Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Bitchy Witchy Thursday

The joys of rural living. Having to get up at 5am for your Xmas fix of the Great British Sewing Bee, rural broadband is great by 7am we are down to 1mg.  in the evenings forget .
Now sat drowning in a sea of work invoicing , babysitting a 5 year old munchkin who wants bacon and red sauce for breakfast?

So im flicking through the internet Daily.Mail,  yes im that person they warn you about a Daily Mail reader.
Can anyone please explain to me why there are 7 articles on the front page about the loathsome KK clan? Does anyone in the UK remotely care which of them is shagging who ? whether theyve had to photoshop that poor babies eyebrows or what frock dad is wearing on xmas day ? Is there no news today?
im sorry but why does the filter on the Mail assume that because im a women I should get the Femail headlines, a bunch of nonetities who I havent got a clue who they are .

Wait a minute theres Katie Holmes , Happy birthday chuck you need a big badge with I survived Tom Cruise or even better a real big badass tattoo , maybe we could start an internet appeal?

Everytime I see that Miley creature I just want to skewer that tongue to the table with a fork , has she no mother?  If she was mine id have bitch slapped the dozy mare by now , staged an intervention and stapled a burka on her , girl you are an embarrassment to your sex , Madonna did it all better love .

Meanwhile in the news  we have todays cure for cancer, tomato juice . Yesterday it was apples, talk about the obvious. Fruit and veg are good for you . I think weve grasped that one

The obligatory daily scrounger story , beggar living in £1000 a month flat , isnt that the norm for a broom closet in London ?

Gender Neutral toys in M&S by next year , give us a break . so there going to produce gender neutral  dolls? Sandi Toksvig or Ellen Degeneres in pink floaty frocks or am i just a bigoted oldie who doesnt  understand gender neutral ? explanations in comments please.

Meanwhile our dear leader Dave is horrified at 14 people living in a shed in someones back garden , I thought that was the whole idea behind the bedroom tax Dave?

So the purpose of the Daily Mail is to promote the Conservatives and raise bile and indignation in middle aged middle england voters ? maybe I dont quite fit the demographic theyre aiming for but I can always find something to rant about in the wretched Daily Mail

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