Brain Fried

 Its just me im sure . Useful son , whos been in his flat a few years has a new landlord whos informed him he needs to get out because he can get 500 quid a month with a new tenant for a his dilapidated flat with one bedroom in a listed building with no fire exit ...AAARRGGHH ...he goes back to work in a week and usually works for the old landlord to clear any arrears but his old landlord sold the building because it needs so much work to bring it up to code . Its a total clusterfuck the councils telling him the landlord cant do this as hes a sitting tenant and will be making himself intentionally homeless if he leaves  . But the blokes saying hes changing the locks and can take his stuff or end up with nothing hes already intimerdated the other tenant out of the next door flat .  He needs legal advice badly but he just thinks he can move here at a push and the council would agree because we have a spare bedroom the size of a broom closet , the trouble is his job is 15 miles away and he doesnt drive which would mean we have to take him to work and back twice a day or should i say i would be expected to . Living out in the middle of nowhere this would be interesting in bad weather . Just to make matters even more fun hes just found out his girlfriend is pregnant . Not a clue what to do about any of this and nobodies interested in my opinion about any of it anyway . I just want to pack a bag and run 

Mornin

 Well im still getting over the wild partying for my birthday LOL . I was officially 59 the other day and i was amazed i got 3 cards !! much appreciated , i may add . My daughter turned up and we ventured to Boston for a look round the vast array of charity shops . we had parked himself by crutch power on the war memorial steps so he could watch the world go by under the huge trees with a large drink and then abandoned him to his fate , he was quite chuffed he kept getting little old ladies come to chat with him . I managed to find a top, a couple of obscure books that are local history related and interesting to me and a half dozen dolly knitting patterns from the 50s . Which is more than ive found in months on my travels . Then in the afternoon it was a trip to the Kinema in the woods to watch Elvis , daughter was horrified it was in the tiny cinema and it was only half full with us wrinklies , shes no Elvis fan either, but it was a really good film and she enjoyed it as well . So a really good birthday and in bed for 10 . 

But it also made me decide that the Kinema with its air con is the best place to be in a heatwave and can anyone answer the question why do my hands drip sweat when nowhere else does once it gets to 40 degrees ?

Victor

 Now ive been a tad Victor Meldrew of late , mainly thanks to my useless GPs , calling them useless is being polite , but of late all i ever get is locums on the phone , other half gets the usual doctor on the phone im sure they are operating a two tier system , those who they have nearly killed or who have reported them get a fairly reasonable level . The rest of us go from locum to locum . having gone for blood tests the other day only to find that i was only there for diabetes and liver when i was supposedly due for loads more , gets the call from the receptionist the doctor needs to speak to me urgently . so urgently i must message her on ask GP . Great fine go online and its closed for the day, 2 days later i ask about my test results no reply for another 2 day finally get a phone call . Which starts with the bleedin locum

You are not taking your medication these figures are through the roof 

Oh yes i am theyre no bleedin use if theyre passing through in under two hours

you are not taking them please dont lie

i have malabsorption issues that worsen in hot weather of course they are not working read my notes 

there are no notes

Exactly !!!

well you need to increase your exercise levels immensely 

excuse me last time we spoke you told me i musnt go outside  due to the other medication , you remember the ones that say no sunlight that you prescribed!! So would you like me to just run up and down stairs in this heat ?

i will prescribe something else get your bloods done in 3 months and she hung up 

Other half pointed out i was getting a bit irate and as you may have guessed  im still going outside , dread to think what tablets shes left for me, probably tranquilizers 

Tourism

Now the main source of income other than farming here is milking tourists so this weekend has been the 1940s weekend in the next big village , glorious weather for it , spitfires dog fighting overhead  the Lancaster backwards and forwards umpteen times and thousands of extra tourists . Due to the road closures we can only travel in one direction , so its stay home and ignore it weekend . Friday they were setting up and we had to trail an armoured vehicle to the doctors which was little odd only to find vintage cars filling the carpark , they were only turning round to try and find the campsite they were staying on but still very strange. Theres a huge amount of work put into this by all and sundry , which is fair enough . Not something that appeals to me , to many crowds so i would imagine in the next couple of weeks we will be the Covid capital of the area , so now the heats here its up for 5 to get all the jobs done then cabbage all afternoon till it cools down then back out watering everything . i save waste water as i cant afford to up my consumption due to lack of funds , im trying to persuade himself to let me tap into the washer outlet so i can water all the veg at the back of the house and i have thought of putting a large plastic bowl under the shower as well but nobody wants to cooperate ...ho hum i will keep nagging 

Crystal Ball

 So I get my crystal ball out dust it off and look at predictions for later in the year ....

Come October the artist formally known as PM is still taking the piss , hes now claiming he cant leave because CarrieAntoinette is heavily pregnant and you cant move a pregnant woman , someone has pointed out that hes using the law for the traveller community that he was planning to abolish, this may also be the longest pregnancy in the history of mankind. Nadine Dorres has volunteered to be a surrogate , getting the cobwebs off her uterus at her age should be fun . 

Meanwhile Larry The Cat has delayed the party he had planned to celebrate the pissy rat Dylan the dog leaving and has decided to sling his name in the hat for leader . Priti Patel is still in the Home Office she wanted to be leader but they all hate her so its better to leave her making millions of plebs take a plane trip to Rwanda . Gove is off to the Priory and hes taking holy orders because making it to bishop is the only way he will get into The Lords  

On another thought 
Putin is still alive and planning to invade us to prop up Boris because hes his number 1 fan . just kidding honest 

Mummy Wars

 Oh Dear my mother seems to have declared war on The System , she tells me that Social Services are trying to get in touch with me , to insist that i must get Power of Attorney so they can access her bank accounts to make her pay for Care . They have told her she must pay 226 a month for an hours carer visit per week to take her shopping and shes told them bollocks . Her home doctor visit that they arranged didnt go well they didnt get the result they wanted . The doctor told her shes declining physically which is quite normal for her age and shes perfectly fine mentally just functionally blind at the moment . I think they rather hoped they could cart her off into care rapidly to stop her being a problem child .  The Blind Society have been out to see her and given her a white stick and loads of bright stickers to put on her cooker and microwave they also recommend over 400 pounds of adaptions she needs to pay for i gather it ended badly ...lol 

She has informed me that shes well aware it will all end badly , that most of the remains of the family will blame me, But she intends to go out marvelously drunk as a skunk in her own home as the off licence still does home delivery  and bollocks to the lot of them...Ive told her to be careful she doesnt have a fall pissed as they will scoop her up and thats it into drooly towers she will be sent never to escape .  I really do think that Social Services havent a clue what they are dealing with