A Mumsy Tale

I psyched myself up last night to phone my mother , Mr Bah Humbugs comment was , "Soul Eating Time !!"
Bless her she was positively chirpy .

 I had an electrical problem . I blew up my kettle!!!
Then none of my sockets worked and the fuse box is under the airing cupboard and if i get under there i cant get out .
The gist is she had blown the trip and the idiots who she had in to replace her boiler had moved the consumer unit from out of the airing cupboard into a tiny empty cupboard beneath just to make it more convenient for an 83 year old.

Have you got Darren to come round and sort it for you ?  my cousin lives a couple of streets away

No hes on holiday , so I asked Mark, he managed to pop in between jobs .

Now my Cousin Mark lives in the same town , hes an undertaker and between jobs meant he came and parked his black private ambulance on the drive , while he flipped her trip, had a cuppa and tried to escape from her  My mother lives in a quiet little close packed with other pensioners . 
The next morning she got up to find a pair of cards on the mat, opened them and they were condolences on her own death...lol
Being my mother she had gone stomping round to the two old dears involved, had a go, and given them the cards back . The jungle drums being good in a small town she had gone shopping  ,got on the bus and it all went quiet .
We then had a whole rant about the fact she only had two cards on the mat and people staring at her  ....Mothers!!