Victor

 Now ive been a tad Victor Meldrew of late , mainly thanks to my useless GPs , calling them useless is being polite , but of late all i ever get is locums on the phone , other half gets the usual doctor on the phone im sure they are operating a two tier system , those who they have nearly killed or who have reported them get a fairly reasonable level . The rest of us go from locum to locum . having gone for blood tests the other day only to find that i was only there for diabetes and liver when i was supposedly due for loads more , gets the call from the receptionist the doctor needs to speak to me urgently . so urgently i must message her on ask GP . Great fine go online and its closed for the day, 2 days later i ask about my test results no reply for another 2 day finally get a phone call . Which starts with the bleedin locum

You are not taking your medication these figures are through the roof 

Oh yes i am theyre no bleedin use if theyre passing through in under two hours

you are not taking them please dont lie

i have malabsorption issues that worsen in hot weather of course they are not working read my notes 

there are no notes

Exactly !!!

well you need to increase your exercise levels immensely 

excuse me last time we spoke you told me i musnt go outside  due to the other medication , you remember the ones that say no sunlight that you prescribed!! So would you like me to just run up and down stairs in this heat ?

i will prescribe something else get your bloods done in 3 months and she hung up 

Other half pointed out i was getting a bit irate and as you may have guessed  im still going outside , dread to think what tablets shes left for me, probably tranquilizers