Tuesday, 27 September 2022

mummy

 So im the lowest of the low at the moment , Mummy dearest decided to not open the curtains Saturday morning and the neighbour who keeps an eye on her , thought this is it , went across with her spare key and found the doors locked with the key on the inside . after hammering and screaming through the letterbox she heard a little im coming and my mother answered the door in her nightie . But the point is she was very confused and out of it so she rang me while mother was getting dressed , it transpires her carers havent been for days though i rang Thursday and she hung up on me because she said her carers had arrived ?  There was no fresh food in the house and being blind she had been eating green mouldy bread buns , the carers do her shopping for her.  when the neighbour checked she hadnt had any pills since Tuesday , i asked the neighbour to ring for an ambulance but she insisted i ring 111 which i did and then had to explain im over 100 miles away , this meant they couldnt access anything because we are living in a different region , so this turned into a right circus . but finally they got a nice little indian lady to ring my mother it was  decided after this conversation to request an ambulance  so the neighbour stayed with her she was still very confused and looked like death so im told theyd got her sat in front of the telly with a pile of blankets because mother had turned off the heating and was freezing , fed her  pills and given her tea laced with sugar as instructed it took 6 hours for the ambulance to get their it got to the top of the road then had to leave again once . but they checked her and she needed to go in because her heartbeat was allover . Then they sort of  kidnapped her , she sat in an ambulance till she got a bed Monday morning and we couldnt find anything out before other than she was in ambulance triage.  Then the fun begins they rang yesterday and because she hadnt had a fall they wanted to send her home !! Not a chance , nobody not even the hospital has been able to get in touch with the care company involved , i cant leave himself and her neighbour cant be there all the time , so no they will have to involve Social Services . I then at 9 oclock last night get an irate staff nurse on the phone trying to shame me into picking her up because they need the bed , shes mobile and wandering round BUT if shes not taking her medication or able to shop and eat unsupervised and wont put the heating on because shes listening to GB news all day telling her shes poor , its not safe for her to be home alone .  They even said that if they put her in a taxi they cant stop her leaving , she hasnt  got any house keys so she cant get in i pointed out, i was getting very annoyed by that stage .  i did point out to the nurse , that maybe she had a loving kind mother but sadly the little old lady sat in that bed is a bleedin manipulative monster , but she could be stuck here for weeks was the reply .  GOOD so now Social Services can sort this bleedin mess out and put a proper care plan in place . This is a conspiracy by myself the neighbour and other family members to make the evil old bag pay for her care and not treat everyone like unpaid servants in her aim to have a gold plated coffin . So im now officially a granny dumper ...The END not that in my wildest imagination it will be  

Friday, 23 September 2022

Busy

 Out here in the real world ive been busy thats why ive been up since 4am prepping veg for the freezer , not because im that busy but because i got up to let out a howling aged cat then i thought i will just have a cuppa then i thought id just catch up on blog reading , then i spotted the two on the turn peppers , last night i popped on stew from all the fridge gravel , himself asked what meat it was and i informed him its his favourite mystery meat, actually its a bag of frozen stock from a pork joint that we had back in the spring and my collection of chop bones ive being saving , but what he doesnt know wont hurt him and the bones will come out before serving.  did another food shop at the community pantry im aiming for once a fortnight and this weeks yield was better than the last . tesco reject celery , it was a bit muddy but guess what you can wash it!!! lots of peppers, two cabbages, huge heads of garlic ,various ugly veg that i have no problem with. plus free cooking apples if you needed them .  the lady on the till did ask why i take tinned potatoes instead of fresh , i explained i was still getting them from the garden that the tinned ones are excellent in stew once the fresh veg dries up in winter, if i fill the slow cooker right up it lasts 3 days , dumplings the first night , garlic toast the second and just bread on the third . I did laugh when Useful son said his pregnant girlfriend has no idea how to cook ,bless him he is quite a useful cook so thats another reason they might make a go of it in these hard times . I think its just the fact she comes from a very large family and managed to avoid learning  lol . Also i think ive found another good thing about the community pantry it was worth joining just for the cheeses, this week it was wensleydale with rhubarb others were picking it up and looking in horror , i was licking the packet , half for dinner on salad and half in the freezer , last week it was mozzarellas. freezer cheese is great for cooking.  So the poverty diet plan is in full swing to enable us to afford lights on this winter , its cheap its healthy and theres lots of it  

Wednesday, 14 September 2022

Queenie

 So the Elizabethan era is over , i may as well admit im not a royalist but what a spectacular life she has lived , from a future of living in a farmhouse as a small child with her sister and lots of dogs and horses . To ending up the heir to the throne by default , due to her Uncles abdication on rather salacious grounds for the times. Then we chucked a war at her and she served her country rather well spanner in hand like so many girls of the times , met a dashing naval officer shed had her eye on since she was a kid and lived happy ever after , thy spent endless years on tour to the backends of nowhere visiting the rapidly deflating Empire , Philip making her smile all the way , acid wit being his well known specialty . 4 kids later still on tour back in the days when people queued  for hours to see them , they were influencers before they were even invented .  

Lets talk about the kids ..err Charlie our once and future king , not much good at marriage , too used to getting his own way , climate hypocrite , how many trees does he have to plant to carbon offset his jetting round to eco conferences? Andrew cant say nothing good so saying nothing . Edward dragged out of some backwater closet to do the job they had lined up for Harry and Anne absolutely distraught by her mums death being dragged around the country as a public grief martyr.

Its the whole public spectacle of it that i object to , im sure the queen would have been more than happy to be interred with Phillip driven there on the landrover he loved surrounded by her loving family allowing  them to privately grieve.

Please dont get me on the subject of how we have all watched her wither away since Philip went, thats the cruelist part of all . 
Or maybe thats the fact they dragged her of her deathbed filled her up with drugs and got her to shake hands with Liz Truss in the name of duty .

Saturday, 10 September 2022

Good At It

My first visit  to the Community Grocery in Sleaford , i managed to scrounge a lift with my daughter who insisted in having a look with  me . Its bright cheerful and the staff are great. They explained the system where you get 5 tinned items, 5 veg items  then apologized because Friday is the busiest day so stocks were low and a freezer item and a chiller item with two treats as extras was rather good value , i ended up with  A pack of walls microwave sausages that will be thrown into sausage sandwiches , they also had great big packets of Richmond sausages and 4 pint cartons of milk frozen .i got  a pack of feta cheese , huge tin of potatoes , tin of minced beef in gravy jar of lemon curd   6 pack of chipsticks  plus a huge pack of digestives  , my treats were two sachets of posh cat food for old cat . The veg front was really good ,  bag of carrots for stew , 3 sweet potatoes , giant cabbage , bag of onions and a pack of chestnut mushrooms .  So for the 6 pound charge i think i did well . i could have done better with different choices but we have no need of huge bags of cooking apples and pears at the moment or potatoes you could even get 5 pot noodles if you dont cook or are living in a tent up the rec ground . My daughter was horrified lol ...how the more well off live .  we live within our means , we have no possibility of our income going up so every little saving helps at the moment. I noticed most of the customers were my age and older says a lot about the value of pensions i think.

While in Sleaford i wandered into iceland not much i could afford but i was searching for Easy wash powder and they actually had some . Daughter however was laden up having found they had a sale freezer which had the summer barbecue packs in for 2.79  half priced so she got a couple one had to go in my freezer because theres no room at her house . i do think my daughter shops well but the problem is shes shopping cheaply through choice not because shes forced to shop that way .  

Its all a bit catch 22 on the shopping front , shopping online is costly most of it doesnt show up , but im struggling to carry stuff . Theres things that are having to drop off the shopping list because they are so unaffordable whether himself likes it or not .  he was looking at my sweet potato mountain the other day with bafflement , they are cheap at the moment so im stocking up, they are practicaly immortal and will keep for ages , the potato harvest is miserable so its a good healthy substitute . All i have in the garden at the moment is potatoes kale leeks and mountains of beetroot  if the weather holds i will have broad beans and bush beans  yet again , spring onions and lettuces and the tomatoes are late but thriving   

Tuesday, 6 September 2022

Potter On

 Oh be joyful Useful Son has found another flat near his job , but he has one day to move into the new one and it has a terrible access yet again and electric heating . just like his old one but he will have the luxury of double glazing and floors that are flat and solid , no holes in the roof  etc etc . On the heating front hes not bothered he works two jobs and the heating in his old flat never worked  anyway . All he uses his flat for is to sleep and shower.  So thats this weekends chore with thankfully loads of help from daughter and family , get him moved AARRGGHHHH . We have to take his hamster because hes not allowed pets so we have got off lightly till the cats get it . 

Just to make life fun ive had a tiny shingles flare , only a tiddly patch on a rib that feels as though ive had a good kicking and the usual ache allover self pity . No covid connection this time as far as i know. only 11 years till i can have the jab .

In the real world i have signed up to the nearest Community Pantry its 5 pounds for the year and 6 pounds for a load of groceries , because of the distance its not viable for the twice a week i can use it, but once a month should be of help for veg & bread etc    https://www.lincolnshireworld.com/business/consumer/community-grocery-store-opens-in-sleaford-3764438

 im looking at any possible savings i can make at the moment , we are playing oil chicken at the moment trying to save enough to get oil for the winter at a price we can afford so its watch the daily rates for drops . on the food front we are pretty well stocked and we do have the advantages of access to the Moy Park factory shop for none organic dirt cheap chicken plus the good old tin factory 

https://www.facebook.com/people/Derek-Meeds-Foods/100057522426568/

24 tins of Branston beans delabelled with 2024 date 4.80 at the little portakabin in the middle of  nowhere , they also have a good selection of catering sized stuffs and they do deliver locally .


Tuesday, 30 August 2022

Women

 I was talking to my mother the other day and she went off on a whole rant about the past about her never wanting children etc etc . Then she got on about a bit of history id never really thought about, the arrival of the pill just after i was born in the 60s . My mother being a married nurse went to her GP to ask about it and was told she must attend with her husband to discuss this and that he would have to sign to give his permission and that it would be very unlikely that he would agree because she had only given him a daughter. She achieved him going and signing by simply refusing him sex until he agreed.

Times moved on and i went to the GP with glandular fever as a teen and came out with the contraceptive pill because i had a tiny love bite aka hickey , i wasnt doing anything sexual but our GP wanted the world on the pill before you did .

These days its order your abortion pills online , much like ordering flea treatment for a dog . So where do we go next ?    

Wednesday, 24 August 2022

Sanity

 
Thankyou all who commented on the last post thats what i like to see a worldwide response of our thoughts on the food situation .  Just been reading on another forum how so many are suffering mentally , i will admit that ive cried in a few carparks of late just on the subject of idiotic trivialities that normally wouldnt bother me at all but winter is coming and i get like thaat every year just a little earlier than usual this time , but for most its just been a shitty year fuelled by our idiot media . We wont all starve but things could be a little interesting so dont forget to fund your local foodbank if you possibly can , scurvy and rickets are on the rise nationally something for the government to be proud of im sure , the wee starvelings will fit up the chimneys easier im sure Rees Mogg will find it uplifting as his vast brood continues to grow.  I saw some gurning idiot politician moaning that the birth rate is dropping like a stone , really? would you want to be starting a family in these circumstances , Next we will have some non racist member of the government moaning that all the kids that are being born are called Mohammed, Lifes just predictably crap for most , with nothing offering hope on the horizon . The scariest thing ive seen is Iceland offering credit to buy food a few other retailers are doing the same . Oddly i had a really strange You Gov poll asking if i would want the government to offer cost of living loans , no thanks that could turn into a nightmare with them haunting you into the grave , though i suspect it will be portrayed as just for a couple of years while the world gets over Covid . 

On a really pigged off note i had a visit from Anglian Water Revenue Protection team today to see why we are using so little water , they wanted to inspect the meters to see if we have tampered with them as we caant possibly be using so little . They fitted new ones 3 weeks ago which i thought was strange when they had only been in a year , i had to explain that we use little water because i know we cant afford to use it . its strip wash and a weekly shower here and i have the best eco water usage washer i could get to cope with himselfs mess .we havent washed the cars this year and grey water is used for the garden so no we dont use a lot of water , im sorry if living within my means is such a problem ..AAARRGGHHH im spitting nails over this 

Wednesday, 17 August 2022

What If

 Shopping is becoming more of a chore than usual even with my giant munchkin to carry stuff  lol. He eats us out of house and home when hes here , hes at the constantly growing hungry all the time phase of teenage life . So how do you cope with the hunger monster ? cheap cereals hes eaten endless bowls of cheap rice crispies , hes disgusted that they arent posh ones and i dont care . He trebles our milk consumption problematic because it never comes on the home delivery and he wont be here when i have to restock , ive noticed i had to buy sugar  hes the only one who uses it . Popcorn ive been cleared out , note to self must order kernels as this is a great fill the kids up food . We had a whole argument over pop or soda  , no he cant have the branded stuff i just cant afford it .  You get a whole case of :Lidl coke for the price  of a single bottle of Pepsi .

Now the great what if is how we get through the winter especially if your on a fixed income . ive seen all the stunningly na├»ve advice on line , shop cheaper brands , what if your already shopping basic brands anyway .  Yes theres affordable food but the quality of some of it is appalling . Weird food fact , whats happened to Primula cheese in a tube? my little luxury for a whole pound , you cant get it out of the tube its so thick and it doesnt melt on your toast anymore , theres also bugger all but air in the tube these days , Crossed off the shopping list forever im afraid . Trying to find cheap cheese to cook with  is proving impossible the big supermarket blocks have no taste at all when cooked , i had a whole cheese drawer in the freezer all yellow sticker weird stuff but its dwindling away and theres nothing to replace it within my price range . Forced veganism , all the yellow sticker stuff i come across these days are vegan offerings , so long as it comes in burger form himself doesnt object so long as it comes with a couple of strips of bacon he doesnt even notice . when you read the labelling it can be a tad scary sugared and salted to death sums most processed vegan food up . i did read the other day that there is only 2% vegans in the population so why is their so much vegan food in the supermarkets ?  nobody appears to be buying it, vegetarians are ever growing mainly because people realise they dont need meat as part of their budget. Crops are rubbish everywhere this year and a couple of days rain is a huge help but a lot of stuff is beyond help im going to try and get some potatoes up now a fork will go into the ground but i would think they are tiny , still on an onion hunt im afraid so i may chuck some onion seed in while i remember.

The next question is what are you noticing on the food front ?

    

Monday, 15 August 2022

Waiting

 So thats all the curtains shut for the day , woke up to fog again this morning , yet more plums picked for the freezer the top of the tree has a swarm of bluetits pecking away , who knew that was a thing or is it just the weather conditions? i was however forced to quality check a few of the plums for breakfast and the one great think about the weather very few wasps this year . I have bought a single item for 1.32 at auction this week a nice singer hand machine , i need to pick up . And the carboot yesterday yielded a giant spider plant and a planter to put it in . This was incorporated with a skip run for fuel economy . There are frequent local complaints that you have to queue for hours for the skip but if your there 10 minutes before opening its straight in and out . I even called in at the chicken factory on the way home 18 plain chicken drumsticks for one pound  that was tea for everyone and a pile in the fridge , plus a couple of the stuffed breast roll things in a foil tray at 2 quid a time , nearly witnessed a fight as a woman who obviously has a cafe and already had a trolley full proceeded to jump on a cage of southern fried breasts they had just fetched in , she wanted all of them theye were full boxes at 2.50 each maybe 50 boxes in the cage 100s of chicken portions . Several customers had a right go at her for her greed ...Ho hum not something i would want but i could see their point . 

You can see that people are becoming more and more worried on the food front , the empty supermarkets are getting more obvious , its not that there is no food just that theres not much choice of food at the moment and winter may well bring its own problems , im hoping the promise of thunderstorms will play out then i can chip some potatoes out of the ground not that they are very big due to the drought but better then nothing , still planting bits and bobs you never know if you will get a second crop but always worth a try 


Friday, 12 August 2022

Zombie

 Ive got that record in my head at the moment ...Zombie Zombie Zombeeeeee not a clue where it has popped from just the vagaries of changed medication , being able to go out is so weird theres nowhere to go and no fuel to afford it but hey i could go out...lol 

Im baffled that i managed to spend 103 quid in Heron yesterday , admittedly ive bought lots of freezer filler crap for himself and i did have the munchkin in tow to carry stuff , but i still need yet more shopping to top up my bulk stuff once the weather breaks. Im hoping hes still here for my next onslaught on the shopping front , if we are gaining another adult i need to upgrade my food storage levels . i did get some giant oranges from Heron and after peeling two found they are rotten in the middle so once again another complaint to lodge .  They do at the moment have some good offers on , huge bags of vegan sausage rolls curry pies and now peppered steak  pies for a whole 2 quid a bag, excellent for piling a plate with garden veg and chucking a pie on later in the year they are all vegan but nobody spotted this fact when i did a trial selection the other night and im not going to tell them .  Things i need to look out for at the moment. nets of both red and cooking onions something i dont grow because they take up space and are usually dirt cheap , this year however they are scarce and very small due to the drought .  Must also hunt for cheap camping stove gas cylinders , always handy if the electric is off . 

 im in the dog house with the neighbors yet again for trimming hedges at 7am couldnt care less they were staggering about singing pissed last night at gone midnight . We even had a miracle yesterday the council turned up to replace the porch door ,they have been waiting since may for a door delivery so we have had a 3 inch gap with the mice running in and out all this time . Not that the cats have minded its been like Deliveroo for them , ive popped a load of traps down to try and resolve the problem before winter .

Todays project is to Dylon a load of bits of white wool i found among my mountain of craft stuff , not sure how it will turn out but i will give it a go just for giggles. Himself will spend the day moaning about how hot he is , how ill he feels with the heat etc etc etc . I do love him but there are times ...lol

Monday, 8 August 2022

Mildly Ranting

 So heres one for thought once the heat dries up do you chuck all the half bags of flour and yeast etc and replace for the winter . Its not something i carry huge doomesday prepper stocks of i dont vacuum seal it or keep it in the freezer in plastic . So in my case the answer is yes because even though i dont take a blind bit of notice of use by dates it can go sour with the heat weve been having.

For the last couple of weeks we havnt been able to make a online order with Morrisons due to over half of what we needed being out of stock . Tescos it was then , not a bad effort all but one item turned up , the oranges are all squashed  but i didnt notice at the time otherwise i would have sent them back . there delivery was also a bit cheaper only by  couple of quid but every little helps . We are going to become increasingly reliant on home delivery but we can only afford to order once a month theres no access to fresh fruit and veg if we dont travel , theres a bit of garden fruit and veg till the winter , but that means we will be reliant on cheap frozen veg , fruit wise theres not much i can get i cant have seeds at all . Himself is so bloody picky sometimes its unreal .  nearly all the delivery services dont cover our postcodes and to be honest we couldnt afford to use them anyway . Sometimes i get banana cravings ...lol im becoming more dietary restricted over time but the latest pills seem to be a huge improvement so im cautiously trying stuff ive not eaten for years . Cant wait to see what this winter brings food wise i suspect it may be interesting   

Thursday, 4 August 2022

Life and Stuff Like That

Im currently bored out of my brain , we have barely had a single visitor this summer , im sure fuel costs have much to do with this . We dont go anywhere unless its medically related then i have to try and cram whatever else needs to be done into the same days. Ive even started the autumn tree pruning being as the heat has pretty much killed everything off the only thing going mad is the beetroot and a few bush beans i found going spare in an aged packet , the tomatoes look as if they will all come ready at once , ive plums dropping off the tree that i cant climb up...lol , the apples are tiny this year but theres loads , gardens its just strange from year to year .  I wish  we could tap into the gutterings but theyre cast iron so no chance . Just sowed a load of broad beans into pots depending on the weather it will either be a late crop in october or loads in the spring who knows . Im sure with all the climate change predictions we should have a mild winter but you just know that the weather predictions are always wrong and it could well be an arctic winter in which case people will die in their own homes . There seems to be very little light on the horizon not a thing to look forward to . Ho Hum im leaning more towards murdering himself and going to prison where my warmth and food wont be something for constant worry  

Thursday, 28 July 2022

Brain Fried

 Its just me im sure . Useful son , whos been in his flat a few years has a new landlord whos informed him he needs to get out because he can get 500 quid a month with a new tenant for a his dilapidated flat with one bedroom in a listed building with no fire exit ...AAARRGGHH ...he goes back to work in a week and usually works for the old landlord to clear any arrears but his old landlord sold the building because it needs so much work to bring it up to code . Its a total clusterfuck the councils telling him the landlord cant do this as hes a sitting tenant and will be making himself intentionally homeless if he leaves  . But the blokes saying hes changing the locks and can take his stuff or end up with nothing hes already intimerdated the other tenant out of the next door flat .  He needs legal advice badly but he just thinks he can move here at a push and the council would agree because we have a spare bedroom the size of a broom closet , the trouble is his job is 15 miles away and he doesnt drive which would mean we have to take him to work and back twice a day or should i say i would be expected to . Living out in the middle of nowhere this would be interesting in bad weather . Just to make matters even more fun hes just found out his girlfriend is pregnant . Not a clue what to do about any of this and nobodies interested in my opinion about any of it anyway . I just want to pack a bag and run 

Friday, 22 July 2022

Mornin

 Well im still getting over the wild partying for my birthday LOL . I was officially 59 the other day and i was amazed i got 3 cards !! much appreciated , i may add . My daughter turned up and we ventured to Boston for a look round the vast array of charity shops . we had parked himself by crutch power on the war memorial steps so he could watch the world go by under the huge trees with a large drink and then abandoned him to his fate , he was quite chuffed he kept getting little old ladies come to chat with him . I managed to find a top, a couple of obscure books that are local history related and interesting to me and a half dozen dolly knitting patterns from the 50s . Which is more than ive found in months on my travels . Then in the afternoon it was a trip to the Kinema in the woods to watch Elvis , daughter was horrified it was in the tiny cinema and it was only half full with us wrinklies , shes no Elvis fan either, but it was a really good film and she enjoyed it as well . So a really good birthday and in bed for 10 . 

But it also made me decide that the Kinema with its air con is the best place to be in a heatwave and can anyone answer the question why do my hands drip sweat when nowhere else does once it gets to 40 degrees ?

Thursday, 14 July 2022

Victor

 Now ive been a tad Victor Meldrew of late , mainly thanks to my useless GPs , calling them useless is being polite , but of late all i ever get is locums on the phone , other half gets the usual doctor on the phone im sure they are operating a two tier system , those who they have nearly killed or who have reported them get a fairly reasonable level . The rest of us go from locum to locum . having gone for blood tests the other day only to find that i was only there for diabetes and liver when i was supposedly due for loads more , gets the call from the receptionist the doctor needs to speak to me urgently . so urgently i must message her on ask GP . Great fine go online and its closed for the day, 2 days later i ask about my test results no reply for another 2 day finally get a phone call . Which starts with the bleedin locum

You are not taking your medication these figures are through the roof 

Oh yes i am theyre no bleedin use if theyre passing through in under two hours

you are not taking them please dont lie

i have malabsorption issues that worsen in hot weather of course they are not working read my notes 

there are no notes

Exactly !!!

well you need to increase your exercise levels immensely 

excuse me last time we spoke you told me i musnt go outside  due to the other medication , you remember the ones that say no sunlight that you prescribed!! So would you like me to just run up and down stairs in this heat ?

i will prescribe something else get your bloods done in 3 months and she hung up 

Other half pointed out i was getting a bit irate and as you may have guessed  im still going outside , dread to think what tablets shes left for me, probably tranquilizers 

Sunday, 10 July 2022

Tourism

Now the main source of income other than farming here is milking tourists so this weekend has been the 1940s weekend in the next big village , glorious weather for it , spitfires dog fighting overhead  the Lancaster backwards and forwards umpteen times and thousands of extra tourists . Due to the road closures we can only travel in one direction , so its stay home and ignore it weekend . Friday they were setting up and we had to trail an armoured vehicle to the doctors which was little odd only to find vintage cars filling the carpark , they were only turning round to try and find the campsite they were staying on but still very strange. Theres a huge amount of work put into this by all and sundry , which is fair enough . Not something that appeals to me , to many crowds so i would imagine in the next couple of weeks we will be the Covid capital of the area , so now the heats here its up for 5 to get all the jobs done then cabbage all afternoon till it cools down then back out watering everything . i save waste water as i cant afford to up my consumption due to lack of funds , im trying to persuade himself to let me tap into the washer outlet so i can water all the veg at the back of the house and i have thought of putting a large plastic bowl under the shower as well but nobody wants to cooperate ...ho hum i will keep nagging 


Thursday, 7 July 2022

Crystal Ball

 So I get my crystal ball out dust it off and look at predictions for later in the year ....

Come October the artist formally known as PM is still taking the piss , hes now claiming he cant leave because CarrieAntoinette is heavily pregnant and you cant move a pregnant woman , someone has pointed out that hes using the law for the traveller community that he was planning to abolish, this may also be the longest pregnancy in the history of mankind. Nadine Dorres has volunteered to be a surrogate , getting the cobwebs off her uterus at her age should be fun . 

Meanwhile Larry The Cat has delayed the party he had planned to celebrate the pissy rat Dylan the dog leaving and has decided to sling his name in the hat for leader . Priti Patel is still in the Home Office she wanted to be leader but they all hate her so its better to leave her making millions of plebs take a plane trip to Rwanda . Gove is off to the Priory and hes taking holy orders because making it to bishop is the only way he will get into The Lords  

On another thought 
Putin is still alive and planning to invade us to prop up Boris because hes his number 1 fan . just kidding honest 

Saturday, 2 July 2022

Mummy Wars

 Oh Dear my mother seems to have declared war on The System , she tells me that Social Services are trying to get in touch with me , to insist that i must get Power of Attorney so they can access her bank accounts to make her pay for Care . They have told her she must pay 226 a month for an hours carer visit per week to take her shopping and shes told them bollocks . Her home doctor visit that they arranged didnt go well they didnt get the result they wanted . The doctor told her shes declining physically which is quite normal for her age and shes perfectly fine mentally just functionally blind at the moment . I think they rather hoped they could cart her off into care rapidly to stop her being a problem child .  The Blind Society have been out to see her and given her a white stick and loads of bright stickers to put on her cooker and microwave they also recommend over 400 pounds of adaptions she needs to pay for i gather it ended badly ...lol 

She has informed me that shes well aware it will all end badly , that most of the remains of the family will blame me, But she intends to go out marvelously drunk as a skunk in her own home as the off licence still does home delivery  and bollocks to the lot of them...Ive told her to be careful she doesnt have a fall pissed as they will scoop her up and thats it into drooly towers she will be sent never to escape .  I really do think that Social Services havent a clue what they are dealing with  

Sunday, 26 June 2022

Highlights

 Excellent Jumble Sale yesterday , got a whole summer wardrobe a bag full of books and two pizza bowls  for the grand total of 3.50  , so that brightened my mood , daughter and grandson turned up and despite her grumping she ended up with a bagful as well . I think i was the only mask wearer there , despite Covid slaughtering the village where i live thanks to the maskless Jubilee celebrations...lol , just common sense to me when your elbow deep in a scrum over used clothing . Got it all home and found that two of the tops were still tagged and unworn, out of a bagful only one item didnt fit so went in the charity bag and one other needs a stitch to a seam split ,

Just to annoy himself i toddled off to the car boot this morning nice and early only to find just before i reached it a car upside down blocking the road the local hobby firemen had just arrived and a solitary community hobby bobby scratching his head , the folks were standing in the road shaken and having a fag , cant think why anybody local would have an accident there unless they nearly scored a deer or somebody on the wrong side of the road and had to take avoidance tactics , bit odd really but it did mean i had to an extra 16 miles round just to get where i needed to be , comment from himself because i took so long ...well thats you grounded for the week for wasting fuel , you should have come straight home...ha ha ...he will be sorry for that one .  All i got from the car boot was a box of plants just because i always need more plants.  Strange thought of the week , will we ever be able to afford meat of the size to need the huge gorgeous meat plates you see at every car boot ?  

Wednesday, 22 June 2022

the truth is Out Their ...somewhere

 Well todays scare the buggers.com  are throwing Polio in the sewers of London . along with new scarier covid and monkeypox . How do you know what to believe ? theres so little truth out there  thats its drowning in a sea of rubbish . Every where you look its the wonders of the Royals , lying scum from our government , back to the 70s . Cant we just have a nice mainly normal summer ? where you get a bit crispy , say never again and do the same next year ? 

My neighbours have obviously decided to just sit in the front gardens and get hammered every evening , the clank of the bottles going in the recycling sounds worse than a pub , then they get up in the morning as crabby as their arses swearing and shouting at the kids as they drive them to school . I still cant figure out why no one in this village will walk their kids to school its a mile and a half away I miss doing it , instead of going to the gym just walk a bit more. 

My neighbour keeps dropping big hints about cutting her huge front hedge , sadly its not happening shes only a year older than me and has just retired , pay the lads or get a gardener , or maybe just get the exercise and do it herself she has a toyboy whats the problem with him doing it?

Right im afraid im turning into Victor Meldrew , im off out now its cooler to cut my hedge , doubtless to the neighbours taking the piss out of me as they sit with a scooner of wine ...i may be in a better mood another day ...lol