Plague 10

Now as many of you will be aware my mother is 84 and likes a drink , after all wine isnt alcohol and its purely medicinal ?  She was so chuffed when i told her the off licenses were staying open , she usually has a case delivered most weeks, but had built up a garage stockpile ready for Brexit so its not as if she needs any in a hurry . 
More worryingly she has now been isolating for a month and informs me she burns everything that comes through the door  with her weed burner on the porch floor , she had in fact charred a couple of premium bond cheques before having to dance on them with her slippers .The idea of her doing a bit of flamenco with her slippers on fire   meant I was once again in stitches and she got a huff on .  She is however getting short of groceries and is threatening to go on a shopping expedition , ive tried to get her a delivery of shopping and failed miserably , lots of posh farm shops around her but she wont entertain fresh fruit and veg  , she just wants the stuff she always gets and only from Aldi...aaaarrrgghhh . Still waiting  a response from Age UK in her town to see if anyone would do an Aldi shop for her .
I did see that they are sending out food boxes to the vulnerable from today but its not clear who they class as the most vulnerable, im awaiting confirmation back about it , the Government website being as clear as snot on that subject .  I did tell her this , her response its not coming in my house if it isnt from Aldi If its some foreigner delivers it im burning it in the porch ..aaarrrgghhh
She may yet make it into the national news with that one , its not a big porch . Sometimes i think someone should write a comedy script out of those of us who have lively, gung ho, elderley parents