Now as many of you realise i' m very grinch like in my view of Xmas, I loathe the whole commercialised season , ive just no interest in it at all , but this year Mr Bah Humbug is excelling himself in being a mardy joy sapper . Not just to me but the whole family , he doesnt want to go out at all and hes turning into my jailer. We havent even been to see the new grandchild because its a "waste of fuel" . Theres "no point in going out " because "I" have no money , meaning me of course .
Now I know hes depressed , hes supposedly getting treatment , they increase his antidepressents every so often , theres nobody for him to go and see because Lincolnshires mental health care has basically collapsed, but hes driving me steadily mad at the moment .
Hes just come in and started going off on one because somebody has moved the red sauce!!! Hes turned into a self obsessed monster the last few weeks , he belittles everything anyone does for him . Im told how useless i am at every turn , then 10 minutes later hes all apologetic and grovelling . Constantly picking on the Munchkin and causing endless rows , this latest phase is proving very hard work . Ive no clue what is going on with him , hes hit a physically quite good phase , hes only needing his crutches when he goes out. his other physical problems problems dont appear to be any worse, the latest pain clinic visit does seem to have improved things a little.
I think ive narrowed it down to his change in pain medication or hes fretting over me not being well , nothing to fret about just the minor niggles of getting older from a female perspective but men can be funny that way . So im stumped , but lifes interesting
Have a hug, I feel your pain. Mine's the same but without the groveling apologies.
ReplyDeletethe groveling apologies usually start after the first time youve walked out and theyre knee deep in shit and find out that "care" doesnt mean slave
DeleteYou have much more patience than me i would have sorted him out by now , I don't think being unwell depressed or in pain is any excuse to make other people miserable . If he can't at least be reasonable he should keep his thoughts to himself .
ReplyDeleteI also feel your pain. It sounds funny but once I had come to the conclusion that every thing that went wrong was my fault and if anything needed doing I had to do it or find someone to do it for me and find the money to pay for it I felt better, it is limited expectations. I suppose. Try not to let it get you down.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Christine P. - I watched this same scenario happening to a friend and it was so difficult to keep my mouth shut (as she requested) and just did all that I could for her.
ReplyDeleteNot to scare you but she too had some "female" health issues which she neglected because his needs and umpteen appointments always came first. Well, she died 11 years ago yesterday and he is still going strong. Social Services got him into a lovely little apt. - he has weekly help, an electric wheelchair - which all of a sudden he can take outside no bother when he wants to go to the Beer Store or to get cigarettes. For years he made her life a misery - please don't let your husband treat you the same way. I know that he is ill and the various meds are probably causing issues but that doesn't give him the right to run roughshod over everyone else and make their lives miserable!
Please take care of yourself - and go and see that grandchild - leave him at home - yes, on his own and enjoy a day out on your own.
its like a crystal ball Margie , if i dropped dead tomorrow they would be chucking support at him
DeleteI feel for you Kaye, it's not easy caring for someone when you're not feeling 100% yourself. How you keep going when all around you is chaotic fills me with admiration. Please look after yourself and take time out for yourself - no other bugger will do it for you!
ReplyDeleteStay strong and take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteGo see the baby without him.
ReplyDeleteI would.
Let him wallow on his own misery for a couple hours.
The little guy deserves to be celebrated, despite grandia's shi**y attitude.
OMG never let any man keep you prisoner!. Get carers in and fly free. You are his wive not his servant nor do you deserve being belittled put down. That is emotional abuse!. Huggs xx Jacq
ReplyDeleteI can offer sympathies but no solution. I can encourage you to put yourself first now and again otherwise you will go under. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteWe only get what we allow!. You allow this demoralizing controlling behaviour!. Why brainwashed you are not worth it? Rubbish control abuse!.
ReplyDeletespent a happy hour looking through these on line , sadly the only local one is for Dementia carers and although very nice that is all they support.
ReplyDeleteOnly just found your blog so don’t know the whole back story. Have you asked social services for a carers assessment? You might not get much but it might be a couple of hours a week where you can get out on your own whilst someone else comes in and stays with him? But you really should go see your lovely grand baby ! Hugs x
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