Doctor Tales

Well heres a surprise , we saw a useful member of the medical profession yesterday, a wee child ,bum doctor consultant , he informed Mr BH that he is 99.99% sure that he doesnt have bowel cancer or anything else sinister down in the depths , but will book him another CT scan to confirm last years MRI scans , he says that all the bottom half problems Mr BH is having ,from the gradual deterioration of his spine discs and bone causing more and more nerve damage .  He says they cant do a colonoscopy as it would do more damage than good  because of the nerve damage and hes somewhat baffled that a GP  would suggest this . We did point out that the said GP had sent Mr BH for physio because there is nothing showing on his MRI to show why he is in constant pain . We got a raised eyebrow at that point .  So thats one appointment down and 2 more scans to add to the list hes awaiting .
We are still awaiting the results of his head CT its been sat at the doctors for over a week but he hasnt been able to get an appointment , no change there .
Here is a tale told to me by Mr Bah Humbugs friend , hes a bloke that doesnt bother his doctor very often but he recently went into his local GP surgery to book an appointment , next to reception was a very large poster stating you must book 2 appointments if you have more than one problem , so he asked for 2 appointments only to be told he couldnt book 2 appointments they needed  to be booked for different days and times and he must ring at 8.30 in the morning to book each appointment they no longer book appointments at the desk .
Now Mr BHs friend works and is unable to ring at 8.30  every day until he gets an appointment so he pointed out this fact , he was then told if he was at work he obviously didnt need an appointment .
At this point he had to walk away .
He managed to ring up 2 days on the trot only to be told there were no appointments, on the third day he finally got through as far as the triage nurse who told him to ring again tomorrow to take paracetamol and fluids and go to bed .  at which point he pointed out his testicles were after 5 days of trying to get an appointment, now the size of a football and the paracetamol wernt doing a whole lot , they sent an ambulance!!! he was at work !!