I watched a programme about those trying to gain a place at the Invictus games last night , for those abroad these are games for disabled veterans they are being held in the USA this year . They talked to the partner of one man who had lost a couple of limbs to an IED and had a black hard time coming to terms with it . She said it affected everyone in the family , there were no days out as a family etc etc .
He also talked about the mental health side of what had happened to him , how he couldnt see any point in his existence etc etc.
There are no comparisons but a lot of parallels in what Mr Bah Humbug and we as a family are having to go through . He goes to some deep dark places in his head at times , the tablets help a little but not a lot , when hes hurting hes bleedin evil to be around , he says the pain never ever goes away and they have told him it will get much much worse .
They did tell him he could self request counselling but he refuses, because he says why would some middle class do gooder understand that this is life over , no amount of positivity will make his situation any better.
He did have a wellbeing co-ordinator who was at best useless , she suggested he make use of a free gym pass but he cant go to the gym his unstable vertebrae put pad to that , he has a set of exercises he has to do each day. He cant walk very far at all , it is just yards then he spasms and hes stuck there for however long it takes to unspasm . He can climb stairs but struggles to get down them because he cant feel his feet at all , any slight slope upward in a pavement and he struggles with his balance . He cant have crutches or sticks because his arms are held on with plates and pins and his lack of feeling in his arms and hands gets ever worse . His last operation did a little it stopped his arm spasming, but it now feels like hes got boxing gloves on all the time .
But what has occasioned this negative rant ?
The other day we had the Jehovah's Witnesses round two gentlemen of a certain age , who for years have visited me in this rural end of nowhere every few weeks , im not about to join them but theyre a pleasure to have an intelligent conversation with .We were discussing Prince and his recent death and how Jehovah's Witnesses dont eat black pudding Mr Bah Humbug staggered out to see who i was talking to as i was gardening, as they left he said , "do you realise theyre the first people other than us ive spoken to in nearly two weeks" how sad and awful is that.