Tuesday 29 December 2015

The Last Thrift

Of 2015 that is !!
 I dont do resolutions and i cant afford to give up thrifting ..lol
Twas the week before xmas and i popped into the Bridge Community Venue and what was sat there looking sad and lonely for £2 ?  plus a gorgeous metre of retro fabric for a whole 10p


 A tatty huge 3 drawer DMC storage unit needs a revamp methinks, ive thought about it all through xmas and not a single inspiration has struck , total mental blank probably caused by the fact that the entire house is now infested with Minions , mugs ,clothing, cuddly toys every which way you turn , theres even a Santa minion on the top of the xmas tree . Nothing to do with me , but the big kids have problems I think .
I had my xmas highlight last night , Mr Bah humbug took me to the movies , Star Wars filled with geeky people and far better than the hype , even though i cried , shant tell you why wouldnt want to spoil it . But we went to the Kinema in the Woods a totally weird  experience its a complete 1920s cinema , with an organ that appears during the interval , it was a bit surreal  the organist seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much I expected him to turn round and be Vincent Price , it was great but all very creepy why this has never been used as a movie set i dont know , its made for horror . The car park is next to the derelict spa buildings and theres a huge creepy woodland surrounding it




Saturday 26 December 2015

Xmas 2015

What can I say, it was interesting ..
Xmas Eve highlights were an envelope from Lincolnshire Police , that i thought was a speeding fine , so promptly had a meltdown with full hysterics in front of my son . He opened it , raised his infamous sarcastic eyebrow and said
Have you reported something to the police of late ? because this is a customer services survey ...DOH
How many cases of hysterics has Lincolnshire Police caused sending them out in the same envelopes as speeding fines !! or is it just me?
Then to cap everything last thing on Xmas Eve the central light in the kitchen died , not just the strip light packed up, the fitting died , where do you get one of those on Xmas Eve night ? So Xmas Day been grey and gloomy I had to cook by an extension lamp , the cookers in the darkest bit of the house so they gave me a torch so check if things were cooked bless them , our cookers not posh enough to have a light in it .
The Smallest xmas dinner ive cooked in years just 5 of us , positively a snack by our standards , it all went well apart from me having a weepy while doing all the veg and prep . Last year Mr Bah Humbug was able to help with everything this year he couldnt even stand for long enough to do a sink of washing up , cant peel veg even.  As he said he can still make a cup of tea so i cant have him put down yet , but it just hit me badly .
Today another small buffet and a big ham to prepare , so far ive 7 to cook for so another light snack meal . Its been a quiet but good xmas if a little bittersweet .

Saturday 19 December 2015

Welcome to the Snot Factory

Yes in this wonderful xmas season , whats my gift from Santa? you guessed it , yards of snot , dreadful virus type , hot cold , hot cold , running with sweat . Tons of work to catch up with now and only 2 working days to do it in...AARRGGGHHH .  House that resembles something that the tenants ran away from , dont even get me on the subject of the washing machine!!!!
On second thought lets go there .
Do not panic after the fourth flood in two weeks , the smell of mould in the kitchen is starting to fade and you dont have to wear wellies all the time anymore .Me and Mr Bah Humbug  had THE CONVERSATION
 Im sorry I think the washer may be terminal

Well we cant afford a new one

Let me sleep on it .

next morning...dont get angry about this it may work.
watch in horror as they drag a disc cutter and various power tools into the kitchen . look on in more horror as the sons appear with a fire extinguisher . At this point decide to go out for a walk , its the best way .
Come home to a very odd smell and them all sat having a cuppa .
It should be OK in a couple of days

Why is it laid on its side with a gaping hole cut in it ?

We fixed it , there was a hole in the side of the drum thats where the water leaked and blew the pump , so instead of taking it apart i cut an inspection hole in through the side with the big cutter , dont worry you will now have an nice hatch with meccanno fastenings , you wont see it once its back under the worktop .

OK, whats the strange smell

Thats the fixing compound i used to put the patch in the drum , dont worry they use it to fix drainage tanks on lorries .

So Mr Bah Humbug is now the god of washing machine fixers , it rattles and looks odd but doesnt leak and works just fine , if i get another 6 months out of it things may have improved

Saturday 12 December 2015

Thank Heavens the Turkey is Paid For

Just when I could do without more bad news , I got my wage slip for the xmas pay packet, £85 for the month, bear in mind ive been working full time for the last few weeks so ive used over £100 just for fuel !!! I really need to find a better job but in the year ive been trying the single reply ive received has been a con trick . I know they will pay me eventually but this is just ridiculous , nearly as good as last year when they sent out the pay slips the day they closed for the xmas holidays, then the money didnt appear in the bank on pay day . All I can do is turn off my phone so that good old HSBC isnt ringing me 6 times a day from India all through xmas , so thats the plan once we break up for xmas.
Just to make matters even better we have had a pukey child week , he distinguished himself by projectile vomiting over the back of his grandads van , something im quite sure he will never hear the last of . lol


Havent xmas shopped , the turkey was bought a fortnight ago so thats it , shopping is now banned theres enough food on the premises to last well into January though doubtless there will be much moaning and gripping from the other inhabitants , if it bothers them that much they can always go shopping cant they ? he he he

Friday 4 December 2015

Thank ???? Its Friday

Yeah , the end is nigh or words to that effect . Work is drawing to a close , so things are still somewhat hectic . Munchkin duties yet again, his mothers off on tour , London this time methinks , enabling her inner xmas lemming ?
What do I get to put me in the xmas spirit ? you guessed it a washer flood . The pump got bunged and it spewed its giblets all over the kitchen floor , this is not the point to find out that the carpet tiles cant be lifted , so we had 4 days of wearing wellies while it dried, sometimes concrete floors are a good thing , a new pump later it was back in action , but being a bunch of muppets they didnt level it and it shook another hose off on its first spin , kitchen flooded again , still wearing wellies . They assure me its fine now but im not trying it till theyre all home and can mop up the mess yet again .
Have I done a single xmas related thing yet? Well we bought a cheap turkey and chucked it in the freezer thats that , hopefully i will get paid this week so i can buy a few extra food goodies , but we are well stocked up because last year was such a shocker . Present wise ive bought nothing , ive pointed out to them all that it took me 3 months to save up for a pack of knickers , they really dont grasp that every penny i get goes on bills. No ebay this year to give me pocket money i'm afraid , i did venture to a bigger post office last week .

Could you tell me whats in the parcel

Its a camera

You will have to unpackage it so that i can inspect it

You what!!!

It may contain batteries

Its a USB camera

I still need to inspect it , it cant go on a plane unless we inspect it

A plane to Nottingham , the post office is getting very hi tech ( for those not in the UK its 40 miles away )

Oh.....It doesnt have what it contains written on the packaging

Should I put camera on it so the temporary xmas staff find it easier to steal ?
I'd better make that recorded delivery then and could i have a claim form now?

By the time i left i got a slow handclap from the queue , all that to send one parcel 40 miles , then people wonder why i dont ebay in the run up to xmas


I feel sort of excluded from what is going on around me , theyre all whispering and the parcel vans keep dropping stuff off , but im sneaking off to an auction viewing this afternoon on the grounds of i need the social interaction . Ive just found my camera , so at least i may get a few interesting pictures

Tuesday 24 November 2015

I will blog again!!

Sorry ive not been around more , im currently drowning in real world problems . Work has taken its usual all or nothing spin , Mr Bah Humbug has been having a pretty bad time , they tweaked his medications and hes been struggling to stay on his feet plus mentally hes all over the place . Getting much sense out of him at the moment is a problem, then he got carried away on ebay bought himself a huge radio aerial without thinking about the fact we would have to drive a hundred miles to fetch it with the window open and a great big javelin hanging out of the van window , in snow and gales . Yes I know it cost peanuts , but i nearly died of hypothermia fetching it , so ive been hobbling round since .
Daughter has gone on holiday to Iceland, she figured it would be pretty safe , they dont seem to try to steal other peoples oil and they havent bombed anyone else in the world , so ive had the munchkin full time , hes not been too bad, a bit of lip thats all . Sometimes its easier when he has no court of appeal , he knows i mean business if i have to raise my voice .
In fact , this week has been so hellish that ive been up since three catching up on emails and invoicing , so I thought i'd just pop in and say hello , normal service will resume once ive knitted a turkey in my lunch hour . Life is so bad ive not managed a single thrift shop at all this week ...i need therapy

Thursday 19 November 2015

Xmas Ideas From Mrs Humbug

Well being as xmas is cancelled yet again due to another stunning foul up by the benefits system , which i shant bore you with today . I was hunting round the net for something a little alternative for xmas gift ideas and came up with these web sites

 http://www.topcrochetpatterns.com/blog/15-naughty-knits-that-will-make-you-blush

http://meaningfulmama.com/2012/01/day-2-tea-party.html

http://thenerdyknitter.com/


Even the not very crafty could tackle most of these , and i would imagine the wendy house tablecloth could keep small people quiet for hours . Remember there is nothing wrong with using £1 shop wool for these items , it washes well . Wool snobbery is becoming an art form , if your not knitting with organic yak wool your a failure i know , but hey its xmas and stuff needs to be chucked in the washer.
Theres thousands of free patterns out there , loads of free tutorials on youtube  . waste a couple of quid at the £1 shop you may surprise yourself .

Monday 16 November 2015

In The News

Somehow the last few days events have dampened my urge to blog. i realise anything I say is my opinion and I've never been one to care what others think .
I grew up in the era of the IRA , where every year they liked to remind us that they were still there , but living in the wilds it made little impact other than scary images on the news . Although my mother was shopping in the Arndale Center the day before it blew up . Her comment " soddin hell , that means I will have to go back to Manchester next weekend shopping"
But thats the point isnt it . Paris will mourn its dead, repair its visable damage and get on with living , maybe once the dust settles the best thing we can do is book a weekend their and show support with our feet .
Terrorism only wins when we all cower behind our screens typing our support .

Thursday 12 November 2015

Weather its November?

Weird weather isnt it , today ive had to get my teen slave to drag out the mover and cut the grass before it got to knee high , but saying that ive got tons of washing dried and have had the doors and windows wide open all day . Went into town in search of the Munchkins birthday present and the xmas lemming fest has begun , went into George and they were queuing with trolleys heaped high with toys . What do you get for the small boy who has everything , Minion bedding of course !! i will Minionise his bedroom tomorrow while hes at school .



In the real world ive spent a whole 25p in the thrift shops on something gorgeous but useless , I thought this octagonal vase had had decorative tape stuck to it, I think they did too  . But it turned out to be a 1920s Crown Ducal roses design . Pretty but im not sure where i can hide it ..lol
Also Ive got a little runners up prize from Random house , the latest Lee Childs Jack Reacher audio book , first prize in months , maybe its the start of a winning streak ?


The garden is suffering from severe confusion ive Roses coming in to flower and the rhubarb is sprouting again . Its supposed to turn colder next week , we shall see .


On a slightly more positive note i will toddle off and do more domestic servitude , cook kedgeree for tea and get on with inane facebook games and a couple of good murders from the thrift shop and a wee bit of quilting .

Monday 9 November 2015

Benefit Land Youth Unemployment

So lets have a small Monday rant , now i have 3 sons and stepsons who all belong to the army of unemployed youths between the ages of 19 & 22
It goes a little like this ..mine
Bad acne , bad posture , grinning idiot . Has a GCSE in cookery and lots of certificates from the college cock up he took part in . 
No the army wont take him, he tried , failed the medical , should never have played rugby at school , damaged crucified ligament or something of the sort .
So on leaving school he wants to join the building trade , they stick him on a welding course , he does a year passes the course, cant get a place on the second year not enough places .
Then they offer him plastering , which he loved did a year passed the course comes the second year theyve altered the goal posts he cant reapply, hes now to old because he had to do welding and he would need to go as an apprentice . He tried, we tried, no apprenticeship so he had to sign on for JSA
This farce has now gone on forever , Saturday he received yet another sanction letter for none attendance at a meeting that he attended , this is the second time in less than 3 months and they were sanctioning him till February ..FFS he was there , the agency said he was there, the DWP in that other dimension in which they exist says he wasnt there , bless him he was an hour on the phone till they found the missing attendance sheet  and agreed not to sanction him . The point of this rant is that every week he receives umpteen letters to attend umpteen useless meetings here there and everywhere they always arrive the day after the meeting because they are posted the day before by second class business post . Hes constantly threatened with sanction , its fortunate that hes far from thick and quite articulate . Hes now attended at least 5 how to write a CV courses , done a months unpaid work at Poundland a form of modern slavery for which they should be prosecuted . Went to work at the pork factory , which he loved , but that also turned out to be partially unpaid , because the agency he went to work for were bleedin useless and didnt pay him for half the shifts he worked , hes still arguing that one .  Hes just got a couple of NVQs in customer services in fact hes a whole file of useless qualifications , people want the experienced not the young. Being at the other end of age discrimination , I can really empathise with the poor sod . 
He just wants a boring grunt job hed turn up on time every day , makes a decent cuppa and hed never cause an ounce of bother . As one agency told him. hes just not pretty enough to get a job , believe me ive been there !!

Friday 6 November 2015

Mothers !!!

I knew it was going to be a bad conversation when my mother left me a message to ring her urgently , first thought. well shes alive, but it must be important because shes rung for the first time in years , wouldnt want to ruin her low user tariff . second thought its not the police ringing, so shes not in bother yet again . Third Thought , Aunty Mary hasnt rung , so shes not in the papers .
After her rabid racist rant , we are just about speaking , but as she cant see that anything she says is wrong , its a waste of breath .
So here goes
I left you a message

yes thats why ive rung you back .

Ive had a funny phone call, from one of those funny heir hunter companies you see on the telly , at least thats what they say they are . I need you to check it out on the puter thingy .

Whos died?

Mary

Not Aunty Mary!!

No,no

Cousin Mary

But she died when I was a kid.

Well actually no they told everyone that , they put her away , because she was disgusting .well she was an imbecile, she used to make funny noises and drooled .

You mean she was mentally handicapped

Thats what they call them now , they didnt let them walk the streets in my day . Do you know they used to try and make me play with her when i was little?

As you may have guessed , the handicapped are another of her hate figures , I dont know why she just doesnt change her will and leave everything to Ian Duncan Smith  to provide for gas chambers for the unemployed, all immigrants and disabled.

The call was far longer and my daughter could tell I was boiling nicely . So I went off to do a little research online

Cousin Mary had died in June , in the care of the County Council in a very nice nursing home in the next town , shed been their over 20 years after leaving the mental hospital  , she died intestate and the money will be split between my mother and the remaining cousins all 5 in total . This has come as a surprise as my mother had told everyone she died years ago . But then she told the family i had emigrated to explain why she had moved house and we didnt visit for 10 years , she forget to mention that she didnt tell us where she had gone !!
 Then a thought crossed my mind my mother is the only one left out of the cousins they never married , shes as fit as a flea and the women in her family are practically immortal , theyre all doddering , I hope they left their money to a cats home or she will be sat counting her money forever



Monday 2 November 2015

Diary of a Lax Blogger

I havent run off , just been a busy bee real work wise for the last few weeks . Day off today and what am i doing ?  sorting out a huge garden sack full of stuff out for the charity shop ,there would be a whole lot more going but Mr Bah Humbug being home all the time does cramp my style somewhat in the getting rid of stuff way . I have hidden a whole bunch of tee shirts of his that hes been bought in the last 10 years and never worn at the bottom of the sack, what i would really like is to chuck the two drawers of jeans he isnt going to fit back into this millenium away . But i have stolen some to make him a new car seat cover after i killed his in the washer .
Thrift wise ive managed a single trip to the Tabernacle in Grimsby on Saturday morning , to be greeted by a grinning little old lady "ive saved this for you " surprisingly I was quite chuffed , having wanted one as a child , ive gained a folding tartan zip up suitcase . Even better inside was a couple of faded tablecloths , so i think this is destined to become , decorative table cloth storage . Thats my excuse for keeping it anyway .





In a shocking announcement Coxs Chippy is no more !! this place featured in my childhood Saturdays back in the 60s  my mum worked on the chicken stall on a Saturday in Freeman Street Market for years . The event was fish and chips sat outside being dive bombed by pigeons and seagulls . It used to be packed, everybody would go in their work clothes stinking of fish . Granny would go for sit down fish and chips bread and butter and a pot of tea inside , all oil cloth table cloths and thick with fag smoke . There used to be an old biddy sat on a stool by the door grabbing the money as you left . Its being sliding into decline for a good few years , mainly because at nights it wouldnt be safe to open round there sadly , its fine if a bit run down in daylight . I have to say The Pea Bung over the road has celebrated by putting his prices up . So a sad day in Grimsby history has come , no more liver and chips , RIP Coxs .

Monday 26 October 2015

Quilting Under Stress

Once upon a time long ago back in 1970 , my granny gave me a tin and started me doing hexy patchwork , whenever im stressed I quilt , its always hexys . I quilt on the machine when the urge takes me , I will never win awards , I use recycled fabric and the thread is usually the dearest part of the whole quilt . Having had a hellish year the pink quilt of doom is growing and has got to lap blanket stage just ready for winter...lol

yep ...I still use the same tin 
But I still have the first quilt i started in 1970 , its just a king sized quilt top , but it holds so many memories , scraps of clothes i wore as a child , the purple PE skirt I hated so much , dresses my mother left behind, all sorts of unsuitable mix and match fabrics ,just added whenever i felt stressed,  a few silk ones rotted and had to be replaced , It went missing when i got divorced and 10 years down the line my ex handed me it in a bin bag and ran . He'd tried to rip it in half knowing how much that would hurt me  , it took me weeks to repair the damage ,you couldnt hide the damage so i didnt try to.


 I remember sunny afternoons curled up in a ball with the kids reading poetry to them when they were tiny. Even a couple of hexys with bits of scribble  Sitting with my granny scolding me for my stitches being uneven , looking at the center they were terrible back then but as the quilt grew over the years they got better and better . I finished it just before i got married. Its faded and worn and has lived a long and useful life . I just hope that when im gone one of them loves it like i do and it doesnt end up on a thrift shop shelf . I always think thats such a sad fate for a handmade quilt .



Thursday 22 October 2015

Benefits Land Realms of Mordor

So after a whole month of actual regular payments , we once again hit problems . Now they cease to pay Mr Bah Humbugs JSA because i am employed part time , not as bad as it sounds as we still have his PIP payments and my part time job . The Housing Benefit payments are however linked to his JSA , he must now apply for ESA again the benefit where they scored him nil points, a nice lady from the Council came and did the forms for him , he will score nil points at the medical but we must keep applying as a condition of the Housing Benefit ???
Meanwhile Mr Bah Humbug attended the Job Centre yesterday , just so they could eat a bit of his soul , he got one of the members of staff who has a personality disorder . Dont get me wrong the staff at the job center are on the whole helpful and pleasant but there are one or two who really are foul .
Conversation goes a little like this .

Why are you here ? were not going to give you any  money

 Im here because I want help to find a job

Why have you not signed in electronically ?

because it doesnt recognise my writing , I struggle to hold a pen i have nerve damage .

I dont care if it takes you an hour to sign in , you will do it or you wont be seen .

I have nerve damage the longer i try the worse it gets .

You have been judged fit to work , you will sign in in future

Why havent the Shaw Trust been in touch with you ?

I have no idea , ive had no calls or letters

I will give you the number

Please write it down ,I cant and i have short term memory problems

That is not my job

So he left the building just as baffled as when he went in and twice as foul , as he said this is the worst interview hes had since the one where he was told that pain is irrelevent

Sunday 18 October 2015

Sunday Day of No Rest

Just had one of those days up before dawn unable to sleep , never stopped since . The joys of a busy work week everything has to be done on Sunday , plus the hoards dictated a full English Breakfast and then chicken tea . Spent the day spring cleaning our bedroom a never ending thankless task due to the amount of craft materials I have hoarded away , when youve emptied the hoover eight times doing one room you know you have a problem occasioned by thousands of seed beads getting into the carpet and not wanting  to come out , then joy of joy i find theres tons of woodroom in the side of a chest of drawers that I moved , we get lots of woodworm the house is riddled with it , so thats going to be more mess and stench . The council did respond once , sent the surveyor who told me it was my fault for having wooden old furniture and that i should get rid of it all . Strange the floors were riddled with it when we moved in . The furniture i check every year , this is about the first time in 3 years we have found it , plus its inactive this time of year so i will just poison them for fun .
So now im going to settle down and read about everybody elses fascinating productive lives and cook a chicken tea .
 Greetings to Russia , it seems according to google that we have gained lots of viewers
 Heres a little vintage knitting for everyone





Sunday 11 October 2015

Endless Crafts

I got a whole 2 hours yesterday of peace , Mr Bah Humbug had gone out with his friend , the munchkin his mum and her friend had gone to look for her car . Age 23 after finishing her long term auditioning for a son in law , shes decided to go off the rails in spectacular fashion , go out dressed like a hooker and lose her vehicle due to alcohol . She has spent the rest of the weekend wrapped in a blanket feeling sorry for herself . we all have to learn the hard way...lol
Yesterday was perfect and sunny so I dragged my hand quilting outside and just sat and enjoyed the peace with my furry assistant . In fact ive got nothing done all weekend , nothing in the garden, theres still mountains of washing , ive thrown meals together and the washing yurt in the kitchen hasnt moved either . I get like this every year without fail , October should be inertia month . A direct response to the looming winter months and a busy work week

crochet a hair net anyone?

cant decide whether this is a daft idea or not to use as a planter 

Thursday 8 October 2015

Embroidery Transfers Anyone?

Im not quite sure what is going on at the moment every thrift and charity store seems to be throwing up sewing and craft items . Has everyone come in from the garden and started crafting for xmas, had a good sort out and chucked it in the charity bag ?
Age UK in Horncastle had all manner of craft stuff today , then there was this anonymous looking yellow file tied up at the back for a whole £2 it just said embroidery transfers . Get them home and start rooting and ive got transfer heaven bought sight unseen .
The oldest dated ones are from 1913 , most are from the 30s , theres some gorgeous deco ones , but also some huge floral table centers . literally hundreds of loose floral designs , a few childrens , theres other bits of paperwork and ephemera among them as well , I dread to think what was thrown away before they put them on the shop floor , they once belonged to Bertha from Louth , its going to take forever to sort through them and get the creases out .
Some may make it to ebay because they can just go into the post box when sold , still debating what to do with ebay at the moment I shut it for the forseeable future due to losing the post office in the village ..decisions decisions ....
just a few transfers 

racial stereotyping at its best?

scary border for a childs quilt 

Saturday 3 October 2015

Cheer Up Its Craft Season

Found another Charity Shop in Lincoln Yesterday !!! Cats in Crisis , Redwood Drive LN5 9BN, they already hold excellent jumble sales around Lincoln,  now they have a nice and very reasonable shop as well . Think this is where the antique and collectable stuff gets deposited . Plus the new and like new clothing .
So what did I come home with ? overspent my £1 budget a little but they did have stacks of vintage knitting and craft patterns , dont worry I left loads behind . They had a very good and varied selection of craft kits and the like as well .
I love vintage knitting patterns , so easy to hide..lol, not seen the smocking one before , and I had to have more bestway for the collection , I love to look at Fairisle but in a million years I know I will never be that good a knitter , a good few 1950s Stitchcraft magazines , always gorgeous to have .
The 50s Felt toys pattern is one I remember still being in use when I was in school , it has a little felt golliwog pattern , and other dolls, its dilapadated but complete , if anyones interested ive scanned the whole thing .





Thursday 1 October 2015

Pride and Prejudice

It's been 3 weeks since I last spoke to my mother, I just can't force myself to pick up the phone, she has never succeeded in disgusting me as much as her latest escapade. At the best of times her views on life and the world in general just horrify me. She may be 80 but that doesn't make her a nice little old lady.
My stepbrothers wife has been over in the UK to visit her dying father, they don't get over from South  Africa that often now he's retired. But Maria did the duty call and popped in to see her with her sister, they'd bought her a locally produced oil painting and called for a cuppa and a chat and a catch up on the family . Mother had already told ,me she didn't want them in the house because they were just after seeing what she was worth, so I didn't expect it would go well. 
The point where it went wrong was they have adopted an AIDS baby, Through the church. They are empty nesters who have raised five kids of there own. The orphanages are packed with them because once they are diagnosed the parents just abandon them. She threw the painting at them and told them to get out of her house because not one penny of hers was going to a little diseased black bastard. 
Now she's changed her will to exclude my step brother and I just can't bring myself to talk to her. I've always known she was a horrible bigoted snob , I think it's one of the few things me and my stepbrother agreed on as kids . 
The psychologist I was packed off to as a kid said she was a narcissistic sociopath, big words for someone so small minded, I just wish Maria had gone to the police and had her locked up . But my stepbrother being as twisted by our childhood as I am, will probably name his new daughter after her just to annoy her even more. I'm just proud of my new niece and wish her a long and glorious future and to spite my mother I will make sure she benefits greatly once the evil old witch is gone.

Monday 28 September 2015

Asda v Lidl

Well ive had a very boring weekend never ending vehicle problems meant i got to a single jumble sale , no car boots, nothing . gutted when the weathers been so glorious .But on my usual £1 budget i picked up these . Ive been good and chucked a load of books into the charity sack lately but I just cant leave buttons behind , they needed a home didnt they ?


So today I had to pop into Asda aka Walmart, just for the usual bread milk and something masquerading as butter . Last week we went into Lidl for a wander. Now today in Asda I noticed something odd , im rather partial to the German meat products that Lidl sells you know the weird sausage type items that you cant pronounce I get them for a treat for Mr Bah Humbug , but Asda has started selling many of the exact same pork items at about half the price of Lidl , very odd, they also sell a huge range of Polish food quite cheaply , now Boston Asda is located in little Gdansk where all the Eastern Europeans live so i've no idea if this is just certain branches or if its countrywide , theyve also stated selling a huge range of pastries freshley cooked , just like Lidl , pickles just like Lidl but all significantly cheaper . They also have a Lebanese food range , go figure? not many Lebanese in Boston .
Meanwhile i'm still waiting for Armageddon , I didnt bother with the washing this weekend just in case ,
anyone know what the next predicted date is ? Mr Bah Humbug just informed me we have 2 months of utter blackness to look forward to according to NASA, amazing what helpful facts you get sent on Facebook isnt it ?

Thursday 24 September 2015

Chores Getting You Down ?

Once upon a time , when I gained my freedom from my husband after 22 years , it was just me and the kids in an very empty house we had rented , we had the internet within 7 days but were still sleeping on the floor in sleeping bags for months , had to get my priorities right after all..lol
I had no pots so we just ate off paper plates and binned them , just because I could , no TV for 2 years ...lol  we had a YMCA sofa thats still in my front room that took 3 months to save up for , everything had to come from boot sales , i had a really poor paying job on permanent nights , but I was FREE , free to make my own decisions for the first time in my life .
I had come for a strict family where I was the only teen rebel , they prayed a lot for me . By todays standards they would be classed as physically and mentally abusive but back in the 70s they were just a little over the top . I can remember being taken to the doctors by my mother and him looking me up and down and saying " Well I Can tell you what the problem is now, she will be one of those strange pipe smoking tartan slipper wearing females , You had better put her into care " So I was Diagnosed as a lesbian at 13 by the medical profession . Got that very wrong didnt he ...lol  But my mother being my mother promptly put me in care and left my father while he was working abroad .
My dad was summoned back from the far east after the police caught me, having run away from care and set up home in Blackpool with a fair lad as all teenage lesbians do.
Bless him , my dad was rather clueless , hed been in the army then had worked abroad for years , now he was saddled with a 13 year old wild child , so he decided to move back to his family in Lincolnshire. I loved my dad dearly but his family were strict and very christian , a womens place was in the home you didnt work outside the home all you did was pod out endless children and clean house .
When I was 18 I was taken to the door of a flat and told this is where you will live now , I was far to embarrassing for them all to cope with .
Now you may be wandering where this is leading , after 2 years on my own after my marriage broke up  I met Mr Bah Humbug in an internet chatroom for those with kids that were outside the norm , as a one finger typist it was hard work to hold a conversation with him , he uses 2 fingers now . On the spur of the moment I went to meet him and that was it we just hit it off . But the moment I knew he was the one was when we went to his mothers and she had a washing yurt , and piles of craft magazines everywhere and a sink of dirty pots .
He doesnt bat an eyelid when im working strange hours and the house turns into house of sloth , he never moans when the kitchen table has been taken over for craft purposes for 3 days , he just doesnt notice mess its great , so longs as theres food and he has socks in his drawer hes happy . So I have my freedom but I get a bloke as well its great!!

Tuesday 22 September 2015

Just One of Those Days

I thought i'd get a good days domestic servitude in today after the monsoon yesterday . Didnt sleep very well last night , daughter was out and she may be a 23 but I still worry ,so i was up 5 times to see if her car was here , what I didnt know was she'd parked behind the hedge ...doh

Started sticking windfalls through the juice extractor , only to realise i'd forgot to put a jug under the spout and it has gone down the gap between the worktop and the cooker and i cant move the cooker on my own ..grrrrrrr

Stuck yet more windfalls on to make rhubarb and apple jam , went out to hang washing , came back and it was burnt solid to the pan ..aaarrggghhh

Then thought i would start on the never ending yard chores , wood treating the swing bench and fence panels , this is where i miss Mr Bah Humbug the most , yard chores , most are just to heavy for me to manage without help and getting help from any of them is an impossibility .

Went to fetch washing in and got stung by something on my neck , now full of Piriton but feel like crap.



On almost a plus note found 1970s mens Astaka of London fake fur car coat at the car boot for a whole £3 , washed it in the washer it survived but the washer has eaten a button so thats another chore , dismantle the drain on the washer . It hasnt shrunk, so I will be warm this winter and the whole family will shake their heads and die of embarrassment .
Also found a couple of tiny homemade vintage dresses , bought for the fabric 10p and 25p





Saturday 19 September 2015

Jumble Sale Season

I love this time of year before the Xmas Fairs start it is Jumble Sale Season , had a trip out to Minting , a pretty little speck on the map with a very civilized Jumble Sale this afternoon , managed to fit out most of my winter wardrobe needs for a £1 the bag full , fat bird items are quite hard to find , we tend to wear clothes till they fall to bits due to the price , even a still tagged pair of pyjama bottoms . And for Mr Bah humbug a Ben sherman that he couldnt fit his space hopper belly into ...ho hum


Of course some flowery fabric bits crept in to the bag , along with a proper vintage pinny , in big bird size , something ive never found before , so thats a keeper .


 Next week is Jumble sale Heaven .
 10am Birchwood Scout Hut Cats in Crisis
  11am Nettleham Scout Hut
 The secret Jumble Sale , Washingborough Village Hall Bowls Club 1.30 pm.
Village wide yard sale at Eagle

I may have to sell a kidney and  travel between dimensions to attend them all , plus im not going to work no matter what they offer me . I think I have a problem , theres very few items on this years wish list that i havent found so far , just a decent microwave ,a new to me sofa and a stair carpet...lol dont think i will get any of those from the jumble

Tuesday 15 September 2015

Hull and Back

I know ive not been around much this last couple of weeks but I got lumbered with a load of holiday cover and things as they are , I took it . So i've had days in the traffic hell that is Grantham , nothing nice to photograph , if there is you cant park near it , didnt look to be a lot in the way of thrift shops either . So that was a very ho hum day out .


But then i got to go to Hull , havent been for about 5 years , still love it , great to drive round with its little dual carriageways in the burbs with the excellent u-turn breaks in the middle .
 So lets talk about Hull . From the pictures you would think i didnt rate it , but i always have , huge chunks were bombed flat during the war its a city full of the working class that no longer has jobs that pay more than minimum wage , when the docks went it sank into the pits . But it always manages to drag itself back up somehow . Now it has great shopping , and its going to be City of Culture , but once you leave the town center its still itself , i noticed that among the  gorgeous rundown huge terraced houses that were turned into multiple occupancy years ago there are lots of hipster palaces creeping in , they know how to exploit the grants systems for renovation and the big terraces are gaining a new life , why have a 5 bedroomed newbuild on an identikit estate when you can for the same price get a huge Victorian Terrace with character .
As usual theyre knocking swathes of old back to back terraces down and replacing them with new build social housing , but why do they have to make them so ghastly? Is it a punishment for being poor?


 Hull was once a very rich city back in the 60s you used to come across on the ferry from New Holland and it was like going to London for us . but whats killed it is the lack of parking everywhere , it always had great public transport so people didnt bother with cars , but they do know so the side streets can be hard going .
So what can you say. Hull may be a flashy old tart past her best but shes trying


Sunday 13 September 2015

Dear Jeremy

Well what a surprise , this is a bored 50 something house elf and carer  actually looking at politics and giving a damn for the first time in years .
Now the Tom & Jerry show have arrived , for those of you overseas I will explain , in the UK we had 2 main parties for years , but somehow they all became liars cheats and PR  company driven idiots, who we all loathed , they became one bland mass .  So at the last election somehow the unexpected happened, the Conservatives ended up forming a majority government due somewhat to a particularly dire Labour Party election campaign and UKIP being voted for by the Daily Mail readers  aka the likes of my mother .
Post election the Labour party decided to hack each other apart and blame everybody else but themselves for their failings , they just didnt grasp that we didnt want beige politics . Now the Labour Party have elected Jeremy Corbyn as leader , hes been lurking around parliament for donkeys years , putting the boot in here and there and annoying the beige element .
So here my review of him..lol
 Hes been an excellent MP for his constituency in London but until no one had considered him as a leader material
He really does care , a little to the point of the ridiculous as only a hippy socialist can , not a bad thing
Hes been married lots and his kids adore him and  obviously find him a huge embarrassment , always a sign that hes been a good dad .
Hes a vegetarian , sandal wearer  .
 He has no dress sense whatsoever , please let it stay that way , just make it clear that he doesnt employ a stylist and dresses himself in a morning .
As a party they need to beat out of him any tendency to call people comrade to their faces , we can handle Marxism .but we like it with a beige tinge chuck .
Then as his deputy hes got Tom Watson, well I admit to a weakness for chubby furry blokes , but this guy should be on the stage at Live from The Apollo , as a party for godsakes let him be funny , he will provide a welcome relief from the miserable situation this country is in . Hes as hard as nails so let him be .
The point is we have an excellent double act here , they can go far , the Labour Party can rebuild itself , if it goes back to being about the public and theyre needs
We live in interesting times folks , but none of us want to go back to the days of the miners strikes , its still not a good memory for many of us

Monday 7 September 2015

Kustom Kulture 2015

A  thoroughly enjoyable weekend , never have I been more pleased than when i snuggled under my 70s charity shop blanket , it was bleak freezing and windy and a cripple and an old fat bird had a great time trying to put up a large tent in the wind..lol  But we managed , im not sure it was one of his better ideas as were like a pair of cripples now .



The event however was amazing , brilliant music , fantastic stalls , I shant ask where the Psycho Juice lads got that crying boy picture from.  Hicksville Bombers headlined Saturday , daughter and grandson had come up for the day he was in love with Sharna Mae and the Mayhems and his attempts at jiving were great to see .


Meanwhile Im so glad im skint , the man who has conceived a useful purpose for grey squirrels was plying his wares  https://instagram.com/thetaxidermist/  modern taxidermy at its best , im sorry but they just appeal to my love of Victoriana and my love of different .

The cars were as ever amazing , it was just a completely pleasurable occasion , well organised , loads of variety , though Mr Bah Humbug was a little disappointed that he was to short to see the Gilded Merkin Burlesque Dancers . We also noticed a trend for balding blokes of a certain age wearing top hats , go figure? anythings better than baseball hats . There were tons of rockabilly dressed men and women , but also a huge variety of other genres , this seems to be the event for the misfits of every other individual with style .


We shant even go into a six year old boys fascination with body art and tattooing , but he made his mum stay till the final parade .

Thursday 3 September 2015

More War Graves

Went to work yesterday with Mr Bah Humbug in tow , he was having a "its only a flesh wound" kind of day , thats a challenge to find the quote for those into their movies .
So to be kind to him we didnt get much further than Lincoln, we ended up having a picnic outside Scampton Church , this has the biggest war graves cemetary in the area, in fact its still in use today . Its a tiny beautiful country church but as with all church yards it has its differences , at first glance I wondered why there were a couple of commercial wheelie bins parked by the front door , but on closer inspection they turned out to be tombs


Couldnt resist the pews dumped round the back , the timber has weathered wonderfully , havent a clue why they never gave it away or used it .

There are a large collection of war graves to the side of the church the WWII ones seem to be mainly Canadian with a smattering of New Zealand not many are  older than 21 . Theres also the crew of a German Bomber that crashed in the road outside the church . They are still adding to the graves , there are many that are from obscure wars around the world



In the current times when many of us realise that a major war is brewing in the arab nations and the refugees are drowning in a sea of reporters ,it doesnt matter that we can sit at home and watch these terrible things from the safety of our living rooms it does effect us all and we have a duty to do something for the people who are fleeing. These are people not fleeing for economic gain , they are parents and grandparents fleeing to safety from a war they didnt create , once things stabilise, the vast majority will return to their Homelands and rebuild their country , the trouble is this is going to drag on  for years , You cant reason with fanatics and its pointless pretending theres a negotiation ending to the story of Syria ,





 How many of our young of every nationality will end up with a simple white headstone ?

Wednesday 2 September 2015

£1 What can you get

So yesterday Mr Bah Humbug decided to come to work in Grimsby with me yesterday , well I actually asked him to because I can take advantage of his blue badge parking , after all there must be some advantages to living with a cripple .
We decided to splurge on groceries while we were there, so off to the Value for Money Stores in cleethorpes , they had these cheese and spinach tortellinis for 4 for a £1 , I did get a huge bag full , theyre a good store cupboard staple for the winter , loads of mackeral in mustard sauce, 39p each theyre usually around £1.20 Mr Bah Humbug likes these . Lots of rice , posh make arboria 4 for a £1 . In fact 8 bags later I was starting to feel guilty .


They still have a barrel grocers at Cleethorpes , so I stocked up on rolled oats for winter , and a huge bag of dried soup mix , they even have loads of spices , that came in at 50p for 100g .
Then on to Freeman Street Market , for a freezer full of meat , they still do bags of bones for stock at 25p for a carrier full , oops sorry they have to label them dog bones these days . we arent huge meat eaters , but they like the burgers and sausages , plus they do cooking bacon 800g for 99p .
The pie man was raided for steak and kidney puds 6 for a £1 and minced beef and onion pies 5 for a £1 .
But the best £1 of the day had to be this 70s blanket much brighter than the photograph and out drying ready for the weekend away . Rock Foundation , still the best charity shop on Grimsby high street .


If you wondering why we are suddenly rich , by our standards anyway weve risked some of the rent money we have been saving , it seems that after much arguing , eviction proceedings starting etc etc in 10 days theyre actually going to pay us housing benefit , our first proper scrounger benefit , cant you tell how proud I am? My mother will be overjoyed , we are now officially the family disgrace

Friday 28 August 2015

Little Positives

Ive sat down today trying to dredge a few positives out of the current life situation ..lol
So here goes , me and Mr Bah Humbug get to spend a lot of time together , from help with toileting to getting dressed , to cutting up food . Hes now started forgetting where he is when hes driving , so i have to navigate , the doctor says hes fine to drive??
He hates every minute of it , so we bicker more . But it is just bickering and hes still my favourite cripple .



Our current financial situation appears to have frightened my son into getting a job , not much of a job hes doing something odd at the pig factory a couple of shifts this week , but its is first job since leaving college , hes deeply impressed at getting paid to sellotape boxes together and tread on Scotch Eggs . Nobody speaks English and the induction was held in Polish . Still it pays a few pounds more than his JSA and he wont have to do more unpaid work at Poundland .

My daughter seems to be going up the job ladder at work rather rapidly and working for the County is no bad thing as they pay for extra qualifications on top of her wage ( if we are lucky she may get far enough to fund her Masters )


Charlie Chainsaw the neighbour , has been at it solidly for 2 days hes cut down every tree in his garden and logged them for firewood , hes also sawed my tree down without asking and logged that !! , pointless saying anything he never replies , just stares blankly and gets another tinny . Plus point however is that he took up the barbed wire at the bottom of his garden because its dangerous for his kid and I had to stuff hankies in my mouth , as it obviously hasnt occured to him that its there for a reason . We have meadow behind us and in it is a very large bull and his girlfriends , im sure he will enjoy the  visit from the furry beefburgers and also Bob the gun totting farmer who owns them . I may make a fortune on You Tube if I can film it .
So thats my little positives for today ...


Tuesday 25 August 2015

The Little Irritations in Life

So I have a few wee gripes to get off my chest .
How come television is overflowing with "Benefits" programmes , theres tons of them all infested with the rejects from the Jeremy Kyle Show . I honestly dont think theres more scroungers or cheats than there has ever been , the dishonest have always been around , there are always those who will take advantage if they can . Isnt it time someone asked who is funding these Party Political Broadcasts on behalf of The Conservative Party , how much party funding goes to them and which MPs have declared interests in the TV companies involved . Oh I forgot you can apply for information from the government , but theyd sooner drag it to the High Court than give out data under the Freedom of Information Act . Take the application to find out how many have died after their ESA was stopped , theyve been blocking that since prior to the election  and spending our money doing it       http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/news/3100-esa-death-statistics-may-never-see-light-of-day.......STOP PRESS 2380 people have died since being declared fit for work



Next in a completely different vein . How come in the world of the internet , unless your playing a fantasy game where there is a witch , can you not have a fat avatar?  All the games seem the same scrawny bobbleheads for the females . I want a fat bird avatar and not just a witch or a comedy friend .   ggggrrrrrrrr

Sunday 23 August 2015

Rain............

And finally after a scorchio weekend its raining a little , sheer bliss, its been far to warm to be pleasant and i slept really badly last night , so im sort of a brain dead child killer today.
On a plus point ive got the mountains of washing dry and started the pile up the bedding for winter sort out , I need a lot of bedding , this is a cold house and because i dont wash bedding till spring we needs loads , with no dryer its pointless in the house of mould .
I was dragged to Hemswell Car Boot and Market for 8am this morning , I think Mr Bah Humbug thought he'd treat me , but I knew he would struggle with walking so I did two rows and made excuses to call it a day , its all lumps of limestone and pot holes, so no good for him , plus it was really windy and thick dust .  Hes now nuked full of pills and unable to get off the sofa .
What did I buy? A bag of sweet potatoes for £1 , a water melon and of all the strange things a bucket  of Wholefoods peanut butter for £1 , well in date so I was well chuffed , it does keep well past its sell date anyway , but it wont be around for long come the toast season i'm sure.
There was tons of stalls selling boxes of china at any bit for £1 or 50p , gos to show how unfashionable Victorian China has become , some of it was beautiful , but not a chance with my other half , practical shopping only allowed ..
Started a sunny day project yesterday , the glue is dry in 15 minutes , this is a suitably gothic item to appeal to me, i had some wallpaper sample books kicking about  , not sure about the lining , im sure something will catch my eye , lets hope this doesnt wait around for years

Thursday 20 August 2015

Ahhhhhh....Work Work Work Ruskington

Its been a funny old week , little time for anything but real world work and running around after other people , nothing new there .
Havent crafted, though had a couple of brainstorms about what i want to do next , how is it no matter how much stuff you packrat theres never exactly what you need . Im sure everyone else would have some orange string fruit bags to hand . Guess someone will have to eat a lot of oranges .



Did a massive failure of a car boot , brilliant sunshine , loads of stalls but no customers , I was so awkward that i just took 90% to various charity shops on the Monday , I need the space desperately .



I have listened to Mr Bah Humbug rabbit on for endless hours about his new hobby CB and Amateur Radio , I feel dreadful , ive no interest in it at all , i just dont get why anyone would do it when you can use the internet . So i'm not in good books , hes even more mardy that i can understand french , i can understand it, but i cant speak it...lol
Still awaiting the Housing Benefit descision .......................................






Stuck for 4 hours in Ruskington yesterday , pretty little place , hospice bookshop and hospice shop a coop , garden center and quite a few useful little shops . What else would I do but wander round the graveyard and church , im sure this is turning into my summer hobby , its free which is a huge plus point . Im sorry ive not a single exciting thing to tell you its just been a very boring week. Even the weekend doesnt look exciting I think im at work for most of it







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