Monday, 2 June 2014

Missing in Action

So I snuck away for the weekend , to a Scooter Rally . You know tents, waterlogged field with foot high grass , lots of blokes holding pint glasses and talking rusty   Females are required to cook , clean , bitch and drink alcohol
Right direction 2014 at Leicester , the sun started to shine as we packed up to come home . I spent the weekend cooking bad burgers and I have been christened the cheese fairy , cheese of the plastic kind  is compulsory to hold the greasy burgers in the bun .

Now let me explain about rallys they are a strange pastime mainly for men who have escaped from the missus for the weekend . Lots of ale , then more ale , daft games more daft games . Stunningly bad bands and dj's.
This year was exceptional !! on the Saturday afternoon we had a troop of Morris dancers show up? I think the minibus must have been passing and they thought this was a normal camp site or they could have come early for the country fair thats been held next week ? Bacchanalia were surrounded by strange skinhead types with glazed expressions and a few climbed out of there tents bringing their hangovers . they did soldier on bravely .

Better explain skinheads to the Americans hadnt I ? Our skinheads arent of the Aryan Nation type that feature in the documentries , ours are middle aged blokes who only get out during the scooter season , there also models with brown and black skin , so no racism . They love Northern Soul music Ska and Reggae , wear braces and dms and half mast bleached levis .
  We also have the bad Paul Weller clones another tribe that hangs out with us , they do named clothing, man bags, think they can still manage recreational drugs and most dont ride scooters because thay cant fix anything and they might chip a nail .
My other halfs tribe are Scooterists , they are the blokes who try to kit up and tinker with an Italian shopping moped so that it does a ton , they wear camo all the time , even on xmas day , if they own a Lambretta it will usually be seen broken down on the side of the road , they think nothing of stripping an engine inbetween bites of a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea .
so all in a good, if strange weekend ....normal thrifty service will be resumed later

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