Never Say What You Think

You know  that  think before you open your mouth speech you give to the kids , the one my mother never had ever ?  Well I had a moment the other day when i told Mr Bah Humbug exactly what i thought and now i feel like dirt, the lowest of the low .
What occasioned this awful moment you may ask , we got up the other morning me, the 3 who were off to work and the munchkin , im pottering around doing morning chores and the youngest is snoring on an airbed in the living room , this is Mr Bah Humbugs special needs son ADHD aspergers and autism
 . Then i hear the boys laughing and sniggering , Young Baldrick had fallen asleep with his nose in his dads ipad they were taking pics and texting them to their dad , they dash out of the door and leave me to deal with the mess .
Now hes been here for 2 weeks and its been a living hell , insolent , surly , falling asleep all day long , picking on the munchkin , his dad picking on him , moaning and gripping that theres nothing to eat that he wants , that hes expected to pick up after himself , actually clean up after hes tiddled all over the seat and floor yet again etc etc etc .
Also theres the fact that we are living on £68 a week  plus the charity of the kids at the moment , im having to scratch cook 3 times a day , the fact that he turned up here with 3 dustbin bags of mucky washing and his mother sent him with a food parcel "because we eat weird" I dont call what he was sent with food !! a treat now and again more like .

I must admit ive been festering well for over a week , moaning he has no money to buy "bacca" was the final straw , I dont approve of the kids smoking even if they are adults, they really do go to the unused bus shelter in all weathers if they wish to indulge .  I did point out that we buy food not fags for wastrels!!!
 his reply ......my mum doesnt let me have any of my money , i get dla attendance and disability and she gives me nothing .
Now I can understand why not , because he isnt capable of dealing with money at all , but the fact that on top of this we are also having maintenance stopped for him and  we have no idea how long hes here for because his mothers not answering her phone , just did it .
So this time instead of keeping the peace , i let his dad give him both barrels . After an hour and a half I gathered up the munchkin from under his bed and left the building . When i got home at teatime they were sat there in surly silence glaring at each other . He has been staying up all night on his dads ipad after we had all gone to bed , the biggest mistake was leaving his viewing history on for his dad to see . his conversations everything!  I gather there wasnt a member of the family he hadnt been slagging including me , he didnt like his dad telling me this and went slamming out of the house . When he eventually he came home crying and wailing about how awful it is here and how horrible we all are to him , he says its because he doesnt like seeing his dad ill and a 101 other excuses .
his dad sent him out and said "what do you think?" And I told him
So now I feel like utter slime .
But the biggest truth is that I can sympathise with his mother 100%

Never Stop on a Monday

Just a quick wander in , I feel as if this day has never stopped , endless domestic servitude kind of day .Even Mr Bah Humbug and Baldrick have tried to be of some use and failed hilariously . Highlights of the day this conversation.
Wheres the wheel off the hoover ?
Wherever you put it its been snapped off since xmas!!
We need a new hoover
Sell a kidney then..............silence
just sometimes I wish you could have your partner adopted when they annoy you , he then anounced he was going to wash up , if  i didnt mind half of it breaking..lol.
Big pile of strange loaded into the ebay shop   http://stores.ebay.co.uk/katiesrecycle    it looks like im trying to socialise the world, not my usual fair at all and theres no others on line to compare them with , I know the miners strike always sells , so ive a few watchers already . There was even a few comics and film and tv bits among the political stuff so ive popped them on , but i will admit ive chucked tons into the recycling bin ...lol
I have secreted one magazine away just because i loved the cover, i'd quite like it framed but Mr Bah Humbug threatened to burn the house down if i did , Thatcher the Marmite of politics

So its magic tea out of the cauldron then start wading through the 7 boxes of bedding from the auction 2 weeks ago , some will be labelled and sorted for car boot ,some will be ebayed, some will be parceled out to the relatives and some will go to the ragman... a womans work is never done ..lol

Frugal Weekend

Ah the joys of being skint...lol  Im now getting to the weird and wonderful part of the poverty menu , currently ive a pair of pigs trotters defrosting in a hidden place so nobody realises what they are eating , im hoping to do something Chinese tomorrow with some of the meat, once ive cooked them to death in the slow cooker overnight, then maybe a variety of Brawn with the liquid and whatever meat and skin is left .   . Ive concocted a weird trifle type effort with Victoria plums from the freezer , the biscotti in the base are 2 years out of date, they had fallen down the back of the shelves..lol
I wont starve but Mr Bah Humbug and Baldrick are going to be whinging for England all through Easter , guess what I dont care its time they got a reality check on the financial state of affairs in the House of Nettle Knickers .
Still in the storecupboard
At least 2 kilos of rice
3 kilos of couscous
umpteen packs of noodles ,
several bags of flour for bread and baking
cooking oil tons of herbs and spices
2 kilos of pasta
enough casserole mixes and cup a soup to feed an army
This weeks grocery list came to £7.26 spent at the tin factory , bargain of the week 2.5kg tins of debranded rice pudding 50p  . The mint cordial for the munchkin is slightly out of date but he loves it 10p a bottle , lasagne sheets 40p ,all jams are 60p and theyre not cheap makes , 5 packets of casserole mix for Spanish chicken 30p , £2.40 for 24 tins of beans , plus the usual odd tins to try that Mr Bah Humbug likes , usually weird soups always 25p and under .

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the real challenge is the dozens of sachets of coconut milk i found squirreled away in the back of the cupboard  not quite sure what I can make with that ? 

Suggestions other than curry anyone? 

Benefits Land

Things have gone down hill so fast in the the depressing world of benefit scroungers this week that im not sure how to start .  Mr Bah Humbug has two  medicals in the next couple of weeks , this has sent him spiraling back into la la land , they will be requesting medical reports from his GP , his GP walked out last week , there is now no one at the practice that he has met except for the junior doctor who he ate for breakfast , so this is going to go really well .
Went to pick up  his prescriptions , we do not qualify for free prescriptions so we have to space them to one a week , we cant afford the money for a pre paid prescription card due to me not being paid correctly yet again!!
Sorry you must order his pills monthly as one lot

We cant currently afford to do this

That isnt our problem .

Where are the other tablets ?

We cant perscribe those

Why not ?

They arent on the company list ,theyre too expensive,  he needs to book a medication review

Could we see a GP ?

Theres no none urgent appointments for 4 weeks

Could I just ask a questions. what happens when someone suddenly stops taking anti psychotic medication?

AHHHH . I will just ask a GP

Dr Junior Dimwit appears from his lair.

We cant prescribed  these , only the hospital can prescribe these .

They were originally prescribed by the hospital .

Ah, your partner has been discharged from the hospital , we dont prescribe these

They were prescribed because they cant operate , he has to wait 6 months for the pain clinic , what will happen if he stops taking them suddenly, he isnt just on them for pain relief .

MMMM..I will go and look at his notes ...scuttles back into his lair

I will prescribe them now , but he needs to book a medication review AAARRRGGGHHH.

Our GPs has become the land of the useless , we have lost 5 GPs in the space of 6 months
What happens from here who knows , i feel as if im existing in a different universe these days

The First Sunday of Spring

Greetings , Ive been out soaking up the rays today , well the first rays i hope, spent the day babysitting munchkin plus two spares , so basically a whole day tied to the kitchen sink , theres been that many bodies ive been serving meals in sittings, not much help on the washing up front im afraid theres another mountain in the sink now that im hoping someone else might do .
Mr Bah Humbug has spent the day torturing his Baldrick , I actually caught him making him clean vehicles with a toothbrush !!! The kids meanwhile were digging a hole , something ive found kills hours with small children plus involves lots of mud  you can craftily seed the hole with a few dodgy foreign coins you have kicking about and they think theyre time team .
Ive had to sell a treasure because of the cash flow problem , First World War Frister  & Rossmann sewing machine sold in a couple of days, now i have the packing and posting challenge , should be manageable by courier.

Yesterday because it was freezing and in an effort to butter me up for todays babysitting , my daughter dragged me to the auction , we were very restrained mainly because we had the munchkin and her tiny car . they were actually selling wardrobes with the clothes still in them , a washer with the washing still in it and mountains of curtains with the hooks still in .  I know i shouldnt have but i purchased a household linen mountain for a whole £4 , we have gained 6  new towels  , brand new oven gloves and sheets , the other dozen bags will do for the car boot sale once it warms up . One weird lot that we had no idea what it was for £2 it turned out to be a box of umbrellas , tons of dog leads and a load of enamelware ? car boot methinks .
My daughter wins the award for weird purchase of the year so far , I did say take a look at the weird war magazines , next thing shes bought 3 boxes for £2 the lot , turned out its tons of weird Marxist and Communist literature , never take a politics graduate to an auction!! Ive being researching them on ebay and the weirder and more extreme the better they sell , some of it is quite interesting reading .

A Thrifty Week

Lets settle down for a good bitch!!
Well im trying to make the whole family curl there toes with embarrassment and shame. Ive dragged Mr Bah Humbug and Baldrick to the porn shop with some broken jewellery , then I opened an account at the scrap yard and sold the catalytic converter that fell off my daughters car for a whole £15 which was quite impressive for something so small that it fitted in a carrier bag .Nowadays theyre not allowed to pay cash for scrap it all has to go through a bank account so you must take photo ID and a bank card , its yet another government plot to stop people earning money cash in hand.
 Plus ive arranged to see a vintage clothing shop about the furs and some other things i had kicking around . Tomorrow I have an evil plan to bag up all the clothes they leave lying around and sell them to the rag man .
This may all sound a little drastic  but I have to find an extra weeks rent to get my two rent free weeks over easter, bless them I do love the Council we owed them 60p last time and they charged us for the rent free weeks!!
I must admit ive done a bit of thrift shopping over the last few days nothing very exciting and all for pennies . Couple of Lowestoft Calyx Adams Ironstone modern serving plates big hefty factory seconds I think as they dont have the usual tiny flowers on . A Terry Pratchett that I hadnt read (sadly missed) and a box of vintage baubles , theres also a t shirt and a work shirt for me and this lot gave me change from a £1 . More ebay listing tomorrow if i get the time , must get the rent money somehow ..lol ...im sure they will all thank me for my efforts on their behalf

A Thrifty Lincolnshire Childhood

Ive escaped down to the Christians for a cuppa and a bitch this morning with my friends , weve been comparing our poverty horror stories . Its always a relief when youre talking to people in the same boat ..lol  we discussed toast as a means of hiding the mould on the bread and crumpets and discovered that our mothers did just the same things , told us to shut up and enjoy the Penicillin because it was free .
 The means of telling if a yogurt was gone off , bugger the date if the lid isnt mounding your safe , if the lid is mounding , poke it carefully if it doesnt explode into baking it can safely go , my gran used to use gone off milk in all her baked stuff and she won awards for it .
Cheese , into cheese sauce mouldy and dried up bits will go, also very useful for quiche as the herbs hide any trace of mould .
My Grandma though was the mistress of thrift, shed been a single parent back in the 30s with 5 kids , I can remember her sieving  flour to get the weevils out , whatever happened to weevils? have they become extinct or are there that many residual chemicals in flour that even a weevil doesnt want to live there . Do you still get weevils in organic flour?
She used to make huge footballs of used aluminium foil , then sell them to the rag and bone man , she collected all the glass , newspapers and rags and he paid her pennies for them as well , now the council charges us through the teeth for recycling .
We spent the summer holidays with her each year and across the road was the local dump , back in the 60s villages still had any convenient hole in the ground for the dump , she had the farmhouse over the road that shed had since the 30's because nobody wanted to live near the dump, it took her till the 50s to buy the house and land with the money raised from  stuff she pulled out of the dump. By the time we were 9 or 10 we had it to an art form , we were up stripping cable every morning, I was deployed when the posh cars pulled in to go and look pathetic and ask for stuff as i was such a little weed ..lol ...Did it do any of any harm ?  I dont think so , all my cousins are still experts at getting by , none of us have gone on to be millionaires , we just arent aspirational in the same way as others. But we all suffer from being hoarders because we can see a use for things ...lol  

£1 Thrift Happiness

Sometimes its the little things make you happy , in the scheme of today that is..lol . Mr Bah Humbug has split his stitches (Contrary to his opinion , he is not dying its clean dry and just a mess) and were stuck at home waiting for the youngest to be delivered to the Little Prison Camp in the Fens !!! Once again hes in bother , skipping off college and doing weed this time , couldnt have come at a better time . Were struggling to feed the 5 thousand already , so another mouth to feed isnt good ,though  his visit has occasioned my son fleeing to his girlfriends for the duration so you win some lose some .
Big plus points of the week , dont you just love this vintage unused apron , not a keeper into ebay it will go , but it just made me smile .

Theres a whole £1 ive wasted on myself , like I needed more fabric? Laura Ashley sample packs , various other samples and a selection of vintage barkcloth cushion covers , that i can reuse the fabric of , even a bit of Sanderson

Another Thrilling Instalment

Well I wish I could show you my exciting week...lol  ...But there hasnt been much excitement. Ive had my nurses uniform on all week as Mr Bah Humbug  had a carpel tunnel op last week and hes been suitably pathetic and helpless in that way only a bloke can be .  A bit of a minor nip and tuck in his scale of treatment and he gets his stitches out today .

So then i can have my thrilling exciting crafting and thrifting life back..sort of , lack of funds is really cramping my style at the moment we seem to be lurching from one payment in to a zero balance on a daily balance and im sick of explaining that we cant get any help from anywhere so they will just have to wait for the bills . Sorry it aint magic no matter how many times you ring the situation isnt changing anytime soon . We are paying bits here and there but dont owe enough to go on a Debt Relief order or IVA . The whole of this months pay has had to go on Council Tax before they got us into court , most of this is charges , which really sickens me , talk about kicking you when youre down .
But the cupboards are reasonably full still, we wont starve , they wont evict us because theyre next on the list for payment and i will continue muddling along .
But its a bit bad when the highlight of the week is a 50p pair of shoes from the Jumble Sale , ugly but unworn what more could i ask for and they are very comfortable.  For those who think they will catch some terrible ailment the worse you can get is atheletes foot , they sell the powder in the £1 shop , so just dose the used shoes and put in a plastic bag for a couple of days

Meanwhile In The Real World

Domestic Servitude kind of day , my dishwasher is stopping at his girlfriends so we have lots of clean pots , caught up on the washing , cooked lots of out of date food with added approved food .
But its the fifth week of my five week month and the discussion this morning was if i could afford the fuel for work or did I need to save the fuel to do a hospital run tomorrow with Mr Bah Humbug . Would we have enough electricity to last till Friday and could we afford bread and milk for the week . Times are grim at the house of nettle knickers ..Mr Bah Humbug is getting quieter and quieter , not a good thing . I just think back to my first marriage when we couldnt afford anything to eat but my ex could afford a bottle of navy rum everyday , this is easy poverty compared to that. We still have tons of food in the house , the heating oil is still running and both cars are still legal .

Ebay listing bits and bobs , mainly tedious boring engineering and modelling man bait , did sell the big picture someones coming from London to pick it up . Ive sorted a few bits to list tomorrow as well .

Then I sort of got into this little Lloyd Loom basket , stripped it all down then realised nobody has half inched my staple gun !! I could have had it finished and in use today instead its stood looking sad and lonely in the corner

Weird Auction Item

So heres the item that baffles me the most from the recent auction haul not quite sure how it ended up in the endless boxes of magazines . A Do it yourself Flower Lamp from the 50s 0r  60s I would imagine, due to the wiring and the bakelite round pin plug . I have the large globe in the picture plus the slightly smaller round globe , not a clue what to do with these , there is nowhere I can store them safely in this mad house , nowhere is safe from the munchkin !! they would look awesome rewired with succulents or air plants in them , or even a mossy fairy garden , not a lot of good for ebay as no matter how well wrapped they wouldnt be postable. Decisions, decisions....lol

Then theres this Aynsley plate very horsy with heavy gold raised trim , I hate listing breakables but ebay I think .
Then theres a Prince William birth plate , sadly about as popular as Ebola in this country , every box lot has a recent royalty commemorative item that you cant give away, charity shop methinks .
Ebay has sadly let me down this week , one 99p sale..lol

NHS & Auction Time

Hospital again today with Mr Bah Humbug , he managed to go on his own yesterday only to be asked why nothing had been done in 18 months yet again . Because we dont call our GPs Doctor Dolittles for nothing mate , they are a patient led practice? think that means theyre all kiddie Drs and theyve done the theory but not had much practice ? anyway hes pencilled in for another pain relieving minor surgery next month .  

Just looked up "patient led"  basically its NHS speak for unless the patient asks for it dont do anything . Well that will work well if you dont know what is up with you wont it? Dr Google it is then ? I'm spending so much time already , booking his appointments filling in questionaires and forms and so much more , maybe i should open a GP translation service?

Now for the interesting stuff , the weekend auction haul had a couple of large boxes of childrens books , lots of movie and rupert bear etc , not in great condition so I will have to find a use for them. Ive spent a happy hour immersed in them and i have plans to cut up Rupert Bear . Theres a few gems that I will ebay into   http://stores.ebay.co.uk/katiesrecycle    when i get round to it and yet more steam train magazines , Dyson kits ?? etc etc 

Liked this and couldnt bear to bin it so put it on for 99p  it fetches silly money in good condition , it wasnt produced in the USA . Pop Up Books used to be a big thing on ebay but they have calmed down now 

Auction Time

Ive not been around for a few days , having spent Saturday at the auction room . Yep my daughter sent me out because ive being going stir crazy , had a busy work week and ive been driven steadily mad by Mr Bah Humbug whos had to sell his beloved trike having faced the fact he isnt going to be able to ride it again and cant afford the 3k to have the adaptions it needed . Dread to think what hes going to replace it with , but common sense isnt his forte .
Anyway there were a lot of sales on Saturday so i went to Market Rasen where i figured I could get a comfy seat and not spend much ,well i didnt have much to spend . I went more for the social aspect because i havent been there for ages and needed to talk to adults who arent full of painkillers .
Knowing the auctioneer well I knew hed knock a few £1 box lots down to me just to keep the auction moving , he knows i dont mind lots that will burn !! This auction was a catologue on the internet only one and because there were so many auctions that day there were a lot of  commission bids the posh stuff fetched in the £100s  but if there wasnt any commission bids it was going for a £1 or £2 a box , one lady got over 30 boxes of china for £1 each , so glad he knows i dont like china ...lol

First item I got was a large religious picture as the catalogue stated , but i got there five minutes before the start and hadnt viewed . went to pick up and this is what I found , A very topical Trial of Cardinal Wolsey the Tudors and the excellent Wolf Hall being on the telly at the moment I figure it may sell , the frames sort of nice in a battered silver way . I will give it a try as a buyer collect item on ebay but if not i will pay someone to take it away come the carboot season . Everyone swears by Facebook selling  but out here its just full  of kids clothes and games theres never anything else on it .
But then I made a fatal mistake i bid on a box of motorcycle magazines that i figured would keep Mr Bah Humbug amused for a while , I got the box then he knocked every box of magazines in the sale down to me ..lol I had to take the van on Sunday morning to collect it all then spent most of the day sat shivering in the back of the van sorting it all out . First sorting to be listed today several hundred Model Engineering magazines that i need out of the way they date from the 30s to 2006 , job lot buyer collect , they sell individually for a £1 or so each , im hoping someone will want them ..lol
Much more to show you in my next post

Benefits Land Back to Victorian Values

Now my current excursion into benefits land has brought to my attention some rather strange changes to the system . The change to Universal Credit which is being gradually phased in , will actually be of benefit to us . But for some the change is going to be a huge retrograde step that impacts directly on those in a Domestic Violence situation  http://www.mirror.co.uk/money/universal-credit-rules-domestic-violence-5188873
The most worrying statement in the article is that Job Center staff are going to be given training in how to spot domestic violence .
Im sorry but in their wildest dreams do they think this will work?  Nobody "spots " domestic violence at the 10 minute Job Center interview or on a phone . Domestic Violence lurks in the households that you would least expect with those who you would least expect . Its a crime that has no definition of class, wealth or gender . Im sorry but i can see that lives will be lost as a direct result of this change , paying benefits to the head of the household is a retrograde step that will send us back to the dark ages and save the government pennies . Im old enough to remember the Labour Exchange and the blokes who got the money and went straight to the pub , kids who had nothing and the terrified scrawny wives . Nowadays it will be straight to the drug dealer or the bookies . back then sex within marriage was often just to get a few pennies to feed the kids. When child benefit came in back in the 70s and it was paid direct to the mother it changed so many lives .
For all those who exist in a happy relationship it shouldnt be a problem , its often hard to see why people dont walk away from abusive relationships , but once children come along it can be very hard. , Womens Aid do fantastic underated work and the police have come on in leaps and bounds in recent years in dealing with domestic violence, but the Job Center ? cant see it can you

I Won I Won

Now as you know im not the sort of blogger whos going to be sent goods to review , im of that age where the best they would send would be tena lady and wrinkle cream!! plus they would get an honest review .
Then theres the competition habit that i try to keep secret , but ive gone by the 5 a day rule for a year or more just the free draw , press a button to enter variety , won the odd free commercialised item , egg timers, oven gloves, vouchers for foodstuffs that kind of thing . Its a standing joke that i only win things that arent any use to me ..lol ..Anyway over xmas , i decided to spend an afternoon doing draws because i was so fed up at buying everybody nothing for xmas due to the financial apocalypse we were going into .
Guess what ? In January I got an email saying id won a £500 jewellery voucher from  http://www.ilovealassie.uk.com/ and Women & Home magazine , still didnt get my hopes up because it does say that in a lot of cases you never see the prize and can spend ages chasing them up ,I let my daughter go mad and order what she wanted and theyre jewellery is all made to order . Yesterday we received a box full of gorgeous , beautifully made and packed , shes over the moon , I feel slightly better at the lack of xmas ...just need to win something for the boys now...lol
So thank you to the staff at I Love A Lassie for making this a beautiful and pain free experiance

KKK Fashion

Now , you may have realised that the Kardasian Klan of Klingons and Wannabees are quite often victims of my humour , though I suspect they may not see the funny side or understand it . I never even got a thankyou for offering to wedding plan for Kim and Mr misery Guts   http://kayerunrig.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/kims-wedding-planner.html

So lets take a look at the world of KKK fashion , now I have to say Mr K has excelled himself , his level of fashion resembles that 60s kids toy with the plastic stencils .
Plus theres the strange obsession with american tan tights , does this bloke have a fetish for wrinkly ankles? Why are the models wearing them on their heads?  do they use them to rob food stores to get a decent meal?

Looking at the pics , you get the impression that last night he realised hed penciled the date in his diary then realized hed done nothing , got his staff to pop down to the local army surplus grab a few coats  some thrift shop jumpers and a dodgy bunch of folks to model it all , roped the family in and got the blow up Anna Wintour doll out of the box and plonked it on the front row .

Poor Kim sat there in her tights and dodgy camo had to take her kid because they couldnt afford a baby sitter !! times must be hard at the Kardasian House

Benefits Land An Alternate Reality Story

Everyday the excursion to Benefits Land becomes a little stranger , today we had a lovely lady from the Council come to counsel us and help us fill forms in . The wonderful 40 page ATOS form is an experience, bless him it took forever and Mr Bah Humbug was losing the will to live , it seems that hes a hopeless cripple when you add up all the stuff wrong with  him , plus the effects of the wonderful array of drugs hes on . but as he puts it "Im just a bit lame and crazy"
I have to say the council lady was very helpful , she wants to know why we havent applied for PIP something weve never heard of . So weve sent off for another 40 page form for that and she will make another appointment to fill that in , havent a clue what it is . Apparently were entitled to it ?
I just hate that word Entitled , weve struggled on for years we've paid our taxes but we dont want to be Entitled , we want Mr Bah Humbug to get to the stage where he can work again . He has a meeting to see if they can offer him retraining in a couple of weeks , im just hoping they have something constructive to offer him . Mentally he seems a lot better but it doesnt take much to make him crash and burn .
Also she has suggested I apply for carers allowance , but I dont think hes at that stage yet , hes had a few really bad weeks , but usually he can look after himself  ok , plus I dont want to be his carer.
Im his partner , you just do things for each other why should it have the carers label stuck on it ? Im his dictionary , secretary , washerwoman , and companion  . Its for better or worse whether we have the bit of paper or not . yes theres days I resent the fact thats hes limiting my busy fun packed life , not that it was very fun packed before ..lol  But I know theres days when hes in agony and in painkiller heaven and cant even get out of bed . He came for a ride to Grimsby yesterday just to get out for a few hours , but he walks so slowly its hard work and when we get home hes on the painkillers straight away .
A friend commentated the other day that it looks like hes had a stroke because its all down one side , but no its just a damaged spine , that we have to learn to live with longterm , theres no quick fix for this one , its progressive but if hes sensible ( fat chance ) he should be mobile for a good few years yet . He says hes off to the vets to be put down when he has to have a mobility scooter and hes been looking up disabled adaptions for his trike ......

image stolen from internet

Realistic Valentines Wishes

Its amused me no end that nowadays its not just a plague of holiday adverts on the TV after Xmas , theres huge amounts of internet dating adverts , even the spam box is full of them , apparently theres at least 7 men want to meet me in this area..lol . Being as this is rural Lincolnshire I would think thats the whole single population of the area . Maybe its the bloke with the gun who hides in the hedges down the lane , nice chap always says good morning .
But once you get to a certain age theres not a lot on offer , many friends will be spending the rest of their active lives nursing a grumpy ungrateful old fart , you know the bloke a few years older than you , with a good job and income , that you loved 20 or 30 years ago . I sometimes think you should be able to send your ungrateful better half off to respite care for a week, sort of the nursing home from hell , smelling of wee and boiled cabbage , a shared room with someone who snores even worse than they do and blanket baths from a scary non english speaking male who resembles a James Bond villain .  Maybe theres a market for this , Dragons Den here we come .
So heres a few thoughts on online dating at a certain age.

1     If you havent got a teenager available to interperete the online messages do not even think about it !!!  You can get yourself in a lot of trouble just by not knowing what theyre talking about and trying to appear cool and knowledgeable.
Before you know it youll be meeting some sociopath  in a Travel Lodge carpark .

2    All men lie, or maybe they just live in an alternate universe where the truth is a little bendy , but equally dont post 10 year old photos on your profile .

3  Widowers are a good prospect , if they managed 20 years with someone there cant be a lot wrong with them , they may get a little weepy now and again but at least the competition is only a photo .

4 Blokes with kids , assess the kids not them , are the children as equally vile as your own , be honest do you both own a black clad depressed specimen , do you have a daughter who should be at the vets being neutered. Are they small children ...run away very fast  . or are they of an age when you both need another adult for support and protection.

5 Church and Extended family , they both know lovely men who they could fix you up with , be afraid be very afraid . There idea of lovely may mean breathing and walking unaided after all what more can you expect at a certain age ?

6 Be honest with yourself about what you expect to find , if you just need a useful male who can start the car on a frosty morning , fix stuff and marshall the kids , theres loads of choice out there , nope he wont look like Magic Mike , you may have to teach him a trick or two and he may come with baggage .

7   The gorgeous know theyre gorgeous , I once dated a bloke many years ago who was pure eye candy , hes now on his 5th wife .  I know why , he expected sex at least 5 times a day , didnt get it ,lasted a couple of dates..lol You reach that age where a cup of tea and a cuddle are more important .

8  This is the important one ...if you finally agree to go on a date pick somewhere with good CTV..lol , unless they have the body odour of a ferret , have used a photo they have clipped from a magazine or remind you of Dexter , give them a second date .  Remember that gibbering idiot sat across from you is 10 times more terrified than you are. If you fed it decent food and got rid of the comb over  give it a year he might be quite  presentable . You cant change a man but you can improve on what you get ............

Ebay and Age

Ive decided that the biggest depressing put down in life  is filling in online forms , the distance I have to scroll down just to find my birth year is scary !!!
So in my bid to pay a few bills this week Ive been loading Ebay with a few bits everyday , but i need money so I cant load it with my usual cheap and cheerful bits and bobs it has to be the stuff ive squirreled away that sells for a bit more , all the clothing bits did well at Buy It Now prices . But the big surprise was this little portable typewriter .Olympia 66

So keep your eyes peeled for these , the same model with cursive keys sells for over £200 , mine went for £40 to trade, who im sure will change the pica keys for cursive , it sold as soon as i listed it .But  i bought it for 50p for the munchkin to play with in the summer and i'm not a seller who can afford to wait for months for it to sell . Ive seen loads of these little black cases tucked away in charity shops and never given them a second glance ...Ho hum such is life

Lazy Weekend

Its been a domestic servitude and think about what to do next  couple of day  Theres a huge vat of Irish Stew bubbling in the cauldron and the whole house smells of food , its making me hungry all the time , its for tomorrow im informed .

Crafty challenge what do next ? ive my hexi quilt, thats got to the realms of never seeming to reach the end, but its not for anyone or a purpose so im not hurried .  lots of little projects half done but the urge to start something else is upon me .  I know one thing that i will tackle in the summer , the living room curtains are fading fast even with heavy liners, so im debating crazy quilting on to the top of the layers , ive tons of furnishing fabric remnants so it seems like a project worth tackling . Plus ive several laundry bags of pillowcases and scraps that need a purpose so i might do some quick machine quilting.

Meanwhile I will worship at the altar of commercialism and admire my Baby Oleg  While I read trashy romances on the ipad  http://www.redlibrary.net/     http://www.readfreebook.com/index.html