Men

Now many of you know that Mr BH is a tad handicapped due to spinal problems , their interesting side effects plus a heart that skips and jumps . Which is why hes known as the families pet cripple .
Last month the van miserably failed its MOT at the local garage , it needed a lot of welding , not just a bit . Now the man who has the garage is a mate , he hates welding so avoids it whenever he can , we had one of those natters as we do .
"Cant the old man do it , hes a far better welder than me"
Bare in mind hes not seen MR BH in person for a couple of years . I go home and Mr  Bah Humbug picks up his crutches and demands to be driven up to the garage . He hobbles in on his crutches , grabs a pew and they sit and bitch for ages . We come home and he says "im thinking about it "
Next day the deliveries start arriving , we already had all the welding gear gathering dust , it was all lumps of metal and tins of gunk .
By the end of the week he tells me to bring the van home and announces the boys are starting welding school whether they like it or not !!
Worryingly when i went to pick it up , his mate at the garage says . So hes figured out where to get a sex gym from???!!
I should have been suspicious when a huge engine hoist appeared from grandads , but i decided to just go out and stay out .
On coming home they have the rear of the van five feet off the ground achieved with a tilt lift and the engine hoist, and numerous scaffolding poles . Mr Bah humbug is lashing strapped on a pile of sofa cushions on a crawler board and they are wheeling him around as needed . He has his dwarf brother underneath grinding away and the boys stood there like a pair of lemons looking horrified .
Sarcastic son informs me that plan A had been to dangle Mr Bah Humbug from the engine hoist so he could do the welding , the crawler board is plan B but Mr BH had to take some serious industrial pain relief after Plan A had failed miserably he then  told them not to ring an ambulance whatever happened . The pain relief was so effective that he kept falling over so thats when Plan B had been hatched .
Mr Bah Humbug spent the rest of the weekend drugged unconscious !!! totally unable to walk .
The neighbours have spent the last couple of weeks looking in horror at the flying van on the drive , we have had people knock on the door to ask how hed achieved it , dog walkers standing shaking their heads etc etc . Mr BH has achieved village legend status but he says its simply an engineering formula involving counterweights ....MEN ......to be continued