I will blog again!!

Sorry ive not been around more , im currently drowning in real world problems . Work has taken its usual all or nothing spin , Mr Bah Humbug has been having a pretty bad time , they tweaked his medications and hes been struggling to stay on his feet plus mentally hes all over the place . Getting much sense out of him at the moment is a problem, then he got carried away on ebay bought himself a huge radio aerial without thinking about the fact we would have to drive a hundred miles to fetch it with the window open and a great big javelin hanging out of the van window , in snow and gales . Yes I know it cost peanuts , but i nearly died of hypothermia fetching it , so ive been hobbling round since .
Daughter has gone on holiday to Iceland, she figured it would be pretty safe , they dont seem to try to steal other peoples oil and they havent bombed anyone else in the world , so ive had the munchkin full time , hes not been too bad, a bit of lip thats all . Sometimes its easier when he has no court of appeal , he knows i mean business if i have to raise my voice .
In fact , this week has been so hellish that ive been up since three catching up on emails and invoicing , so I thought i'd just pop in and say hello , normal service will resume once ive knitted a turkey in my lunch hour . Life is so bad ive not managed a single thrift shop at all this week ...i need therapy

Xmas Ideas From Mrs Humbug

Well being as xmas is cancelled yet again due to another stunning foul up by the benefits system , which i shant bore you with today . I was hunting round the net for something a little alternative for xmas gift ideas and came up with these web sites

 http://www.topcrochetpatterns.com/blog/15-naughty-knits-that-will-make-you-blush

http://meaningfulmama.com/2012/01/day-2-tea-party.html

http://thenerdyknitter.com/


Even the not very crafty could tackle most of these , and i would imagine the wendy house tablecloth could keep small people quiet for hours . Remember there is nothing wrong with using £1 shop wool for these items , it washes well . Wool snobbery is becoming an art form , if your not knitting with organic yak wool your a failure i know , but hey its xmas and stuff needs to be chucked in the washer.
Theres thousands of free patterns out there , loads of free tutorials on youtube  . waste a couple of quid at the £1 shop you may surprise yourself .

In The News

Somehow the last few days events have dampened my urge to blog. i realise anything I say is my opinion and I've never been one to care what others think .
I grew up in the era of the IRA , where every year they liked to remind us that they were still there , but living in the wilds it made little impact other than scary images on the news . Although my mother was shopping in the Arndale Center the day before it blew up . Her comment " soddin hell , that means I will have to go back to Manchester next weekend shopping"
But thats the point isnt it . Paris will mourn its dead, repair its visable damage and get on with living , maybe once the dust settles the best thing we can do is book a weekend their and show support with our feet .
Terrorism only wins when we all cower behind our screens typing our support .

Weather its November?

Weird weather isnt it , today ive had to get my teen slave to drag out the mover and cut the grass before it got to knee high , but saying that ive got tons of washing dried and have had the doors and windows wide open all day . Went into town in search of the Munchkins birthday present and the xmas lemming fest has begun , went into George and they were queuing with trolleys heaped high with toys . What do you get for the small boy who has everything , Minion bedding of course !! i will Minionise his bedroom tomorrow while hes at school .

In the real world ive spent a whole 25p in the thrift shops on something gorgeous but useless , I thought this octagonal vase had had decorative tape stuck to it, I think they did too  . But it turned out to be a 1920s Crown Ducal roses design . Pretty but im not sure where i can hide it ..lol
Also Ive got a little runners up prize from Random house , the latest Lee Childs Jack Reacher audio book , first prize in months , maybe its the start of a winning streak ?

The garden is suffering from severe confusion ive Roses coming in to flower and the rhubarb is sprouting again . Its supposed to turn colder next week , we shall see .

On a slightly more positive note i will toddle off and do more domestic servitude , cook kedgeree for tea and get on with inane facebook games and a couple of good murders from the thrift shop and a wee bit of quilting .

Benefit Land Youth Unemployment

So lets have a small Monday rant , now i have 3 sons and stepsons who all belong to the army of unemployed youths between the ages of 19 & 22

It goes a little like this ..mine

Bad acne , bad posture , grinning idiot . Has a GCSE in cookery and lots of certificates from the college cock up he took part in . 

No the army wont take him, he tried , failed the medical , should never have played rugby at school , damaged crucified ligament or something of the sort .

So on leaving school he wants to join the building trade , they stick him on a welding course , he does a year passes the course, cant get a place on the second year not enough places .

Then they offer him plastering , which he loved did a year passed the course comes the second year theyve altered the goal posts he cant reapply, hes now to old because he had to do welding and he would need to go as an apprentice . He tried, we tried, no apprenticeship so he had to sign on for JSA

This farce has now gone on forever , Saturday he received yet another sanction letter for none attendance at a meeting that he attended , this is the second time in less than 3 months and they were sanctioning him till February ..FFS he was there , the agency said he was there, the DWP in that other dimension in which they exist says he wasnt there , bless him he was an hour on the phone till they found the missing attendance sheet  and agreed not to sanction him . The point of this rant is that every week he receives umpteen letters to attend umpteen useless meetings here there and everywhere they always arrive the day after the meeting because they are posted the day before by second class business post . Hes constantly threatened with sanction , its fortunate that hes far from thick and quite articulate . Hes now attended at least 5 how to write a CV courses , done a months unpaid work at Poundland a form of modern slavery for which they should be prosecuted . Went to work at the pork factory , which he loved , but that also turned out to be partially unpaid , because the agency he went to work for were bleedin useless and didnt pay him for half the shifts he worked , hes still arguing that one .  Hes just got a couple of NVQs in customer services in fact hes a whole file of useless qualifications , people want the experienced not the young. Being at the other end of age discrimination , I can really empathise with the poor sod . 

He just wants a boring grunt job hed turn up on time every day , makes a decent cuppa and hed never cause an ounce of bother . As one agency told him. hes just not pretty enough to get a job , believe me ive been there !!

Mothers !!!

I knew it was going to be a bad conversation when my mother left me a message to ring her urgently , first thought. well shes alive, but it must be important because shes rung for the first time in years , wouldnt want to ruin her low user tariff . second thought its not the police ringing, so shes not in bother yet again . Third Thought , Aunty Mary hasnt rung , so shes not in the papers .
After her rabid racist rant , we are just about speaking , but as she cant see that anything she says is wrong , its a waste of breath .
So here goes
I left you a message

yes thats why ive rung you back .

Ive had a funny phone call, from one of those funny heir hunter companies you see on the telly , at least thats what they say they are . I need you to check it out on the puter thingy .

Whos died?

Mary

Not Aunty Mary!!

No,no

Cousin Mary

But she died when I was a kid.

Well actually no they told everyone that , they put her away , because she was disgusting .well she was an imbecile, she used to make funny noises and drooled .

You mean she was mentally handicapped

Thats what they call them now , they didnt let them walk the streets in my day . Do you know they used to try and make me play with her when i was little?

As you may have guessed , the handicapped are another of her hate figures , I dont know why she just doesnt change her will and leave everything to Ian Duncan Smith  to provide for gas chambers for the unemployed, all immigrants and disabled.

The call was far longer and my daughter could tell I was boiling nicely . So I went off to do a little research online

Cousin Mary had died in June , in the care of the County Council in a very nice nursing home in the next town , shed been their over 20 years after leaving the mental hospital  , she died intestate and the money will be split between my mother and the remaining cousins all 5 in total . This has come as a surprise as my mother had told everyone she died years ago . But then she told the family i had emigrated to explain why she had moved house and we didnt visit for 10 years , she forget to mention that she didnt tell us where she had gone !!
 Then a thought crossed my mind my mother is the only one left out of the cousins they never married , shes as fit as a flea and the women in her family are practically immortal , theyre all doddering , I hope they left their money to a cats home or she will be sat counting her money forever

Diary of a Lax Blogger

I havent run off , just been a busy bee real work wise for the last few weeks . Day off today and what am i doing ?  sorting out a huge garden sack full of stuff out for the charity shop ,there would be a whole lot more going but Mr Bah Humbug being home all the time does cramp my style somewhat in the getting rid of stuff way . I have hidden a whole bunch of tee shirts of his that hes been bought in the last 10 years and never worn at the bottom of the sack, what i would really like is to chuck the two drawers of jeans he isnt going to fit back into this millenium away . But i have stolen some to make him a new car seat cover after i killed his in the washer .
Thrift wise ive managed a single trip to the Tabernacle in Grimsby on Saturday morning , to be greeted by a grinning little old lady "ive saved this for you " surprisingly I was quite chuffed , having wanted one as a child , ive gained a folding tartan zip up suitcase . Even better inside was a couple of faded tablecloths , so i think this is destined to become , decorative table cloth storage . Thats my excuse for keeping it anyway .

In a shocking announcement Coxs Chippy is no more !! this place featured in my childhood Saturdays back in the 60s  my mum worked on the chicken stall on a Saturday in Freeman Street Market for years . The event was fish and chips sat outside being dive bombed by pigeons and seagulls . It used to be packed, everybody would go in their work clothes stinking of fish . Granny would go for sit down fish and chips bread and butter and a pot of tea inside , all oil cloth table cloths and thick with fag smoke . There used to be an old biddy sat on a stool by the door grabbing the money as you left . Its being sliding into decline for a good few years , mainly because at nights it wouldnt be safe to open round there sadly , its fine if a bit run down in daylight . I have to say The Pea Bung over the road has celebrated by putting his prices up . So a sad day in Grimsby history has come , no more liver and chips , RIP Coxs .