So after a pretty good Easter its back to earth with a bang Tuesday . We had a zoom type meeting today with my daughter and social services , her physio and her rehabilitation nurse . ERRRRrrr well it was interesting . despite the consultant declaring that she has mixed dementia in writing it would seem we cant get control of her affairs , she would have to give written consent for Power of Attorney which she wont give to anyone . So because she is classed as self funding i will be liable for the cost of her care as next of kin . There is a 2 year waiting list for the other means of getting control of her finances . So every thing is up in the air at the moment , i stated laughing when they said i would be liable and they would take me to court if they had to . I told them fine , i own nothing and my only income is £70 Carers Allowance go ahead . i got the usual lecture on how she is my responsibility . Then they decided that the social worker would visit her this afternoon and do a financial capability assessment and ask her to sign a document they need .
This afternoon i got a call from the home Mummy Dearest had gone off her head at the social worker and because she was getting so worked up they asked her to leave ...lol Once again shes refusing her medication and her hearts allover the place
Daughter was their again at the weekend , she was asked to fetch her new clothes , nothing fits her anymore she is visibly wasting to nothing and is rarely lucid at all . Sadly i keep wishing that nature would resolve the problem
I don't remember but isn't your daughter over the age of 18 or 21 years old? So that means she would be 100% over the age of consent and is legally an adult, responsible for her own debts, so no, she would no longer be 'your responsibility' to pay her medical debts, her debts for care, etc as she is an adult. Might be different in the US on that compared to UK. Dawn P. Albany, GA USA
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I just realized you meant to cover the cost for your mother. Again, no, I don't believe she should be your responsibility either. No Way !!!
DeleteNever ever in the UK are families responsible for care home fees. There are 3 groups responsible local authority, health board and the person itself. Once a person is diagnosed with dementia they can not sign anything and it would not stand up in court. The social services need to apply to court to gain power of attourney. Suggest you contact the care home manager so she can let you know what is really happening. Your mother stated before dementia diagnosis she wanted no contact with you. That was documented in hospital I believe.
ReplyDeleteif only things like this wernt happening like this in the UK, but councils feel they can threaten and run roughshod over everything . The legal problem is because they have seen her paperwork and a copy of her will leaving everything to me , so yes i would be liable for debts accrued once she passes ,,,until then they can just threaten . If they gain power of attorney , they will just leave her property to rot it wont be maintained at all , this happens a lot
DeleteOne council I worked at used would pay for the care home if the person concerned didn't have any money, as in cash, to pay the bill themselves. The council put a "Charge" on the house for the debt, plus interest, incurred by the individual in the care home, When, after the death of the householder, the house was eventually sold the council received the cost of the care they had paid for plus interest from the sale of the house. Portia
DeleteI believe you have been incorrectly advised as regards being liable for your mothers care costs. No one is liable for another persons debts or care costs. Yes the local authority can put a charge on her house to cover the costs and yes this debt would then have to be paid from her estate on her death, and yes this would reduce the value of the reside of her estate to her beneficiaries, but you are not personally liable for her debts, and if after she dies her debts are greater than the value of her estate her debts die with her. You do not have to pay them. This will include the cost of her funeral by the way. Being someone's next of kin has no relevance to their debts. You should seek some independent advice regarding this as I do not believe that the person you spoke to explained things to you correctly - probably because they do not understand what they are saying so that they can explain it correctly. You can apply for power of attorney because as your mother has been diagnosed with dementia she will not be considered to have capacity to make that decision, so even if she did sign the forms they would not be valid. You can seek power of attorney yourself through the Office of the Public Guardian and you can do most of the paperwork yourself, for free, and again could probably then claim any expenses from your mothers "estate" even if she is still alive. Also, you could then rent her house out - I assume she owns it, otherwise the local authority cannot put a charge against it for her care fees - to pay towards her care costs, you will need power of attorney for this. There are two sorts of power of attorney, for financial matters and health matters, you will likely need both. You will not get power of attorney immediately, but it should not take 2 years. I urge you to get in touch with your local citizens advice bureau for a free appointment - it can be over the phone - to discuss all of this and get some advice. Do not pay for anything for your mother, as you are not liable for it. Also, how do the local authority know what is in your mothers will, until someone dies this cannot be accessed except in very rare exceptional circumstances, the local authority do not just have access to peoples will's, so do bear that in mind. Even if you do not wish to seek advice on your mothers behalf, you should seek it to protect yourself.
ReplyDeletemy mother handed them a box full of her personal papers when they first became involved , because shes blind and couldnt find what they needed . in it was a copy of her will
DeleteWe had this with my aunt . We had to apply for court protection , a very costly business. This took nearly a year in which time social services put a charge against the house . They was a nightmare trying to get us to pay . Stick to your guns
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