Therapy

 I suppose my lack of Xmas spirit stems from my mother and her Hyacinth Bucket Xmases we had as a child , back in the 60s and 70s, fun wasnt welcome at those occasions , it was having to be a colour co ordinated member of the family , having to sit on the knee and be polite to my abuser , a tinsel xmas tree because she couldnt be doing with the mess and my poor old dad never being good enough or getting nothing but abuse from her , if she wasnt the center of the universe at any occasion we both suffered . Between that and the 100 a day clouds of cigarette smoke , it was menthol so it was good for you and the booze that didnt bring out the good in any of them i spent every second i could get away from them hiding under my bed crouched on the lino , just hoping my uncle didnt get sent to find me . I was so relieved when i aged out from his attentions and he found a younger niece to play with .  A few years ago i bumped into my Aunt and probably out of sheer malice asked how my cousin was these days her face was horror struck and she just garbled that she hasnt seen her in years .