Monday 20 April 2015

Benefits Land ,,,Yet Again

Its hard work being one of the scum of the earth , life as a benefit claimants taxi driver and minder seems to have eaten every last minute of the past week . we had the glorious Atos medical now run by another company that are American and seem to employ lots of retired nurses , I have this nightmare where my mother decides to come out of retirement and persecute the poor and injured .
Anyway heres the tale for your amusement . The medicals are held in town at a building with no parking and near a busy junction where you carnt drop anyone off ...AARRGGGHHHH
So I have to park Mr Bah Humbug on a wall at a nearby garage with young Baldrick to mind him , you go off to park only to find that the only parking is a 10 minute walk away in a multistory with no lifts . Trot back and drag Mr Bah Humbug down the road to the building . Get to the door which is camera and buzzer access and its blowing a gale , this means hes now coughing for England because you guessed it hes got the man flu from young Baldrick and you cant change the date of the medical its an instant fail if you do . When we get in hes tears streaming down his face, cant breath and cant get his words out , the women on reception asks Young Baldrick to leave because youre only allowed to bring one person with you , we point out hes Special Needs , she looks him up and down and suggests he sits on the wall outside , they have cameras .
Once you sit down you notice theres lots of other groups of three people waiting , then realise there interpreters for the others there , yes we were the only English . The lady who did the medical was lovely , I think he scared her to death , he cried through the whole thing then excelled himself by nearly crushing her when falling off the bed shed asked him to climb up onto .
Did he pass the medical ....well we await the verdict with interest
On a plus note he passed last weeks PIP medical and will now be receiving a small amount of disability payments for the next 3 years any increase to our income is gratefully received at this time , were going to spend it on wild living , our first jar of coffee in months and his luxury purchase a bottle of Heinz
But I have to say that Disability is such a huge time eater , that ive not managed to get to a single car boot sale yet this season , at least we are finally rid of young Baldrick hes gone home till his next escapade , mainly because he and his brother had to be parted last weekend as they came to blows and he rang his mother moaning . I must try this technique when ive had enough of him . Its so nice to go to the loo and not have the seat either up or tinkled on
David Cameron's post election job  

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