Plague 88

 Ive done well to last this long , its shut up for xmas time , so i wish you all a merry xmas in this weird reality we are living in , who knows whats going to be 2021 ? 

Sat here watching the solstice from stonehenge yesterday, did they really have to have a bloke leaping about in a hi-vis , was he perhaps a modern day druid ? Makes you realise that in the scheme of things nothing matters the stones will still be there whatever else goes on .

Xmas day i may be providing takeaway for various family  , my mother may be arrested for whatever weirdness she decides to inflict on her neighbours though i think my cousins must all be breathing a sigh of relief that she is isolating this year .

Changes for the better in the New Year ?  

Plague 87

 So now the next door neighbour is plastering allover facebook that she has had a Covid test and taken to her bed . If she does indeed have Covid she may have wiped out most of the village , shes at the pub all the time , round chatting with anybody she can strike up a conversation with and was proudly heard the other day saying that the whole village is her family and bubble . We are not spying on her she has a bit of a mouth on her and makes sure the whole street hears her business . We are not welcome on any of the village facebook pages , she is the administrator of them all and i always get rejected requests to join , so a friend told me about her covid drama ..lol  it is therefore official that im an evil nosy old biddy , please bear in mind that its not the first time shes taken to her bed with suspected Covid .

Ventured into the outer realms of Lincoln yesterday , did a top up shop for the stuff that didnt turn up on this fortnights delivery . Got a women having a go at me for not using hand sanitiser , so i purposely took off my gloves and wiggled my horrible scabby mutant hands at her , she practically ran . Psoriasis and hand sanitiser dont mix well , add stress and im a bit buggered at the moment . The shops were brimming with stock just the usual random gaps here and there , nobody appears to be buying much xmas food yet its all dated after xmas so we may have a wild frenzy next week . The only shop that was busy was M&S food . Big queue but i needed fruit , if i order from Morrisons it seems to have one days date on it and to have been kicked round the warehouse . M&S was full of pensioners with trolleys full of bottles and posh biscuits .

Had a wrong number the other day and it was Kelvin wanting to talk to IT , i had him going for a whole 10 minutes before he twigged i really wasnt IT .  I did point out i was a little old biddy from the fens at which point whoever was in his office collapsed howling . I guess i was on speaker phone . I did wish the poor lad a Merry Xmas 

Plague 86

 Not quite sure where to begin its been a funny old week , with real world friends and acquittances along with those ive spoken to for years on the internet dying like flies , not a Covid death among them all but still a grim week .

Mr BH has broken ribs yet again , he thinks it happened at his last scan appointment but its just an everyday nuisance happening , hes mainlining hard drugs it will knit but it takes time . Then he had to wait 5 days for a urgent chat with the GP about his scans , when she did eventually ring she accused him of being an alcholic yet again , then told him not to worry about it but he has an aortic aneurism and will need a scan every three months , just ring for an ambulance if he gets severe stomach pain . Then to cap it all she asks if hes considered signing a DNR . By this time hes sat there in gobsmacked silence. Still absorbing the fact that he has yet another life threatening ailment  I keep waking up in the night to check hes still snoring  , so lack of sleep is making me very strange 

Concentration level zilch im afraid , i just want a quiet xmas with us , but the best laid plans keep going wrong , yesterday useful son ended up in the back of an ambulance  with a suspected heart attack hes only 26 , hed been trying to get any response from his GP for 3 days at his ever worsening chest pains , when he spoke to them they just said ring an ambulance now .  Thankfully its turned out he has an infection around his heart that has gone into the muscles between his ribs hence the breathlessness and chest pains , hes home with a sackful of pills .

Mother is still scuttling round bringing joy to her neighbours she informs me shes popping bags of cat poo through their doors at the dead of night , electric shocking them isnt working ............Family who needs them?

Plague 85

 So here we are all waiting for the wonder vaccine thats going to save the world ? Time will tell I think , for most i cant see it killing people in the streets but i can see its being used to scare people into herd behavior , I do think our government has spent the last 9 months conditioning people to obey and its becoming very scary. The very nature of coronavirus is to have many strains and to mutate , so will the new vaccine cover just the main ones at the moment , or in a couple of months will it merely kick up a new variant worse than the last . Will Covid just become endemic in the population with the death tolls varying between winter and summer? 

Equally scary is the fact that many like my mother are terrified to go into hospitals and doctors because once your in there you will never see your family again , she has a point, a friend of hers had a fall at home , she lived in a council bungalow the council promptly got rid of all her belongings and relet the property because she had been diagnosed with Covid.  Err the Covid was asymptomatic and she caught it in hospital , she is 90 and has no relatives all she did was break a leg something she was over with in a few weeks but she couldnt be released from hospital because she was still Covid positive . Shes now stuck in a care home arguing with the Council over what has happened , she points out shes fitter than most of the staff and she intends to sue . Well at least its given her a purpose in life .

I did have to venture out yesterday to take a food parcel to useful son , his sister dobbed him in for borrowing off her , he didnt tell us that hed lost his job again due to the Covid lockdown of Liverpool where he was contracting , Universal Credit being what it is hes unlikely to see a penny this side of Xmas , at least he made enough to cover his rent for a couple of months . We met him in Lidl carpark and he came to carry my shopping bless him , Lidl was heaving you couldnt social distance at all , not a toilet roll in the place , its the strange shortages at the moment , quite glad ive bought a nine pack every time i ventured in over the summer . 

Young Baldrick has come out of the woodwork to talk to his dad , i gather when isolating was mentioned he just kept saying he has a lanyard and none of the rules apply to him ........ffs  doubtless he plans to wipe someone out for xmas , ive suggested if he turns up he can eat in the kids Wendy house in the garden . 

Plague 84

 Its looking a bit bleak out there today through the cat snotted windows , but did manage to get loads of towels dry yesterday out in the arctic gale , i gather we are to expect snow in the next few days , dont have to go any wear  so that will be a look out the window for the next few days . Got a NHS letter stating we must join the queue for the gazebo in the doctors carpark on Saturday morning for a flu jab  , not happening im afraid , his walking is currently diabolic let alone standing for hours in icy rain and wind or maybe snow , you dont get a time just a day , if they want him that bad they can give it to him inside the surgery when he goes for yet more blood tests , because they did the wrong ones the other day . The NHS letter that came also had another helpful letter telling you to keep your bleeding windows open all the time ...WHAT its bleedin winter , do they really pay folks to come up with this tripe or were they working from home in the Caribbean 

Then theres the great Scotch egg scandal you can now go and get lathered in a pub correctly social distanced wearing a mask and eating a scotch egg because its classed as a substantial meal??  what next you can serve christmas dinner to your family as a takeaway?  so long as the windows are wide open and it includes a Scotch Egg? 

In my bid to have something to talk about with my batshit crazy mother on the phone, i go online and glance at The Daily Mail , she has the more rabid pensioner version delivered , amazed to find that Boris gave his dog Covid , so thats it every dogs home will be full within weeks and that its lawyers and luvvies stopping Priti Patel deporting everybody back to the Caribbean, of course all those they are deporting are rapists and murderers ..ermmmm if she gets her way over this its not to long before she deports everybody with a sun tan for getting a parking ticket . She has rather made a rod for her own back by the bullying business , she rather reminds me of Verucca Salt screaming to get her own way all the time . So yes those who are guilty of serious crime should be deported but not when its still a legal matter .

Plague 83

 So here we are yet again Teir 3 lockdown , not sure what possible difference this will make to us whatsoever , still go shopping once a fortnight and hopefully get a delivery from that wonderfully reliable retailer Morrisons , the little girl who delivers thinks shes figured out what the problem is and why we get such weird deliveries . There system shows things that are out of stock at the nearest Morrisons which is Lincoln , but our deliveries come from Spalding store bleeding miles away so it cant marry what its sending up with your order , they have certain substitutes that are universal and others where the crap system just puts in random items for shits and giggles , apparently it only happens in the villages around here .  The other home shopping problem im trying to figure out is why i keep seeing an Iceland delivery truck in the village but we cant order from Iceland ? 

I did pop into Lincoln last week , a few shops are open and M&S was heaving with pensioners in fact Lincoln seemed to be inhabited with the very elderly laden up with xmas stuff , probably getting done before they release everyone . I cant think of any reason to go in again before xmas . 

Young Baldrick didnt reply to his xmas invite thank god and being Teir 3 is as good as any reason for him staying away. Evil rumour has it hes shacked up with some bird making babies , bring back Jeremy Kyle hed be a regular guest .

Next Door but one has Covid shes still at home but very poorly shes an ex double transplant patient who had the grandkids round for a birthday party two weeks ago the day before their mother tested positive , such is luck