Sunday 30 November 2014

Furry Sunday

Moral dilemma day , i have a vintage suitcase full of furs , very very vintage ones they were given to me over 20 years ago by an old lady in the village , I dont know much about furs except the ones with the little faces still attached . I dont have a problem with them these were old before i was born , but what the hell do you do with them ? how do you tell if a minks a mink ? Is it safe to sell them on ebay or do you end up getting petrol bombed ?
 So once again i shut the suitcase and plop it back under the bed . I could use the money if they were worth anything but its a requires a bit to much thought ...Answers please folks

Friday 28 November 2014

Poverty & Black Friday

Sometimes being skint is a real pleasure, looking at all the folks scrapping over TVs in the shops was great fun from my point of view, I can honestly say even if I had thousands in the bank I wouldn't have bothered. Sadly Im a total dinosaur when it comes to consumerism, I don't replace anything till it dies, the one exception was my ex husband , I couldnt waste my life any longer waiting for him to pop off. 
Mr Bah Humbug is enjoying his time with the ranks of the unemployable, it's a mystery to us why the whole of Europe and Africa are trying to get here just to get to our wonderful benefits system, because it's so badly organised its a mystery how anyone ever gets paid anything.
Lets start at the beginning
FIrst you go to the government website and fill an application form in , this goes on forever then tells you that you can't make the application and gives you a number to ring, you ring them then spend a day trying to get through because of a system problem, you get through only to be told you must lie on one of the questions on the online form or it will reject the application???
Go back to the online form, lie , get to the end and tick a box saying everything is true and they can prosecute you if it isn't.....they will ring you in the next 3 days
Next morning they ring can you come for an appointment in 30 minutes? No we are on our way to hospital 70 miles away , not good enough , you will be sanctioned, get appointment for 2 days time. 
Attend appointment , they have the wrong name on the application its your fault....errrr no we have printed off copies online, they agree to adjust application. Why are you applying when you should be on sick, not sick , has long term problem but willing to work, argue for the rest of your life till the world has ended and the muppet behind the desk has doubled his brainpower by growing an extra brain cell.  A decision will be made somewhere by someone , they will write to him
This is just week one of our adventure in benefits land!!!!!!

Saturday 22 November 2014

Crafty Chores & Poorly Pussies

Up all night with a poorly pussy , hed been in a major tiff with something and went off his legs yesterday morning , nothing broken just hadnt picked on something his own size , so once he got home i was on toilet watch , his gingerness wont use a cat litter tray he has a favourite bush in the garden he goes under , so having had cat morphine he cant stay out . he finally decided to go at 3am this morning so theres me and a ginger cat out in the garden on a freezing night with a torch , i had to turn the torch off or he wouldnt go , so im talking to the cat trying to get him to do his stuff  and come straight in , he can barely walk and you just knew a neighbour would be staggering home with a skinfull. Think i may have scared him to death , 3am and theres a talking bush?  telling its pussy to hurry up and pee ?

i will snore for twelve hours in your paperwork 

So after 4 hours sleep its do a crafty chore youve been putting off forever , i had a big skein of wool , that i got with my major craft haul in the summer,  knotted to hell lousy wool , but a great red and black gothic colour . 5 bleedin hours of tedious unknotting to get to this , now seeking crafty inspiration or a knitter I dont like

Thursday 20 November 2014

Claremont Sheffield Private Hospital .

Do I feel Guilty at Mr Bah Humbug going to a private Hospital? Not a bit he went on the NHS Choices scheme so it didnt cost anything . Sheffield is a 70 mile trip each way and he had an operation there 2  years ago . Would we recommend the place yes , those who are there on NHS choices seem to get just the same treatment as paying customers the only difference being you dont get a complimentary goodie ...
The place is lovely ,single rooms ,carpet, spotless , its staff just as multiracial as every other hospital in the country , the big difference they all speak the queens english perfectly . The have a new designer reception area which contains the worst vivid yellow monstrosity of a sofa ive ever seen . They even manage to discharge you at the correct time with all your drugs and letters (my pet gripe with the NHS ) the only flaw ive ever found is the limited parking spaces
Anyway thats their bit of advertising for the day , theyre not chucking me a free boob job for the nice things i say about them either .
Mr Bah Humbug is doing well , he says he feels like he can dance ...mmmmm, he never could before ,but he can feel his foot and toes for the first time in 18 months.
Hes done the horrors of signing on for JSA this morning and is now plowing through the job ads , im hoping he finds something fairly quickly but i dont hold much hope out this side of xmas unless he just takes a dog job for the time been , agriculture doesnt take on till the spring and hes only happy with a spanner in his hand , personally i think hes just desperate to get away from the huge chore list i have for him

Sunday 16 November 2014

Winter Sundays

The Sound of chainsaws, fog and the kids whinging theyre cold just cant beat a proper winter sunday . The weekly demoulding of the windows figuring out where i can hang yet more wet washing and of course a Carry On Film . Yesterday we had the horror of a 6 year old party thankfully at some commercial barn in Boston , the trip home a little bit like a trip into John Carpenters The Fog , munchkin was the worst behaved child there as usual and he had all of his equaly vile little counterparts, the plus note, they do a mean squirty cream and flake hot chocolate concoction for those of us who had lost the will to live . His cake was gorgeous and once cut we found it had a multicoloured interior . A very clever lady from Cranwell made it and the whole event was organised by my daughter i just had to attend and cough my way through the proceedings .

Tomorrow we have the joys of getting Mr Bah Humbug signed on as unemployed and applying for housing benefit because we have a sense of humour  . Then Tuesday its off to hospital he will go . a fun packed day at the Claremont in Sheffield , day surgery , you know the one where they pack you off home with serious painkillers for 24 hours then its up to your totally useless GP to look after you ,,weve been there so many times now its like a ritual and he really is the worst patient in the world .
Thanks for all your supportive messages , we will manage we always do , Its just good to know that people are out there . I dont think theres going to be much buying done for a while , i will have to craftily dig out some of the stuff ive got hidden for show and tell

Friday 14 November 2014

Just When You Think Things Cant Get Worse

Well at twelve today i get a text saying Mr Bah Humbug has been made redundant, I did wonder if hed smacked Pudsey Bear in the nose and been escorted off the premises, but no
It does seem a bit of a coincidence that theyve made him redundant 2 days before hes due to go off sick for more spinal treatment,  meanwhile ive booked a week off to play nurse and with a zero hours contract i get paid nada , so interesting times yet again at the house of nettle knickers.
He will get job seekers eventually, but it will take several weeks and my hours are so irregular that we are in deep doo doo yet again .
On a plus note this may be the point where it spurs the boys into employment, more to get away from the ogre on the sofa and his version of job club , than their  actual motivation to work , he does tend to get them up at 6am and provide endless chores for them.
plus point 2 , i will never have to smell the lousy chemicals hes been working with the last 18 months , no amount of washing ever got rid of it .
plus point 3 i get my tea cooked, hes a good if messy cook .
We will manage we did last time , he was made redundant from his last job  weeks after surgery 3 years ago   and he was out of work for a year .
He could have done with a couple of steady months before he goes back to the heavy nature of his last job , but to be truthful i think its time he looked at something a little less heavy .
We were expecting him to be off for some time so weve allowed for that , the food cupboards are bursting and i really do stockpile when we have the money , plus if it comes to the push i will go back to work fulltime and im not picky what i do

Thursday 13 November 2014

Its Beginning To Look a Lot Like Xmas

Im baaaaaaaaack . thanks to the hacking cough dropping off im back in the land of the almost living , today the munchkin is 6 and what else do you get for the child who has everything and spotted these the other day , you think,
sod paying the council tax, lets buy the grandbairn a super duper commercialised elf , its going to share his bedroom im informed . The party from hell is at the weekend .

Meanwhile just to annoy Mr Bah Humbug whos first festive rant took place on the 11th Nov at 4.30pm and involved a xmas Tv advert and his favourite smug person Mr Jules Holland , weve all been taking bets what would set him off this year !!! , i found a vintage Santa tablecloth, he may choke on his turkey when he sees this on xmas day . But that means theres more for the rest of us so i can live with that . 

Plus in the realms of Why the hell did i buy it , my excuse is they were cheap , but when i looked they have little resale value so i guess these will be guesting for a while .

Ive gained a reader from The British Indian Ocean Territory , a place so obscure i had to look it up on Wikipedia , uninhabited islands with a military base in the middle of nowhere, hello chuck we dont bite 

Tuesday 11 November 2014


The sheer joy of the first snotathon of the winter , wallowing in a sea of self pity while at my venomous best. This is not a good time to ask your mother where you're washing is, what's for your packup or if there's anything good for tea. The best I can offer is a fetching Kleenex casserole , so go and nuke some thing or head for the kebab shop or starve. I've gone deaf so it's safe to talk about me behind my back or even in front of me .  Normal service will be resumed once I re enter the realms of the living , I currently resemble an extra from the Walking Dead and if I go missing it's because the washing yurt has toppled on me.....Whisky and Lemsip donations gladly accepted

Friday 7 November 2014

Crystal Tips

Admit it who remembers Crystal Tips and Alistair , world renowned quality kids program from the 70s . I so wanted her hair at the time

Now this is not leading into a ramble about vintage kids TV , this is leading into a crystal ramble theres a sale tomorrow
 Its my weekend off , this is local and i have no reason at all to buy crystal other than its gorgeous . I may pop along just to laugh at the prices and kill a couple of damp hours away from the kids .

 I really cant think of a single reason why I would be drawn to cherub lights, but i am,

                                            think a nice virulent coloured cherub!!!

Thursday 6 November 2014

Novelty Fat Bird Rant

Today i have a complaint ...dont worry its not contagious . Ive been trying to find a winter coat in the Charity Shops , please bear in mind ive been searching all summer and things are getting desperate . I was reduced to looking on line which was even more depressing £75+ for anything , now i know they have to use twice as much fabric to make fat bird clothing but i do think they take the p***.
Im out in all weathers so i thought try some of the outdoor shops , Go Outdoors dont do anything over a size 16 , so if your fat you dont go outside or take any exercise? the assistant said most people just wear the mens ones . they were an awe inspiring collection of drab browns and blues plus im afraid i dont have the arms of an orangutang but the build is pretty similar . I guess im just not a conventional size .
Now i havent got fat with kids and age , i was a fat child who grew up into a fat adult and i can remember being the only fat child in the school , now that novelty has gone the whole world has got fat , so why are you limited to a couple of shops on the high street that make you think that a burka is a good option . Theres a lot of hideously expensive choice on line , but im afraid my budget doesnt run to a few statement pieces . Vintage and Retro in large sizes is virtually unknown in the depths of lincolnshire .
Im not about to get skinny as an act of defiance , my idea is for the pall bearers to give them self hernias or they may need to get a forklift into the crematorium .

Now im even more irate , i put fat bird into google images to steal a pic and what do i get hoards of fat budgies !!! Are fat birds that disgusting that weve been bleedin censored by google!!!!

Tuesday 4 November 2014

Welcome to Winter

Got up this morning to thick fog and bitter cold, so ive been rooting out my winter essentials , my USB heated gloves , my microwave slippers and of course my hijab , we can moan about the muslims taking over but the best article of clothing theyve bought into the UK is the black cotton hijab , great for pottering round an unheated house and for scaring the postman to death one of these days i shall wear one to take the munchkin to school , they tuck into the neck of your jumper a treat , plus they dont make you itch like so many winter woolies do .
While rooting for these items i went into the bottom drawer where you put things to forget and i had forgot all these items , can you believe i own a Bay City Rollers flexi disc? one upon a time most of these items were ebayed now they just languish forgotten in the bottom of drawers . I must have hundreds of vintage postcards kicking around , mainly from the 60s and 70s , cds that those of us who dont have more modern technology keep for old times sake , ancient plastic zoo and farm animals , AA vehicle badge property of Mr Bah Humbug , not sure how it ended up in my bottom drawer ?vintage bead trim in a little bark box, Guinness sport commentator , care bear badge ...its endless
So yes its pack rat day , im off to create something in the slow cooker with out of date mince from the Coop , get on with my mending and indulge in a little domestic servitude then stuff everything in the bottom drawer and forget about it again . My kids are going to need a bleedin big skip when im gone

Monday 3 November 2014


Ive decided what is wrong with my life , theres just to much choice in it . Ive lost the will to shop at some stage just because i cant cope with all the choices offered . im glad in some way that finances mean that my choices are more limited than most especially in the supermarkets . Maybe thats why  Lidl & Aldi do so well, you want a tin of beans there is a tin of beans , not 40 variety's , yes i am that sad that i once counted them in Sainsburys .
Xmas is on its way and the herds of delivery vans are calling , we live in a small cluster of 14 houses and in an average day theres about   2 deliveries an hour . give it another month and I dread to think . The munchkin has produced an endless list of xmas requirements and im informed he has been brought a tablet computer ...hes 6!!!!  My daughter informs me its because everyone else has one and he will be left behind . My thoughts on the matter , shouldnt he be concentrating on the 3Rs at that age ? plus i give it till Boxing day till its confiscated or broken . Im debating making him some onesie monsters from his outgrowns and buying him a shovel to dig holes with  , despite being told what i should get him .
At 6 hes drowning in a see of choices and nobody sees thats his problem , the endless arguments about what he wants for his tea what he wants to wear , what hes seen advertised on the TV . If he had no choices he would be so much happier , but then im only granny what do i know?
Hopefully my camera lead will appear eventually then i can get some ebay listing done and stop dwelling on the stuff i cant change

*update from daughter: it is not a tablet computer, its a learning tablet, an upgrade from his much loved outgrown 'my first laptop'.

Saturday 1 November 2014

Fabrically Challenged

Yesterday in the glorious sunshine i got to go to the seaside , bonny Sutton on Sea , a tiny seaside without loads of arcades , a couple of reasonable charity shops and a maze of a second shop . Didnt buy a thing . lol just enjoyed pottering about like a little old lady tourist .
My lunch hour was a little more productive.
Alford little market town on the way to the coast , 4 charity shops lots of antique and junk shops , havent seen a single nice xmas item yet , managed to pry myself away from a huge bag of black lace , that i will now discover i need , then popped into a new second hand emporium that has sprung up in the former ink cartridge shop , quite reasonably priced the usual antique items but they also had a few nice retro bits , including a pile of 70s fabric that leapt into my hands , a yard or so of vintage brown sanderson.

 And just what you need Vix yet more floaty nylon being as your having a bit of a phase with the sewing machine   send me an email and you can have it .

Also picked up what i thought was a nice big bit of pink cotton for the never ending pink quilt im hand stitching, from one of the charity shops  , it was sealed in a plastic bag and when i got it home its meters of stretchy fleece backed fabric, enough to make skinny bird pyjama bottoms out of , which works out well as i had to rag bag most of mine due to old age and disintergration, its a bit pink but i can live with that  ...Total spend for the day a whole £1.50 !!!