas its a fair amount . just doing a shopping list for today its not very exciting but does include a couple of tin openers , sweet potatoes, they keep really well somewhere cold and dark and tinned fruit for the hunger gap season the garden provides tons in season , trip to the pound shop for a few more garden

Sunday 10 March 2019

Pussy Power

So ive pretty much come to the end of building my Universal Workhouse food mountain , yesterday i added yet more cat food with the last £6 in my bank account . The discount Store in Lincoln has been selling bags of some posh cat kibble for £2 a throw , its a grain free piddle problem variety so ive built a small mountain of it . That and Tesco own brand gravy tins are the food of choice for the three wise furry virgins.
Ive now progressed to the ordering online of stuff i need for around the house , new bracket for the yardbrush found , now need to sort another outside clothes dryer as the wind snapped mine yesterday , i think it can be repaired , they all think im mad ...Must add more glue and thread to my list of things to find .
Deeply impressed with the cat jumble yesterday , it was a well supported hideous bunfight , lots of shouting and pushing and shoving over the clothes , didnt go near that side at all but contented myself with the books and bric a brac , found something i wanted that had only gone on the list the day ...good quality metal big bread bin , you know repro antique thing , came with tons of free dust .  Wanted one to store all my flour in , for some reason a mouse has taken a liking to flour in the cupboard , the small furry destroyer has now been sleeping in there for two days , wont know if shes got it because she eats them , little Doris has turned into queen of the mousers , but she has now left the cupboard and i have a bread bin . £1.00 wisely spent methinks .  The only other thing i bought was a huge file of what appears to be toy knitting patterns ive not had a chance to look through them yet , job for this miserable afternoon with a cup of tea and a slice of cake . They did post online last night that theyd raised over £800 .
So its a wet drippy Sunday with the much needed downpour , i may have a baking day , ive manky bananas need using up and dregs of bags of dried fruit so boiled fruit cake looks a good idea or even tea bread ..oops thats another thing for my jumble list another silicon loaf tin

Friday 8 March 2019

Brexit Tales

Project Fear is going really well for Mrs May isnt it , so many folks not coping at all well with the extra stress piled on at every turn .
Weirdest Brexit moment of the week , went to the post office to pop a parcel in , one of our little rural branches in the Coop , thought it was odd there was a chuntering queue a mile long . Its usually a couple of people queue with one little woman on the counter .  At the counter is a rather posh hunter welly, horse piss smelling, lady of a certain age. Getting on her high horse because she couldnt withdraw all her cash and exchange it for Euros , apparently you will  make a big profit on the exchange rates once the pound plummets come Brexit , shed seen it in the paper?  The discussion was going on and on , she was ranting about how it would be quite easy at her bank and we were all thinking , sod off there then . She was told she must order the currency ,they only carry £300 on site , or she could just do it online or over the telephone with her bank a good half hour later she flounced off as fast as her wellies could carry her , chuntering merrily .  The next bloke steps up to the counter and says can i have some Euros , the look from the cashier should have turned him to stone, as he smiled and said im kidding i just want a book of stamps......we all cracked up laughing

Tuesday 5 March 2019

Just Because

Just thinking about sticking a note on the fridge saying ..The ideal mothers day gift is gin ...ive made a bottle last 9 months but im turning into my mother and cant face Brexit without it !! must also add no posh gin just real mothers ruin Gordans
Im staring out the back window at the blinding sunshine knowing that its a warmth illusion , its bleedin freezing out there with a polar wind and i need to go and hang washing out in it , a womans work never been done , tons of garden jobs need doing , everybodys litter to pick up after the rather breezy night we had . just debating going to get some wood treatment .
So whats todays plan ? not doing a whole lot ive got shingles blisters on the other leg now , not really painful this time but rather yucky , so that means im infectious once again . Had a triage call with the practice nurse

I think ive got shingles again  on the opposite leg

No it cant be shingles you only get it on one side

Take ibuprofen and rest , draw a ring round it to see if the infection is spreading , if your no better in 3 days or if you experience a fever or breathing problems ring us .

Didnt expect much more from them they would hardly want to see you if its infectious , you can get shingles on both sides i looked it up. Its also very common this year triggered they think by this latest batch of flu vaccine , mine started a couple of days after i had it ...ho hum 

Friday 1 March 2019

Im So Bored

I think my boredom levels are at an an all time high.  Brexit ....the most boring major political event in modern history , the biggest Hotel California event ever, is what 4 weeks away ...maybe?  or who knows ?
The whole country is like a giant mushroom farm , sat in the dark wondering what the fuck are they playing at , nobody can plan anything , nobody can make decisions , our so called more informed quadrant in the Palace of westminster seem to be to busy squabbling and point scoring to tell anyone anything , thats if they know anything ?  My votes on just putting them all on the last ferry heading out and replacing them with a load of turnips .

Replacing  them with the Parish Council from Little Muttering  might be the best idea .

So George your in charge of Defence now , wernt you once the storeman at RAF Wittering ? Theres a bunch of lads come back from a three year holiday in Turkey they worked at the Hotel Isis you can have them

Raj , im sorry youve got to sort out the farms and fisheries , youve more idea than most of us . Bert and Ernie can help theyve been in charge of mowing the cricket pitch for 20 years

DWP anyone ...thought not , nobody wants that poison chalice .

Pencil Annie in for the NHS she used to be a nurse , so she will have more of an idea . Might need help with the 10 containers of Paracetemol  for the disabled though .

Theres plenty of bodybags theyre giving them out in Tescos , but dont forget we musnt have funeral pyres in domestic gardens , no diesel for the firetrucks and all that .

Anymore suggestions for the next meeting?