Well yesterday was my birthday not my facebook birthday or my google one , like the queen i have more than one mainly for online security issues .
It was the sort of day that convinces you that life can only go upwards from here , not a single thing went right . From getting up to find that yesterday was one of Mr BHs spectacular physical problems days which requires endless washing of the wet room , hosing of the toilets , washing soaking ,washing, washing more washing , putting washing out fetching washing in ...oh joy ...not helped by the whining cuckoo in the nest following me round asking what was going on . So contrary to some peoples thoughts , im not a carer just to make a cup of tea now and then , theres days when its just endless grotty chores . Nobody can visit due to our Cuckoos bail conditions and we cant go out unless hes with us and is constantly supervised . So hes still having a paddy this morning because theres no shops within 3 villages hes got no bacca and i dont feel like going out im knackered . My daughter rang and my son in law texted that was my birthday , grandson rang up crying because he wants to come back to grannies just to make me feel better ..lol
im counting the days till we can get rid of him , we have already had the discussion about if hes charged hes not being bailed back to here under any circumstances , its been made pretty obvious that we have been taken for a mug by the whole family , nobody wants to step up and take any responsibility , theyre all think that throwing a bit of cash at the problem absolves them of doing more , they all have spare bedrooms its way past time they did their share
You sound like you're at the end of your tether - totally understandably. Perhaps you need to just stop doing anything for any of them and disappear for a whole day (if not longer). That's what I'd be tempted to do, anyway. My feeling is we only get walked over if we let them do it - and I'm guilty of letting it happen to me sometimes. Please think of yourself Kate - face it, everything would fall apart if it wasn't for you, and if you're run into the ground then it will do.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sooze - I know it's a very difficult situation and he is family - but really - ask yourself - how much more can you take, physically, mentally and emotionally!
ReplyDeleteYou have done more than your share and as you say it's up to others to take some responsibility. You have more than enough to deal with looking after your husband. Stand your ground before you end up in hospital.
I agree with the both comments before. You need to step back and not take on anyone else's problems. Your day to day life kicks up enough trials for any one person. You need a rest before you end up needing help.
ReplyDeleteJust sending a hug - or three x
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ReplyDeleteSo your stuck at the coal face of caring as well , feel free to comment apart from the odd troll we are a pretty nice bunch
Deletelol what a wimp I am! no carer issues just a YB but not nearly as troublesome as yours, aspergers is such a bummer, should be used to it by now sons communication is the main problem but we get the night walking ruining our sleep (and his) he's currently unemployed (again) so trying to force him into a routine that gets him out of the bedroom - but I don't have even a 10th of the issues you have and admire you for your generosity, humour and staying power. I was going to suggest in my deleted comment that you insist the family give you a day or two 'off' a week by coming round so you can go out and get a break, but deleted as I thought it's a bit up your arse to give advice :) please don't let the trolls get me. Betty
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ReplyDeleteI hope it won't be too long before you are able to see your grandson-he sounds a lovely lad x
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