Monday 21 December 2020

Plague 88

 Ive done well to last this long , its shut up for xmas time , so i wish you all a merry xmas in this weird reality we are living in , who knows whats going to be 2021 ? 

Sat here watching the solstice from stonehenge yesterday, did they really have to have a bloke leaping about in a hi-vis , was he perhaps a modern day druid ? Makes you realise that in the scheme of things nothing matters the stones will still be there whatever else goes on .

Xmas day i may be providing takeaway for various family  , my mother may be arrested for whatever weirdness she decides to inflict on her neighbours though i think my cousins must all be breathing a sigh of relief that she is isolating this year .

Changes for the better in the New Year ?  

Friday 18 December 2020

Plague 87

 So now the next door neighbour is plastering allover facebook that she has had a Covid test and taken to her bed . If she does indeed have Covid she may have wiped out most of the village , shes at the pub all the time , round chatting with anybody she can strike up a conversation with and was proudly heard the other day saying that the whole village is her family and bubble . We are not spying on her she has a bit of a mouth on her and makes sure the whole street hears her business . We are not welcome on any of the village facebook pages , she is the administrator of them all and i always get rejected requests to join , so a friend told me about her covid drama  it is therefore official that im an evil nosy old biddy , please bear in mind that its not the first time shes taken to her bed with suspected Covid .

Ventured into the outer realms of Lincoln yesterday , did a top up shop for the stuff that didnt turn up on this fortnights delivery . Got a women having a go at me for not using hand sanitiser , so i purposely took off my gloves and wiggled my horrible scabby mutant hands at her , she practically ran . Psoriasis and hand sanitiser dont mix well , add stress and im a bit buggered at the moment . The shops were brimming with stock just the usual random gaps here and there , nobody appears to be buying much xmas food yet its all dated after xmas so we may have a wild frenzy next week . The only shop that was busy was M&S food . Big queue but i needed fruit , if i order from Morrisons it seems to have one days date on it and to have been kicked round the warehouse . M&S was full of pensioners with trolleys full of bottles and posh biscuits .

Had a wrong number the other day and it was Kelvin wanting to talk to IT , i had him going for a whole 10 minutes before he twigged i really wasnt IT .  I did point out i was a little old biddy from the fens at which point whoever was in his office collapsed howling . I guess i was on speaker phone . I did wish the poor lad a Merry Xmas 

Tuesday 15 December 2020

Plague 86

 Not quite sure where to begin its been a funny old week , with real world friends and acquittances along with those ive spoken to for years on the internet dying like flies , not a Covid death among them all but still a grim week .

Mr BH has broken ribs yet again , he thinks it happened at his last scan appointment but its just an everyday nuisance happening , hes mainlining hard drugs it will knit but it takes time . Then he had to wait 5 days for a urgent chat with the GP about his scans , when she did eventually ring she accused him of being an alcholic yet again , then told him not to worry about it but he has an aortic aneurism and will need a scan every three months , just ring for an ambulance if he gets severe stomach pain . Then to cap it all she asks if hes considered signing a DNR . By this time hes sat there in gobsmacked silence. Still absorbing the fact that he has yet another life threatening ailment  I keep waking up in the night to check hes still snoring  , so lack of sleep is making me very strange 

Concentration level zilch im afraid , i just want a quiet xmas with us , but the best laid plans keep going wrong , yesterday useful son ended up in the back of an ambulance  with a suspected heart attack hes only 26 , hed been trying to get any response from his GP for 3 days at his ever worsening chest pains , when he spoke to them they just said ring an ambulance now .  Thankfully its turned out he has an infection around his heart that has gone into the muscles between his ribs hence the breathlessness and chest pains , hes home with a sackful of pills .

Mother is still scuttling round bringing joy to her neighbours she informs me shes popping bags of cat poo through their doors at the dead of night , electric shocking them isnt working ............Family who needs them?

Monday 7 December 2020

Plague 85

 So here we are all waiting for the wonder vaccine thats going to save the world ? Time will tell I think , for most i cant see it killing people in the streets but i can see its being used to scare people into herd behavior , I do think our government has spent the last 9 months conditioning people to obey and its becoming very scary. The very nature of coronavirus is to have many strains and to mutate , so will the new vaccine cover just the main ones at the moment , or in a couple of months will it merely kick up a new variant worse than the last . Will Covid just become endemic in the population with the death tolls varying between winter and summer? 

Equally scary is the fact that many like my mother are terrified to go into hospitals and doctors because once your in there you will never see your family again , she has a point, a friend of hers had a fall at home , she lived in a council bungalow the council promptly got rid of all her belongings and relet the property because she had been diagnosed with Covid.  Err the Covid was asymptomatic and she caught it in hospital , she is 90 and has no relatives all she did was break a leg something she was over with in a few weeks but she couldnt be released from hospital because she was still Covid positive . Shes now stuck in a care home arguing with the Council over what has happened , she points out shes fitter than most of the staff and she intends to sue . Well at least its given her a purpose in life .

I did have to venture out yesterday to take a food parcel to useful son , his sister dobbed him in for borrowing off her , he didnt tell us that hed lost his job again due to the Covid lockdown of Liverpool where he was contracting , Universal Credit being what it is hes unlikely to see a penny this side of Xmas , at least he made enough to cover his rent for a couple of months . We met him in Lidl carpark and he came to carry my shopping bless him , Lidl was heaving you couldnt social distance at all , not a toilet roll in the place , its the strange shortages at the moment , quite glad ive bought a nine pack every time i ventured in over the summer . 

Young Baldrick has come out of the woodwork to talk to his dad , i gather when isolating was mentioned he just kept saying he has a lanyard and none of the rules apply to him ........ffs  doubtless he plans to wipe someone out for xmas , ive suggested if he turns up he can eat in the kids Wendy house in the garden . 

Thursday 3 December 2020

Plague 84

 Its looking a bit bleak out there today through the cat snotted windows , but did manage to get loads of towels dry yesterday out in the arctic gale , i gather we are to expect snow in the next few days , dont have to go any wear  so that will be a look out the window for the next few days . Got a NHS letter stating we must join the queue for the gazebo in the doctors carpark on Saturday morning for a flu jab  , not happening im afraid , his walking is currently diabolic let alone standing for hours in icy rain and wind or maybe snow , you dont get a time just a day , if they want him that bad they can give it to him inside the surgery when he goes for yet more blood tests , because they did the wrong ones the other day . The NHS letter that came also had another helpful letter telling you to keep your bleeding windows open all the time ...WHAT its bleedin winter , do they really pay folks to come up with this tripe or were they working from home in the Caribbean 

Then theres the great Scotch egg scandal you can now go and get lathered in a pub correctly social distanced wearing a mask and eating a scotch egg because its classed as a substantial meal??  what next you can serve christmas dinner to your family as a takeaway?  so long as the windows are wide open and it includes a Scotch Egg? 

In my bid to have something to talk about with my batshit crazy mother on the phone, i go online and glance at The Daily Mail , she has the more rabid pensioner version delivered , amazed to find that Boris gave his dog Covid , so thats it every dogs home will be full within weeks and that its lawyers and luvvies stopping Priti Patel deporting everybody back to the Caribbean, of course all those they are deporting are rapists and murderers ..ermmmm if she gets her way over this its not to long before she deports everybody with a sun tan for getting a parking ticket . She has rather made a rod for her own back by the bullying business , she rather reminds me of Verucca Salt screaming to get her own way all the time . So yes those who are guilty of serious crime should be deported but not when its still a legal matter .

Tuesday 1 December 2020

Plague 83

 So here we are yet again Teir 3 lockdown , not sure what possible difference this will make to us whatsoever , still go shopping once a fortnight and hopefully get a delivery from that wonderfully reliable retailer Morrisons , the little girl who delivers thinks shes figured out what the problem is and why we get such weird deliveries . There system shows things that are out of stock at the nearest Morrisons which is Lincoln , but our deliveries come from Spalding store bleeding miles away so it cant marry what its sending up with your order , they have certain substitutes that are universal and others where the crap system just puts in random items for shits and giggles , apparently it only happens in the villages around here .  The other home shopping problem im trying to figure out is why i keep seeing an Iceland delivery truck in the village but we cant order from Iceland ? 

I did pop into Lincoln last week , a few shops are open and M&S was heaving with pensioners in fact Lincoln seemed to be inhabited with the very elderly laden up with xmas stuff , probably getting done before they release everyone . I cant think of any reason to go in again before xmas . 

Young Baldrick didnt reply to his xmas invite thank god and being Teir 3 is as good as any reason for him staying away. Evil rumour has it hes shacked up with some bird making babies , bring back Jeremy Kyle hed be a regular guest .

Next Door but one has Covid shes still at home but very poorly shes an ex double transplant patient who had the grandkids round for a birthday party two weeks ago the day before their mother tested positive , such is luck 

Thursday 26 November 2020

Plague 82

 So i have returned , this whole can i type, can i move routine is getting to me im afraid ..really not needed as ive so much to do , everything is taking so long . Mr BH could help by not making such a mess because sometimes the urge to slaughter him does pop up when im feeling grim . Sarcastic son is just locking himself in his bedroom to avoid having to help . Comment from Mr BH yesterday about the amount of cat snot on the windows nearly resulted in his death , doh i can go out and clean the windows at the moment !! At this point sarcastic son emerged and started scrubbing out the shower a chore he was assigned a week ago a small result 

Joyce , Boris is donating all this money to the navy in his bid to take up piracy after Brexit , practically everything heading for Germany etc has to come through the channel so if we are short of anything we can just rob it off of a passing ship . They can also buy lots of nets and ammunition to keep the refugees at bay , though quite why they will want to come here  is a tad beyond me . 

Then we have the latest instructions for lockdown that nobody can make head nor tail of , why dont they just be honest and say that all those rich enough will continue to jet off for xmas , you plebs can all be locked in and die for all we care . They are probably designing a Covid Santa 2020 badge for the poor bloody care workers and NHS staff as a thankyou as we speak .  

Just to make my head explode we had decided just to have the three of us for xmas , dinner is in the freezer it will just be defrosted and warmed on the day if im dying its not beyond sarcastic sons abilities, yesterday i was informed that Mr BH has invited Young Baldrick but only if he agrees to quarantine for a fortnight he hasnt replied yet , im really hoping hes too off his head to respond as that would be the straw that breaks 2020s back  aaaarrrggggggghhhh

Wednesday 18 November 2020

Plague 81

 So im enjoying the morning silence , MR BH is snoring for England in the distance , he had his scans yesterday and hes drugged up to his limits at the moment having injured himself trying to get on and off a non adjustable bed at the scan center , he will be fine just his everyday problems .                                         Has anyone else noticed that the rest of the world has ceased to exist ? the only news we seem to see is local Covid stuff and nothing else , even the papers are much the same is the world still out there?  We are been fed endless can Boris save Xmas at every turn while theyre not mentioning the following week and the beginning of the Brexit shambles , the only worry i have on that front is any loss of electricity supply as we have no fire places and are reliant on electric to run the heating , other half having unstable angina he has to stay warm and temperature change is a well known trigger for attacks , i keep bidding on cylinder gas fires online , but no luck so far .  But they do say that the whole of Europe could have power outages this winter if the weather turns grim , because everyone is at home using far more energy .  Having oil heating its surprising how few people realise that the pumps run on electric . Must remember to order some more hot water bottles , though shopping online is such fun , I ordered a memory foam pillow wedge the other day and when it turned up it was child sized a very small child at that , it had no resemblance to the pictures online where you could prop yourself up in bed with it , so back it is going , i will have to join the queue down the road at the only post office for miles , more hassle ...AARRGGHHH

Friday 13 November 2020

Plague 80

 So here we are at number 80 , still bored , still baffled , had to take a few days off due to shingles in my mouth , thats a particularly horrible one it springs on you when your run down to the ground. So im back in the land of the living looking round the squalid pit of iniquity that is my home , tempted to burn it to the ground . Mr BH has been busy and we are now officially chav scroungers he ordered a huge telly to amuse himself during the winter , knew there was a catch , he can now cast stuff from his laptop onto the TV so endless tedious racing and fishing instructionals on TV , oh joy , as he says hes got the boys to put the old TV upstairs for ,me , trouble is there he sits in the one warm room in the house , while i freeze upstairs bless him . I would be more impressed if he had replaced the holy stair carpet before one of us dies  but hey ho , listening isnt a strong point .                                                                                                                 Meanwhile out in the real world , it was our prescriptions  run yesterday , the only folks you see about are the very elderly the shops seem to be packed with them , Woodhall doesnt seem to be short of tourists despite this half hearted lockdown , lots of bikers about as usual . I do think living out here in the armpit of nowhere we are very privileged,  theres no public transport , shops are few and far between  etc etc so theres far fewer transfer risks for the virus , except from the endless delivery vans we see nobody . everything is more expensive even the electricity is a higher rate than other parts of the country so its swings and roundabouts , giggle of the day was the doctors ringing to tell Mr Bah Humbug that hes to go to the local maternity clinic for his kidney scan the hospital isnt doing them at the moment .                         Todays question is what are your thoughts on the whole wonder vaccine score ? mine is i wouldnt want to be anywhere near the front of the queue for it  and dont you think that its a tad odd that theyve removed the right to sue if anything goes wrong . Thoughts please 

Monday 9 November 2020

Plague 79

 Life is so tedious ive not a lot to say, Mr BH having finally got his blood tests has been referred for urgent scans, he may have liver problems due to lockdown drinking????  he doesnt drink . Our GPs are great for years we have had this problem every cycle of bloodtests he gets hauled in and told he should admit he has a drink problem , he hasnt drunk for over 10 years and back then it was the occasional one. My tests still arent happening , just yet more repeat prescriptions. Still a tad shingly , bane of my existence, not getting an awful lot of sleep so a wee bit tetchy , trying to get outside and do one little job each day a bit of pruning, strimmer under the washing line, sweep up leaves  etc etc etc etc then put my feet up at 3pm and try to find a bit of TV to watch , we were so bored the other day We watched the very first episodes of Take The High Road , it was bad to start with and it hasnt aged well . Son has given me his TV codes so loads of choice but theres not a lot that we both want to watch , id like to thank the pillocks who have started xmas adverts early this year while they have a captive audience Mr BH is ranting even more than usual . Still got problems with my arm i can type now but not for long and scrolling is just painful , cant concentrate to read which is driving me mad, im a positive crock of shit , not rundown more runover ...The highlight of the morning is going to be gazing at a couple of wrens harassing the cats , they get so angry and noisy out among the fog the cat s just chitter at them , theres so much vermin they dont show more than a passing interest in the birds 

Tuesday 3 November 2020

Plague 78

 Well its back to the winter fun filled existence yet again , lockdown isnt any different from our normal life , pretty boring and pointless sums it up . Mr BH finally got to go for his blood tests , the nurse informed him hes the only person shes seen who has actually lost weight during lockdown . He promptly crapped himself when the receptionist rang him to say hes low in iron yet again and the doctor wants to know why ? well hes been waiting to go for cautery for his never ending nosebleeds for over a year  now , his nosebleeds are of epic proportions and he needs cautery every couple of years. Nothing happening on that score at the moment so yes he has anemia.  From what i can gather they are working their way through the practice alphabetically trying to get all the government extra cash for actually doing something ,  maybe the doctor could try reading the patients notes and it would all go a bit quicker ..wild suggestion                  Actually ventured to little Tesco in Lincoln Saturday dinner , plenty of loo roll etc , actually got what i went for, a big pack of tinned cat food for old cat , i always try to buy cans whenever i can at least they can be recycled easily , lots of photos in the local press showing it had been stripped by locusts by Sunday Lunch , here we go yet again.  Well stocked on the grocery front , have a Morrisons delivery expected , it should be interesting in the extreme , i can get away with a trip to the butchers every couple of weeks . At least it has been confirmed that he can still go disabled fishing , usually hes packed up for the year now but him and BIL say theyre off to continue till xmas subject to the weather . Then theyre off to save up and renew some of his dads permits , they have used them all this season and its cost them virtually nothing in fees . So thats the tedium that is life at the moment , im off to watch the raindrops run down the window for a bit of  

Wednesday 28 October 2020

Plague 77

 Well todays headlines seem to be Boris the Pudding Snatcher , whipped up by the usual media culprits . So whats a Covid Xmas going to be ?  Not much different than a normal xmas i would imagine , my mothers head may explode as shes having to write so many letters reporting everyone for having seven people in their house , i do think the ideal xmas present to send her might me a set of night vision binoculars then she can police her neighbours 24 7 . Meanwhile in the real world can you see the police turning up to count your guests, the answerphone playing festive tunes and telling you that your 340 in the queue will be firmly on for that one . Its also being suggested Boris will call in the army , really? what army is this? hes busy handing our redundancy to them all at the moment , Demonic Cummings has done a review and he says all we need is more and more drones and spies lots of spies and all the data available on the internet , technology is the answer to everything , oh and algorithms. You dont need an army when everybody has been stuck at home playing Call of Duty for 6 months   Government by IPhone seems to be the order of the day , the procurement scandals will doubtless be shredded under the carpet as usual , meanwhile theres a Minister somewhere earning millions of points on Hot Deals ordering everything online each day , maybe the military should have noticed that everything is now being delivered by Amazon .                                                                                                                                                        So a perfectly normal xmas then , vile plague spreading relatives turning up , granny locked in the conservatory with her dinner on her lap waving to everybody , the kids looking baffled at the orange and banana in their stocking in preparation for Brexit . Then by New Year everybody has Covid from Uncle its only a bit of a cough 

Friday 23 October 2020

Plague 76

 So ive never been more happy to see a patch of shingles hatch , at least i can be sure that the raging sore throat and chest pain is just the lovely illness i endlessly get , plus movement is coming back in my arm slowly , sarcastic son has had the bad throat its a mystery as he has been out the door twice since March ? rather worried about him at the moment hes had a lot of mental health difficulties in the past and hes very quiet and withdrawn of late , plus i noticed that his pills are now twice the strength when i picked up his prescription.                                                                                                                                                      Im cabbaging happily watching the local internet auctions , its amazing what rubbish you can get for under £10 , havent bought anything theres nothing i need , but you never know .  I would just like to be able to concentrate to read at the moment that is the annoying side of things . so watching online auctions is quite relaxing it certainly can be an eye opener when you see the second hand value of furniture and household goods .                                                                                                                                               Im suitably amazed at the government decision to not pay free school meals in the holidays , talk about a publicity gaffe of epic proportions , wouldnt be surprised to see a u turn on this one the amount of online grief they are getting . Dr Caroline Johnson our conservative MP voted with her herd as usual , bit much when shes a Consultant Pediatrician in the NHS does empathy die at the point you become a Tory, there even getting stick from their own members over this one  

Tuesday 20 October 2020

Plague 75

 Hello its the one handed typist here . Well lifes so boring ive little to tell anyone , still cant do a lot with my right arm , but at least its not getting worse . Its a good job im used to a body that does as it wants , years of shingles teaches you that one . Mr BH just laughs at me , yesterday i got stuck in a jumper and couldnt get out and i couldnt get my bra fastened this morning , hes had to help which gives him a giggle because hes not an awful lot of help and he nearly took his eye out trying to do the bra up . Managed to get into the garden yesterday just picking up branches to go to the burning pile for an hour , it didnt make it any worse so may potter a bit outside later. Other half has had his urgent blood tests cancelled yet again, no surprise there.                                                                                                                                                Young Baldrick is apparently homeless yet again ,  his frantic mother rang because hes been slug out of his houseshare , he couldnt stick to the rules so they have no obligation to rehouse him , she was hysterical and begging us to take him in again , we pointed out that hes nearer his dealers if hes living in a cardboard box in town , eventually after all these months she agreed to send him her empty flat keys ...hooray , now she can find out what happens , im sure she may be more realistic once hes sold all her stuff for drugs and the flats full of drugged up zombies . Her neighbours will doubtless inform the authorities once hes made their life intolerable and he will be on the streets yet again.  Not feeling my normal charitable self at the moment im afraid , just want to sleep and forget about other peoples shit for a while  

Saturday 17 October 2020

Plague 74

Still alive and still  ..just reduced to left hand typing and left hand mousing at the moment , the receptionist informs me theres nothing available for muscular skeletal problems at the moment , take painkillers and rest ...ho hum same with the blood tests , none urgent and none happening. so i have the winter grumps early this year . I should be out getting on with garden projects , lots to do out there , instead its Kindle and Netflix earlier than usual.                                                                                              Both cats are in disgrace , nextdoors food visitor Lily Cat caught a mouse in the kitchen as they stood and watched with total disinterest they have had their treats cut in retaliation and are sulking and planning to murder us in our sleep .                                                                                                                                      On a plus note Keith my ninety something year old Jehovah's Witness turned up bouncing around in the front garden waving , he was well masked up and wasnt knocking on doors hed come to ask my email address as hes now online , his grandkids have been teaching him computers online during lockdown . he was out for a drive and thought hed just pop by, .i think he may have escaped from his family as they generally dont let him drive                                                                                                                         Mummy Dearest is im afraid going batty , shes turned into a one woman covid vigilante and is informing on all sorts of imaginary sins with stern letters to the authorities , she also told me shes electrocuting cats that come into her garden ....can you buy tasers out of the Daily Mail back pages these days ?  Shes also taken against the man at the bottom of the road who owns a white van , hes a drug dealer you know ...really ? i thought he was a builder doing up the bungalow hed bought cheap , but hes stopping her spying on the folks at the bottom of the road with her binoculars so shes written to the police ...sometimes im glad i live on the other side of the country                                                                                                                              

Friday 9 October 2020

Plague 73

 Well i continue as itch bitchy old biddy , irritation is a symptom of B12 deficiency . Got a phonecall from the GPs receptionist saying they may be able to see me in a couple of weeks when the blood test fiasco is supposed to be resolved ...ho hum  by that time there will doubtless be other problems.  In the real world im just pottering around at home looking bored , lots of stuff to do outside but its wet and muddy out there so not feeling it im afraid .  Yet more bleedin problems with my Morrisons deliveries they have changed the date the day before the delivery this time . currently we can only get deliveries after 10pm at night , still lots of stuff out of stock as usual , complain yet again only to get a reply about the wonderful expensive boxes we can have delivered , sorry folks i dont eat a lot of mince , jarred sauces or endless pasta .  Why not change to a different supermarket ? lots dont deliver out here , those that do stop delivering out of town if they are busy , since March we have had a single Tesco delivery slot .  So it looks like i will have to struggle round Lidl next week for a bulk shop , ive run the milk and bottled water down as it was coming up to its use by date , at least i dont need potatoes for the foreseeable future our last Morrisons order had substituted all the stuff that was missing with bags of potatoes , rather odd but something useful for a change which will last us till xmas at least .  Another weird question why have swedes suddenly become expensive ?  Which celebrity chef has conjured up some ridiculous recipe for them ? 

Wednesday 7 October 2020

Plague 72



Image may contain: text that says "IMPORTANT NOTICE NOT"



⚠️ due to national supply issues with the reagent used to process many of the blood tests at the pathology labs, all local practices have been instructed by the CCG to cease all affected routine tests with immediate effect. Only urgent tests will be carried out until further notice 🧪

You may be contacted and advised that an upcoming appointment is affected, for which we are extremely sorry, but the matter is beyond our control.

We have been given no indication as to how long these measures will be in place, and will update you as soon as we know more, so please be aware that our staff may not be able to provide the answers to the questions we are sure you may have.

Thank you for your understanding

So im fairly sure my B12 is through the floor , cramp everywhere , blurred vision , etc etc ...good old self medication is no longer working and i need a booster shot , cant get a booster shot because i need a blood test ....ffs ..this is permanent nerve damage we are talking about  . Spoke to the GPs yesterday , the doctor may ring me . Then this popped up sent by a nurse friend 

Friday 2 October 2020

Plague 71

 Woken up at 5am by an elderly cat who realised it was raining on her doormat , she wasnt too happy and shes a mouthy old bird . Theres a huge flock of starlings trying to do their dance and just getting blown in all directions . Its going to be a sit and look out of the window day with added domestic servitude i think , house is a complete shit tip  as ive been busy with outside jobs most of the week . i have a washing yurt the size of a small bungalow to clear , need to put most of the summer clothes away etc etc etc . 

But i did manage a trip out to the highly exciting world of Market Rasen . I won a £2 lot in an online auction weeks ago and they asked for my feedback said that that i had never received an invoice and they eventually found the lot and got back to me . Other half wasnt to happy he said it was a waste of fuel to go and pick it up but we toddled along anyway . Sheer bliss i got to talk to other actual flesh and blood humans and i didnt rush and managed to visit 3 charity shops, by the time i got back to the car he was fuming id got a couple of odd balls of wool , some Rowan knitting magazines and a couple of big books along with my auction lot of a bundle of unframed prints . I then pointed out that they had a small Tesco and why didnt i do my top up shop while we were out . That was a revelation a fully stocked Tesco , everything ive not seen for weeks so i went a little mad , set him off again when i bought a couple of boxes of bulbs , he went on a whole you cant bloody eat them rant . I gather he had yet another fall while fishing with his BIL last weekend and hes in agony and im getting the benefit , nothing new there .

On a GP note i seem to have achieved, locally there had started to be a few remarks on facebook etc about why our GPS wasnt actually open except for the chosen few ,  so i chimed in and triggered a whole host of stories about the place , none of them good . Low and behold from the 1st of October they are reinstating the testing for chronic conditions for those who need regular monitoring . In another surprise the brown envelope of doom from the DWP hit the map , it would seem that they are giving Mr BH an extra year on his PIP claim , a huge relief as we were gearing up for the battle , we had spoken to the people who helped with the 2017 shenanigans , i have prepped 6 months worth of food for the event . the lovely support lady i spoke to did say we should reapply anyway because they had moved the descriptors yet again , but we arent going to rattle that cage at the moment , we are content to receive something anything is better than the six months of nothing we had last time  

Sunday 27 September 2020

Plague 70

Brought to you by grumpy old bird , as many will know winter is coming is not my favourite time of year . So i just get grumpier and grumpier .  GPs my pet peeve at the moment , last week i went to pick up the monthly prescriptions only to be told i hadnt ordered mine which i had , it involved a 30 mile round trip due to road closures , the witch in the window then informed me they would order some for next week , but the doctor wished to speak to me because i was blatantly not taking my tablets having not ordered any since July , err yes i have 2 lots.  Thats fine can i speak to the doctor , no the doctor isnt here he will ring you . So hes not here? I just watched him pull up outside not 5 minutes ago . He will ring you . Shake head and walk away .....Go back this week , the witch at the window is demolishing an elderly lady . the elderly lady visably swaying on her feet is having the stuff theyve given her isnt what shes ordered conversation , she then says shes not feeling well , best go home and use The Ask GP website then , she says she cant . well your carer or a family member will have to do it for you .  My husband was my carer he died last month can i write  the doctor a letter ?  No they wont read it you must ring Ask GP , shakes head and walks away . When i finally get to the window i did point out that if they could provide a plastic garden chair and some sanitiser wipes it might be a big help for those who struggle standing outside as they throw stuff out of the window to you . At this point i get the death stare . I then asked why the GP hadnt rung about me taking my tablets the scowl just deepened , eventually she threw my prescription at me 2 big bags , so i opened them in front of her and pointed out they wernt mine despite having my name on the bags at which point if looks could kill i would have died , by then id been stood a good 30 minutes and the queue was down the road . Now the weird part is that all the other  local surgeries are functioning fairly normally now with extra precautions like you sit in your car till they call you in . Ours however are doing nothing, its like a fortress with only the witch in the window having any patient contact  , no blood tests no checkups no nothing . In fact they had a long line of pensioners down the road Saturday morning having a flu jab in a gazebo in the car park by a Haz Mat suited nurse , strange .....But i did notice the line of brand new Teslas in the Doctors parking spaces 

Wednesday 23 September 2020

Plague 69

So im not around much on the grounds that im struggling to type , shoulder thingy having diffused to my hand and fingers now, usually this is a sign its getting better , i can hope , ive still a lot to do outside including the mother of all bonfires , at least its raining for the next couple of days so i should manage a big blaze once the ground is soaked . At the weekend i had a tribal visit 3 kids grandson and BIL to tackle the last of the conifers they thought they should get the backend jobs done before we are all locked down again , it was nice to have the kids here and also find out they squabble just as bad as they did when they were teenagers ,lol

Daughter finally got round to taking down the munchkins high sleeper , its been a total nuisance since they left nobody but grandson could get up there and of course the cat  . i managed to find a divan base free on facebook this week so nagged for the wretched high sleeper to go , at least the mattress fitted the base.  So it being very large even when dismantled we decided to give it away free on the local facebook selling page , why just why did i think it was a good idea?  370 viewers and endless messages , so far 3 didnt turn up who wanted it , then i got sick of the endless dumbass questions , so i turned my facebook over to my daughter and said you sort it !!  I'm informed theres another person picking it up today , we shall see . Its several hundred pounds worth of bed not a cheap nasty one , beggers belief that its so hard to give away  

Friday 18 September 2020

Plague 68

 Why is it that winter is coming makes everything 10 times worse ,  xmas on the horizon doesnt matter a jot to me its just the thought of being locked up here with sarcastic son and Mr BH is enough to drive me mad in normal years, this year is a corker. 

Young Baldrick is doing drugs again another relative has informed us , endless phonecalls from the police who are looking for him . Part of his bail conditions is to inform them where he is living and he hasnt , so we gather an arrest warrant has been issued for him . His ex partner is being moved out of the area and he wanted us to collect his belongings , neither of us can lift anything and hes not allowed near the property plus we arnt storing stuff for him here . So its therefore our fault that hes lost everything and hes cut us off ...Hoorah  I do get the idea that hes going to be a neverending nightmare for the foreseeable future and hes far more bothered about his electric guitar than he is never seeing his child again .All i worry about is that he hurts someone , every time its in the paper that someone with serious mental illness has hurt or killed someone it grates , the families have all asked for help endless times and nothing is there .

Emergency xmas is in the freezer , 2 Bernard Matthew turkey  i will finish prepping the veg this week , the freezer is full so space is at a premium , nearer the day the turkey situation will be improved if possible, if not i can make . Lidl was once again very short on tinned anything this week and there were a few gaps here and there , onward shopping add six tins of what we use to the fortnightly order up to the maximum order limit on the delivered shop from Morrisons , still getting daft gaps in the order and weird substitutions but hey ho , how the hell do they have no eggs? 

Monday 14 September 2020

Plague 67

 Im just wandering off to play in the garden , i was up very late today having had a bad night with this wretched shoulder arm thing, got up made a cuppa watched a movie then finally went to bed at 5am  other half tried to sort himself out this morning , ive noticed hes got his shirt off already and the kitchen looks like a bombs hit it . In other words he had at least tried to sort himself out , he struggles to dress himself and anything kitchen related goes badly , it sounds so daft that he can put toast in the toaster but cant spread anything on his toast , but his life is one of endless frustration .  In a bid to help himself hes been  taking  CBD oil , its not cheap but anything that helps is a bonus , hes at the limits of normal pain medication when hes bad . hes been taking it for a couple of months and he says he hasnt noticed any difference only the fact hes not getting as many headaches . The point is that ive noticed a big difference , hes less nasty and mean , quite relaxed and chirpy and he just seems way more comfortable in his skin . Is it the CBD ? who knows .

Good old car boot yesterday , managed a bag of books . A rosemary plant mine having curled up its clogs and weird one of the day , a brand new in box pair of shoes for a pound . Decent make, the lady said she ordered them in lockdown couldnt send them back but they were miles bigger on one foot ...scored ....the reason im shoe hunting is i have one swollen foot !!! the large shoe foot 

Friday 11 September 2020


 Maybe i should have called it plague 666 after all the nations total indifference towards our latest government wheeze . Between that and the Covid Marshals the comedians of facebook are having a field day . Bet that was a giggle around the cabinet meeting table . Hancock getting almost animated at the thought of Doncaster Races having to be cancelled , not that his racing industry sponsors would want any of their donations back , so a compromise was reached and the new restrictions come in next week after the race meeting .  Boris doesnt give a fig it just means he doesnt have to see his kids at xmas and he doesnt need a bigger table to sit them round . Meanwhile Rees Mogg has a coughing child so nanny will have all 8 of the buggers stuck at home till the guilty party gets their quick private medicine testing done . Meanwhile everybody else with a coughing child will be driving to Barnard Castle for the only available testing slot in the country.                                                                                                                      Extinction Rebellion are rubbing their hands together in glee as it means they can only protest in groups of 6 , so they will have to come up with something even more news worthy , cant wait theyre nothing if not inventive . Priti Patels head will probably explode at that point , her plan to declare them a criminal organisation isnt going to well as most of the country find them more entertaining than Britains Got Talent , im not sure if this is there intention ? every day they pop up on my facebook with there latest wheeze its as if London has been invaded by redundant street performers crossed with Greta Thunderbird .                   Then theres the supermarkets latest wheeze to sell 16kg sacks of flour very cheaply are they trying to tell us something or is it just me , not tempted even with my prepper like mentality a couple of extra packs of normal sized is all i need as stock these days , ive tortillas and oatcakes in the freezer a couple of packs of part baked rolls and a few weird and wonderful bread mixes . However if you have a family it may be a good sensible purchase , but do remember that you need to dry store it properly its advisable to split it into smaller bags and freeze them to kill any weevil larva .                                                                                    I did venture to our local tin factory the other day and came home with lots of dried peas , stuffing mix and suet all normal stock cupboard items for the winter , they also had army ration pack chicken in brine , practically immortal and a real find, makes awesome chicken pies and great with any packet sauce known to mankind We also have a small countries consumption of pot noodles , son eats little else and MR BH likes them for fishing , struggled to find anywhere to store them , other half has just informed me hes ordered a galvanized dustbin  for his , should make a nice feature item for the kitchen !! 

Tuesday 8 September 2020

Plague 65

 Ho hum , theres nothing interesting in the news , Boris pretending the EU is picking on us and Extinction Rebellion providing more entertainment than Britain's Got Talent , you do get the feeling that theres an awful lot of the bored to tears middle class out there using their  rail season tickets to go annoy the government.  when you look at the comparisons between America and the UK on the protest front i do think we win for the organised disco dancing protest outside Buckingham Palace .                                        One thing i have missed during lockdown was my monthly discussion with my elderly Jehovah's Witnesses   theyve been visiting for over 15 years and just before lockdown they said they were being replaced with an online service which i told them seemed very sad as Keith was now in his 90s and had been witnessing most of his life, his partner knew i would always give him a chair and listen to him , lovely bloke with some great tales to tell , i do think witnessing was very much a social event for him , i do hope hes ok.  Mr BH does say that i collect cats and Christians wherever i go                                            I ventured into a charity shop this week to top up my winter reading pile in their 10p sale  , suddenly realised im down to one drawer of to be read in the filling cabinet , these days half of what i get to read i start and realise ive already read they have just reissued stuff in a new cover  or its just boring formula twaddle . I was also looking for a few extra mugs , Mr BH has been smashing them a lot lately his grip is crap at the best of times but he wont admit defeat and get a cripple mug as he so charmingly calls them , plus they have to be just right for him , no china because he scalds himself without realising , handle big enough for his big fingers , right size must be able to dunk in properly , so finding the correct 20p mug isnt all that easy  

Friday 4 September 2020

Plague 64

 Apparently im just being stubborn and need to get a smart phone straight away as its impossible to live life without one , kids you have to love them , there insistence that technology is the answer to everything may one day be proved wrong to them and im afraid i wont be drawn into the argument .  Meanwhile good old mumsie is having her own problems with technology . The last bank branch in her small town is shutting , she banks there and is none to happy , she raised hell and they informed her that they will make her an appointment with the digital training officer for her to go in and learn how to use internet banking . I wish them luck at 85 stubborn as a bloody mule and liable to ram their tablet up his backside this could get interesting . 
Officer Dibble may be ringing me again to enquire if she has Alzheimers , it seems they use that as an excuse for not prosecuting the very elderly who are a nuisance to mankind . In fact my dad once used it as an excuse when he got took to court for running his household electricity on a street light on the front wall of his house , the fact that he told me hed been doing it for over 10 years before they caught him didnt surprise me . He got the GP who owed him money for some building work to write him a letter saying he wasnt responsible for his actions , walked away with a fine .                                                                           Munchkin is loving high school already, his main comment ...this is soddin boring , I got the obligatory first day photo and he looked like a clown his uniform is so big . But hes grown so much it will fit him in a matter of months . Meanwhile im a happy Granny having gained five pairs of trainers and shoes in me size that hes never worn because he jumped 3 sizes in the space of a month , im not a trainer wearer but hey ho free shoes even cheap ones are something you cant turn down, Grandad did comment hey hes my size next lets hope he grows out of his new trainers super  

Monday 31 August 2020

Plague 63

 Well this is exciting , Bank Holiday Weekend usually the last holiday before Xmas in the UK and im going nowhere and really doing not much of anything . Son took Mr BH out yesterday to a Truck event they were amazed to find was still happening they had bought tickets at xmas last year , then today hes off for an interesting day fishing while under the influence of drugs with BIL . So ive been up since my usual 5am to get him ready and packed up for the day . Read a lot of blogs , flicked through facebook , sorted all the washing now tapping my foot waiting to go out and play in the garden .                                                   On a world at large front have you noticed the current pasta mountain that the supermarkets are trying to shift at bargain prices , we arent huge pasta eaters since its just us 3 left here so apart from extra lasagne sheets its not really needed and im not buying it just because its cheap . I do wonder if this is the supermarkets trying to push us to stockpile a little in the event of Brexit , at bargain prices 10 bags of pasta might be a good idea if you have a family to feed , its good long past its sell by date and your future proofing your purse as we are well aware that prices are leaping . Have you noticed that Brexit pies have gone up to £2.00 a shot in the big supermarkets , good old Frey Bentos currently still cheap at £1.29 in Heron , grandson loves them . Im trying to stock up on stuff that sarcastic son can just throw in the microwave for Mr BH in the event im not well . Ready meals are damned expensive , so ive got a good supply of tinned curries and other crap food , plus an awful lot of noodles and precooked rice . Sarcastic son isnt a bad cook but Mr BH is as picky as hell and his daft eating habits mean that son will refuse to cook anything for him if he starts moaning.  Bargain of the week has been Big tubs of Flora at £1.50 for 4 and stork baking marg at 4 for a pound into the freezer it has gone , bargain shops may be mainly cakes and crisps but sometimes you strike lucky for stuff you need .  At least the cabbage and sprout patch look pretty healthy ive at least 5 different varieties to overwinter , squash are just coming ready for harvest and they can sit in the shed for months ..still waiting for the grass to dry a little so i can go out and potter ...ho hum  

Friday 28 August 2020

Plague ????

 Autumn is here i gather , the rain is much welcome finally my tiny apples are swelling , the squash are loving it and the rhubarb looks to be resurrecting. So long as the frosts stay away everything should crop just fine . Though the temperature changes confuse nature a lot , in fact ive noticed ive daffodils up already , havent had to cut the front privet at all this year it will just need a quick whip along the top before it gets cold .   The munchkin has returned home now , school starts in another week and just to be on the safe side till we see what pans out on the Covid front , we shant see him except from a distance .He is now very impressed with the sex life of hedgehogs , our resident front garden dwellers have been attempting very noisy sex under the front window , porno hedgehogs to put it mildly . Our little this year female isnt having it , she wedges herself between two large garden planters and the much bigger male cant get to her no matter how he tries, but hes grunting and groaning like a seventies porn movie and its hilarious.  I did point out to the munchkin that all he needs to know in life is that hedgehogs are far better at sex than he will ever be , because after an hour big male just shrugs his shoulders and gives up and trots off for his tea . We seem to have four hedgehog regulars this year  , the absence of slugs and snails is amazing , between that and popping a brick or large stone anywear you spot slug and snail damage for the thrush to crack shells i havent had to do any animal friendly slug pellets anywear 


Wednesday 26 August 2020

Plague 62

Please visit
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Dear Dr Adebola thankyou for sharing this review of your online love spell casting service . I feel that in an effort to broaden your appeal maybe you could extend your spelling to more practical matters for those of a certain age .  Maybe the "Yes Dear " spell for those of us stuck with endlessly boring old  males who constantly repeat stories. Possibly a pelvic floor spell for some of us could make life more fun ?  The potato spell could be something to look into ? where they magically pop out of the ground to save digging the ruddy things . The magic decorating spell would have huge appeal . I think youve missed a huge audience with just doing love spells, oh and while your at it can you do anything about the bloody font size problem on new improved Blogger and the inch wide paragraph spacing , because nobody else can...AAARRRGGGHHHH 

Sunday 23 August 2020

Plague 61

 So in an effort to be prepared ive been busy ordering seeds and other garden essentials , I do like More Veg  they sell seeds in realistic quantities , not packs of 5000 ,  they also do a good range of collections where you get 3 different small packs of different varieties , ideal if theres only two of you , or you dont have acres of land to fill , this year ive managed to snap the garden rake but it was a cheap one and at least 10 years old , so ive ordered the same cheap one again . Then the Hoe broke at least 20 years old it hadnt been new when my dad gave me it . This annoyed me you cant buy a hoe with an sharp edge on it for health and safety reasons  Really, have you seen people being murdered in the streets with hoes? so then you have to order a hoe sharpener that claims to be a miracle invention but is going to take weeks to sharpen the damned thing ...aaarrrgggghhhhh  It would be easier if i was allowed into the big shed to use the grinder but its like Fort Knox and he hides the keys since grandad died . Son says you cant even get through the door anymore he fetched so much stuff home . Saving up for 2 new propagator tops because nobody dropped something on top of them . culprits likely to be one of the boys dropping a sack of fishing bait on them .

We paid a fleeting visit to nice son to drop a load of tinned stuff that he had delivered to our address , he was telling me that the girlfriend has had to go because she was to much like a creepy stalker , constant phone calls and texts it was doing his head in  younger generation problems . Hes seen sense and isnt taking Young Baldrick in , in fact hes hiding from him , nice sons flat is well hidden away , you wouldnt know it was there. Baldrick met us in a car park to collect his post , he didnt speak to me in fact i got the death stare . None to happy when his dad told him hes not moving back in here even when the munchkin has gone , get the feeling he wants rid of me as im buggering up his plans . Keeps telling his dad how much better of he would be if Baldrick was his carer ...ho hum 

Wednesday 19 August 2020

Plague 60

 The Young Baldrick saga goes on and on . Mr BH had endless phone calls while fishing from The Council explaining that they will no longer provide any housing for Young Baldrick and he needed to come back here as we have an unused bedroom . Im proud of him standing his ground and telling them bollocks , grandson is leaving next weekend and i think that was their idea to keep putting pressure on us so they are rid of the problem , they even offered us money to take him .   Nice son has agreed to take him in  from today in an act of insanity ,  probably a very bad idea as he has little patience with Young Baldrick and they have had little contact the last few years the last time they were here together they had to be physically separated. I do think this is cunning plan to keep his rent payed , hes got a new contract working away starts the first of September but has to work a month in hand the council have doubtless offered him the same deal they offered us money wise .  We have now found out that Young Baldrick could be on bail conditions for up to two years without charge due to the quietly bought in changes to the law for Covid changes . The big problem is that the small town Baldrick will be going to is where he got in all the trouble with drugs and i dont doubt that all the scum he was involved with are still there . Leaving him alone in the flat could be a very bad idea . I really hope he breaches his bail conditions without someone getting hurt  

Saturday 15 August 2020

Plague 59

 This is great the first drizzly rain we have had in weeks , took the cats for a walk at 4.30 this morning just because the rain was warm and wonderful . Then to make matters better Mr BH and his BIL have wandered off fishing at first light , BIL is back off work after just a couple of weeks , his boss the builder has decided that hes retiring to his villa in Crete and not coming back. BIL can take over the book but hes debating as hes close to retiring himself and doesnt really want the hassle of being self employed in the current climate , im sure being a handy bloke he can keep himself occupied with a fishing and working a bit here and there .

Young Baldrick is as usual causing drama , hes had to be moved to a Travelodge in another town due to someone going to the YMCA and spreading tales about him , hes been moved for his own safety , it would be nice if the gossips could get there facts straight . He texted his dad to say hes using us as a C/O address it would have been nice to be asked and we would have said no , apparently we must take all his post to him straight away ?  Delusional yet again . We have had several conversations with his mother whos still a safe distance away on the other side of the country , shes finding it hard to accept that her sainted little boy should be institutionalised for everyones safety , I finally lost my rag and told her what i thought , she didnt like it much but her partner agrees with me that he is bloody dangerous . We have so much experience of autism in this family and for the most part they are a wonderful if unusual branch of the family , it goes back for generations in both mine and Mr BHs families . I had an Uncle who did a lot of hard time for very good reasons and Young Baldrick is of the same ilk , there needs and wants are all that matters to them , no empathy whatsoever and they are often scarily intelligent and just use those around them . Its always a cliche that those with Aspergers are unemotional but for the most part they feel things just as much as everyone else , they just dont know the society expected responses . It is a minute proportion of the autistic population usually male who go on to need life long hospitalisation , often starting in their teens when theyre to big for their parents to deal with meltdowns that get physical . Injuring there parents and carers is something that nobody wants to talk about , its as if your shouting into the void and the guilt is incredible for the parents involved . Some people are born so damaged that no therapy or drug treatment is going to do a lot of good , why can we not face that and provide better caring homes in a secure enviroment for them . There is bugger all care in the community and it keeps going wrong , lessons learned is utter bollocks ...we learn nothing and no one is listening 

Wednesday 12 August 2020

Plague 58

 I have to admit that one of the pleasures of this summer is the fact that due to a road closure locally we are cut off from the tourist hell that is Woodhall Spa , so not a lost caravan do we see , unless you want a slipped disc or vehicles with damaged tyres and suspension going down the fen roads is interesting to say the least . We now have a 32 mile round trip to access the doctors and this is until late September . The road closure was necessary the road is collapsing . 

Anyway lets talk about tourism , Woodhall is a  time warp large village , famous for its 1940s weekend , reading some of the gripes and reviews online has been fun.  Endless moaning about the public toilets , theyre clean adequate and very 1940s , be grateful theyre open , squatting in the woods with our killer squirrels sounds more fun? Parking ? thats right theres barely any , you may have to walk miles to get to the center of the village , maybe you would like us to concrete over all the woodland to make more room?  Theres bugger all in the local Coop or Sainsburys local , that is correct , you have stripped the bleedin shops like a flock of locusts , welcome to our world .  If we want to shop we get up and are queing at 8am outside the butcher and baker its the only time you can get a parking space . But best of all someone has been stung by an adder , can we not do anything about them?  There are lots of them in our local woodland it is hot they like to sunbathe , so stick to the tracks , dont let your kids rampage through the trees in their flip flops or you £2000 pedigree pooch run about off lead , tons of warning signs try reading them !! The squirrels ? dont park your overpriced eco vehicle in the woods with the window open a crack because its hot and you have an amazing alarm system , once your squirrel burglers are in the vehicle they will freak once the alarm goes off , you will be miles away trudging into the village . Meanwhile passers by will be making a video for you tube of just what damage an irate squirrel can do to your vehicle , he just wanted to climb in and eat the left over Quavers from your kids car seat in peace , now hes crapping all over the car freaking and ripping your upholstery to shreds . 

Saturday 8 August 2020

Plague 57

 Sorry im not around much but its so nice having my life back , its not a very exciting life , just caring and pottering and gardening with the munchkin , though the heat has rather stopped that at the moment  This morning up early to get Mr BH sorted for fishing with BIL while on zombie mode , I should really try and get some sleep but i may potter out to the car boot in the next village , more to get some veg for the week than anything . Just cauliflowers , i cant seem to grow them here and ive a craving for cauliflower cheese .We had to meet Young Baldrick in town to deliver his parcels from Aunty Moneybags , proudly sporting his new baseball cap with a huge cannabis leaf on , i was so glad he was trying to look smart for trying to get access to his child , he had a good moan to his dad about his lodgings, apparently his aid workers are a wee bit more harcore because they work with the prison service  ...still stank of weed though and hes not happy that his medication is supervised . Our housephone has never stopped ringing since he has left with people looking for him , mostly people in authority it would seem hes up to his usual tricks with swapping his phone sim card every few days , this is always his way of cutting everybody off . I keep unplugging the housephone to be helpful !! 

Monday 3 August 2020

Plague 56

Well isnt this nice , so cold this morning at 5am you would think it was autumn , but i gather we are to expect some serious heat towards the weekend .
My gardening gnome has entered the building , i was wondering how long he was planning on staying as he turned up with a car full of stuff including his favourite pillows , but its just so nice to have the cheeky so and so back , munchkin can help with yet more daft garden projects i have in mind and he can keep Young Baldrick away as he informs me . We did shove my daughter up a ladder to pick plums yesterday , you have to take advantage of whatever labour you can get your hands on these days , we had monster plums ready at the top of the tree where they catch the sun , bear in mind the tree usually produces a few dozen plums this year its glutting , so by the weekend it will be plums with everything , there is also a shortage of wasps this year we usually have at least a couple of nests in the garden need dealing with , theres nothing organic about wasp slaughtering its the big spray can and run method
On the Young Baldrick front i gather there is a case conference today , i would love to be a fly on the wall at that one , i wish the powers that be much luck if hes still taking his medication he may be calming down a little at which point he will think hes cured and stop taking his medication , but because hes an adult we can make no imput .  I did ask Mr BH if hed heard from him because someone was causing huge traffic problems yesterday evening trying to jump off the flyover in Lincoln . Still getting Amazon parcels for him from Aunty Moneybags so we will have to meet him at some stage , hes never grateful for what she gets him so i dont see why she bothers. i scrubbed the sofa bed when he left i just couldnt get rid of the smell of sweaty male ,but now i need to scrounge a couple of new to me sofa cushions from somewhere as they are disintegrating

Friday 31 July 2020

Plague 55

We are free.................It took arguing with the powers that be till 5pm yesterday for him to be offered a place in the homeless hostel in Lincoln , we had 5 agencies and the police involved in the conversation . The local council were insistent that he be bailed to this address because we have an empty bedroom , I already knew that would be the argument , but i pointed out we wernt prepared to not see my grandson , my partner is disabled and that Young Baldrick isnt able to follow distancing protocols because he doesnt give a stuff about anyone else . Plus theres no phone signal here so they cant get in touch with him . The police agreed with us that it isnt fair to expect us to provide 24 hour monitoring of his behavior  , because we are very rural they couldnt get to us in the event of their being major problems . I just started sobbing at the point the woman from the council stated that they would help me to claim carers allowance for him and sort out rent problems etc .  FFS i would be caring 24 hours a day and caring for someone who i believe is dangerous , she got a monk on and suggested that i was the one that needed to see a doctor!! 
They finally agreed that he couldnt stay here , then there they were all arguing among themselves about what to do with him . The police wanted him moving out of he area altogether , other agencies say that is a good idea . The council say that he must be in Lincoln because hes only on bail and he hasnt been charged with anything .  The council were just saying that they didnt feel that they could risk their staff  and suggested that he be rehoused in the Premier Inn , in Lincoln the local council rents the whole of a local Premier Inn for emergency housing , but the police pointed out that he cant be near children as a bail condition , the council were none to happy when the police suggested the new build hostel that is basically an open prison with 24 hour monitoring and the staff are in a module , a lot of the residents have just left prison and are being assessed so this sounds ideal . So at 5pm he was delivered there , the silence is deafening and wonderful . we sat outside last night watching the lightening show and Mr BH said  you know we havent heard the last of him dont you .........

Thursday 30 July 2020

Plague 54

Yesterday was going pretty well till Young Baldrick decided to take apart his xbox for some imaginary reason , he tends to take apart everything electronic he comes in touch with , ive had to stop him touching everything of ours that he can make work better or faster or update . Anyway he fixed its imaginary faults , turned it on and it had died . The rage was astonishing it seemed that the munchkin had damaged it deliberately , trouble is grandson hasnt been in the house since he left the building before Baldrick arrived . Ranting , talking to himself this went on all yesterday evening , we went to bed at 9pm and left him to it . We had already had fun just getting his prescription filled at the doctor , hed been back to the car three times ranting and Mr BH had pointed out that if the police turned up we were just driving away.  All the way home we had ranting about his partner not sorting out his medication , how she wouldnt fetch it for him, on and on . Please bear in mind she is severely physically handicapped which may have a lot to do with this. His level of paranoia and poor me is ever increasing .  His dad has taken him fishing out of the way today , so im toddling off on mission see the kids at lunch . 10am tomorrow we are rid of him , they have rung to say that an advocate from some agency will be meeting him there . we are dropping him off and turning off our phones , we know that we havent seen the back of him . but the door will be remaining locked for the foreseeable future 

Monday 27 July 2020

Plague 53

The whole contact his GP farce has left me worn to the bone , his GP is another one of those on Ask GP  the computer system that is never working . So i spent most of yesterday trying to explain that he has autism and isnt able to deal with this , till i got one useful receptionist who said i will just get a GP to ring you back . GP rings back and says theres nothing they can offer him but antidepressants and Step Change self referral , something hes really going to take up !! He needs far more than a 3 minute phone call and a soddin phone number .
Yesterday was dreadful from start to finish he smelled so bad he was making my eyes water , he was quite chirpy and on overshare mode . He managed to corner me so he could tell me in full gory detail  about his sex life with his partner !!! I was finally rescued by Mr BH going off his head at him but at least he managed to convince him to shower .  We have noticed that we have to be very careful about what we watch on the TV anything about the police or violence even the news can set him off on a paranoid rant , we have to keep the TV on so that he doesnt get on his violent xbox games . Saying no has no effect .  We had DR Who on all day yesterday as we figured aliens was a good thing for him to be paranoid about . Im so glad we dont have access to guns in this country he is obsessed with them .
I really thought he had quietened down again but no, something while he was flicking channels set him off . This was an epic racist rant , so  bad we just sat in silence and looked at each other , how hes lived this long baffles me . In fact he is just terrorizing us we spend a lot of time staring at each other in disbelief , i just stay in the bedroom his dad cant run away and is stuck in a room with him .
Friday he is gone , but i dont think we have heard the last of it .

Sunday 26 July 2020

Plague 52

Where to begin ....this half arsed version of lockdown is making it impossible to resolve anything on the Young Baldrick front , im still sticking to the we leave him at the police station plan . We had actually contact from someone at social services a wee bit further up the food chain , to be informed that there had been a case conference which he had neither been invited to or informed of . the excuse being because he is still on bail he cant be in contact with his child or partner .  So he asked me to speak to them because he didnt understand . At which point they gathered that im not afraid of them , i dont give a toss if they put our grandson in care , my only concern is them avoiding there duty of care towards Young Baldrick , no im not going to take oh  but its because of Covid as an excuse . Strap your mask on like everybody else has had to and get on with it . I have explained that he will be homeless on the 31st  and no its not down to me to sort this whole shitty mess out , im not well his dad is in bits its effecting  him both physically and mentally . Young Baldrick is seriously mentally ill , hes suicidal , having paranoid delusions and should be in secure psychiatric care at the moment , not here terrorising us . In fact i dont know how much more clear i could have made things . At which point she turns round and says . Well after today im on holiday for a fortnight theres an emergency number to ring .  She didnt like it when i said im well aware of that number already , its leave a message and hope nobody has been killed when they ring you hours later !!!!

Wednesday 22 July 2020

Plague 51

Another happy day on the fens , himself and the cuckoo have taken themselves fishing so im doing not a lot today just a potter around sort of day , im so tired i may be feet up and fall asleep with some inane rubbish on the TV day . Yesterday turned out a much better day , the third son biked 30 miles to see us for the first time in months , more to ask me if i could get the mould out of his very expensive motorbike jacket , hed left it in his boot and the boot had leaked , nothing what half a gallon of  white vinegar couldnt tackle in the washer , i struggled to get it in the washer hes such a big lad , he will pop back sometime next week for it, i cant figure out how to get all the armour and liners into it . He was made redundant back in March and his landlord has dropped his rent down to Housing Benefit level till hes working again because hes a good reliable tenant , plus hes doing a bit of work for the landlord here and there .  Hes been very quiet of late so i had already gathered hed found a girlfriend but was keeping it quiet . Watching young Baldrick prancing around he did comment that he was glad his girlfriend had a couple of small kids as he wouldnt dare have any of his own .  Hes fortunate that hes the least affected of the males in his mothers family apart from having cataracts he just has a few very minor joint problems . Its a syndrome that comes as a lot of letters and numbers , females are carriers and have Ehlers Danlos and early onset dementia to look forward to , males can have anything from cataracts to severe autisms ,EDS and loads more goodies but have a much lower rate of passing it on.  In this day and age why would anyone plan to have children without genetic screening at least .knowing this is in the family .
So the sofa and the TV remote are calling , day of sloth and working out a very cheap online shopping list . Tesco gripe , they sent me some £8 off a £40 spend vouchers which is a very useful amount , sadly they are only to be used instore , i havent ventured into Tesco since March , mainly because by the time ive queued for ages i need the loo. They abandoned the village back in March for online shopping and have only just appeared  again . Morrisons continue to be dire online, this week we got no milk , no eggs no meat its like a lottery.

Tuesday 21 July 2020

Plague 50

Well yesterday was my birthday not my facebook birthday or my google one , like the queen i have more than one mainly for online security issues .
It was the sort of day that convinces you that life can only go upwards from here , not a single thing went right . From getting up to find that yesterday was one of Mr BHs  spectacular physical problems days which requires endless washing  of the wet room , hosing of the toilets , washing soaking ,washing, washing more washing , putting washing out  fetching washing in  ...oh joy ...not helped by the whining cuckoo in the nest following me round asking what was going on . So contrary to some peoples thoughts , im not a carer just to make a cup of tea now and then , theres days when its just endless grotty chores . Nobody can visit due to our Cuckoos bail conditions and we cant go out unless hes with us and is constantly supervised . So hes still having a paddy this morning because theres no shops within 3 villages hes got no bacca  and i dont feel like going out im knackered .  My daughter rang and my son in law texted that was my birthday , grandson rang up crying because he wants to come back to grannies just to make me feel better
im counting the days till we can get rid of him , we have already had the discussion about if hes charged hes not being bailed back to here under any circumstances , its been made pretty obvious that we have been taken for a mug by the whole family , nobody wants to step up and take any responsibility , theyre all think that throwing a bit of cash at the problem absolves them of doing more , they all have spare bedrooms its way past time they did their share

Friday 17 July 2020

Plague 49

So another glorious morning at the little prison camp on the fen , im up and have been for the morning cat stroll only 3 today so im low on cats this week though im turning into the hedgehog whisperer as well as young Frank or Franketter came for the evening stroll last night , hes reached the realms of sitting up and begging for cat kibble , he chases the cats round the garden and hes not averse to a Lidl cat stick treat , cant get any good pics of him as he turns up at dusk and stays for around an hour .
On the Young Baldrick front we are stuck with him for the whole 28 days and its proving hard work , though hes improving with some sort of sleep regime imposed , midnight curfew for all electronics or his dad will stamp on his phone seems to have sunk in . Between that and the sunburn from not listening when told you need sunscreen in daylight hes a bit crispy at the moment , being so white from never going outside isnt helping him , they have a huge garden thats like an overgrown wasteland .  ffs go out and cut the bloody grass when you get home . Losing himself for hours and days in violent games isnt doing him any good . The arguments weve had over that , im sure his xbox means more to him than his kid . Im coming to the conclusion that he and his partner are a car crash waiting to happen , shes hooked on heavy duty pain medication due to her disability and spends a lot of time asleep , hes constantly on his xbox her teenage kids seem to be looking after the baby most of the time .
I really dont see how this can be made to work , resources are scarce , lockdown has made their problems 10 times worse because they have had minimal monitoring , he doesnt answer the door hes cut all the family off . I can see this turning to headlines in the Sun with a lessons learned speech from Social Services and the other agencies involved .  He just needs inpatient psychiatric care and assessment , hes needed it for how many years now and hes got nothing ,hes just a bomb waiting to go off .

Tuesday 14 July 2020

Plague 48

Well this is fun another happy day with the smelly cuckoo in the nest . Thanks for all the helpful comments , some are a little naive perhaps not intentionally just ignorance of the UK systems in place . Young Baldrick is high function autistic he has Aspergers Syndrome and other numerous isms that are an endless list , this doesnt mean hes good at one particular thing , it means he absorbs endless information but cant put it into order to actually use what he learns . This leads to frustration which can lead to aggression.  His people skills are dreadful every other word is fuck , there is never any improvement in this . He is currently so paranoid that nobody can help him , not that theres any help for him available in Lincolnshire at the best of times .  It is best that he is allowed no contact with his partner and their child at the present time and the police have stated this . Social Services are involved , they have a caseworker but lockdown has meant that he is cycling, hes either so depressed hes not getting out of bed for days or so wound up hes dangerous, hes refusing all medication and so paranoid he cant see that hes the problem not the rest of the world .
So the problem is once again dumped on us , he needs inpatient psychiatric treatment but theres none available anywhere unless he injures someone at which point he can be sectioned against his will . It does always calm him being here , but its proving hard work enforcing a regular regime on him this time . Last night there was another session with Mr BH having to stand up to him , YB wanted a bottle of Jack Daniels NOW , we are miles from the shops and all the drink was locked up before he arrived so it wasnt happening . Hed also had a bit of a do with BIL while fishing , never one to mince his words hed told young Baldrick that his kid would be better off in care than putting up with his bullshit excuses .
It feels like every sentence ends with an argument .
But heres some more anti Tory propaganda , the wonderful well thought out Universal Credit system , means that as the head of the household all the universal credit is paid direct to his bank account , leaving his partner who isnt allowed any contact with him without a penny at the moment . She faces another 5 week wait till she can get a penny in her own name , while he sits here whining for a bottle of Jack Daniels . If one turns up from Amazon today i will be the one locked up for smashing it over his head !!!

Saturday 11 July 2020

Plague 47

Where to begin , our cuckoo in the nest is driving me steadily mad , so if i vanish for a while dont worry , there is a possibility i may have murdered him but its more likely i will be having a bit of an episode and just want nothing to do with the world at all . Im not getting much sleep with him here as hes up wandering about half the bloody night . When i do get nodding off hes shouting and swearing at his Xbox till the early hours . I actually spent several hours sat in the fishing shelter drying in the garden just to get away from him . He smells like a ferret , doesnt wash just glares at me if i say anything, i even begrudge cleaning the endless skid marks from the loo after him he just treats me like a member of the staff , its got to be bad if even his dad has had enough him .  He has grown in to a truly horrible vile adult .  Aspergers can be the weirder offshoot of the autism spectrum and quite often it leads to paranoid schizophrenia as an adult and i do think there are real signs of this . Nothing  is his fault about the horrible mess he has got himself into or so he thinks and believe me its his attitude to authority that has ended up with him stuck here yet again . People have been trying to help him but he doesnt see it that way , now there is an 18 month old child in the mix he is finding he cant just do what he wants and cut off all the help that is offered . Ive always liked his partner shes rather like me in the keep plodding on whatever is slung her way mentality but this is going to boil down to whether social services decide hes a danger to the kids in which case we may be stuck with him for good . The fact he may well be a danger to us counts for nothing it seems . He is an adult and we cant force him to accept the help or medication he is offered , plus it will be expected that he lives here full time because the munchkins bedroom is empty regardless of what we say, thats the sad fact of state housing these days and the bedroom tax.  So wish me look life once again has entered the realms of you couldnt make it up