Done Dusted & Finished

Well thats this years anticlimax over with. So contrary to certain family members imput I hadnt decided to join the death list for 2016 despite them all reminding me that im the same age as George Michael  . I had just decided that I should live by the motto "if you cant say nothing nice ,then say nothing "
Everything ive said over the past few years on the xmas subject still applies , so I thought it was a good time for a blog break .
So what has xmas bought me?  little prizes on the competition front , lip balm from Burts Bees and a really nice craft book from Popular Patchwork.  Prezzies?  Well im sure the family are convinced im an alcoholic !!
On the life is grim front , we have had heating, the freezer is full and ive actually been paid , i did buy little presents for them all and they were just as unimpressed as they were when i didnt buy them anything , go figure .
I did get a surprise gift from my daughter, a Fire Amazon thingy , still somewhat baffled , it comes without any instructions and plays endless Amazon adverts   but i have managed to play mahjong on it and it lets me read my kindle downloads . Im sure it can do loads more but i will set it a task a day , technology has rather left me standing still, but i can usually figure stuff out eventually . I think its a sort of a large print smart phone that doesnt include a phone...lol . The diary function probably has preset babysitting and washing lists...lol
Very quiet xmas indeed, we have seen no one , done nothing and had yet more worry on the Young Baldrick front ,  it was decided that he would be invited for xmas, it would be up to him what he chose to do . So I contacted his housing scheme only to find out that he had left over a week ago . To parts unknown . so we rang round the relatives to be told he was on the run from the police after stealing a car?? which explains the police constantly doing drive bys as this is one of his known addresses ,   please remember he is registered blind. He was spotted in Tesco doing his xmas shoplifting by another relative ,  he told them the car business was all a misunderstanding , between his girlfriend and her ex husband and was sorted .
Sorted my arse!! Last night we get a call from a lovely young girl on his behalf it turns out there are people looking for him and she had found him hiding in her garden hysterical because they had tried to kidnap him ....really ...now this could be just psychosis from not taking his medication , or it could really be his drug dealers looking for him over money , he wanted to come here , but its not happening .
We told her to contact the police straight away, so hopefully hes in a cell somewhere as we speak , what the past year has taught us  is that you cant help people who just use you everytime .
He needs proper professional custodial help , not this care in the community claptrap they keep on foisting on him , the odd visits from community psychiatrics if they can even find him , has helped him not in the slightest . Have we reached the end of the Baldrick Chronicles I think not
So to all a Merry Xmas ...thank God its over with for another year ..

Cherie hun  will scan that pattern once i find it ...lol

 

Thank Your Lucky Stars

Now sometimes the Thrift Gods do smile upon me . So try not to laugh at this one . I attended .The Cats in Crisis Jumble Sale on Saturday , usual wonderful prices and mountains of stuff , now i was very lame and gimpy and full of painkillers so wasnt joining in the bunfight , i got a sweatshirt that didnt fit ..lol a cushion cover that does and a shirt for the material , spent not a lot . So i hadnt spent my budget and got some raffle tickets just because you can never give enough to a pussy at xmas .
Well i didnt take a bag, so to me it seemed quite logical to just reach under the table and buy one for 50p , took it home looked at it properly and thought thats quite nice leather might use that . Looked at it again and noticed it was branded Mulberry , now I'm quite a failure as a consumer and a female shopper . So when my daughter and her posh friend came home I chucked it to her and said do you want this for xmas?  we are a joke present for xmas family and we get great amusement on spending as little as possible . She grabbed it looked and said are you kidding me , this is real isnt it ?
Yep you guessed id accidently grabbed a genuine Mulberry handbag , complete with registration numbers and all the other weird stuff that the fakers dont get right .
So my daughters 50p xmas present would have cost an awful lot of money new , her posh mate was horrified she paid £750 for hers , my daughters vintage Mulberry cost 50p in really good condition just missing the clip on shoulder strap . Shes now using it for court so i cant even get a photo ..lol
Even better I got a phonecall to say id won on the raffle , picked it up and it was a brand new boxed blender a big posh glass one  , we all sat round and looked at it , then decided we had no use for it all , dont make smoothies just eat the fruit...lol ...so back to charity it has gone ....
And just for giggles take a look at this i noticed the other day , I just have visions of this guy sat watching Emmerdale with his slippers on and a cup of tea while slaughtering a cow , my mind works in strange ways ...lol

I Got Paid !!!

So they actually paid me a lot of the back money i was owed , did I rush out and pay my creditors...NOOOOO as a card carrying member of the feckless poor , I went grocery shopping and then recklessly squandered a whole £2 in a charity shop in Boston that is having a closing down sale , cant remember its name for the life of me but there was lots of wondrous bargains and its located in a tudor black and white building near the Guildhall museum .

This had to be posted because it reminds me so much of    http://www.subversivefemme.com/   its so very Rockabilly . I love seeing the occasions they visit even if it is the other side of the world .

As for me , I treated myself to another vintage jigsaw I know i have a problem with them but they dont do counselling for a thrift shop habit . And anyway it has blokes in kilts and edinburgh castle so what more can i want ?
On the subject of what more can i want , ive been practically banging my head against a wall with Mr Bah Humbug and his daft xmas gift suggestions , bleedin men , he cannot get his head around the fact that im serious about wanting either a decent frying pan or a silicon rolling pin or even a decent mandolin not a v cutter . He says theyre not gifts .
 I have tried with all of them this year i dont want more concert or event tickets  ive loved the ones this year but they have practically killed me and Mr Bah Humbug .
My xmas shopping is practically done, more origami for the munchkin is bought , my daughter has got the most expensive present shes ever going to get ( we will give you a laugh about this one shortly ) and son wanted a £5 tshirt on its way from China , im a little worried that they may be sending it by container ..lol . Mr Bah Humbug just to get , hes not a problem his narrow view of clothing makes it easy , if its not khaki , camo or original star wars  he wont wear it ..lol
Young Baldrick has disowned me publicly on facebook , bless him , Ive a feeling this is the fallout from the hospital trip causing this , plus a week at his mothers for his 21st , that he forgot to mention after we had organised a big tea for him . He didnt get that we dont do birthdays because of lack of funds, hed been posting online all the stuff he wanted and seemed to think we would get him him a tablet computer for his birthday , in this house you get a cake , tea and a card sunshine .
Just got to get a vile xmas card for my mother and thats xmas organised ...lol

50p To Make Me Happy

Popped into the Bridge Community Venue for a cuppa this morning and what do they have in? An awful lot of 60s and70s childrens books hidden among the new stuff . So I just had to buy 50ps worth didnt I , there was lots of enid blyton , famous five , mallory towers etc etc . But there was this one that a lot of people forget about . Brer Rabbit famous from the much maligned Disney movie Song of the South that the political police dont allow them to reissue . Theres still a pile of obscure titles sat there

Then there was a few more Biggles paperbacks , I usually build a pile and then ebay them , I was a Biggles and Just William child I also loved the Willard Price adventure books .

There was just one solitary Ladybird so it was needed to make up my 50p , but there was so many good books from that era , Mary Poppins , Jennings , Pony books and many more

Bah Humbug

OK lets get it out there . I really have got to the level of loathing xmas , people cant afford to live from day to day let alone have the happy commercialised xmas advertised every other minute .
Its unusual for me to be fed up with it this early in the season , but its the grocery shopping aspect of it . Have you noticed theyve started hiding all the real food and replacing it with seasonal goods . I was stalking the yellow labels in Tesco the other day , only to find the chiller was full of yellow labelled Gyoza , Souflettes and Coconut Prawns with mango Salsa ...really ? Even at yellow sticker prices these were all around the £2 and more mark for 8 or 9 miniscule nibbles . I bet whatever charity gets there food at the end of the day will be so grateful . Cant you just see the poor bloke in his sleeping bag with his dog on a string rushing forward for those ?
WHY are they selling this stuff in bleedin November ?  I know it can be frozen and used later but the mountains in the cheap bin show that nobody is buying it . Lets face it when it comes to a buffet if you put this stuff out on you lets impress everyone buffet over xmas its going to be the tray of manky frozen sausage rolls and the cheese on sticks that gets eaten first .  Cheap manky frozen sausage rolls can always be enlivened with a good sprinkling of parmesan or glazing with a bit of chutney , thats as far as my buffet catering exotica goes..lol
So heres your challenge for this week .....

No1 whats your cheapy buffet cheat that actually gets eaten?

Whats the weirdest buffet item youve seen on your travels ?

Tis The Little Things

Its been a funny old week , got my wage slip , well my amended wage slip . the first one was comedic , took one look and cracked up laughing , for the first time id been overpaid somewhat . Not just for a couple of jobs but theyd paid me for someone elses jobs in another part of the country . 

So I rang them and found that my nice booker is now a supervisor at the company that eventually pays me .

Errr Betty , I have a problem with my wages can I speak to someone?

Theyve all gone out for a pub lunch , whats up chuck .

Ive been somewhat overpaid 

Dont worry about it theyre piggin useless .

Nope this isnt a little data entry error , someone is going to be ringing up going mental , it will not go unnoticed we are talking four figures here 

Bleedin hell , i will see if i can get into it ....Well thats different , have you been covering the whole of Northern England? 

 Nope im doing sick cover , ive been scuttling round a bit cos theyre all on sick , but this isnt my money !!

 

So she takes the details of the areas i've been covering , says she will have words when they reappear and today I get a new impressive wageslip for all the outstanding stuff ive been arguing about for months along with my back fuel money . The bank will love me this month and we will have heating oil .

A little bird tells me that a couple of the wages staff are suspended awaiting investigation , it seems ive opened a whole can of worms to do with expense payments . 

Election Special

Well America you certainly have put the cat among the pigeons . As you know my life is pretty crappy at the moment not aided by no heating oil and winter vomiting bug , dont worry you cant catch anything from reading a blog , shame really or i would have sent this virus to my boss , who thinks i should go to work while im contagious .
I would just like to assure America that contrary to the press and medias opinion , your sky isnt about to fall in , the worlds not about to end and the Mexicans will still be picking your veg this time next year. The Great Wall of Trump wont have even got through the planning stage before your next election
We make these spectacular voting moves to punish the elite and then nothing happens . The Donald will not deliver on his election promises none of them ever do , hes going to be finding out very shortly that he needs to do as hes told , hes merely a media figurehead . The bloke who makes the speeches and  who appears on the telly
 The White House will soon look as tacky as a Trump Hotel , his scary missus Malaria will be picking the decor , somehow I cant see Homes and Gardens wanting to do a big spread on that one . his spray tan booth will be all packed up and ready to roll . Closely followed into the building by a truck load of Botox for the missus .
Im sure his first move will be to get all the white unemployed to train as bricklayers , should be good for a laugh if nothing else . Just think hes going to need so many that they will have to come from all over the world . Thats going to solve the immigration problem?

Question 1
Does this mean that the comb over will now become compulsory in the US?
Question 2
Has the price for prepper supplies suddenly risen?
Question 3
Bunker Anyone?

Hilary chuck , go and enjoy your grandkids . Smile sweetly and just say "you got what you voted for" pat Bill on the head then put a pillow over his head when he mentions "When I was President" for the four thousandth time today .
 Liberty may be crying all over the internet , but hey nothings really changed !!

And It Got Even Better

Monday I had been planning to go back to bed and get some sleep just to try and lift my mood,  id got my hot water bottle filled and a cuppa in my hand then there was a knock at the door .
It was a builder come to start on the wetroom , I just stood there gobsmacked , we had had no notification at all of when they were due to start the work , in fact they only came and did the asbestos survey on Friday !!
He just stood there grinning and said havent they even phoned you this morning to confirm it can go ahead? Errrrr NO
After a bit of a discussion it was decided they had better get on with it , but moving everything about has turned into a bit of a nightmere because theyve had to do a lot of rewiring due to its crap condition , theres been no toilet between 9-5 , obviously we have a week with no bath , no water or electric except after 5 and just chaos, theyve had to strengthen the floors as the joists are riddled with woodworm , today the outside doors has been wide open all day and theyve been moaning they cant get on with the grouting because we have no heating oil and the tiles arent drying AARRGGHHH
Then to really cheer me up they said the floor layers hadnt been notified either so theyve no idea when they are coming so we will still have an unusable bathroom at the weekend . Today ive had 5 van loads of them here , just beggers belief . I really appreciate that we are being given this but could they not have just made a phone call so that we were prepared . I have to be back at work tomorrow so much for a rest and a bit of peace to get my head straight ..lol
AAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Writing From The Grey Fields

Sometimes I slip into the grey fields , for the most parts I wander the footpath on the edge and I have for all my adult life . Spectacular drops off into it were after the birth of my son 22 years ago , I really was looking for the numbers on the side of his head it wasnt a game it was post natal depression on a grand scale , hallucinations the works .  Not helped by a totally indifferent partner of the pull yourself together frame of mind . Lovely doctor helped me through that .
Then I had two car accidents in the space of three months and was having panic attacks every time I got in a car . Medication really helped that at the time .
My dad dying and my divorce was helped along by some lovely ladies at Stoneham who did a lot of work with me and helped me get away from my vile ex .
So every now and then I have a nasty wobble , got up this morning and cant face work , so im turning my phone off , usually my trigger is exhaustion , which is fair enough, im working hideous hours and Mr BH isnt sleeping so hes keeping me awake ,I  plan to go back to bed and snore if i can . But Mr Bah Humbug has pointed out its my mother that has set me off , he knows me to well . We had a real gritted teeth conversation yesterday .

Why havent you rung me for three weeks?
( thought to myself , because youre never at home or asleep pissed in front of the TV , have you never thought to ring me? shes rung me twice in 10 years )

Because ive been at work all hours mother

Its not good enough , do you know Margarets daughter rings her every day ?

Yes mother

Marys in the hospital liver failure , shes got to give up drinking or she will die , what am i supposed to do shes not going to want to go on days out is she ?
(code for days out is use your free bus pass , to go to another town , shop till opening time then sit and get leathered while having a pensioner special lunch )

Maybe you could both give up drinking together?

Thats your trouble , you chose to live a miserable life . You should be more selfish and live for yourself . Get rid of all those useless hangers on you live with .

AND THEN SOMETHING JUST SNAPPED

Do you mean like you got rid of me mother ?

Here we go, more of your imaginary bullshit , making up stories about your uncle so you can cash in like those folks on the TV . You had potential and look where its got you . You have done nothing with your life that i can be proud of . Your dragging your daughter down , she'll soon leave you and get on with her life , shes just like me. I bet that idle creature you live with is black thats why you dont bring him here .
(deafening silence)

Well its good to see that your feeling well  mother. Goodbye !!

I shant ring her for 4 weeks this time !!!!
And I must add my daughter is lovely and nothing like her damned grandmother!!

The X Word

The Original Working title for this post was ..Get Your Tits Out Tressy but then after my first cuppa that didnt seem quite such a good idea .
I do feel im rather neglecting the blog at the moment , but this being a 6 week month one of the vagaries of my job , ive run out of money for fuel to go to work and dont get paid till Friday ..ho hum . Give it another month till I get to see if all the extra work has paid off at all , it costs me £25 a day in fuel to work in Hull plus bridge fees of £3 but saying that it cost me £25 for a day of coastal tour ,involving Boston, skegness, Mablethorpe and all the little villages in between . I worked endless hours in August and they paid me £35 for fuel .
So on to the good stuff , last week Mr BH was watching the evening local news and it had come up with armed police at a local address , arrests etc . Try not to laugh , it was his brothers house!!! We still havent a clue what has being going on , but bear in mind this is the brother that asked us where he could get a cheap cooker as he needed to cook some ketamine . Mr BH chimes up with , at least he should be out to take me fishing in the spring..lol
Then theres that X word , its getting to the season I loath, Commercial Xmas , the xmas heads are getting their  vibe on , we should give a prize for the first xmas earrings spotted.  But what can I say the cheap mass produced turkey is sat in the freezer , just because Farmfoods were selling them off from Easter ..
The other morning being half term , I was forced to sit through children's TV with the munchkin , talk about consumer driven , it was just advert after advert for cheap tacky rubbish that you must buy , I notice theyve been forced to include the actual price in the advert in small hidden print , but yet again thats a bit of a con , because its the RRP price , so you can convince yourself when its cheaper in Asda youve got a bargain . Do people really fall for this ?
Poundland keeps running out of toys , is this a sign this year is going to be an austerity xmas for a lot more people . But for those of us that remember circling all the toys in the catalogue at Xmas hoping that your parents got the hint its not that different, we asked for everything but were happy with what we actually got .  Kids arent daft , tell them your skint its better than running up debt trying to please other people who you can never please
 Case in point the recent auction haul included a whole box of unused xmas gifts bought for granny , ive now got enough posh Xmas socks to last for years , everybody who came to the house has a new umbrella. Xmas jumpers galore , lots of new in packet damart clothing , tons of unused hankies , smellies etc etc etc .
So heres a little look at xmas past , Scary Spice doll now worthless and Tressy from the 70s not so worthless .

Light Relief

So we will delve further into this weeks auction mega haul , ive now managed to get it down to 8 boxes after a huge donation to the church was dropped off . Now this was the little box among all the other stuff that I actually wanted , this will take me weeks to sought through and squirrel away .
We have a box of filthy dusty , that nobody could be bothered with . But came as a part of a bunch of wool and sewing machines and other strange .
Be still my beating heart, its yet more knitting patterns in fact loads of 50s and 60s dolly ones . Toy patterns taken from 50 s and 60s magazines etc etc .

One I have just the dolly for , but with my knitting abilities may bear no resemblance to this ..lol

And for all you vintage frock fans theres a nice pile of childrens dressmaking and ladies from the 50s , many are still in the postal envelopes unopened , some are used and incomplete but i may have a use for the covers from those . Yet to be sorted through properly , I can see this current haul taking weeks to go through properly .

So thats my light relief for the week , as i toddle off to the depths of Hull to escape the endless American election coverage , which goes to prove they have as much choice as we do in who leads us . Theyve been given a choice between an Orangutang and someone so slippery they make Tony Blair look honest . I think its time to stick Putin on the ballot sheets and just give up.

On The Naughty Step

I went to a sale on Saturday and now im in the doghouse ...lol
I had to ring home to ask for the van and it was still full of all of Mr Bah Humbugs fishing gear , it generally lives there all summer and he was only saying the other day he needed the boys to put it away for him , there was no rush , I didnt have to pick up till Monday , but as men do hes got a bit of a monk on with me . Its not just that , i'm supposed to be running everything down for the builders coming at the end of the month .
But hey the sale was cheap , what can I say , so today we went to pick up and filled the van to the roof , he was so mardy he wanted everything out of the van today , so ive had a fun time in the sunshine and biting wind . Ive had to be quite ruthless, mainly due to lack of storage , so heres the first couple of lots .

Loads of weird wool , two big bags  . Lots of part wool cones . And a mystery box of what looks like rather grubby balls of string , its not its multi threaded cotton something but im not sure of its purpose ...ideas anyone ?

  

Then I sort of bought a load of toys , OK maybe theres a few dolls in there , a lonely Tressy and a few little friends , but theres also a Sindy caravan and stables , lots of Sindy furniture , tons of Sindy accesories , loads of dolls clothes ...etc etc . There was a load of modern toys as well that are going to the charity shop

, this will take forever to sort out and clean  , so i may have to hide it ...lol
But ive been ruthless the vans half full with stuff to go to the charity shop , at least till my daughter comes home and says the van contents are stuff that will sell ...lol

My Kingdom For A Life

Im back...well just for today . Im currently working in Hull doing sick cover , so full time then my own job on top . Im there all next week as well , not a bad thing . I do need the money, but its killing me , i just seem to work sleep and scrape the surface of the domestic chores . Its the endless data entry that does my head in , ive a full day of office chores today on my single day off , there was a phone conversation with my boss which i think went quite well, this was at 9am Monday morning

 We havent received your data file yet . ....

Thats right im just making a cuppa then im off to get on with it .

But that will take most of the day

Well I worked till 5 on Saturday

So why hasnt the data file been completed ?

Because on Sundays , I take the day off to have massive amounts of sex !!! just to keep my strength up otherwise I wont be able to face another 60 hour week at way below minimum wage !!!

He hung up, and i havent heard a thing from him since , not even the daily whine text .

The reality of my Sunday , was endless mounds of washing , cooking for the thankless and trying to get a nana nap while Mr Bah Humbug was telling me a weeks worth of gossip.
Its not good im missing jumble sale season , endless auctions and thrift shops , i need my life back

Boring Tuesday

What can I say ? Ive nearly ground to a standstill , most of my work for this month has been cancelled after a stunning paperwork screw up by the office , that means of course that there will be not much pay coming my way yet again . Ive had an interesting conversation with the bank about the amount they would like me to pay them off their arrears and the amount theyre actually going to be getting . Nice girl , didnt quite grasp that im well aware of the circumstances im in and that they cant CCJ me for less than £500 . but hey ho past caring, theyve had my statements of income , it will still hopefuly be cleared by xmas , we have food and a roof over our heads and legal vehicles what else matters...lol
So ive been catching up on chores ,not bothering in the house because of the mess weve got to look forward to later in the month , its slow doing the garden stuff but i know that it doesnt take a lot to end with the back pain from hell , so im pacing myself and trying to do one job a day . Today was top up the front door planters with salvaged fishtank gravel , they look sort of odd but colourful , I can live with that .
Spent most of Sunday sticking dolly into a dress made from 25p clothing salvage , due to everybody but sarcastic son leaving the building , still got the hand sewing part to do but she looks so much nicer without her plastic bits hanging out . Still my favourite dolly , im sure i saw a nice lacy cardigan in the big bag of vintage dolly clothes from the jumble .

Managed to swap a big bag of eating apples for a huge bag of Bramleys , now have to motivate myself to use them , apple pie has been requested , but its that time of the year where i find motivation a huge problem every year ,so im sat staring at them thinking really do i have to ?
I think its the thought of another hospital trip with Young Baldrick on Friday , I should have a huge sign on my forehead saying mug , im hoping he behaves a little better this time as its just a scan

The Good , The Bad & the Ugly

Lets start with the good , we had a visit from the council surveyor today about the adaptions for disability they are fitting , it seems we are now getting a wet room to replace the bath a new loo that isnt where Mr Bah Humbug will burn his leg in a winter due to it resting against the radiator in fact he looked at it then said  "has this ever been replaced since they built the house" nope its still from the 50s they just put in a plastic bath at some stage long ago probably the 70s , apparently this means they have to totally gut it and fit all new and tile the damned place because they are supposed to do this every 30 years and this house has never had a single thing done to it in the 20 years that we know of apart from upvc single glazing when a window fell out , its also supposed to be double glazed but they cant do them again . I pointed out the ceiling collapsing downstairs under the bathroom , the fact the stoptap has never worked and theyve been out umpteen times sucked their teeth and walked away from both the jobs, he brought up why the kitchen has never been replaced since god knows when . Its our fault for looking after things he said , if you wreck it all they have to replace it on health and safety grounds . He was also very impressed with the water tank replacement for the hot water tank , it seems they have used a toilet tank because they were to lazy to fit a full size tank and thats why it takes forever to run a bath and why we need endless new water heaters . the work is scheduled to take a week and should start sometime in October .
The bad once again theyre asking us where the downstairs toilet has gone , they took it out before we moved in because it kept freezing up and you didnt need two toilets in a house with only two people . Hes going to look into it ...lol
The Ugly was a trip to Lincoln Hospital with Young Baldrick , I had to pick him up on the Sunday and when I went to pick him up he smelled like a ferret and looked like a feral druggie . This lead to a small disagreement outside his housing scheme . and him coming home with me in a foul mood hugging all his laundry and with the windows wide open in the rain . Mr Bah humbug had arranged a fishing trip with his dad and brother by strange coincidence.
I just got him home ordered him to bath and pick the smelliest products in the bathroom , while i washed all he owned . He had a huge tea and slept on the sofa with a face like hed sucked a wasp . The hospital trip to orthopedics degenerated into a bit of a battle , he can be hard work when hes stressed , he just kept telling me in a very loud voice that he wanted to stab people and fffing and blinding the whole time , I had to apologise to three waiting rooms of older people and explain he has ASD which didnt go down well as he hates people knowing . He was racially offensive to the young Polish xray technician , so that by the time we actually saw the doctor he was getting very close to a major dressing down .
You should have seen his face when the doctor was so huge he had to duck to get through the door and to make matters even better was very well spoken and black as pitch .  It seems that his wrist is still broken after 18 months he then started a whole rant about getting a solicitor with much more ffing and blinding , the Dr raised his eyebrow and looked at me, so i pointed out that been as he was to stoned to do anything most of the time and couldnt remember anything accurately from day to day it was more than likely his own fault , I also told the Dr about his ASD and that he is supposed to be taking anti psychotic medication .
Talk about an atmosphere he didnt speak to me all the way home to his housing scheme , we'd picked up Mr Bah Humbug up by then and even he commented on the deathly silence
I think I may be off his xmas list either that or ive changed to his stabbing list ...ho hum

Jumble Sale Season

The Bowls Club Jumble Sale at Washingborough was its usual source of wonderful at the weekend , What can I say a whole two bags full came home with me . Mr Bah Humbug got an entire winter wardrobe for a £1 3 pairs of cotton trader trousers , made for dwarves aka extra short legs, a fleece and a pair of jeans that didnt fit , I could tell he didnt much like them, so just to be mean ive cleared all the stuff that he cant get into into a bin bag and charity shopped it all , plus all the t shirts with paint and welding holes have gone into the rag bag and are already at the  charity shops ,they went this morning before he got the chance to stop me , what is it with men?  he hasnt worked for nearly two years and he still wants to wear his work scruff day and night , this will doubtless cause a huge argument that im more than ready for .
Well that was one bag full the other bag is all mine !! Even im not sure why i bought a modern  Aynsley vase that I dont like and dont need, but for a whole 20p with the  labels still on it , it came home and  I keep looking at it in horror, its so not me . I like my roses full on Victorian .
Gorgeous 60s pinny , cant have to many of them squirreled away can you?

And look who was hiding among the barbies a lovely little jointed composite dolly , great condition , im sure she can find a home somewhere , along with a big bag of 50s and 60s dolly clothes everything from baby doll to Holly Hobby 70s style . I got the cocktail markers thrown in , havent a clue what i shall do with them . Theres also a stack of knitting and craft magazines that i shall flick through and pass on . £2.50 spent in total ...

Never Let A Book Rescuer Go To Auction

So Last week I thought I would go and squander the family budget at auction , no not really , I just go for a break from endless granny jobs and endless real work at the moment . Didnt want anything and got stuck in one of the endless rural diversion schemes for road works so arrived late and couldnt view . Buying blind can go very wrong...lol
But I only bought 2 lots unseen , a little box of damaged china dolls heads, always useful  , its amazing what can be created with a few Poundworld LED lights , so thats another project stuck in  a draw I might get round to ..lol
Then right at the end there was a pile of comics and sci fi books that nobody seemed interested in , so yep i bought more books only to find i'd got my favourite pulp fiction sci fi and lots of simpsons comics for the munchkin . The sci fi dates from 1961 right through to the 1990s and theres a lot of reading for me to get through , some are sought after just for short stories by certain authors and im a sad nerd who knows this . Plus they can be thrown on the scanner to show you a few . Still debating about ebay , I do have a vague long term plan but it needs a lot more costing and planning yet .

even older than me !

Meanwhile in the real world Mr Bah Humbug is having a few computer problems bless him , he was supposed to attend yet another course only for them to say he was to far advanced to take it . So we rang the job center and spoke to the very nice and useful lady advisor he as at the moment and explained that he needs to take his ECDL next but theres no available funding . Within an hour shed found one group that has funding for the disabled to take this free  and hes going to see them tomorrow . Its weird you need to make endless calls round different providers and Job Center had a few that arent on the list I have .

On the Young Baldrick front , weve seen very little of him . In fact we find more out from social media than he realises , he came for Sunday dinner last week and once i got him on his own we had a chat about how things are going . Hes currently top of the housing list to get a flat , silly idea because he wont cope on his own and we can see he will be homeless yet again , he needs supported living of some description , but the safeguarding lady has finally managed to get Community Psychiatrics involved  and he now has a case worker and he is on medication awaiting proper assessment . Sadly he told me he hasnt been taking his medication because he doesnt like the way it makes him feel , theyre sure hes having episodes of psychosis and schizophrenia has been mentioned again .Theyve also managed to get him on to PIP and ESA which means hes getting tons of money that all seems to be going on drugs and cheap cider . He had nothing for groceries and hed only been paid the day before , he said someone had stole his money , but we've heard it all before . Mr Bah Humbug lost his temper for a change and told him he needed to get a voluntary job to pay something back to society at which point he wanted to go back to his scheme .

So thats  the unexciting week on the fens over with , im sure life will get more interesting once the real world job calms down a bit

Grammar School Girl

So Mrs May has decided were going back to the Grammar School era to help with social mobility ?
I was a Grammar School Girl back in the 70s , most kids got huge gifts and much acclaim from their families if they passed their 11 plus , My mothers response ?
"Do you know how much the uniform costs ?"
Thus began several weeks of arguments between my parents , my dad was solidly working class to the core, a Labour man who had missed his chance to go to Grammer School due to his dad doing a runner , he wanted me to go . But my mother just got more and more angry at wasting "her " money on the damned uniform . The rows just got more and more unpleasant , it go to the realms of her screaming at me that she supposed that I had done this just to spite her , because I didnt have the looks to find a decent man to support me .
My dad eventually won by just not moving an inch whatever vileness she spewed , he funded the uniform , I dread to think how and off i went to the other end of town and another world . Congleton Girls Grammar , long demolished and replaced with yet another identikit middle class housing development .
To say i was a square peg in a round hole was an understatement , I just didnt fit in so many  ways, but ive never fitted , these days i would have been statemented .  As everyone says , im just like my dad , a man who believed in the Workers Education programme , read endlessly but was a proper working class male of his time .
Mrs Sproson stuck in my mind forever , that woman hated me with a vengeance , she was our French teacher and was French married to an Englishman , she just spent her time sending me to repetition and detention , mainly because I informed her I saw little point in learning a language that had no relevance in the modern world .
The super bright kids were streamed up to learn Latin and Greek the rest off us just toddled along , Im quite sure we had a staffroom like no other , Miss Maynard our maths teacher seemed to spend a lot of her time weeping in the store cupboard , I did hear she eventually married and grew a spine .
Miss Foukes , scary Domestic Science teacher , she seemed to think learning to clean a cooker correctly was akin to a Nobel Prize , I still have a filthy cooker by her standards , so that was time wasted . Mrs Fanshaw stereotypical 70s teacher , with a trendy bob and little car and endless enthusiasm , in fact she was the only teacher i ever got along with . Mr Mitchell a very strange bloke who seemed to be terrified of women , yet was teaching in a girls school? There was the history teacher who hated me for knowing more about history than she did and the fact that i got 100% in my end of term exams despite never doing a stroke of coursework . I was good at the sciences , hopeless at music and the arts . I think a lot of my problems back then were that i  get a bit obsessive about a subject and learn it to death but if I see no point in it , its not going in my head whatever the punishment .
I think I saved the best till last , Miss Wilkie our headmistress . Scary lady, drove a little car like a mental midget , wore tweed trouser suits and smoked endless fags , usually had one of her cats draped around her , they came to school each day in the car . She taught us English Grammar , we were all terrified  Back then we hadnt heard of lesbians but she was was i think very asexual, very educated and a bit of a man hater . She actually resigned on the day she was told the school was going to become a comprehensive , with boys!
I think I baffled her , by then my mother was "a bolter" so it was just me and my somewhat baffled father , who had to have endless meetings with her about my behavior . I was the first child to have divorced parents and the first to see a psychologist , but i was the second to be asked to leave . The first having been my cousin who was the only girl ever to get pregnant .
So do I support Grammar School education ?  Not really , a good school is a good school . there could be much more equality within the schooling system than there presently is . The current educational lottery system for senior schools serves no purpose , the wealthy will always get the schools they want . Probably the best educational move would be to issue senior school teachers with tasers , fear was the one thing that kids understood , the truly scary teachers always had the best results . Streaming kids works , it doesnt need to have the label of Grammar schools stuck on it , every kid has potential , just not with how many A grades they score, which sadly is all they are judged on .

Heritage Open Days

Dont forget its the weekend of the best freebies for a day out.  Theres even a few tomorrow, friday , I like these because its not all big venues theres lots of local obscure things that you dont get to see at other times .    https://www.heritageopendays.org.uk/  theres stuff all over the country .
We were supposed to be going scootering this weekend , but comman sense has prevailed . Mr Bah Humbug has rather leperous feet at the moment and i always worry he will take his socks off and a toe will remain inside. Im sure that would be the highlight of my day !!
So tomorrow I will get to pop to a couple of obscure churches that are open and combine this with the glories of working in Grimsby . Saturday may even involve yet more obscure local events with the munchkin in tow .
Now the fact that ive made rather a good thrift score this week  has scored me loads of brownie points , I went to Unique Auctions on Wednesday night , more to escape from the family and just enjoy, than to purchase anything , because funds are as always very low . Sat there till the last few lots and he decided to auction off a rather nice sofa , nobody showed the slightest interest so he got down to a whole £5 then I popped my hand up and he nearly died of shock . He even said are you sure? lol
Now I knew it was mustard coloured, but folks had been sat on it all night . Went to pick it up this morning and discovered I'd accidently bought for a whole £6.60 with commision, a very new , spotless G Plan sofa that is currently selling in John Lewis for £1200  , it even smells as though it has just come out of the plastic , in fact one of the porters pointed out it had just come out of the plastic just a few weeks ago, when they fetched it from a estate clearance !  So the thrifting gods have smiled on me , it matches nothing we own, but being as it will be swathed in throws to keep my grubby lot off it , does it matter . We wont even go into the performance me and sarcastic son had trying to get it into the house , ive currently got the slaves dismantling the old sofa we sawed in half to make getting it out easier  , so we can burn the frame and filter the rest of it into the bin over the next few weeks . I will take the pile of cushions to the skip when im passing and its actually open , something of a rarity these days . I had the old sofa for 12 years and i bought it from the YMCA charity shop for a whole £10 because it had sun fade on the covers . So it would seem i have always been a meany .  Thats one more item off my thrift wish list , still need a few things yet .

A Thrifty Shuffle

No its not code for a dodgy perversion !! Take a look at these beauties, a whole 50p the pack from the Bridge Charity Shop and Cafe , I dont think anyone realised their age , I didnt think they dated from the 1880s till i checked online , not valuable due to the condition . But a little bit of wonderful . The Counties of England Midland edition , geographical card game , so into my rescued Victoriana pile they will go .

Now this week im sort of gutted that im not now going to prison for benefit fraud , I could do with the rest , a very nice lady rang from the council to enquire what on earth was going on with my housing benefit . I explained and she said , but i only wanted the information stated on the letter , which her colleague refused to take and started the whole rant about . So I arranged to take it in only to find they had a computer system problem and couldnt accept the bleedin forms again ...AAARRRGGHHH  Can you bring it in tomorrow ...err no im at work and im not off again till next week ...Im sure we will get there in the end .
Then theres the toilet problems , it broke over the bank holiday weekend , reported it online as they tell us to do , then heard diddly squat . Rang this morning to be told the online system doesnt actually work you need to ring them ..AARRRRRGGGHHHH
So between work and useless bleeding computer systems im having a great week .
Plus its harvest in the garden , im trying to do one chore a day , ive made apple pie filling for the winter , apple and blackberry jam ,the raspberries have just started for the autumn season , theres cob nuts coming ready and the apple and pear trees are down to the ground with fruit ,  got to put up the winter raised wooden boxes and clear the last of the spuds , great fun with a back thats spasming due to my bright idea of shifting a load of big planters, i never learn .
Then theres wasps , thousands of them , its just one of those years , between that and the invasion of the house spider its my favourite time of year for bugs
I shall return shortly , just a wee bit busy at the moment

Thrifting , The Great escape

Ive been good on the thrifting front for ages due to lack of funds , time , not knowing where we will be living etc etc .
Then I lapsed...lol ..ive spent a whole £2.50 on things that make me happy for a change , after all once i go to prison for benefit fraud  , im sure Mr Bah Humbug will find they jump through hoops to help him , as a poor disabled bloke all alone and helpless , without his under valued carer .
So last week I crept out for an hour to Metheringham car boot and spent a whole £1 on things I dont need .
You may know that I have a vintage jigsaw problem and this is one i havent had before , waddingtons circular a whole 50p for circus loveliness .

Then I bought some vintage Disney flexi discs , quite why I have no idea , I think theyre from the 60s or 70s and when they spin the little pictures on the edges move , plus theyre labelled in Italian  I think? but once again 50p for the three . I thought maybe clocks?

Just to make matters worse I popped in for a Christian cuppa at the bridge and couldnt really leave these behind could I?  My weekend reading, a glossy new £30 book on the Scottish Highlands 50p

Then I found a rescue volume with Zepplins and Bi planes and how good for you radiation is!! 50p

Now this all adds up to £2 wasted  Im just such a rebel!! , the other 50p I will reveal once I can get someone to photograph it for me , i have asked, but its the usual high level response . Meanwhile im indulging in a weekend of domestic servitude , because theres not a stroke of it happening from anyone else and I cant stand it anymore .
Dumb ass question of the day ?
Why are you shaking the toaster outside ?
Because it caught fire, because nobody ever emptied the tray !!!

Missing in Action

Well i'm sorry folks ive just vanished into the world of work , doing cover for a full time colleague whos had a bypass , evil rumour would have it they had to struggle to find the organ to work on it . Love him really, hes sort of an ageing Gene Hunt, ex Flying Squad, crazy person . This will make up for the 2 week holiday period , with my job if you book a day off they stop your work for two weeks .
Just one more week and in theory i can wind back a bit and try sleep for a change, or more like clean this hell hole up , which nobody else seems to even think about ..lol

I also have yet more benefit wars starting, once again i have major problems on the Housing Benefit front , they have stopped our claim due to the cock up with JSA . That is resolved and reinstated , they still just pay his stamp . So they requested that I resubmit the application which took some sorting then i took it into the local link office to be checked , only to meet the vilest member of staff yet .
He was extremely rude , told me to shut up on numerous occasions when i tried to explain. because he couldnt concentrate and make a " judgement "with me talking .
Then told me that if it was up to him we wouldnt be receiving a penny  .
There were errors in last years calculations that they had made , but it was my fault !!
In fact he accused me of Benefit Fraud
and the cause of this ? They had included Child Benefit for my grandson in my earnings not my daughters . This shouldnt make a pennies difference to the actual end figures its just in the wrong box on their system despite us telling them the correct information on the application .
This whole you are guilty lecture continued on , then he informed me we would be investigated for fraud . Then went on to a whole rant about there being Paypal payments going into my partners bank account ..Doh because we needed to pay for the holiday . My partner could sell thousands of pounds of vehicle parts, his playground is full of half finished projects that need to go now he cant do much , so I had to sign another form explaining this.
I came out and sat in my car and cried , I felt like a criminal still do . We have to provide loads of extra income evidence etc etc ...really need this like a hole in the head

Lackluster

Story of my life at the moment , totally exhausted not sleeping well, hence lacklustre .
Managed a jumble sale at the scout hut on the Birchwood this week , spent a whole £3 filled a huge bag by buying everything in my size whether I liked it or not , went home tried it all on and got a couple of bits that fit and i would maybe be seen dead in . Also another gorgeous rose covered king size bed set , have roses gone out of fashion ? As if fashion has ever mattered to me...lol
Sarcastic Son and I did a car boot sale Sunday , didnt make much but once again we didnt have anything very interesting to sell mainly jumble sale stuff and it will keep me in bread and milk for the week .
Work ..ho hum ..it just gets worse week by week they just keep paying us less and less and wanting more and more , I cant afford the fuel to travel round the county doing the odd job here and there , that they grudgingly want to pay a whole £2 for each , we do not receive any expenses so we are stuffed , this week, they sent me 100 jobs to turn round in 7 days , they do not grasp that Lincolnshire is a very big place and the fact they may pay me in the next 6 months doesnt really help . Started booking work from another company and after booking time into my diary they are now cancelling all the time slots down so theres big unpaid holes in the next few weeks .
Mr Bah Humbug is having a really bad phase with his walking , not quite sure where we go from here , he was told crutches wernt an option due to the pins and plates in his neck . the lady from occupational health suggested a wheelie walker , but he found he couldnt use it due to the lack of feeling in his feet , it made him trip constantly , so shes looking at other options .
Occupational health have said , he needs a property with a shower because our bathrooms to small for  any of the bath lifts available and have blasted a letter off to the Housing department about the lack of any banisters or handrails on our stairs being a major health and safety issue for everyone in the household not just him . Funnily enough it was well over a year ago we asked about handrails and were told tough by the council.
So if im not around much a the moment its just because life is really busy and I need sleep not because i dont enjoy your company . byyeeee

My Favourite Spot On The Wall

So its been a fun packed return to Lincolnshire , when we got back there was a letter from the Job centre telling Mr Bah humbug that they had ceased his Jobseekers Allowance for not attending an appointment on the 2nd of June , which was really weird as he hasnt heard a thing from them in months because hes on a training scheme . Rang them up and they said that it was right so I ended up talking to them as he was starting to shout . 

So why has it taken you till the 25th of July to send a letter out informing us of this ?

Ive no idea, but you did miss the appointment .

He hasnt had anything to tell him he had an appointment!

Your right we never sent him anything , he will have to do a rapid reclaim online .

Ok we can do that , but its your error and it says we should ask for mandatory reconsideration 

Yes but its quicker to just reclaim online

So Mr Bah Humbug settled down to do the online rapid reclaim online , only to find it wouldnt work unless you lied on that one certain question that it always glitches on , it had also gained another 20 pages  of intrusive questions about other family members , my daughter said they can stuff off , its not as if they actually give you anything . so bless him he just put any old thing , then they sent him a text saying he had an appointment for 10 past 10 today . 

So off we toddled to the realms of Mordor , aka job center . The sun was shining the birds were singing and for the first time ever we managed to get a cripple parking space !!

Managed to get access to the lift , eventually and went to the shiny new jobcenter . 

The lovely lady on reception said your a bit early take a seat and there we sat and sat and sat . Turns out the appointment wasnt till 11.30 . 

Nothing new it was their error yet again , is it bad that they all know him there and kept saying hello .

Anyway it took all of 5 minutes to sort it they just copied and pasted his details back in and backdated it till the second of June . It just pays his National Insurance but that means we get housing benefit .

So thats why im banging my head on the wall , we have to reclaim housing benefit from scratch , it took nearly 6 months and an eviction notice to sort this out last time , so all this stress is caused by a simple data entry error at the Job Center .

Hello Russia

A couple of other bloggers have also noticed a huge influx of Russian designated viewers on their google sats , so welcome. im not sure what google classes as Russia , its such a vast area and they keep annexing bits here and there , it may just be a google glitch, not unknown . Plus we have most of Lithuania living just down the road in Boston so we may have been annexed and Lincolnshire could well be a secret Russian State ?

totally irrelevant shot from Lincoln castle walls  

Well onwards with this weeks trials , a weekend in a field in Leicestershire ..joy.  Mr Bah Humbug decided we should put the tent next to the toilets for his convenience , but then found out there isnt anyway to get two people into a blue portaloo in the case of emergency !! The music was so loud that it felt like the Americans were invading every time a Clash track came on , with me being tone deaf ,music that loud means i cant follow any conversation and they played it from 8am till 2am both day and night  AARRGGH it was like a form of torture , im shattered and also ended up with a stomach bug due to either the truly disgusting toilets or the number of insect bites im covered in . Mr Bah Humbug had a great time with his mate and i just sat and read , i realise that people think im snobby and not a mixer at these events , but its just that I dont drink a great deal and I cant follow what they are saying if the music is loud . The things you do to make your partner happy ..lol
So heres a tale from long ago , we were once invited on holiday with some friends who we had barely seen for a few years , we were sharing a flat at the seaside and it seemed like a good time to get reaquainted , kid free etc . Now me being naive and a bit thick didnt realise that said friends were now into recreational drugs on a grand scale . They had constant spliffs on day and night , they were doing lines of coke all the time , popping pills constantly and im sat there in amazed horror . Once again i was deemed no fun because i didnt want to join in . Mr Bah Humbug just hugged his bottle of JD and said no thanks .

So im afraid thats me im an official  joy sapper in the eyes of many , maybe thats why im never invited anywhere ? lol..or could it just be that im quiet and self contained and live in my own little bubble ? in fact maybe im on the Autistic Spectrum like so many other family members , I will go and consult doctor google !!

Why Do We Do It

Well ive managed to post a little bit of Runrig but couldnt manage to put it in the actual post , the joys of being a technophobic old biddy im afraid .
Scary times getting Mr BH to and from the castle , he decided that he wouldnt pay £10 for a taxi up to the castle and through sheer stubbornness he climbed every one of those wretched steps by the galleries , he has a lovely set of black toes and he had to sit for 3 hours once he got there just to be able to get on his feet to walk in  , then wouldnt take his drugs because he wanted to enjoy the concert ...MEN.
G4S were doing the very perfunctory security checks and the support act was the Hare Krishnas who turned up for a singalong and boogie with the crowds in the queue , munchkin wanted to join them and is now chanting merrily , its a bit eerie all the crowd chanting along in the shadow of the castle , ive always had a fondness for the Krishnas , they always seem so cheerful , my ex once dragged us to a lunch with them , excellent vegan food and a bit of chanting , just the word free was enough to get him there .
The concert was excellent , wed picked a nice easy to get to seating area , they pointed out theyd played the castle 6 times , it made me feel so old id been there for 5 of those gigs , in fact it was rather like the march of the cripples getting into the gig , were all getting old , the munchkin was shattered he kept dozing off until a track he knew came on then he was up and singing yet again .
Getting Mr BH out of the gig was a nightmare , hed stiffened by then but with the help of some friendly drunks we managed , then discovered he couldnt walk because his ankles had swelled like balloons , daughter came to the rescue with a pedal taxi , which we rammed him and the munchkin in and launched him down hill , told the little taxi lad to park him against a lamp post outside the hotel .
The munchkin is now overjoyed because he was singing his head off and drunks kept giving him money . All and all a great night despite the fact my resident cripple is still in a bit of a state , he may lose a few toe nails , but as he says he cant feel his feet so why worry .
This is about the time he informed me his mate had bought us tickets for a scooter rally this weekend , so ive not unpacked the camping gear and were off again today a wet field in Leicester im informed , havent even got the washing all dry from Edinburgh .
Edinburgh was lovely never seen so many tourists in so many nationalities , it was clean the locals were friendly it doesnt take the piss price wise , super good cheap public transport even on a sunday it turns up on time !!  Park and ride is free and has lots of cctv so your vehicles fine overnight . Would we do it again? , well it depends if any of my stubborn idiot of a other half has a few more bits fall apart bless him . My daughter has mentioned christmas shopping something i dont indulge in , but it may be an excuse for a cheap trip

dance called america - Runrig Edinburgh castle

Holidays...The Return

Nice to be back ...........no it isnt , I could cheerfully have spent another week languishing in the tent , with Mr Bah Humbug .
We stayed at Thorntonloch just outside Dunbar , I dont think I could have driven any further with my driving instructor beside me ..aka ..Mr Bah Humbug , we managed till the ride home ,I spat my dummy and told him to shut up...lol ..but he has now added a new catchphrase to the family dialogue "cock wombles" this is applied to all Audi drivers and those who cut you up on the A1. Another one of his imaginary swear words conjured up for the enjoyment of the Munchkin .
The campsite was lovely we were tucked into a corner under some trees and apart from a couple of other tents were left in peace , they said they didnt have disabled facilities , but we managed , the showers were a little deadly and needed some proper anti slip matting and there was no  proper steps at a couple of points around the toilet block just big stones . Nice to know the site warden gets up and cleans the toilets at first light , a fellow member of the early risers club i think . Mr BH couldnt do the main path through the dunes so he didnt toddle down to the glorious beach . I think this is the ideal stopping off point if you doing the long journey up to Edinburgh or to the Highlands , quiet and peaceful , very faint traffic noice and the occasional train in the far distance drowned out by the waves when the tide is up . Now for the giggle , theres a huge nuclear power station next door , they dont mention it in all their publicised blurb but you can hardly miss it . MR BH has a field day with endless Homer Simpson jokes , we already knew, but it must come as a bit of a shocker if you turn up and didnt realise till you got there . You cant really see anything for the huge sand dunes and I can vouch for the fact that the huge amount of rabbits do not have glow in the dark green eyes or fangs .
I shall return and blog about the wondrous Edinburgh visit once ive tackled the washing mountain

http://thorntonlochcaravanpark.vpweb.co.uk/

Hooray Hooray its a Holiday !!

Back at xmas my daughter bought me some concert tickets for Runrig at Edinburgh Castle next weekend . Wonderfull, but we hadnt really thought this through very well..lol  Its just a week away and Mr BH has hit a bad spell with his walking , so I contacted the venue and found that because he hadnt got an ambulatory disabled ticket theres not a lot they can do to help . Short of popping him in a wheelbarrow ive no idea how we will get him in and out of there . Plus we are going to camp up there for a few days as well , just to let him get over the trip up and whatever we have to do to get in and out of the venue . Due to the budget problems we cant afford to hire transport for him , but he still wants to go and we have the munchkin going to his first big concert , while mum and partner are going down in the moshpit . We are staying at the cheapest campsite outside Edinburgh and travelling into town, shouldnt be a problem they have excellent cheap public transport its just the trip up and down to the venue, we are staying in a flat funded by my daughter for that night  ....what have i let myself in for . Holiday ?  more like survivalist training .
Meanwhile we had the much awaited Assessment of Needs the other day , really nice lady from occupational health , who was just appalled that Mr BH is judged to be fit for work .
But you do realise how dangerous this is ?
Of course we do .
But you can barely walk and the compression of standing is going to cause you far more damage .
Pain is an irrelevance, I am capable of all movements required , you can read my ESA report if you want . I was cured by Capita, better than Lourdes .
Anyway the gist of what was suggested , is that he needs a shower to be fitted and also some form of bannisters fitting onto the stairs , not as easy as that sounds as the walls cant support anything . Because he lives surrounded by family all his care needs are met . But there isnt a carers  allowance unless he was alone with someone and even then we would have to fight for it . I did point out what would happen if anything happened to me and she informed me he would be put into full time care .
So this has made him even more determined to go on holiday, sometimes you just cant make my life up..lol

Observations

I had the pleasure of the schools sports day last week , every bit as cringeworthy as it was back in the day ...even though the day was a long long time ago . The headmaster was running round with a shovel desperately trying to fill in the mole hills that resembled the Somme , the grass had been cut but it resembled haymaking more than mown . But the thing I noticed is that the kids cant skip , has skipping died a death, has it become like marbles a playground thing that isnt encouraged anymore ?
Munchkin won by miles and hes only a squirt . Do the kids never use the field anymore? All rather baffling .
Affordable Housing ......http://everydayagem.blogspot.co.uk/   who decides that housing is designated affordable?  the wonderful affordable housing they tuck into most estates is usually tucked into some dark and gloomy corner or next to the land drainage pumps in Lincolnshire , but they now no longer have to build affordable housing into any development . So all the retirees from the Carbuncle in the Corner  aka London ,wont have to be troubled by the locals anymore, they can live in their gated communities after selling their 2 up  2 down and have everything delivered to their door , while pretending theyve retired to the countryside .
If I sound a little bitter and twisted its because our not so local post office and shop  has announced that they will no longer be selling food , they only sold basic items like bread and milk and a few groceries but to even stay open they have decided they can no longer afford to do that and will just sell locally produced crafts and tourist tat , the new post office contract no longer pays a wage only comission on what they sell so the hours are being reduced as well . It will be having to pop to the tourist hell that is Woodhall Spa if you need anything . We are now a group of villages with no services the post office hanging by a thread , all we have is endless delivery vans.
People who have lived here for generations are being squeezed out by endless streams of retiring Londoners , they dont use the schools , so they keep shutting , but they dont seem to think it through very well .
 Its all very well coming to live here , its beautiful but how you cope with life deteriorates  , it might not be a problem waiting 5 weeks for a GP appointment when your fit and healthy , What happens once you cant drive anymore ? theres no public transport .
 Shopping ? well what happens when you deteriorate to the point where the internet is a struggle . Do you want to be facing moving again in your 70s and 80s?
Mostly they have no idea how bleedin grim it can be in a winter , weve had a few mild winters , the Spring after a bad winter half the properties in the area are for sale ...lol

The Lackluster World of the Poor

Im still here!!  Just been rather busy ,the few days of nice weather have meant that working and major yard chores are eating my life , not a jot of crafting have i done and ive spent a whole 10p on thrift items , i do love a bit of Spanish Holiday tat . Mr Bah Humbug has threatened to have me sectioned if I get a donkey with a sombrero .

Its been a strange week it was the munchkins School Fair and Granny had to attend , now ive always been a ,so long as they arent maiming other children let them get on with it kind of parent and im just as bad as a Granny , dont fret the small stuff they grow up into great adults . So munchkin was rampaging round the school fair with the parents looking on in horror his teacher meanwhile just smiles and says he enjoys life so why not . But then it gets to the big raffle and they had excelled themselves this year . There was some pretty amazing prizes , his little friends name comes out and he proceeds to have a spectacular melt down when his mother leaps on the spa day prize and he wants some tacky toy .
Then a few names later the Munchkins name comes up and he marches up to pick a prize and he picks ......a huge sack of logs . His headmaster looks at him gone out and then says wouldnt you like to go out for pizza ? or bowling? The Munchkin draws himself up and says ..I have a use for them!!  he looked and sounded so like his great grandad it was scary . The bag of logs was bigger than he was but he dragged them back to the car .
When he gets home he passes Mr Bah Humbug on his way to his bedroom with his sack who looks at him gone out and asks if hes living in a parallel dimension.
So what did a seven year old want with a huge sack of logs? Well we dont have a wood burner or fireplace so even I was intrigued . When I went upstairs he has them all lined up on his bed wearing a pair of his underpants each, he then decided that he liked one particular log and this is now Loggy his new best friend who he sleeps cuddled up to at night . His mother then went up the wall because hed decided to put them under his bed to keep his pet woodlice in !! I'd sort of forgot to tell her about the boxes and jam jars of creepy crawlies he keeps hidden up there . I got a long lecture about encouraging his weirdness..lol
I have been informed by the Munchkin that Mr Bah Humbug has given Loggy a face and its currently in his school rucksack so mummy cant burn him...lol  We are also going to build a wildlife home with the rest of the logs , so he can collect more creepy crawlies !!
I'ts great being a granny !!!

This seems very appropriate today so ive dragged it out of the archives , apologies to those who have seen it before .
Maybe its the 100 year anniversary of the Great War that drew me to my Great Grandad , I can remember been taken by my great grandma to see his name on the war memorial . She was a women of legend widowed 3 times and as i also found out looking through birth and census records a mother of many . She didnt tolerate fools and idiots even into her 90s  and was still pottering to the betting shop and the pub for a lunchtime half of stout up until her death .
Its a sad tale really, Frank died in 1916 at Thiepval in France his body was never found , he was 26 and left great grandma with 5 children the youngest who he never saw was my grandad . I do have a very bad photo of him from regimental records indulging in bayonet practice , he does look a weedy little chap and had been unfit for foreign service at the beginning of the war , but because of the manpower that was lost he eventually ended up in France . He was a fustian cutter before the war working in the Cheshire Mills , having found his army number it was a simple matter to look at the Commonwealth War Graves Commission

 and this is what i found 

Training Mission

Well this is a Mr Bah Humbug tale ...
Mr BH has been visiting a disability back to work training center for 6 months now  a couple of days a week and has found it an interesting venue for his bad sense of humour . He was given a new trainer a couple of weeks ago , having had the last 5 months with a lovely lady in which she has been a huge help to him in boosting his confidence more than anything . Hes had a couple of interviews for jobs , one of which he was sure he would get till they saw the level of his problems , it isnt just a bit of a limp on some days .
The mindfullness  lady he had endless phone conferences with was as mad as a bag of rats , hes still baffled as to how positive energy is going to make his life wonderful .
Anyway, he has this new imported from another dimension trainer , he has only 3 weeks left and this bloke is of the school of, bad back = shirker .
Now his trainer has decided that Mr BH can be a bus driver ...mmmmm
now being  the evil sarcastic swine that he is Mr BH chimed up with .
Great I'd love to do that ! and some of the others nodded their heads .
So yesterday they had to attend the first part of his first aid training course , the job they have in mind for them all is disabled kids school bus driver . So there were a few differently abled attendees . The poor bloke running the course did the usual lets introduce ourselves speech .
Hi im Ian , im your trainer for today , im an ex paramedic .
Most were the normal im so and so , they then got to Mr Strange who goes to the same training place as Mr BH and has rather odd mental health problems , who proceeded on a whole rant about not needing to know his name because he had rights .
He then proceeded on with the course which went quite well classroom style learning till lunch , then they got to the Doris the Dummy CPR training .
They were all rolling around on the floor till they got to MR BH who pointed out that if he got down there it would be good training trying to get him back off the floor . They compromised with chucking the corpse on a table and him trying to kill it that way .
Then they had a tea break and Mr BH got chatting to the trainer who asked him what was wrong , he explained and the poor bloke was horrified .
You cant possibly drive a bus you'd never pass a medical for anything let alone that . Do you still have your driving licence?
Yes but it took a lot of arguing to keep it
then another bloke chimed up with
I have a provisional licence
Mr Strange was by now talking to himself in a corner and Mr Bah Humbug told them hed be fine , hed take his pills soon and usually calms down .
They then started defibrillator training and one bloke chimes up with !
Should I really be doing this , I have a pacemaker
The next thing they know is Ian the trainer Is shouting at the new bloke down the phone about did it not cross his mind that they have a duty of care towards the children on these buses and this miscellaneous bunch of cripples arent suitable .
Somewhat to his amazement Mr Bah Humbug passed the course , he has sent his new trainer an email telling them hes decided that hes staying with the group for an extra 2 months . And hes signed up for all the courses on offer !!

Politicians Needed (previous applicants need not reapply )

So the great unwashed has risen ?  the uneducated went to the polling station instead of Glastonbury ?
Bad choice there Dave, should have checked your calendar a little better shouldnt  you?
So heres another political broadcast from the Old Biddy Party .
Well this is all a bit of a surprise isnt it , my mother won an election !! Shes suitably horrified that her free bus is still been driven by a Rastafarian and that weird beardy bloke with a carpet behind his seat . Mother dearest we arent about to start cattle prodding people into the sea just because you dont like their colour creed or nationality . Your doctor will remain a nice girl in a headscarf who puts up with inherent racism every day of her life and feels no urge to join ISIS except after half an hour in your company .
Dave...there you and the missus were checking the sausage rolls on the buffet at your victory party when the results started rolling in ..ooops .. Your missus wore her victory dress and let a tear fall as you announced your resignation , what was going through her mind was "Oh shit " no retirement to endless cocktail parties in Brussels for us , now you know how the other half feel when theyre partner gets made redundant , hes going to be boring you to death with this story for the next 30 years at least.
Meanwhile George Osbourne has been hiding under the dining table with a calculator and a pencil trying to think of a way to squirm out of this unholy mess. He couldnt think of anything so now he plans to punish us big time by claiming he has to make these cuts to pay for us leaving  George, this may not be  quite as easy as you think . Folks who already have nothing , no jobs, no prospects, no education dont care anymore what you do  .
OK...Jeremy love , you got this a wee bit wrong if you had sided leave, the mob would now be baying for a General Election in which they would be pushing you to Victory . Though im deeply proud that you handed your deputy his wellies and sent him off to Glastonbury telling him everything would be fine ..Then proceeded to axe your party to bits , your training him so well in The Game of Thrones .

To our overseas readers ......dont panic ...we may have done the wrong thing in the worlds eyes and pushed the self destruct button on our economy , but we are a nation of scrappers and survivors and also a very nice and cheap holiday destination with very good exchange rates , low crime , few guns and multiracial taxi drivers just like at home . We even made Donald Trump welcome , him and Boris are going to make politics entertaining for years . while quietly behind the scenes the people who really run this country and yours, get on with the job ...< insert weird horror movie cackle at this point >

The Quiet Before The Storm

Sometimes this is the best bit of the day , just me and the ginger ninja before they all surface for the day , kettles on and im gasping for my first cuppa...lol
Sorry ive not been around much , work and chores have rather eaten my life this week . The constant monsoon season weather we have been getting has turned the garden into a lush green paradise , gorgeous to look at but you know that once we get a couple of decent days there is going to be endless garden work to do . The Strawberries have kicked in , huge berries but very bland and tasteless due to all the rain . The fruit trees are weeks ahead of usual and laden down , poor show on the plums but theyre always erratic .
We had to take Young Baldrick to the hospital the other day , it had been carefully plotted with his keyworker so that he didnt know we were going or that i was taking him , just his eye appointment . So when we got there he was with his latest girlfriend , who was basically his clone  , dyed black hair , lots of piercings jam jar bottom glasses etc etc etc , so just to forestall an argument we kidnapped her and took them both to the hospital . Boston hospital is every bit as bad as its reputation , even worse there is nowhere to park even in the cripple spaces , Mr Bah Humbug had been dragged along so we could park so I abandoned Baldrick and his clone and we took ourselves off to the Brewers Fayre  up the road to wait for them , after all she needs to know what she has let herself in for .
This is the first time we have entered a chain pub in years , Barton House . Strange experience. The staff were all lovely and helpful  then Mr Bah Humbug pointed out they did lunch time specials and that he had sold something on ebay so lets eat .  Well it was food , there was nothing wrong with it . It was just so bland i had fish chips and peas, totally tasteless the fish must have been frozen back in the ice age , frozen chips and frozen peas. The plates were huge and red hot  , it just made the portions look pathetically small and the food itself was lukewarm . Mr Bah Humbug had gammon and chips once again nothing wrong with it just bland . You could have unlimited soft drinks and
I somehow managed to get the button stuck on the ice machine , its was throwing ice everywhere , i told a member of staff and it never did get cleaned up .
This makes me sound like a right moaning old biddy , but we eat out so rarely its a major treat .
Mr Bah Humbug was more surprised by the condition of the place there were trees growing in the gutters , the windows were rotten , handrails not attached very well and the paving wasnt great , it was clean just very time worn , big holes in the car park etc etc . We didnt expect a gourmet experience but this is the only eatery at that end of town and there were a lot of people visably from the hospital .
That was my highlight of the week and it turned into a huge disappointment , it wasnt that cheap either .