Friday 25 May 2018

Pussy Power Lincoln

So thats me showing up on all the weirdos internet searches this morning !!
Today their are 2 cat Jumble sales in Lincoln , Dunholme cat protection 1.00 advertised on lincs fm events page and Lincoln Cat Care at Washingborough 12.00 very little advertising, without a Tardis very little chance of making it across Lincoln to them both due to traffic  ..lol...might give it a go if i dont budget out at the first
Last Sunday I had a whole £4 in my purse and toddled off with the munchkin to the car boot at Metheringham , if i can get a vehicle out this is my preferred relaxation , but at the moment theres always some snoring zombie parked behind me . I do like to go really early to avoid heat and crowds , plus i can get back by 9 to sort Mr Bah Humbug out for the day .
Did I buy loads ? nope it was garden canes , some different beans to those the mice army ate and a few herbs that havent overwintered and of course a couple of books..lol  Broke my heart there was a 70s Sindy with other Sindy bits and bobs in a bright red little suitcase £4 the woman asked was she charging to much ? Nope im just skint as usual.
This brings me to odd thought on Poverty , its all over the press and internet how hard times are , millions living in povety etc etc . But isnt poverty something you perceive yourself to be in . In my Darkside job I often had to fill in statements of income for various court purposes with people , it was a real eye opener. There were those who couldnt understand that £200 a month on self care , gyms hairdressers beauticians etc isnt a necessity . That kids after school clubs costing £100s a month arent a necessity, car leasing £500 a month etc etc they consider themselves poor .
But the other end of the scale are those who exist on a pension or other government pittance and make a go of it , they dont consider themselves poor, just grateful to have something coming in .  The label Scroungers is stuck to them , but its a lot more time consuming and stressful than people imagine its not sitting there covered in tattoos , smoking fags and sitting outside the pub on a sunny afternoon , its endless errors , lies and downright cruelty from this incompetent shower of shit ruling us . We are being run by an incompetent school debating society , who dont even do their own shopping ....rant over

Sunday 20 May 2018

Going To The Chapel

https://www.letsknit.co.uk/free-knitting-patterns/knit-prince-harry-and-meghan  Had to pop this link in didnt I . 

Image result for prince harry swim suit
 Got to be the best of the wedding souvenirs .
I spent the wedding sat on the side of a fishing pit with Mr Bah Humbug and his brother The Ginger Gnome , snored through most of the day im afraid , then came home to view the wedding highlights .
Ive come to the conclusions that Amal Clooney is a succubus , nobody should be able to look that good and George is starting to look more tiny and wasted every day as if she sucks the life from him . There was some seriously stunning fashion on show most of it really tasteful . Victoria Beckham looked like she was going to a funeral , i do hope the Pizza delivery was for her , I know shes tiny but theres limits.
The bride looked stunning and the Firms bling was very impressive , she was born for that tiara .
 Just like a proper chav wedding there were endless family problems , you do wonder who got hammered at the reception and threw up in the pot plants. 
For those of us who dont really get Royalty the highlight had to be The Windsors Royal Wedding Special , chuckled my way through that one, watch this if you get the chance its on catch up TV somewhere , the Tramp Catcher was a gem and proved to be very true .
I do think Meghan is the brains in this relationship , brilliant move inviting so many of his exes.  Harry always comes across as nice but worthy, he will be the Labrador of husbands , baffled but adoring , so long as she can convince him that his decisions are his own they should have a long and happy marriage. 

Wednesday 16 May 2018

Sun Is Shining

You know when you start a job then it leads to endless other jobs ?  Well i went down the garden and started tidying , nothing got done at the backend of last year due to Mr Bah Humbugs health and the DWP . 2 Bonfires later i had the thought we dont need as much veg this year , so lets remodel the garden !!  So despite a really late spring and the swamp being hard going ive started . Theres also the fact that Mr BH can no longer get this far from the house to criticise everything i get up to . Still have no funds for this project so its all got to be scrounged or picked up from local fly tipping on the airfield , the local resource for all manner of useful things . This is eating all my spare time in fact ive only managed a single Jumble sale and a visit to Torksey car boot . Mr BH doesnt go into Jumble Sales even the ones with tea and cakes his walking being pretty dire these days .

Torksey hasnt changed in the two years since my last visit , still tons of stuff and Mr BH can get round half of it on his buggy the other half would need an off road buggy its all up and down and potholes , so he sat and people watched while i spent a whole £1.50 on a gorgeous green vinyl 70s suitcase covered in world travel labels and a couple of plants . He still hates his buggy with a vengeance , he says its just embarrassing and people stare , but it is the only way he can get around.

But despite Mr BH being a grumpy mardy wee cripple , I wouldnt be without him . Sues sad news brings that home , Col will be sadly missed a really useful male and an epic maker of bookcases  with a cheeky grin right up to the end . 

Wednesday 9 May 2018

A Mumsy Tale

I psyched myself up last night to phone my mother , Mr Bah Humbugs comment was , "Soul Eating Time !!"
Bless her she was positively chirpy .

 I had an electrical problem . I blew up my kettle!!!
Then none of my sockets worked and the fuse box is under the airing cupboard and if i get under there i cant get out .
The gist is she had blown the trip and the idiots who she had in to replace her boiler had moved the consumer unit from out of the airing cupboard into a tiny empty cupboard beneath just to make it more convenient for an 83 year old.

Have you got Darren to come round and sort it for you ?  my cousin lives a couple of streets away

No hes on holiday , so I asked Mark, he managed to pop in between jobs .

Now my Cousin Mark lives in the same town , hes an undertaker and between jobs meant he came and parked his black private ambulance on the drive , while he flipped her trip, had a cuppa and tried to escape from her  My mother lives in a quiet little close packed with other pensioners . 
The next morning she got up to find a pair of cards on the mat, opened them and they were condolences on her own death...lol
Being my mother she had gone stomping round to the two old dears involved, had a go, and given them the cards back . The jungle drums being good in a small town she had gone shopping  ,got on the bus and it all went quiet .
We then had a whole rant about the fact she only had two cards on the mat and people staring at her  ....Mothers!!



Tuesday 8 May 2018

Weird

This week has been a tad strange , the orthopedics firm that the local authority puts in place has been replaced with a new one , so we were summoned for a triage meeting with a new consultant for Mr Bah Humbug , so we toddled off to see this newbie .  He was very Eastern European , good English seems to know his stuff , but i dont think hes worked in the NHS much . The outcome is hes stopping Mr BH referral to Hull which it has taken 2 years to get , mainly because its not worth treating him due to his other health problems mainly the heart problems that they cant find a cause for ,  hes also asking for a referral to have MR BH gastric banded , which was the point where MR BH started to look a wee bit baffled , hes also sure that at least 2 more discs , have gone at the top of Mr BHs spine but he will just have more and more go anyway so when do you stop replacing them ?  He also questioned why MR BH uses crutches .
When we managed to get in a word edgeways and pointed out he has problems at the bottom of his spine as well that cause neuropathy and bowel and waterworks problems , he looked at the scans went AARRGG..... then  he beamed at us and said gastric band will not cure him but it will make him easier to move for me when hes bedridden . The look on the nurses face was a picture . We came out looked at each other and just cracked up laughing ......but its not really funny at all .
I think the consultant has spent to much time in the private sector that he thinks a NHS gastric band is just asked for and given , i seem to remember it takes 2 years of counselling and at least 5 stone weight loss before your even considered for the list, thats without the fact that MR BH is inoperable due to his unexplained heart problems  , plus he will be just as disabled after having one as he is now . But easier for me to care for , ive a feeling the new consultant is going to rattle an awful lot of cages , but i quite liked him .
Its also sent MR BH into one of his really dark mental holes yet again, hes going to be referred to Pain Clinic  to try and numb him to his future methinks, theyre always a nice helpful bunch so we have to settle for that for now .

Thursday 3 May 2018

Old Biddy Party Political Broadcast 2018

Something ive noticed on my morning wander around the free internet papers The wonderful lack of Jeremy Corbyn in the Daily Fail , not a single derogatory comment , not even a comment on his carrots leaning to the Left , we are not voting today but a lot of people are in the local elections  so why have they given up on their weird hobby of imaginary Corbyn bashing . Now I like Corbyn in a dinosaur kind of way,  but You must admit he must be the most boring dinner guest on the planet, sort of Comrade pass the lentils .  and I admit i wouldnt waste a vote on the Blair Lovies he has to put up with .
The Labour Party has played a blinder with Corbyn as the leader , hes a good public speaker , he likes talking to people, in fact hes not afraid of the great unwashed at all . But you do get the impression that if hes elected one day within weeks he may choke on a lentil or fall down the stairs of the Labour Party headquarters . The party is growing in numbers everyday , every DWP letter on the mat is another Labour vote. Once Universal Workhouse really starts to hit thats even more Labour Votes .
So while we wait for the next general election , Labour is grafting at getting the votes of the little people .
The Tory Party  hit big problems ,they decided that the little people count for nothing , they ignored there local branches and many are shutting due to lack of support and an ageing population , so they began to bum lick big business for party funding because its not hard work to get a few million off them .  It never crossed their minds that the businesses would one day expect something in return .
Then we got Cameron mmmm...what a tit  , the look of horror when he realised the Brexit  hadnt gone the way it was planned , after all they only discussed it with big business party funders at their endless cocktail parties . Then the little people kicked him straight in the arse , my mother and every other Zenophobic pensioner crawled out and voted . Shocker
Now we have Mrs May with her rabbit in the headlights look , when you look at the gene pool she has to pick from for her Ministers its no wonder the country is in such a mess , theyve also realised that the weird and the strange business men who provide their funding expect something in return , hence if your rich you pay virtually no tax . The country is bankrupt not just financially but morally , the endless blatant lies will implode one day . You have to be a damned good liar to get away with it in the internet age.......

By the way which comedian invited The Orange One to visit the Queen on Friday the Thirteenth


Wednesday 2 May 2018

Of Mice and Mayhem

Bleedin mice!!!! last year they nibbled all my sweetcorn this year theyve had my broad beans, went down to the swamp yesterday only to find nibbled beans seeds sat half eaten on the soil surface , absolutely sick, these were seeds i had saved year after year that came from a heritage seed swap , so their not commercially available...AARRGGGHH
Gardening is not going at all well due to the weather and pests , its going to be a case of putting stuff in really late i think , i have to cover everything due to the pigeons then the mice turn up in gangs .

Visit from the caseworker yesterday she rang the DWP to see what on earth is going on with the Carers , they are going to start paying it this month it would seem, but now i have three different date letters , they have already cut ESA because we are getting Carers so were a wee bit skint , the last of my creditors are squealing for there money because it cant take six months to sort out benefits, sunshine it took a year to sort out the horrible mess MR BH ended up in . We are still much better off than last year .  I am also to be summoned for a back to work interview , which i shall enjoy immensely, i want them to explain why I cant go into education because im a carer 
The caseworker was telling us shes been inundated with new customers due to the first of The Universal Credit fiasco in this area , mainly self employed people who have found that its impossible to meet the requirements the DWP require , what a surprise im turning into the local DWP prophet of doom.
Ive had people ask me at the school gates if its right that you might as well give up work if your working part time self employed , its the housing benefit aspect every time . Housing Benefit now has to calculate at 40 hrs of week work, even if you work less hours due to childcare , or zero hours contracts. Where as before you worked 16 hours or more to claim Tax Credits and got Housing Benefit . This will doubtless hit single parents far more then others , thats without the six week gap with nothing to live on while they change to the new system .the change in circumstances clause that chucks you on to Universal Credit at the birth of a child , child turning 16 or 18 , time in hospital more than 2 days etc etc
Sometimes im glad im getting on and wont be around to see this whole shitty system in full flow , im seeing horror stories wherever I turn not just in the press , these are people ive known for years .The Tory party have created an online Workhouse in Universal Credit and nobody cares because it doesnt affect them . So if your voting tomorrow , vote with your heart , theyre the usual bunch of liars cheats and con men , but some marginally give a toss about others ...maybe