Saturday 29 December 2018


Glad to see the back of that event , one of those xmas days  when if it could go wrong it did go wrong . The damned oven picked that day to die , it took 5 hours to cook a tiny turkey , that was dried up and unappetising , the top oven gave up the ghost altogether so we didnt get dinner till 5 it was scheduled for 1 . I was drowning in snot dying by inches and nobody wanted to help with anything. One son got hammered cos his dinner was late !!! middle son announced dinner is at his next year , i did point out that could be in a cardboard box with his cat on a string . Mr BH was trying to be chirpy not sure which of his medications hed saved up to achieve that .
But i did get a very nice Dremmel type set that i have lots of use for from Mr BH , I bought him a set of wheeltrims so we were both happy , the munchkin got tons from his mother most of which he promptly broke, declared he didnt want and was thoroughly ungrateful and vile about , very glad to see the back of him as he and his mum went to my exes for Dinner .
So yes xmas lived up to my expectations , im still snot riddled and have a death rattle cant taste or smell anything but snot , breathless and wheezy. Im cooking xmas pud today with yesterdays turkey stew heated up . Somehow ive got to magic a buffet up for New Years Day for the rest of the tribe , including allergy riddled trainee daughter in law  , clean up this shitpit , including the wet room that looks as if theyve been making cement in it and not kill any of this selfish what does a hoover look like bunch.....wish me luck

Monday 24 December 2018


So its turkey wrestling day tomorrow , 6am trip to Tescos for fresh stuff , home for coffee before anyone was stirring , im not to popular because one of the muppets had come in late last night and blocked the car in so i went round them all looking for car keys as you do , just four of us this year , 2 of the lads are here , everyone else is going elsewhere due to me and Mr BH not being xmas inclined.
So I wish all of you a merry xmas , be glad none of you can catch my wonderful xmas lurgy , Turkey and snot tomorrow im afraid . Sadly cant have the new grandchild anywhere near me.

But here is the little scrap, fine set of lungs on him and yes in the footsteps of Mr Bah Humbug hes got the words shortest

Saturday 15 December 2018

Be prepared

No ive not turned into a Scout , but i think my food habits are turning the kitchen into an episode of hoarders .
Somewhat spectacularly Mr Bah Humbug coughed up the money for a xmas grocery shop and not wanting to let him get away with his usual Scrooge like antics I made the most of it . Only last week he was going off his head because i used my cat food money to get a huge half priced ham from Morrisons. I did point out that the cats are very fond of ham and they might let him share it !!
Now ive been squirreling away stuff for xmas for weeks one bit at a time , so I have everything apart from fresh stuff and of all things tin foil left to get . His grandiose gesture was occasioned by middle son stopping for a few days , he will be stopping again for xmas and hes used to a grandad type xmas , different relative every day , xmas heads on people.
Now being crafty I suggested a trip to Grimsby , my favourite butcher being the main reason . Mr BH didnt even notice the boys had craftily taken out his buggy from the car boot , so apart from a potter on his crutches into Freeman street market , which has tons of benches to park him on . we got to steal his wallet and toddle on , the butcher had a big smile for me , we havent been for 4 months and he did me a good deal , tons of beef and lamb burgers from his freezer to mine, a carrier bag of pigs fry because its illegal to sell it , end joints of beef and pork , barbecue mixed grill packs in fact ive enough meat to last the winter with a bit of creativeness , the lid of the freezer is currently weighed down with car batteries its that full , he did say did i want any big turkey carcasses , they supply them ready cooked to hotels who only want the breast meat , but ive got no space otherwise I would have them . he did say hes now got a little Polish bloke taking all the pigs heads and trotters to make brawn , if only i lived nearer i would willingly buy brawn , I used to love it as a kid . Large pork pies from the market  and yet more  peculiar frozen food from the ever useful Heron, they get all the deformed stuff from Youngs that they sell under the excel label , but a trick ive found is that each branch of  Heron sells different boxes of Excel and they have 2 in grimsby , so ive now got a carrier bag of malformed scampi , umpteen fajita sausage rolls and somewhat surprisingly tons of deformed lamb chops this time , next week it may be malformed Pizzas and huge fish fillets you never can tell ,  xmas eve last year it was huge bags of mince pies .
So now the weather can do its worse , we are warm and the DWP cant spoil this xmas , ive bags of food ready to go to other family and friends who have got the miserable xmas we had last year .
Best skint foodie tip for next week , mince is in every reduced bin , nobody buys anything but xmas the week before xmas .

Monday 10 December 2018


Now as many of you realise i' m very grinch like in my view of Xmas, I loathe the whole commercialised season , ive just no interest in it at all , but this year Mr Bah Humbug is excelling himself in being a mardy joy sapper . Not just to me but the whole family , he doesnt want to go out at all and hes turning into my jailer. We havent even been to see the new grandchild because its a "waste of fuel" . Theres "no point in going out " because "I" have no money , meaning me of course .
Now I know hes depressed , hes supposedly getting treatment , they increase his antidepressents every so often , theres nobody for him to go and see because Lincolnshires mental health care has basically collapsed, but hes driving me steadily mad at the moment .
Hes just come in and started going off on one because somebody has moved the red sauce!!! Hes turned into a self obsessed monster the last few weeks , he belittles everything anyone does for him . Im told how useless i am at every turn , then 10 minutes later hes all apologetic and grovelling . Constantly picking on the Munchkin and causing endless rows , this latest phase is proving very hard work . Ive no clue what is going on with him , hes hit a physically quite good phase , hes only needing his crutches when he goes out. his other physical problems problems dont appear to be any worse, the latest pain clinic visit does seem to have improved things a little.
I think ive narrowed it down to his change in pain medication or hes fretting over me not being well , nothing to fret about just the minor niggles of getting older from a female perspective but men can be funny that way . So im stumped , but lifes interesting

Saturday 8 December 2018

Xmas Gift

Well Young Baldrick rang up totally hysterical yesterday . we eventually got it out of him that hes now a dad , never to do things by halves hed just delivered his partners baby !! The ambulance didnt get there in time because its the Lincoln Christmas Market and all the roads are closed up that end of town .  One hell of a shock for someone as far on the autistic spectrum as he is , but i gather it was one of those babies who wasnt hanging around and literally just appeared after a couple of cramps , theyd literally just popped his partner in the ambulance with the baby when he
Baby was due to be delivered by section on Boxing Day , hes a bit small just over 5lbs but he appears to have all his fingers and toes and be healthy , theyre staying in for a few days because mums everyday medical problems make it a good idea , plus a few days may be needed to calm Young Baldrick down he still appears totally shell ..
Dont know what the future holds for this little one, only time will tell , but its the best xmas gift we all could have.

Tuesday 4 December 2018

Texas Chainsaw

Well ive been up for hours , Mr BH is snoring so bad hes drowning out next door , usually they sort of even out to a steady rhythm but even with ear plugs hes like a chainsaw tonight and as i cant move or wake him due to his industrial drug regime , me and the cat are up doing email and having a cuppa.
So what have I been up to , not much im afraid the season of mud has arrived , so nothing outside . Pottering about doing the usual carer chores dodging the mutant piles of washing , had to do a laundrette trip last week with all the bedding and towels Mr generates , washed at home, then chucked into 3 dryers at the laundrette , ho hum more expense. But still much cheaper than if we had a dryer at home . Todays weird fact did you realise that East of England has the dearest electric price , regardless of supplier , you can go on the comparison websites   it says everybody is cheaper but when you talk to said cheaper suppliers they cant offer you a cheaper deal because of your postcode . Ive tried economies of scale dont apply when your rural and cant be a dual fuel customer.
The cat jumble sale was a resounding success tons of weird stuff not just the usual mountains of clothes , it would seem they had a rather large donation from a demolition firm , theyre knocking down some 80s store units in town to build yet more student accomodation and Lidl had a clearance shop for a few months , only thing is when they moved out they just locked the unit up and left the  the builders have frantically donated this to whatever charity would take it  , hence the jumble was a tad comedic , buy one get a bagful free , so there were little old ladies getting a bag of grout knives and tile spacers with there xmas tat , though one little old dear looked totally baffled when she bought a ghastly resin ornament for £1 and was handed a bag of 10 .
I was remarkably restrained , all i came away with was 5 files of ghastly knitting patterns with a couple of dozen salvaged for my collection , a huge pile of posh garden and cooking books to flick through and , put out the flags here folks unopened pack of stair carpet tiles, you know the ones that just go on the treads of the stairs , ive had stair carpet on my thrift list for at least 3 years since the first hole appeared, so for a whole £2 im very happy , now ive just got to persuade the boys to lay them , wish me luck with that one.
Im avoiding xmas wherever i can and once again ignoring everything but preparing turkey dinner , the only presents ive bought have been a tool box and some Poundland tools for the munchkin , were hoping this stops him pinching grandads serious snap on stuff . Well we can hope , for 10 years old hes quite a handy little bloke and will try to fix anything, somehow i think hes not going to be a go to university kind of child , more an oily greasy apprenticeship sort  .... though he did make me laugh when he was questioning his maes dad about working for the water board , Guess thats a good idea ,there will always be poo!

Friday 30 November 2018

Over & Over

Its look out the window at the beautiful sunshine day again , just done the school run and that icy wind is back again . So a day of domestic servitude eventually after looking through a whole weeks blogs , doing the months end competitions and an appointment with the only book ive read this month, something of a first but im having problems with concentration due to the interesting lab rat drugs my dear doctor thinks are a good idea  .  Munchkin has requested his favourite tea mince and cheesy beans in wraps so no prep needed . Im doing my usual totally ignore xmas routine , quietly preparing my dont shop January list , plus just incase Brexit extras.
Finally they have managed to fit  two water meters its only taken 3 years , this time it was a subcontract plumber sent by Anglian Water  who got round the problem of  the no stop tap issue that the council havent resolved in the last 10 years .  He wandered round and knocked on every door in the street then turned of the main tap at the hydrant in the road .  We now have proper stop taps at both places where we have a supply entering and a seperate drain point for the whole heating system plus 2 water meters he got round the lead piping issues by fitting the stop taps six inches into the property on the copper internal piping . He said he was contracted for half a day , so he might as well do what needed doing , sod the council. This now means that finally i can apply for the disability grant available from Anglian water, it wont save us much but its something . Plus it will annoy next door and the kids no end they all use our outside tap because its at the back of the house  to wash their cars and water their gardens now the tap is turned off internally and you need a key to get into that shed which i have misplaced
I had to laugh I had a letter from one of the debt companies yesterday saying they could give me a 70% discount for xmas if i paid my debt in full before xmas its not a huge amount and they get £10 a month into infinity or death which ever comes first , so if i have a lottery win they can have their money , of course id have to have the money to buy a lottery ticket . My huge income of £64 a week carers has to stretch a long way , ive 3 cats to support only one of which is mine , £12 a week to the water rates . £30 a month to my debts , then im expected to buy all the fresh stuff milk fruit and veg and bread. Cloth myself fund a bad jumble sale habit , and keep my vehicle on the road and pay for my fuel . But were so much better off than last year that it seems like an awful lot of money .
Cat jumble sale 10am Birchwood Scout Hut tomorrow!!!

Wednesday 21 November 2018

Tad Chilly

Looking out the window at the lovely sunny garden , shame about the wind chill factor , i need to go hang towels out shortly , they do dry eventually if its just warm enough for them not to freeze , just have to remember to turn them a couple of times .
Its amazing the difference the new windows have made you can stand near a window without your skin shrivelling these days , even have the curtain open in the daytime, sheer luxury . The new boiler is not quite such a good idea , its A rated but despite using less oil it seems to drink extra electricity because it goes on and off all the time ..ho hum yet another environmental fraud sold to the council , much like the ground source heatpumps they fitted into properties that they cant now rent out because of the huge electricity bills , the solar panels that the company went bust and theres no repairs for etc etc . We have now discovered that the only reason they have upgraded our heating and windows is because the houses couldnt meet Letable Home Standards  which they can get a 10k fine for each property from April . Still grateful however .
Middle son isnt having a lot of luck on the job front 500+ job applications , bless him hes banged on doors everywhere but all want experience or references which he hasnt got, hes got to wait till the new Year to get a volunteer card so he can work in charities just to get something to put in his CVs . His only reply was a very nice letter from Boyses to say he hadnt enough experiance but at least it was a reply .
Main gripe at the moment is whos going to be here for xmas , its the one day i have to really plan for and theres still loads of dithering going on , some cant be helped Young Baldricks baby is due Boxing Day we await that with interest, but things seem to be going well so far .
All im doing is trying to read a bit , crochet a bit and potter around a bit . No grand plans im afraid just domestic servitude and wandering through the tunnels between boxes going woe is me . lol ..wondering how im going to cook and seat people , turkey on your lap sitting on an Amazon box is looking likely

Saturday 17 November 2018


Well Hello Strangers , seasons greetings from the Amazon warehouse in the Fens , At least thats what it seems like a damned warehouse. Boxes and furniture piled up wherever you turn , not able to get to anything i need , musnt put the heating on because of all the boxes having some treasured electronica in them in front of every radiator , im really walking through tracks in every room its like an episode of hoarders it really is driving me mad . Its looking as if this could go on for months as middle son tries to find somewhere to live , not sure where to put a xmas tree but up his arse is a possibility . Hes happy in his hostel place , nobody bothers him, , him being huge and ginger has its advantages. Hes run up against the fact that nobody will let to him because hes on benefits , but if he gets a job he has to leave the hostel within seven days find a huge deposit quickly and then go into private rental but because hes under 25 he must have guarantors which we cant be because we are on benefits , everybody else in the family is either to selfish or on a pension .
The poverty trap is alive and well, blighting the lives of millions in this country , once you have to claim benefits your life is pretty much over , but not many get paid enough to manage without claiming anything , certainly the young are hit heavily at every turn .
  Our main concern has been funding heating oil this month , we had a call from the Vulnerable Tenants Officer the other day to remind us to apply for all the winter fuel grants, she didnt believe me when i told her we are ineligible for them all mainly because we have oil heating and cant be dual fuel customers , cant pay by direct debit and other daft ideas. Im currently once again having the usual arguments with Anglian Water , another engineer turned up the other day to fit a water meter only to say he cant do it without a team of engineers , so the cost to Anglian will be to high . Happens every year im afraid , this is ongoing so will keep you posted .

Saturday 10 November 2018

Funny Old Things

By now most of you know we are a tad skint , but this year has been since March a hundred percent better than 2017 the year of the DWP fiasco .
We are still living hand to mouth , theres not a lot of paying off debt or luxury, no saving for a rainy day , plenty of minimum cost meals. I watch political affairs on both sides of the atlantic and was chuffed to see that Trump is trying to get information released through the courts about certain websites that disagree with him , a couple of which i am members of . Maybe I will end up on his little list ? Im sure im on quite a few in this country . This morning however lets talk about the hatred in this country , we are becoming a hugely divided nation , the haves loathing the poor . The rich preaching know your place . One rule for the rich and no justice for the poor .  Sat outside the Coop the other day in the winter sunshine watching the local Conservative club over the road . There they are men of a certain age , reading the papers with a fag and a cheap pint , they hate the world with a vengeance, much like my mother in fact . My mothers been so foul and twisted of late that I can barely stand to talk to her. So bad in fact that i looked up angry dementia and found there is such a thing .  Maybe this is why were in this mess , all the wealthy oldies who vote tory have a form of dementia ?
On a more cheerful note , last week I took sarcastic son to the jobcenter for his ritual humiliation , hes now so full of antidepressants that he doesnt mind going , though 5 letters a day and endless threats to sanction him for their cockups isnt doing him a lot of good . While he was in I popped up the road and for some reason being on my own , I thought lets have a look at the M&S foodhall , the carpark was pretty deserted because the other big department store across the road is closed and being renovated . What can I say , I blew the catfood money on yellow sticker mince , pork and beef will keep me going for weeks . I suppose the posh folks dont buy a lot of mince ? there was numerous yellow sticker foodstuff seriously good but with a budget of £10 you have to prioritise this was at 2.00pm so what would the reductions have been later on ? 

Saturday 3 November 2018

Popping In

Im a very lax blogger at the moment , in fact ive barely switched the puter on for days , struggling to type , its as if ive never been so busy , we had another not unexpected death , the other Grandad left the building quietly but as he had Alzheimers and was very frail its a blessing .  Daughter is in bits , she was Grandads little girl , there have been lots of discussion over the munchkin going to the funeral , she wasnt keen but hes 10 and hes chuffed with hs new black tie , his big concern was whos going to buy him cherry bakewells now . Im not going its my ex father in law and we remained good friends till he didnt know anyone anymore but  its clear the rest of the family dont want me there .
The Jumble Sale season is over till the spring and apart from a couple of chrismas fairs that have a Jumble as well its cabin fever time , still trying to desperately finish the big garden jobs , ive a book pile thats huge, tons of craft stuff half finished and my hands have picked the worst time to play up , getting lots of swelling and painful joints , tried to explain to the nurse practioner that this happens from time to time and i just need a month of decent anti inflammatories to settle it , just blanked the idea and told me I can expect this kind of thing at my age!!! im 55 not 75 .  I explained that i cant hold a book or sew and knit and holding nails is virtually impossible , his reply . thats what sitting inside with the heating on and the TV for company is for ..grrrrrrrrrrr. So its tubes of Ibuprofen gel everyday till i trigger a bleed yet again,  the result of  the missing notes fiasco strikes again .
And the annual highlight of the year is very late ...Mr Bah Humbug started his Christmas rant last night , the Currys advert set him off on his usual commercial bullshit rant . But I must admit that what I find scary is the number of credit company adverts that are on every channel , even more scary is the rates they charge that they now have to plainly state, one you buy something for £400 and pay back over £1000 , desperate Christmas for so many folks this year i'm afraid , retail is going to take a slaughtering im afraid .  They do say that an awful lot of shopping precincts will close in January due to them having being bought by land speculators a few years ago , they have spent nothing on maintaining them and have encouraged them to deteriorate and will go into administration in January , making a huge profit on prime city center building land 

Tuesday 23 October 2018


This school holidays are proving rather good on the sleep front , not been woken up by the usual morning arguments at 6am is sheer luxury , though ive got up a little late for putting the stew on it will be fine tomorrow.  theres chicken pie left over from last night for dinner . Do I feel more lively for all this sleep, not really ive tons of outside jobs im tackling on my lonesome , occasioned by me stating that im not looking out of my kitchen window at a scrapyard any more . which has been added to by middle sons crap as well , the neighbours are moaning about all the bonfires im having , tough ive checked they havent got washing out and im sorry i dont have the money for two or three skips or to pay someone to sort it out for me , its just the munchkin and me .  Hes surprisingly strong for someone whos 10 in a couple of ..topping conifers and refelting and painting subject to funds  the big shed , along with plans to build a motorbike storage lean to are scheduled before winter sets in ...starting the conifers today with a bit of luck ...they burn so well , so  im saving them for a major bonfire for bonfire night , good job im building that heap at the very bottom of the garden , we dont do fireworks to many pets in the houses, but that end of the garden is  scheduled for veg garden next year its time for the middle garden to have a rest its been used for 3 years , so it can be grassed for a while , now i have the van back i can look about for some  more pallets to build a raised strawberry bed , its getting hard work bending down to pick

Friday 19 October 2018

Victorian Motto Sampler Shoppe: Return to Sleepy Hollow floss collection give-away...

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Thursday 18 October 2018


Blame the good weather , im still pottering outside so much ive had little time to blog , then there is still finding places in the Tardis for yet more stuff belonging to middle son . Its the school holidays next week and daughter goes on holiday tonight , what a coincidence . So full time munchkin duties .

Then I took a tumble the other day , sadly with Mr Bah Humbug witnessing not one of my more dramatic ones just a black knees and toes one yet again , but hes ranting on that i need to be fixed , which is a bit of a joke . you cant fix this one, ive been like it since i was a kid, sometimes i turn round and my feet decide not to, then its bang and im on the floor, theres a posh name for it these days , an axia of some sort where your brain doesnt send the signals fast enough , back in the day they just called you bloody clumsy . 

On the cat front theyve sort of settled into a armed truce , much hissing and squealing but no fur or blood anywhere . The scenting has settled down , and the house smells have gone , though ive never used so much cat litter ever , Misty cat likes to roll in the others cat litters and we have litter trays at different corners of the house .  Mr BH keeps saying he can smell wee but its the actual cat she seems to really like him after living with grandad and middle son , ive got him convinced hes having yet more of his sensory hallucinations.  Quite like the daft animal , shes obviously had a hard life and has been run over at some stage , her back end is a bit wobbly and stiff , she drools like a demon and she had the infamous 6+ designation from the Cats Protection when grandad got her last year , i suspect shes a real old timer and has decided this place isnt bad but shes determined to rule the roost .

Wednesday 10 October 2018

Woe Is Me

Its that time of year , season of mists and etc etc.  aka, winter is coming, the look at the outside job list still to do and shudder ..trees to chop , fences to paint, sheds to repair on and on . Still looking at loads of pears on the tree, no freezer space and im late getting the tiny turkey AARRGHH.

We have grandads cat now in residence , shes a mewling spitting ball of hate for our cats , but apart from Doris attacking her wanting to play and her constant howling to go out  its not going to badly nobody has been injured , Pennycat just ignores her and hisses a bit . Misty is her double which makes it fun trying to decide who youre letting out , poor old Misty is doing 3 weeks house imprisonment, grandads house isnt to far away so she needs a bit longer confined inside .  She likes hunting and the great outdoors , so the farm buildings and open fields should keep her happy once she settles in .
Middle son has a hostel place from this weekend , theyre still emptying grandads house and all his stuff is coming here  till he gets a place of his own , if the house sells quickly he will private rent, if not he may go into a shared house for the time being . The whole family is up in arms because hes going into a hostel that will be full of druggies and the homeless , really ?  He is a big sensible grown up , not easily lead , hes not a child and hes well aware that as a single person he has to have the magic bit of paper that says hes fit to be a tenant from one of the agencies the council employs , it doesnt matter if your 16 or 55 our council requires a fit for tenancy statement , this is the quickest and easiest way to obtain one . He has a caseworker helping him , so they know all the ins and outs. This move gets him lots of points in the bidding for a tenancy process . He knows that in the job market hes 5 years behind others his age because hes looked after grandma and grandad , so any job he gets will be on the bottom rung with minimum wages , so his wage will not cover full rent .  He at least stands some kind of chance if he can get a council or housing association flat . If it bothers the family so much why arent they offering him a bedroom?
Im going to be walking through tracks between furniture piles and boxes for months and its a joy to find out middle son has as many vehicles as his dad , his collection of bikes tools and scooters are arriving tomorrow , not sure where in this tardis theyre going, then theres his huge TV 

Thursday 4 October 2018

Moan Moan Moan

In my bid to become top moaning old biddy blogger , heres a few petty annoyances ...
Morrisons , oh dear theyve gone and modernised the Lincoln branch somewhat , we now have a party shop and endless homeware and clothes. I would quite like to buy food and have aisles wide enough to get more than a couple of trolleys up and down . I quite like morrisons and go every two or three months , mainly to stock up on pigs liver , its cheap and they sell it year round .
I know we are a student city and most of them are lovely but why does everything have to be geared towards them , the older generation exist, in fact they even have mature students , they would quite like a few more individual everyday shops . Individual shops seem to be all in the cathedral quarter , great if your a tourist , but in season and weekends you cant get near or park cheaply .  Business rates being what they are, everything is bleedin extortionate Uphill !!
Dentists , weird moan time , now im a strange person , i find touchy feely people impossible, i hate to be touched, it makes me want to throw up , hairdressers are a no go , doctors are cringe worthy , our new dentist in sing song friendly and foreign , lovely bouncy girl havent a clue what nationality she is , in fact i can barely understand her . I had to take Mr Bah Humbug last week and something just died inside , she touchy feely and i know i would end up going for her , its the only dentist that takes NHS ive got goosebumps just thinking about her ....AAARRGGGHH . try explaining that your childhood was bloody grim to most people and they look at you gone out , it can take years to get where i trust someone enough to let them even put a hand on my arm .

Jumble Sales all over this weekend , in fact i cant physically get to them all . 12.30 Harmston,  1.00 Branston Booths ,  Langworth 2.00, theres also one at Billinghay but the  sign was to small to see the time aarrggghh

Monday 1 October 2018

Men 2

The thing about men is they really dont know when to give up , so the van is finally complete, sat on its wheels on the ground looking pretty all Mr Bah humbug can say is thats its not up to his usual high standard , its taken far to long etc etc . The boys are scared for life by the experience, sarcastic son wants to go back to the shrink , middle son has decided dad is his hero. ,
Mr Bah Humbug is somewhat like a shedding leper , he discovered he could weld so long as he didnt wear any gloves . So hes burnt and crispy all over his hands and forearms , he cant feel it due to the nerve damage so its fine . REALLY .. yesterday he wanted me to sniff his crispy bits to see if any of it had gone rotten ...ffs
Yesterday I had to go see what all the laughing was , they had got an i pod blaring out while dwarf brother in law had a pair of Mr BHs overalls on rolled up 20 times dancing around doing Hammer Time , funniest thing ive seen for ages if your old enough to remember that era of bad pop music.

We also this week got to see a lovely lady doctor at the pain clinic , she got MR BH on a bad day when he looks like hes had a stroke , his face and eye had dropped and he was struggling even on his crutches but flatly refusing to go on his wheels. So he has new exercises that he can barely manage and he needs to get his walking distance up without crutches , she suggested a wheelie walker but he does have problems with them so he may need to think about an odd looking one that travels behind you , we have the literature for it , so we may have a whip round for ..we have a house full of mobility aids he hasnt got on with or stuff he uses once in a while . Its the unpredictability of his damage that makes it hard to find anything for daily use . The GPS have already been chowing about his changed perscription . The clinic  says the same thing MR BH does , that drugging him  on a daily basis to a huge level would do him no favours . He needs steady non opiate pain relief most of the time with heavy dose medication when hes acute , because being unconscious is all they can do when the pain is at that level . So he now has a very large quantity of industrial medication for as and when, his last box lasted him 18 months, it avoids him having to go to casualty on a regular basis and from the amount he uses he obviously isnt drug seeking . The 3 day rule still applies, seek medical help after 3 days or if he has urinary output problems.
So lifes pretty boring unless you remember Hammer Time 

Sunday 23 September 2018

50 Seconds of Fame

Yesterday I had a busy day , the last few gale forced days stuck in the house prompted Mr Bah Humbug to say we were going to Stickney car boot , so we toddled off to a freezing field in the middle of nowhere yet again , it was bitter so Mr decided to go in shorts and a tee shirt then spent the next 2 hours looking like a smurf mounted on his scooter , following us about commenting on how bracing it was , refusing one of my jumpers  which i hasten to add wasnt pink or floral and generally behaving like a pain . There was stil loads of stuff there but not a single thing i wanted , just veg lots of veg .
For the grand sum of £4.30  , I got a huge carrier bag of beetroot an even bigger bag of sweet potatoes of the wonky veg type , celery,  bag of 4 green cauliflowers, a huge savoy cabbage , bag of scrubbed carrots i couldnt carry it all , so i was grateful for middle son coming along for the ride . Then i managed to get a whole winters worth of huge fresh garlic cloves for £2 from a Polish gentleman i had a chat with , it seems his parents have a small farm and he does the trip once a month in his little white van, taking medicines and electrical goods out to them and loadening up with fruit and veg in season coming back , he said he thought this would be his last trip due to Brexit . Who knows .
Then I came home to a neighbour laden up with a car full of Bramleys his whole crop had come off in the gale , so he was doing the rounds of the village giving them away , he took a load of pears in exchange , the gales dont seem to have bothered mine at all .  He was eying up my rose hips and i told him to just take what he wanted and ask round if anyone has a use for hops, mine have gone mental this year and i dont need them this year .
And my 50 seconds of fame you may ask , it was The bowls club jumble sale yesterday at Washingborough , stood in the scrum at the jumble . A lovely lady and a horrified partner , he said it was all the fault of that bloody blogger she reads who goes to all the jumbles round Lincoln and says what bargains can be bought I get any bargains ? a book , 3 articles of clothing and the biggest ball of Arran Wool ive ever seen,  spent £1.20 , im just such a spendthrift . Notice for another jumble was on the wall.  6th Oct at Potterhamworth Booths Village Hall , do check this as their are often last minute changes .

Thursday 20 September 2018


Now many of you know that Mr BH is a tad handicapped due to spinal problems , their interesting side effects plus a heart that skips and jumps . Which is why hes known as the families pet cripple .
Last month the van miserably failed its MOT at the local garage , it needed a lot of welding , not just a bit . Now the man who has the garage is a mate , he hates welding so avoids it whenever he can , we had one of those natters as we do .
"Cant the old man do it , hes a far better welder than me"
Bare in mind hes not seen MR BH in person for a couple of years . I go home and Mr  Bah Humbug picks up his crutches and demands to be driven up to the garage . He hobbles in on his crutches , grabs a pew and they sit and bitch for ages . We come home and he says "im thinking about it "
Next day the deliveries start arriving , we already had all the welding gear gathering dust , it was all lumps of metal and tins of gunk .
By the end of the week he tells me to bring the van home and announces the boys are starting welding school whether they like it or not !!
Worryingly when i went to pick it up , his mate at the garage says . So hes figured out where to get a sex gym from???!!
I should have been suspicious when a huge engine hoist appeared from grandads , but i decided to just go out and stay out .
On coming home they have the rear of the van five feet off the ground achieved with a tilt lift and the engine hoist, and numerous scaffolding poles . Mr Bah humbug is lashing strapped on a pile of sofa cushions on a crawler board and they are wheeling him around as needed . He has his dwarf brother underneath grinding away and the boys stood there like a pair of lemons looking horrified .
Sarcastic son informs me that plan A had been to dangle Mr Bah Humbug from the engine hoist so he could do the welding , the crawler board is plan B but Mr BH had to take some serious industrial pain relief after Plan A had failed miserably he then  told them not to ring an ambulance whatever happened . The pain relief was so effective that he kept falling over so thats when Plan B had been hatched .
Mr Bah Humbug spent the rest of the weekend drugged unconscious !!! totally unable to walk .
The neighbours have spent the last couple of weeks looking in horror at the flying van on the drive , we have had people knock on the door to ask how hed achieved it , dog walkers standing shaking their heads etc etc . Mr BH has achieved village legend status but he says its simply an engineering formula involving counterweights ....MEN be continued

Monday 17 September 2018

Unending Saga

When will the trail of caseworkers ever end in our ..Nice son has got his very own caseworker to help him with housing needs , it would seem he may well be housed by the council , much to our surprise. I did think it would be a case of finding a private rental for him , so was working on funding that somehow .  Because his homelessness will be caused by  bereavement  and he has got a formal notice to quit from the solicitors he would be fast tracked into the same hostel that Young Baldrick  was in .  Because he has no problems with drink or drugs it would just be for a few weeks to assess him for independent living , which he wouldnt have any problems with , he does need a bit of help with form filling etc as he has a slight learning difficulty which is why he gets a caseworker . It does mean that i somehow have to accomodate all his furniture and goods into storage here until he gets somewhere to live . What fun that will ..His scooters and car are arriving today , he has a car but he cant drive yet, Grandad became very poorly just at the point he started his driving lessons.
Otherwise Harvest Chores are eating huge chunks of time , apples though small are in their hundreds , not good keepers they are being eaten and apple sauced in the slowcooker daily the mountain of pears next on the list  , still hunting for that cheap large upright freezer with my name on it at the auctions , the van being off the road for a few more weeks is hampering my plans .  My car that had been off the road since i finished work has gone to live with Uncle Kevin till it dies , it started first go after nine months on the drive !! and that has left a gap for sons car.
 Im frantically trying to get rid of stuff to make room for sons stuff , biggest annoyance was that i filled the cars boot with loads of toys and books then could find no charity shop that would take them , apparently they dont take many toys on health and safety grounds , they wont take action man because it promotes war ,but they will willingly take slutty Bratz dolls that promote what? ...go figure . Only unused sealed toys are welcome . six shops later , the local hospice took them .

I found a file with dozens of my knitting patterns !!

Sunday 9 September 2018

The Return

So im back , from the depths of gloom and bafflement , non the wiser, but life is busy taking its weird turns yet again . Yesterday was the first normal , take me to the jumble sales i need some stress relief day and i had company . Middle son , now relieved of grandad duties has shown an interest in getting out and about and he likes finding all manner of strange gaming and electronica for pennies . The main problem is that hes a big lad and can carry almost anything , think Ginger Desperate Dan , they share a build and a cow pie wouldnt phase him in the slightest . I feel like a dwarf at the side of him . the plus side of this is that i can buy big stuff and he just carries it effortlessly
Real world problems are surfacing yet again , son needs to find somewhere to live , hes still at grandads at the moment , he has the option to stay as long as he wants but even he admits he cant afford the running costs of a big four bedroom detached, even if he gets a job straight away.  We dont have the room but daughter is applying for mortgages and looking at houses so longer term he could be coming here , but hes not that keen,  hed like a bit of independence, hes 24 and gave up all the usual teen and youngster stuff to look after grandad and grandma who had Alzheimer's.
I did scare him and Mr Bah Humbug to death yesterday , all i suggested was if he couldnt get a job he could look after his dad and i could go back to work , the looks of horror on both their faces was well worth it 

taken when he was a teenager , posted just to embarrass

Tuesday 21 August 2018

Its All A Bit

Im needing to take a bit of a break , not content with Grandad popping off another extended family member has gone in dramatic fashion all very tragic and strange , so its take a break for a couple of weeks . Mr Bah humbug is more than rattled by this incident and he needs me around at the moment much more than usual ....September is Jumble Sale season so hopefully matters will be resolved by then ...bye for now

Wednesday 15 August 2018

Bringing Out The Best

Well the boys grandad decided hospital lunch wasnt for him and after breakfast and a natter popped his clogs quite quietly at the weekend . Middle son says its because he didnt want to hang around for the birth of the antichrist!!  Theres never been any love lost between him and Young Baldrick .  Mr Bah Humbug is quite upset, after all his ex father in law had been a mate for 25 years and he still used to go and sit with him up till a couple of weeks ago.  Middle son is quiet but I think he knows that it was for the best , hes still at grandads fending off various family members who could barely wait for the announcement before they were round shouting...MINE
There is a large family who all hate each other and it looks as if its going to be the whole familiar saga of greed and guilt. Grandad was a very Marmite figure , he didnt care for me and i was pretty ambivalent about him . The boys will attend the funeral , we are keeping our distance, the squabbling and fallouts will doubtless continue for weeks and unless it affects the boys we are not getting involved
On a completely different note . Im so glad the weather has cooled , ive cranked up the slow cooker cauldron of doom and im testing winter menu dishes , best discovery ,the cucumber glut that the munchkin grew can be incorporated into curry , sausage casserole and bolognese without anyone noticing . we have a mental amount of plums but they are gorgeous and dont hang around for long . Year of the wasps is upon us so picking fruit can be interesting . I need to pick the tons of windfalls from the apples , im hoping the rain swells them as they are tiny this year . Pears, its an average year small but plenty .
So life is currently remaining quiet and not very exciting , which is a good thing

Sunday 12 August 2018

Well I Never

Im having a bit of a flabbergasted week  trying to get my head around a family event announcement that came out of the blue .  It would seem that Young Baldrick is breeding !!!  No one sounded more shellshocked than his partner as she announced this over the phone , it would seem that she assumed it was the menopause , being somewhat older than him plus already a mother of three that are growing up fast .  So the event is due around Xmas . Her health not being not great and with Young Baldricks genetic problems , they will have to see how it goes im afraid . It stands a much better chance of not having problems if its a girl . It will merely carry the defective gene he has. His partners problems are not genetic merely bad luck in life . So im not starting knitting  just yet , but being a pair of Goths I may get to knit goth baby clothes and embroider bats!!!
Then the boys poorly Grandad ended up in hospital with a chest infection , he is dying as he tells you ,but hes been dying for well over two years now and keeps hanging on to the edge of the hole as the dirt crumbles around him , hes out of intensive care and on to a ward now so once again he may make it home for our middle son to look after , if stubbornness can keep you alive hes got a while yet . As his son commented its not time to ring the Coop yet !!

Tuesday 7 August 2018

Party Political Old Biddy Broadcast

So lets talk politics , now I have to say this in public , im from the north , im a benefit scrouger . see that wasnt hard was it ?
So therefore I feel its my duty to comment on the current state of the Labour Party , WTF!!!  Party ? you useless bunch of tossers are like a gang of kids in the final week of the school holidays , ripping into each other over trivialities , unable to unify.

 Put aside your differences and stand together that is the strong point of the Party , not this endless infighting , the press is mincing you on all sides . Jeremy old love just tell them all to shut up , stop wasting your time and voice on anti semitism . Get on your soapbox and tell the world we are not discussing this matter at the present time we have more pressing problems at home . Most people grasp there is no right or wrong on that argument , The Israeli lobby will stll be going on about the Holocaust for the next millennia as an excuse for any atrocity they care to commit , The Palestinian lobby learn hatred at their mothers teats , they will be butchering each other till the end of time . Sort your own Party out chuck .
You Jeremy are electable in an old fossil kind of way , your Blairite pack of backstabbers however are not, anything tainted by the Blair label needs to go  , preferably before the return of Mrs May from her humiliating jollys round Europe tour .

Brexit..ho hum so Mrs May is grovelling her way around Europe in the guise of being on holiday , we must all tremble at the thought of a no deal Brexit . Horror stories in the press everyday , you do get the feeling that she realises that she has a hopeless bunch of incompetents as ministers and that they will be crying in the closets of their offices come the day , meanwhile there's pensioners building up huge food stocks rather like preparing for the Millenium Bug to strike , or the next Armageddon date .  I would think the most you need is to make sure your up to date with any regular medication , buy a few tins of milk powder and just ignore the panic .

 Unless you live in a city that is , where if they run out of Energy Drinks the riots will begin , theres nothing like looting a TV shop to help with hunger pangs is there ? Didnt Boris buy a few water cannons ?

Tuesday 31 July 2018

Well That Was Fun

The annual pilgrimage to a field near Leicester is done for another year , camping was not fun . so hot you could barely breath, then tropical monsoon season , now  I have a wet tent to try and dry, plus mosquito bites that are nasty and all over , anti histamines and ibuprofen seem to be working .
 Mr didnt move much and spent the time nattering to mates sat on his throne , even he said its getting to much for him , the ground had cracked badly due to the heat so he darent go out on his crutches, even the loo trips were deadly .
Did come back to find id won a lot at the local auction that i hadnt viewed , I now have someone elses material stash to add to my had the chance to go through it yet just a quick look at the vintage knitting patterns id spotted in the sale photo . My daughter however had a mental moment and bid on the wool stash , shes just discovered crochet and being stuck at home on sick for another week at least ,thought this was a good idea , she now has a huge mountain of weird and wonderful wool , she also purchased another dressing table , just because it was cheap , I can currently hear all the banging about upstairs as she tries to sort that out . There was also a huge bag full of wool scraps and knotted together wool that will be my TV watching hobby of an evening for a while , she would have just chucked this but im finding it quite satisfying proving the point that theres a use for ...pompoms wool for the munchkin , fibre art etc etc
So thats my boring uneventful life ...but after the fun we have had in the last year uneventful is good

Thursday 26 July 2018

Ho Hum

I think im rather neglecting the blog at the minute , but its the heat and endless chores eating up my life plus lets not forget the granny duties . You know the six weeks of trying to stop munchkin and Grandad from killing each other . Ive been fortunate in a weird way , daughter is off sick after her boob job , so shes been able to keep him entertained . But thats part of the problem he expects to be entertained every waking hour . What has happened to kids in this generation they seem to be totally unable to amuse themselves , hes banned from all electronica because nothing he watches is in the slightest bit educational and he can run rings round me when it comes to blocking the endless trash he would otherwise view . When did kids TV become such dross , apart from horrible histories which im addicted to , at least he doesnt want to watch endless Heartbeat like last year so theres some plus points ..
At nine years old our summers were the great outdoors and that was it for 6 weeks , thats the principle my gran worked on with me and my boy cousins there were 6 of us most days , we were fed huge slices of jam and toast in the morning and we were out of the door for the day by 8am . We had a tumble down ramshackle farm to amuse ourselves with , chasing rats out of the stacks , with an old petrol scooter to trog round the lanes on , plus build ramps from anything we could find , dens , fires to roast our hedgerow dinner on , half cooked spuds and fruit from the hedgerows , tomatoes filched from someones greenhouse . On health and safety grounds alone we should all have been

We have a glorious summer and you barely see a child out playing, Vitamin D makes them grow , in theory 4 inches during the school holidays for boys , I know houses dont have gardens anymore but in a bid to get them out there maybe we should have turn off the router week ?

Monday 16 July 2018

Fun Packed Weekend

So we toddled off at 6am on Saturday to the big car boot at Stickney near Boston  , Mr took his spazzie buggy and trundled round remarkably well it was huge and the paths are made from crushed shells so no boulders or big holes , they also had a disabled toilet which is unusual for a car boot and the parking was right by the gate . Do wear shoes rather than sandals the crushed shell gets everywhere . So yes i would recommend this one for the differently abled so long as your battery is fully ..Going early in this heat is a must and before the crowds if your in a chariot is always a good idea we left at 10 and the place was heaving  .
Did we buy lots of stunning treasures?  err nope , I bought a carrier bag of wool and a load of fruit and veg which we shared with grandad, new potatoes with everything this week , i must have stopped to look at hundreds of things but nothing said take me home . Mr bought loads of current buns for the freezer and some weird engineering bits as he does. Must have walked miles, Mr came home in a state every tiny bump ramps his pain up so it was snoring with industrial drugs afternoon .
Then yesterday it was fishing with BIL , crabby grandad and the Munchkin because his had surgery last week mother, had gone to see Eminem with her mate , the tickets cost so much she would have gone on a stretcher methinks .
Without the Munchkin its great fishing, i get a bit of cross stitch and a good book to read between fish , i have to land them all , set up all his equipment etc , Mr cant manage that part anymore on a plus point it can be a long time between fish he only managed 6 all day yesterday , and  i was introducing a family of voles to Watermelon rind , looking for wildflowers and stopping Mr and Munchkin from killing each other , so 12 hours on a lake side was hard work.
  Industrial drugs again for MR last night now hes snoring on the sofa,  so a quiet day with lots of chores and hopefully a siesta....if im lucky, the munchkin breaks up for summer on Friday so then ive six weeks of trying to keep him and grandad occupied and amused without them killing each other , I was looking at a bottle of Gin in the coop last night and wishing i was

Wednesday 11 July 2018

Autism Paranoid Rant

I tend to think a little outside the box because i was raised by those who were on the spectrum before it was even viewed as existing,. plus ive raised those on the spectrum as well. I come from a family where autism runs rife , its such a huge spread of a diagnosis that i think all of us have some of the traits , but only those of us who are a problem in some way, usually with schools, end up stuck with the label .
 I have an Aunt in her 60s who has spent most of her life in care , back in the day she was merely viewed as retarded as a toddler, put into a special school then graduated to a Mental Asylum . She was pregnant in her teens , had no idea of how it had happened and her perfectly normal son was taken and raised by another aunt.  She now lives in a sheltered housing scheme  and spends her days happily playing internet bingo for hours , visited by my generation and her son . The older generation , my mothers, have simply ignored her existence for most of her life . You put people like that "away" as my mother says , she also had another Cousin much the same who also had the same life pattern , put away as a child to be forgotten about .  My mother arranged for my Aunt to be sterilized after the birth of her son , thats how things were done back in the 60s .
Lets fast forward to now the enlightened age, so called , once again im noticing some rather odd happenings , the rather high incidence of children being labelled with different Autistic Spectrum disorders in schools . My grandson has been signposted as autistic at numerous points in his school career , usually when a teacher cant cope with him , hes a damned handful, far older than his nine years, think street smart teenager with a gob .  He grasps concepts far beyond the other kids , has an interest in making money and politics and does not conform , hes very much an individual . Having raised his mother and her brother , plus inherited Mr Bah Humbugs genetically disordered pair , i dont bat an eyelid . Theyre great adults who think outside the box.
 Young Baldrick attended the same junior school , he was a violent aggressive nightmare there , he will have problems all his life , but hes doing sort of ok at the moment .
But the big problem we have is that after 2 years of a wonderful young teacher , who loves my grandson to bits , accepts his odd,etc etc . Well next year he has the old witch from hell as his teacher she taught Young Baldrick back in the day and was assaulted by him on a couple of occasions . when he was in nursery she made my grandsons life a living hell , she insisted that he should be statemented on numerous occasions, we refused, the situation just got worse and worse. Till he went up a year and suddenly he was fine with a different teacher .
There is no other school , the headmaster is to put it nicely a bit of a spineless nobody . He loathes me and the fact that i know far more about the autistic spectrum than he does , for an uneducated guess my grandsons problem is GAD  Global Anxiety Disorder , put under pressure he panics then you get a full on meltdown . Other than that hes educationally far beyond his peers, when he finds an interest in something hes obsessive , he excels at all things sport . But I admit he can be a handful if hes bored.
The teacher he is going up to has the older generation attitude to Autism , they should all be stuffed in a special school , not cluttering up her classroom of normal children. My grandson should have the official label stuck on him then so she doesnt have to bother making any effort . Next year at school is going to be fun but not for my grandson .
Discuss ................

Wednesday 4 July 2018


So im sat inside looking at the sun again till after tea ...then activity start till midnight , just got to weed burn the veg beds once the sun has moved to the front garden ,plus clean out a shed, on a plus note no grass to mow as its all dried up and died ...Question why arent weeds killed by the drought ?
I popped a few cheapy melon plants in that i got from the car boot sale for 20p , they are loving the heat and look quite promising , the sweetcorn is going mental and it almost looks like a garden , this is the munchkins food growing project this year he has beans and marrows as well , ive just been concentrating on garden destruction , no fixed plans just a trail of destruction based on what i can scrounge from skips and local fly tipping This afternoon its going to be process stuff for the freezer , daughter keeps buying fruit and veg but its that hot nobody is eating much , ive celery and carrots that will make stew packs for the winter . we did demolish loads of honey roast parsnips cold the other day they were 5p a bag in the Coop so i couldnt turn them down really , quiche for tea made from fridge leftovers , ive a sad pineapple that may be roasted as well , curry coleslaw and a rice variant of some description. Ive also started putting a few bread bags of mash variants into the freezer everybody's buying new potatoes at the moment so theyre cropping up under yellow label a lot . Just useful for a quick shepherds pie when i cant be bothered .
This weekend its the 1940s weekend at Woodhall Spa , it brings in thousands of tourists so we wont be going very far , its strange its the stuff nearest to you that you never visit isnt it . Mr suggested we should go, but the parking is £10 which isnt that bad and theres tons of stuff to see and do but  its miles away from where he wants to be, theres a shuttle bus but he wouldnt be able to get on or off  with ease . I wanted to go and visit an archeological dig in Lincoln that has an Open Day on Saturday so we might go their instead

Monday 2 July 2018

Ode to the Builders

Well the builders have been fun , they turned up on the right day at the right time and were baffled by what they had to do . Their worksheet consisted of one line . Fit replacement boiler .
There was no stock list so they had no idea we were an oil property , we waited for the delivery of parts to find out out what they were actually doing , it did turn up eventually and consisted of the same boiler just a newer one and a single radiator . By this time id rung the council and played hell up , the builders were ringing their office up playing hell up and chaos raineth !!
Bless him the lad said I can only fit what has been ordered so started ripping the old boiler out , the folks from the council turned up that afternoon by which time i was seething , id spent 2 days moving everything for them to need nothing moving !! I might as well talk to a pair of planks , it would seem their was a communication error between the council and the builders , we had to have the boiler delivered because the part form hadnt been filled in correctly. So what was the point in fitting a new boiler the same as the old one ? more waffle im afraid so it took them just a day and a half in total and im still trying to put stuff away , theyre also coming next week to fit a new oil tank and im not moving the shed !! they can walk round to the cow field at the back with it stuff them!!

Monday 25 June 2018

5am start

Well ive been up an hour and i can vouch for the fact that at 5am it was glorious here on the edge of the fen , now the fog is so thick that i cant even see across the garden
Mr is snoring on the sofa he hasnt slept much having decided to start a major project in the garden , a huge complex radio mast that isnt going well and must be finished before the builders start Thursday and  more work on it today, I could cheerfully put a pillow over his head , my back is screaming from having to help him yesterday and it had just nicely settled down again to the point where i walked the school run yesterday for the first time in weeks .
 Theres the big tent to be put up today for him to move into for the builders visit , im rather hoping hes eaten by Bambi or visited by a herd of rabid hedgehogs in the middle of the night . but then again hes informed me i must have a walkie talkie with me at all times, day and night so he can call for assistance. Bleedin men!!!  All this because he has to take his pride and joy custom built Vespa out of the dining room for the duration , its not insured because the insurance lapsed during the DWP wars and he now cant afford to reinsure it  because they have trebled the premium , i have suggested chaining it to his commode or his ankle , theres a wee bit of an atmosphere to say the least .
Ive spent every penny i had on an online grocery shop because i simply cant fit a trip out into this weeks equation.
 This is where i turn into the evil grouch from hell due to lack of sleep and back pain  , Mr Siestas through the day keeps me up all night and im running round like a headless chicken trying to move everything for the builders , then nursy duties Thursday onwards with daughter after her op, the builders here , the munchkin to sort and garden duties . Heatwave , sarcastic son being even stranger than usual , case worker visits goes on and on 

A Life , A Life , My Kingdom for A Life

Friday 22 June 2018

The Curse of the Builders

A very Agatha Christie title today methinks...
Anyway the gist of my rant  is that the builders are starting next Thursday , not bad since it was November when they were going to do the urgent boiler replacement. The man from the contractors turned up the other day to assess the job . It would seem its all going to be completely different to what the council told us they were doing . they are now not putting the boiler outside, its going back in the dining room , they are also replacing all the radiators , taking out the cylinder from the airing cupboard , not replacing any of the pipework and it all has to be done in two days...really
Confidence was not inspired by the fact that the bloke they sent stank of beer and appeared to be still pissed from watching England the night before , he turned up an hour late then fell asleep in his van outside !!
He also pointed out that theyre replacing the oil tank outside , and that we may be expected to move a shed to give tham access!! but that will be next month thank god , not sure how im going to manage that at all .
The inevitable moaning about our jammed stop tap that they wont replace because its joined to a lead house supply and its in the middle of the kitchen not on an outside wall , we are tenants this isnt our problem, contact the council they are well aware, im not wasting my breath anymore !!
So chaos raineth , Mr Bah Humbug has a lip on because ive told him he must remove the Vespa from the dining room . He has announced he is moving out into the large tent in the garden because he cant cope with the hassle , floorboards up etc and hes taking his scooter and his porta potty
ive got to move furniture with a nine year old munchkin as my assistant , because everybody is either ill or not here at the moment , daughter is having surgery on the day they start so i cant even be there for her ...aaargggggggghhhh

Monday 18 June 2018

Going Home Runrig

The road trip to Manchester was a resounding success,, ive never cried so much , my eyes are still sore . Runrig has been the Story of my Life ,  through a crap marriage , singledom and then MR Bah Humbug and his trials and tribulations there has always been Runrig.  We have grown old together and them hanging up their guitars has dragged that thought into the forefront of my mind . There was even a fan in an urn occupying a seat .  The Munchkin loved it once it was up and running and he and another little girl got to shake hands and be fussed by the band , there were a great many generational families there , a lot of stereotypical mad drunk jocks and many a tear was shed .

So this was the best xmas present ever, if the saddest , I wish i could have managed the final night at Stirling but at least my daughter and her partner will be there .

Im on such a morbid drag over this that yesterday I pointed out to Mr Bah Humbug that Penny Cat and little Doris will probably be the last kittens we ever own , his comment ?

Well youd best hurry up and snuff it ,then they can burn you in a pyre at Stirling on the final night !!!

Saturday 16 June 2018

Runrig Bound

So today im being dragged to Manchester to see Runrig for the final time , its been a long journey down the years , they have announced their retirement and this is the final tour , so im dragging  my sorry lame arse along with daughter and grandson to the Bridgewater hall . The munchkin has been in a state all week about it , despite seeing more live bands than your normal nine year old , hes in a tiz because its Manchester and people get blown up there . I have pointed out that im still here despite people getting blown up in Manchester since I was a kid .

My Daughter is going to the final concert up in Scotland later in the summer but I knew i would struggle with that, as at the moment im struggling to sit will be interesting to say the least but i will manage , lots of will power will get you most places then i can snot and cry with the other old biddies at the end of an era

Tuesday 12 June 2018

Timed Out

AARRGGGHHH  when do i get the time to blog ? Life has sadly been rather full on the last couple of weeks . Mr BH had a minor foot op last week , trivial but very painful and now the bruising is starting to come out hes in a bit of a state , so grumpy has no meaning , we are all trying to avoid him.
 Idiot GP doubled the tablets that are doing me no good theyre still doing no good as i told him theyve never worked in the past why would they now?  theyve left me very dizzy and spaced out , so when i get an appointment hes going to be told where to shove them .
 Ive now been asking him to send me up to see the kidney bloke for 6 months , my back pain is getting to the level of cant move.
Idiot GP proudly announced that they had received my medical notes transcribed from the secret vault they are kept in by the government. It consisted of 93 94 and 95 the only years they could find !
He now admits that i have had various surgeries that if he could be arsed to examine me can be plainly seen in the motheaten carcass i live in . Im fairly sure i have a kidney stone ive had them before ,that needs lazering, well i hope thats what it is . If not god knows.

Then my ex father in law 92 who went into full time care with Alzheimers  earlier in the year, was told to clear his 3 bedroom council property out in 7 days , despite the rent being paid and up to date . So my daughter got lumbered with that job, because she had a van and nobody else could be arsed among his 3 sons and numerous grandchildren , they  just told the Council to bin it all and send them the bill.  She rescued all his personal stuff photos and paperwork , delivered stuff to various charities , gave stuff to his neighbours who helped her once she told them the situation etc etc .
Harold was a lovely bloke , he would do anything for anyone and cared for his partner Mary for over 20 years , he went down hill very quickly after a couple of falls and just gave up . He knows nobody when they visit him , Alzheimers is so cruel, so we grieve for him twice its just his shell sat in the old folks home he has left the building

Friday 25 May 2018

Pussy Power Lincoln

So thats me showing up on all the weirdos internet searches this morning !!
Today their are 2 cat Jumble sales in Lincoln , Dunholme cat protection 1.00 advertised on lincs fm events page and Lincoln Cat Care at Washingborough 12.00 very little advertising, without a Tardis very little chance of making it across Lincoln to them both due to traffic give it a go if i dont budget out at the first
Last Sunday I had a whole £4 in my purse and toddled off with the munchkin to the car boot at Metheringham , if i can get a vehicle out this is my preferred relaxation , but at the moment theres always some snoring zombie parked behind me . I do like to go really early to avoid heat and crowds , plus i can get back by 9 to sort Mr Bah Humbug out for the day .
Did I buy loads ? nope it was garden canes , some different beans to those the mice army ate and a few herbs that havent overwintered and of course a couple of  Broke my heart there was a 70s Sindy with other Sindy bits and bobs in a bright red little suitcase £4 the woman asked was she charging to much ? Nope im just skint as usual.
This brings me to odd thought on Poverty , its all over the press and internet how hard times are , millions living in povety etc etc . But isnt poverty something you perceive yourself to be in . In my Darkside job I often had to fill in statements of income for various court purposes with people , it was a real eye opener. There were those who couldnt understand that £200 a month on self care , gyms hairdressers beauticians etc isnt a necessity . That kids after school clubs costing £100s a month arent a necessity, car leasing £500 a month etc etc they consider themselves poor .
But the other end of the scale are those who exist on a pension or other government pittance and make a go of it , they dont consider themselves poor, just grateful to have something coming in .  The label Scroungers is stuck to them , but its a lot more time consuming and stressful than people imagine its not sitting there covered in tattoos , smoking fags and sitting outside the pub on a sunny afternoon , its endless errors , lies and downright cruelty from this incompetent shower of shit ruling us . We are being run by an incompetent school debating society , who dont even do their own shopping ....rant over

Sunday 20 May 2018

Going To The Chapel  Had to pop this link in didnt I . 

Image result for prince harry swim suit
 Got to be the best of the wedding souvenirs .
I spent the wedding sat on the side of a fishing pit with Mr Bah Humbug and his brother The Ginger Gnome , snored through most of the day im afraid , then came home to view the wedding highlights .
Ive come to the conclusions that Amal Clooney is a succubus , nobody should be able to look that good and George is starting to look more tiny and wasted every day as if she sucks the life from him . There was some seriously stunning fashion on show most of it really tasteful . Victoria Beckham looked like she was going to a funeral , i do hope the Pizza delivery was for her , I know shes tiny but theres limits.
The bride looked stunning and the Firms bling was very impressive , she was born for that tiara .
 Just like a proper chav wedding there were endless family problems , you do wonder who got hammered at the reception and threw up in the pot plants. 
For those of us who dont really get Royalty the highlight had to be The Windsors Royal Wedding Special , chuckled my way through that one, watch this if you get the chance its on catch up TV somewhere , the Tramp Catcher was a gem and proved to be very true .
I do think Meghan is the brains in this relationship , brilliant move inviting so many of his exes.  Harry always comes across as nice but worthy, he will be the Labrador of husbands , baffled but adoring , so long as she can convince him that his decisions are his own they should have a long and happy marriage. 

Wednesday 16 May 2018

Sun Is Shining

You know when you start a job then it leads to endless other jobs ?  Well i went down the garden and started tidying , nothing got done at the backend of last year due to Mr Bah Humbugs health and the DWP . 2 Bonfires later i had the thought we dont need as much veg this year , so lets remodel the garden !!  So despite a really late spring and the swamp being hard going ive started . Theres also the fact that Mr BH can no longer get this far from the house to criticise everything i get up to . Still have no funds for this project so its all got to be scrounged or picked up from local fly tipping on the airfield , the local resource for all manner of useful things . This is eating all my spare time in fact ive only managed a single Jumble sale and a visit to Torksey car boot . Mr BH doesnt go into Jumble Sales even the ones with tea and cakes his walking being pretty dire these days .

Torksey hasnt changed in the two years since my last visit , still tons of stuff and Mr BH can get round half of it on his buggy the other half would need an off road buggy its all up and down and potholes , so he sat and people watched while i spent a whole £1.50 on a gorgeous green vinyl 70s suitcase covered in world travel labels and a couple of plants . He still hates his buggy with a vengeance , he says its just embarrassing and people stare , but it is the only way he can get around.

But despite Mr BH being a grumpy mardy wee cripple , I wouldnt be without him . Sues sad news brings that home , Col will be sadly missed a really useful male and an epic maker of bookcases  with a cheeky grin right up to the end . 

Wednesday 9 May 2018

A Mumsy Tale

I psyched myself up last night to phone my mother , Mr Bah Humbugs comment was , "Soul Eating Time !!"
Bless her she was positively chirpy .

 I had an electrical problem . I blew up my kettle!!!
Then none of my sockets worked and the fuse box is under the airing cupboard and if i get under there i cant get out .
The gist is she had blown the trip and the idiots who she had in to replace her boiler had moved the consumer unit from out of the airing cupboard into a tiny empty cupboard beneath just to make it more convenient for an 83 year old.

Have you got Darren to come round and sort it for you ?  my cousin lives a couple of streets away

No hes on holiday , so I asked Mark, he managed to pop in between jobs .

Now my Cousin Mark lives in the same town , hes an undertaker and between jobs meant he came and parked his black private ambulance on the drive , while he flipped her trip, had a cuppa and tried to escape from her  My mother lives in a quiet little close packed with other pensioners . 
The next morning she got up to find a pair of cards on the mat, opened them and they were condolences on her own
Being my mother she had gone stomping round to the two old dears involved, had a go, and given them the cards back . The jungle drums being good in a small town she had gone shopping  ,got on the bus and it all went quiet .
We then had a whole rant about the fact she only had two cards on the mat and people staring at her  ....Mothers!!

Tuesday 8 May 2018


This week has been a tad strange , the orthopedics firm that the local authority puts in place has been replaced with a new one , so we were summoned for a triage meeting with a new consultant for Mr Bah Humbug , so we toddled off to see this newbie .  He was very Eastern European , good English seems to know his stuff , but i dont think hes worked in the NHS much . The outcome is hes stopping Mr BH referral to Hull which it has taken 2 years to get , mainly because its not worth treating him due to his other health problems mainly the heart problems that they cant find a cause for ,  hes also asking for a referral to have MR BH gastric banded , which was the point where MR BH started to look a wee bit baffled , hes also sure that at least 2 more discs , have gone at the top of Mr BHs spine but he will just have more and more go anyway so when do you stop replacing them ?  He also questioned why MR BH uses crutches .
When we managed to get in a word edgeways and pointed out he has problems at the bottom of his spine as well that cause neuropathy and bowel and waterworks problems , he looked at the scans went AARRGG..... then  he beamed at us and said gastric band will not cure him but it will make him easier to move for me when hes bedridden . The look on the nurses face was a picture . We came out looked at each other and just cracked up laughing ......but its not really funny at all .
I think the consultant has spent to much time in the private sector that he thinks a NHS gastric band is just asked for and given , i seem to remember it takes 2 years of counselling and at least 5 stone weight loss before your even considered for the list, thats without the fact that MR BH is inoperable due to his unexplained heart problems  , plus he will be just as disabled after having one as he is now . But easier for me to care for , ive a feeling the new consultant is going to rattle an awful lot of cages , but i quite liked him .
Its also sent MR BH into one of his really dark mental holes yet again, hes going to be referred to Pain Clinic  to try and numb him to his future methinks, theyre always a nice helpful bunch so we have to settle for that for now .

Thursday 3 May 2018

Old Biddy Party Political Broadcast 2018

Something ive noticed on my morning wander around the free internet papers The wonderful lack of Jeremy Corbyn in the Daily Fail , not a single derogatory comment , not even a comment on his carrots leaning to the Left , we are not voting today but a lot of people are in the local elections  so why have they given up on their weird hobby of imaginary Corbyn bashing . Now I like Corbyn in a dinosaur kind of way,  but You must admit he must be the most boring dinner guest on the planet, sort of Comrade pass the lentils .  and I admit i wouldnt waste a vote on the Blair Lovies he has to put up with .
The Labour Party has played a blinder with Corbyn as the leader , hes a good public speaker , he likes talking to people, in fact hes not afraid of the great unwashed at all . But you do get the impression that if hes elected one day within weeks he may choke on a lentil or fall down the stairs of the Labour Party headquarters . The party is growing in numbers everyday , every DWP letter on the mat is another Labour vote. Once Universal Workhouse really starts to hit thats even more Labour Votes .
So while we wait for the next general election , Labour is grafting at getting the votes of the little people .
The Tory Party  hit big problems ,they decided that the little people count for nothing , they ignored there local branches and many are shutting due to lack of support and an ageing population , so they began to bum lick big business for party funding because its not hard work to get a few million off them .  It never crossed their minds that the businesses would one day expect something in return .
Then we got Cameron mmmm...what a tit  , the look of horror when he realised the Brexit  hadnt gone the way it was planned , after all they only discussed it with big business party funders at their endless cocktail parties . Then the little people kicked him straight in the arse , my mother and every other Zenophobic pensioner crawled out and voted . Shocker
Now we have Mrs May with her rabbit in the headlights look , when you look at the gene pool she has to pick from for her Ministers its no wonder the country is in such a mess , theyve also realised that the weird and the strange business men who provide their funding expect something in return , hence if your rich you pay virtually no tax . The country is bankrupt not just financially but morally , the endless blatant lies will implode one day . You have to be a damned good liar to get away with it in the internet age.......

By the way which comedian invited The Orange One to visit the Queen on Friday the Thirteenth

Wednesday 2 May 2018

Of Mice and Mayhem

Bleedin mice!!!! last year they nibbled all my sweetcorn this year theyve had my broad beans, went down to the swamp yesterday only to find nibbled beans seeds sat half eaten on the soil surface , absolutely sick, these were seeds i had saved year after year that came from a heritage seed swap , so their not commercially available...AARRGGGHH
Gardening is not going at all well due to the weather and pests , its going to be a case of putting stuff in really late i think , i have to cover everything due to the pigeons then the mice turn up in gangs .

Visit from the caseworker yesterday she rang the DWP to see what on earth is going on with the Carers , they are going to start paying it this month it would seem, but now i have three different date letters , they have already cut ESA because we are getting Carers so were a wee bit skint , the last of my creditors are squealing for there money because it cant take six months to sort out benefits, sunshine it took a year to sort out the horrible mess MR BH ended up in . We are still much better off than last year .  I am also to be summoned for a back to work interview , which i shall enjoy immensely, i want them to explain why I cant go into education because im a carer 
The caseworker was telling us shes been inundated with new customers due to the first of The Universal Credit fiasco in this area , mainly self employed people who have found that its impossible to meet the requirements the DWP require , what a surprise im turning into the local DWP prophet of doom.
Ive had people ask me at the school gates if its right that you might as well give up work if your working part time self employed , its the housing benefit aspect every time . Housing Benefit now has to calculate at 40 hrs of week work, even if you work less hours due to childcare , or zero hours contracts. Where as before you worked 16 hours or more to claim Tax Credits and got Housing Benefit . This will doubtless hit single parents far more then others , thats without the six week gap with nothing to live on while they change to the new system .the change in circumstances clause that chucks you on to Universal Credit at the birth of a child , child turning 16 or 18 , time in hospital more than 2 days etc etc
Sometimes im glad im getting on and wont be around to see this whole shitty system in full flow , im seeing horror stories wherever I turn not just in the press , these are people ive known for years .The Tory party have created an online Workhouse in Universal Credit and nobody cares because it doesnt affect them . So if your voting tomorrow , vote with your heart , theyre the usual bunch of liars cheats and con men , but some marginally give a toss about others ...maybe