Well on the 22nd mother left the building after a row with her carer about them putting thickener in her cuppa tea . They went back an hour later and she had sneaked off with no fuss or bother , please no condolences , i wasnt sure how i would feel about this but my only emotion is relief . My daughter and other family are the ones grieving . My son has decided to christen dec 22nd dead granny day and we are to celebrate with enough alcohol to fall over and eating maltesers till we throw up , his grandmother hated him and made it very clear from when he was small . It being xmas everything is a bit of a cock up. The coroner got involved because they are very keen about deaths in care because they covered Harold Shipmans area , i had a slightly odd conversation asking if i had and doubts about the validity of her death and any suspicions of foul play , none whatsoever so they agreed they didnt need to do an autopsy and we could apply for a death certificate but theyre shut for xmas so more faff about , we found out that the undertakers who she had specified had retired but the People at Golden Charter who she had a prepaid funeral plan with gave us another one , they were really helpful , but nothing can progress and its unlikely to do till late january because theres a backlog. My daughters got her organising head on and mothers solicitor isnt answering anything so i presume theyre off till after the new year . We shall see life goes on , im just glad that her money will cover her care home expenses and anything else that arrives , i never wanted it and she was always well cared for which was all that mattered . But im sure there will be a few folks popping out of the woodwork questioning where the money has gone
You said no condolences, but I'm sending hugs because of the mountain of paperwork heading your way.
ReplyDeleteWe've lost two family members just before Christmas, a few years apart, and for me there was always a sensation of being slightly out of sync with everything. It's a strange sort of gap in the festivities while everyone around you is pursuing 'jolly' with grim determination.
Fingers crossed that soon you'll be able to draw a line, push everything mother related behind it and move on. Take care.
Sorry it is all so upsetting - especially at this time of year - and that things won't be more settled until the end of January. It is never easy, no matter the family history. As you say - she was well cared for - despite her ways and that is all you could really do. You always have a lot on your plate so try to taje care of yourself for a change.
ReplyDeleteI sympathise with your feelings. I was my mother's carer (in my own home) until she died, and I remember feeling almost euphoric at the release death brought to both of us. It didn't lessen the loss and it was a surprise when it happened.
ReplyDeleteAs you say your Mum was being well cared for and that's all you can hope for. Its definitely more difficult to arrange things at this time of year, but hopefully all will be sorted soon. Hugs Xx
ReplyDeleteI can imagine the relief - of course timing is unfortunate. And I mean it in the kindest way. Your life WILL be easier at some point (after all paperwork and stuff). Yes, there will be feelings, good and bad, but that's life (and death, too). I hope everything will work out eventually.
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