Wednesday 10 April 2019

Infinite Brexit

Do you get the impression that we will all go to our graves tapping our feet waiting for Brexit to take place? Its obviously been decided that if they drag it on forever more Leave voters will die and the youngsters will  all be gagging to be totally  European, dont be surprised if the next move in this endless saga is to bring in the vote in for 16 year olds most of whom would vote for anything that doesnt  upset their phone contract. 
In the real world , useful son went to pick the keys up for his flat only to be told that he couldnt have it because he has insufficient income ..beggers belief that the Housing Association would let it get to this stage before deciding this , they informed him he cant bid on further Housing Association properties unless his income doubles , but even if he gets a job at minimum wage it isnt enough for him to be able to rent even with Housing Benefit, because the Housing Benefit will only afford him enough to pay a Council Rent and theres no available one bedroom properties  in this council area ..AARRGGGHHHHHH

A Mother Tale
My mother in her infinite wisdom , decided to tell me the tale of her bothersome vagina last night , i was crying with laughter on the phone so she got a huff on and hung up on me .
Relationships between my mother and the medical profession tend to be a bit fraught due to her having no filters on her mouth , after her recent brush with them and her alzheimer's assessment which reached the diagnosis we as a family had reached years ago that shes just a right old bag who likes her red wine to much .
 Anyway back to her vagina ..apparently its turned into a prune , this has been caused by her giving birth to me????
So she decided to go to Superdrug in need of a cure asked the teenage assistant where to find lubricant , then went off on one because the assistant gave her a funny look. From what i can gather said assistant sent her home with some weird sexual lubricant that contained glitter she then went to the hospital the following day for her Consultant  to ask her why shed dosed her lady bits with enough glitter to lubricate a xmas tree . At this stage in the conversation im crying on the floor and just couldnt help myself  and said have you considered a tin of WD40 next time... She hung up


10 comments:

  1. Good to know that your mum brightened everyone's day! (Including mine.)

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  2. You couldn't make it up! Best laugh I've had this week.

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  3. Sorry to hear of your sons problem. I am 'trying' to cope in a private rental home on 'council' rates housing benefit and it's crippling me ! trying to get a council property when you are an old wrinkly is just as bad (if not worse) than if you are a youngster with a low income - old wrinklies only have pension and sometimes pension credit. It's a vicious circle.
    Hope he finds somewhere soon.

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  4. Oh my god Kate, that had me hysterical, so funny

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  5. OMG! That young clerk had a wicked sense of humour!

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  6. shame you dont do home helps for the elderly , mum needs one

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  7. Housing Associations, along with EU, should be dismantled!! Always thought it was a bad idea, did some "partnership" work with some a few years back and thought they were a complete and utter waste of space, money, energy and humanity. Wish my mother has been so much fun!!!

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  8. OMG that is hilarious, it's goodin a way your mum still cares about her vaginal comfort 😂

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