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Sunday, 21 August 2016

Missing in Action

Well i'm sorry folks ive just vanished into the world of work , doing cover for a full time colleague whos had a bypass , evil rumour would have it they had to struggle to find the organ to work on it . Love him really, hes sort of an ageing Gene Hunt, ex Flying Squad, crazy person . This will make up for the 2 week holiday period , with my job if you book a day off they stop your work for two weeks .
Just one more week and in theory i can wind back a bit and try sleep for a change, or more like clean this hell hole up , which nobody else seems to even think about

I also have yet more benefit wars starting, once again i have major problems on the Housing Benefit front , they have stopped our claim due to the cock up with JSA . That is resolved and reinstated , they still just pay his stamp . So they requested that I resubmit the application which took some sorting then i took it into the local link office to be checked , only to meet the vilest member of staff yet .
He was extremely rude , told me to shut up on numerous occasions when i tried to explain. because he couldnt concentrate and make a " judgement "with me talking .
Then told me that if it was up to him we wouldnt be receiving a penny  .
There were errors in last years calculations that they had made , but it was my fault !!
In fact he accused me of Benefit Fraud
and the cause of this ? They had included Child Benefit for my grandson in my earnings not my daughters . This shouldnt make a pennies difference to the actual end figures its just in the wrong box on their system despite us telling them the correct information on the application .
This whole you are guilty lecture continued on , then he informed me we would be investigated for fraud . Then went on to a whole rant about there being Paypal payments going into my partners bank account ..Doh because we needed to pay for the holiday . My partner could sell thousands of pounds of vehicle parts, his playground is full of half finished projects that need to go now he cant do much , so I had to sign another form explaining this.
I came out and sat in my car and cried , I felt like a criminal still do . We have to provide loads of extra income evidence etc etc ...really need this like a hole in the head

Tuesday, 9 August 2016


Story of my life at the moment , totally exhausted not sleeping well, hence lacklustre .
Managed a jumble sale at the scout hut on the Birchwood this week , spent a whole £3 filled a huge bag by buying everything in my size whether I liked it or not , went home tried it all on and got a couple of bits that fit and i would maybe be seen dead in . Also another gorgeous rose covered king size bed set , have roses gone out of fashion ? As if fashion has ever mattered to
Sarcastic Son and I did a car boot sale Sunday , didnt make much but once again we didnt have anything very interesting to sell mainly jumble sale stuff and it will keep me in bread and milk for the week .
Work ..ho hum just gets worse week by week they just keep paying us less and less and wanting more and more , I cant afford the fuel to travel round the county doing the odd job here and there , that they grudgingly want to pay a whole £2 for each , we do not receive any expenses so we are stuffed , this week, they sent me 100 jobs to turn round in 7 days , they do not grasp that Lincolnshire is a very big place and the fact they may pay me in the next 6 months doesnt really help . Started booking work from another company and after booking time into my diary they are now cancelling all the time slots down so theres big unpaid holes in the next few weeks .
Mr Bah Humbug is having a really bad phase with his walking , not quite sure where we go from here , he was told crutches wernt an option due to the pins and plates in his neck . the lady from occupational health suggested a wheelie walker , but he found he couldnt use it due to the lack of feeling in his feet , it made him trip constantly , so shes looking at other options .
Occupational health have said , he needs a property with a shower because our bathrooms to small for  any of the bath lifts available and have blasted a letter off to the Housing department about the lack of any banisters or handrails on our stairs being a major health and safety issue for everyone in the household not just him . Funnily enough it was well over a year ago we asked about handrails and were told tough by the council.
So if im not around much a the moment its just because life is really busy and I need sleep not because i dont enjoy your company . byyeeee

Thursday, 4 August 2016

My Favourite Spot On The Wall

So its been a fun packed return to Lincolnshire , when we got back there was a letter from the Job centre telling Mr Bah humbug that they had ceased his Jobseekers Allowance for not attending an appointment on the 2nd of June , which was really weird as he hasnt heard a thing from them in months because hes on a training scheme . Rang them up and they said that it was right so I ended up talking to them as he was starting to shout . 
So why has it taken you till the 25th of July to send a letter out informing us of this ?

Ive no idea, but you did miss the appointment .

He hasnt had anything to tell him he had an appointment!

Your right we never sent him anything , he will have to do a rapid reclaim online .

Ok we can do that , but its your error and it says we should ask for mandatory reconsideration 

Yes but its quicker to just reclaim online

So Mr Bah Humbug settled down to do the online rapid reclaim online , only to find it wouldnt work unless you lied on that one certain question that it always glitches on , it had also gained another 20 pages  of intrusive questions about other family members , my daughter said they can stuff off , its not as if they actually give you anything . so bless him he just put any old thing , then they sent him a text saying he had an appointment for 10 past 10 today . 

So off we toddled to the realms of Mordor , aka job center . The sun was shining the birds were singing and for the first time ever we managed to get a cripple parking space !!
Managed to get access to the lift , eventually and went to the shiny new jobcenter . 
The lovely lady on reception said your a bit early take a seat and there we sat and sat and sat . Turns out the appointment wasnt till 11.30 . 
Nothing new it was their error yet again , is it bad that they all know him there and kept saying hello .
Anyway it took all of 5 minutes to sort it they just copied and pasted his details back in and backdated it till the second of June . It just pays his National Insurance but that means we get housing benefit .
So thats why im banging my head on the wall , we have to reclaim housing benefit from scratch , it took nearly 6 months and an eviction notice to sort this out last time , so all this stress is caused by a simple data entry error at the Job Center .

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Hello Russia

A couple of other bloggers have also noticed a huge influx of Russian designated viewers on their google sats , so welcome. im not sure what google classes as Russia , its such a vast area and they keep annexing bits here and there , it may just be a google glitch, not unknown . Plus we have most of Lithuania living just down the road in Boston so we may have been annexed and Lincolnshire could well be a secret Russian State ?

totally irrelevant shot from Lincoln castle walls  

Well onwards with this weeks trials , a weekend in a field in Leicestershire  Mr Bah Humbug decided we should put the tent next to the toilets for his convenience , but then found out there isnt anyway to get two people into a blue portaloo in the case of emergency !! The music was so loud that it felt like the Americans were invading every time a Clash track came on , with me being tone deaf ,music that loud means i cant follow any conversation and they played it from 8am till 2am both day and night  AARRGGH it was like a form of torture , im shattered and also ended up with a stomach bug due to either the truly disgusting toilets or the number of insect bites im covered in . Mr Bah Humbug had a great time with his mate and i just sat and read , i realise that people think im snobby and not a mixer at these events , but its just that I dont drink a great deal and I cant follow what they are saying if the music is loud . The things you do to make your partner happy
So heres a tale from long ago , we were once invited on holiday with some friends who we had barely seen for a few years , we were sharing a flat at the seaside and it seemed like a good time to get reaquainted , kid free etc . Now me being naive and a bit thick didnt realise that said friends were now into recreational drugs on a grand scale . They had constant spliffs on day and night , they were doing lines of coke all the time , popping pills constantly and im sat there in amazed horror . Once again i was deemed no fun because i didnt want to join in . Mr Bah Humbug just hugged his bottle of JD and said no thanks .

So im afraid thats me im an official  joy sapper in the eyes of many , maybe thats why im never invited anywhere ? lol..or could it just be that im quiet and self contained and live in my own little bubble ? in fact maybe im on the Autistic Spectrum like so many other family members , I will go and consult doctor google !!

Friday, 29 July 2016

Why Do We Do It

Well ive managed to post a little bit of Runrig but couldnt manage to put it in the actual post , the joys of being a technophobic old biddy im afraid .
Scary times getting Mr BH to and from the castle , he decided that he wouldnt pay £10 for a taxi up to the castle and through sheer stubbornness he climbed every one of those wretched steps by the galleries , he has a lovely set of black toes and he had to sit for 3 hours once he got there just to be able to get on his feet to walk in  , then wouldnt take his drugs because he wanted to enjoy the concert ...MEN.
G4S were doing the very perfunctory security checks and the support act was the Hare Krishnas who turned up for a singalong and boogie with the crowds in the queue , munchkin wanted to join them and is now chanting merrily , its a bit eerie all the crowd chanting along in the shadow of the castle , ive always had a fondness for the Krishnas , they always seem so cheerful , my ex once dragged us to a lunch with them , excellent vegan food and a bit of chanting , just the word free was enough to get him there .
The concert was excellent , wed picked a nice easy to get to seating area , they pointed out theyd played the castle 6 times , it made me feel so old id been there for 5 of those gigs , in fact it was rather like the march of the cripples getting into the gig , were all getting old , the munchkin was shattered he kept dozing off until a track he knew came on then he was up and singing yet again .
Getting Mr BH out of the gig was a nightmare , hed stiffened by then but with the help of some friendly drunks we managed , then discovered he couldnt walk because his ankles had swelled like balloons , daughter came to the rescue with a pedal taxi , which we rammed him and the munchkin in and launched him down hill , told the little taxi lad to park him against a lamp post outside the hotel .
The munchkin is now overjoyed because he was singing his head off and drunks kept giving him money . All and all a great night despite the fact my resident cripple is still in a bit of a state , he may lose a few toe nails , but as he says he cant feel his feet so why worry .
This is about the time he informed me his mate had bought us tickets for a scooter rally this weekend , so ive not unpacked the camping gear and were off again today a wet field in Leicester im informed , havent even got the washing all dry from Edinburgh .
Edinburgh was lovely never seen so many tourists in so many nationalities , it was clean the locals were friendly it doesnt take the piss price wise , super good cheap public transport even on a sunday it turns up on time !!  Park and ride is free and has lots of cctv so your vehicles fine overnight . Would we do it again? , well it depends if any of my stubborn idiot of a other half has a few more bits fall apart bless him . My daughter has mentioned christmas shopping something i dont indulge in , but it may be an excuse for a cheap trip

dance called america - Runrig Edinburgh castle

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Holidays...The Return

Nice to be back it isnt , I could cheerfully have spent another week languishing in the tent , with Mr Bah Humbug .
We stayed at Thorntonloch just outside Dunbar , I dont think I could have driven any further with my driving instructor beside me ..aka ..Mr Bah Humbug , we managed till the ride home ,I spat my dummy and told him to shut ..but he has now added a new catchphrase to the family dialogue "cock wombles" this is applied to all Audi drivers and those who cut you up on the A1. Another one of his imaginary swear words conjured up for the enjoyment of the Munchkin .
The campsite was lovely we were tucked into a corner under some trees and apart from a couple of other tents were left in peace , they said they didnt have disabled facilities , but we managed , the showers were a little deadly and needed some proper anti slip matting and there was no  proper steps at a couple of points around the toilet block just big stones . Nice to know the site warden gets up and cleans the toilets at first light , a fellow member of the early risers club i think . Mr BH couldnt do the main path through the dunes so he didnt toddle down to the glorious beach . I think this is the ideal stopping off point if you doing the long journey up to Edinburgh or to the Highlands , quiet and peaceful , very faint traffic noice and the occasional train in the far distance drowned out by the waves when the tide is up . Now for the giggle , theres a huge nuclear power station next door , they dont mention it in all their publicised blurb but you can hardly miss it . MR BH has a field day with endless Homer Simpson jokes , we already knew, but it must come as a bit of a shocker if you turn up and didnt realise till you got there . You cant really see anything for the huge sand dunes and I can vouch for the fact that the huge amount of rabbits do not have glow in the dark green eyes or fangs .
I shall return and blog about the wondrous Edinburgh visit once ive tackled the washing mountain

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Hooray Hooray its a Holiday !!

Back at xmas my daughter bought me some concert tickets for Runrig at Edinburgh Castle next weekend . Wonderfull, but we hadnt really thought this through very  Its just a week away and Mr BH has hit a bad spell with his walking , so I contacted the venue and found that because he hadnt got an ambulatory disabled ticket theres not a lot they can do to help . Short of popping him in a wheelbarrow ive no idea how we will get him in and out of there . Plus we are going to camp up there for a few days as well , just to let him get over the trip up and whatever we have to do to get in and out of the venue . Due to the budget problems we cant afford to hire transport for him , but he still wants to go and we have the munchkin going to his first big concert , while mum and partner are going down in the moshpit . We are staying at the cheapest campsite outside Edinburgh and travelling into town, shouldnt be a problem they have excellent cheap public transport its just the trip up and down to the venue, we are staying in a flat funded by my daughter for that night  ....what have i let myself in for . Holiday ?  more like survivalist training .
Meanwhile we had the much awaited Assessment of Needs the other day , really nice lady from occupational health , who was just appalled that Mr BH is judged to be fit for work .
But you do realise how dangerous this is ?
Of course we do .
But you can barely walk and the compression of standing is going to cause you far more damage .
Pain is an irrelevance, I am capable of all movements required , you can read my ESA report if you want . I was cured by Capita, better than Lourdes .
Anyway the gist of what was suggested , is that he needs a shower to be fitted and also some form of bannisters fitting onto the stairs , not as easy as that sounds as the walls cant support anything . Because he lives surrounded by family all his care needs are met . But there isnt a carers  allowance unless he was alone with someone and even then we would have to fight for it . I did point out what would happen if anything happened to me and she informed me he would be put into full time care .
So this has made him even more determined to go on holiday, sometimes you just cant make my life

Monday, 11 July 2016


I had the pleasure of the schools sports day last week , every bit as cringeworthy as it was back in the day ...even though the day was a long long time ago . The headmaster was running round with a shovel desperately trying to fill in the mole hills that resembled the Somme , the grass had been cut but it resembled haymaking more than mown . But the thing I noticed is that the kids cant skip , has skipping died a death, has it become like marbles a playground thing that isnt encouraged anymore ?
Munchkin won by miles and hes only a squirt . Do the kids never use the field anymore? All rather baffling .
Affordable Housing ......   who decides that housing is designated affordable?  the wonderful affordable housing they tuck into most estates is usually tucked into some dark and gloomy corner or next to the land drainage pumps in Lincolnshire , but they now no longer have to build affordable housing into any development . So all the retirees from the Carbuncle in the Corner  aka London ,wont have to be troubled by the locals anymore, they can live in their gated communities after selling their 2 up  2 down and have everything delivered to their door , while pretending theyve retired to the countryside .
If I sound a little bitter and twisted its because our not so local post office and shop  has announced that they will no longer be selling food , they only sold basic items like bread and milk and a few groceries but to even stay open they have decided they can no longer afford to do that and will just sell locally produced crafts and tourist tat , the new post office contract no longer pays a wage only comission on what they sell so the hours are being reduced as well . It will be having to pop to the tourist hell that is Woodhall Spa if you need anything . We are now a group of villages with no services the post office hanging by a thread , all we have is endless delivery vans.
People who have lived here for generations are being squeezed out by endless streams of retiring Londoners , they dont use the schools , so they keep shutting , but they dont seem to think it through very well .
 Its all very well coming to live here , its beautiful but how you cope with life deteriorates  , it might not be a problem waiting 5 weeks for a GP appointment when your fit and healthy , What happens once you cant drive anymore ? theres no public transport .
 Shopping ? well what happens when you deteriorate to the point where the internet is a struggle . Do you want to be facing moving again in your 70s and 80s?
Mostly they have no idea how bleedin grim it can be in a winter , weve had a few mild winters , the Spring after a bad winter half the properties in the area are for sale

Thursday, 7 July 2016

The Lackluster World of the Poor

Im still here!!  Just been rather busy ,the few days of nice weather have meant that working and major yard chores are eating my life , not a jot of crafting have i done and ive spent a whole 10p on thrift items , i do love a bit of Spanish Holiday tat . Mr Bah Humbug has threatened to have me sectioned if I get a donkey with a sombrero .

Its been a strange week it was the munchkins School Fair and Granny had to attend , now ive always been a ,so long as they arent maiming other children let them get on with it kind of parent and im just as bad as a Granny , dont fret the small stuff they grow up into great adults . So munchkin was rampaging round the school fair with the parents looking on in horror his teacher meanwhile just smiles and says he enjoys life so why not . But then it gets to the big raffle and they had excelled themselves this year . There was some pretty amazing prizes , his little friends name comes out and he proceeds to have a spectacular melt down when his mother leaps on the spa day prize and he wants some tacky toy .
Then a few names later the Munchkins name comes up and he marches up to pick a prize and he picks ......a huge sack of logs . His headmaster looks at him gone out and then says wouldnt you like to go out for pizza ? or bowling? The Munchkin draws himself up and says ..I have a use for them!!  he looked and sounded so like his great grandad it was scary . The bag of logs was bigger than he was but he dragged them back to the car .
When he gets home he passes Mr Bah Humbug on his way to his bedroom with his sack who looks at him gone out and asks if hes living in a parallel dimension.
So what did a seven year old want with a huge sack of logs? Well we dont have a wood burner or fireplace so even I was intrigued . When I went upstairs he has them all lined up on his bed wearing a pair of his underpants each, he then decided that he liked one particular log and this is now Loggy his new best friend who he sleeps cuddled up to at night . His mother then went up the wall because hed decided to put them under his bed to keep his pet woodlice in !! I'd sort of forgot to tell her about the boxes and jam jars of creepy crawlies he keeps hidden up there . I got a long lecture about encouraging his
I have been informed by the Munchkin that Mr Bah Humbug has given Loggy a face and its currently in his school rucksack so mummy cant burn  We are also going to build a wildlife home with the rest of the logs , so he can collect more creepy crawlies !!
I'ts great being a granny !!!

Friday, 1 July 2016

This seems very appropriate today so ive dragged it out of the archives , apologies to those who have seen it before .
Maybe its the 100 year anniversary of the Great War that drew me to my Great Grandad , I can remember been taken by my great grandma to see his name on the war memorial . She was a women of legend widowed 3 times and as i also found out looking through birth and census records a mother of many . She didnt tolerate fools and idiots even into her 90s  and was still pottering to the betting shop and the pub for a lunchtime half of stout up until her death .
Its a sad tale really, Frank died in 1916 at Thiepval in France his body was never found , he was 26 and left great grandma with 5 children the youngest who he never saw was my grandad . I do have a very bad photo of him from regimental records indulging in bayonet practice , he does look a weedy little chap and had been unfit for foreign service at the beginning of the war , but because of the manpower that was lost he eventually ended up in France . He was a fustian cutter before the war working in the Cheshire Mills , having found his army number it was a simple matter to look at the Commonwealth War Graves Commission
 and this is what i found 

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Training Mission

Well this is a Mr Bah Humbug tale ...
Mr BH has been visiting a disability back to work training center for 6 months now  a couple of days a week and has found it an interesting venue for his bad sense of humour . He was given a new trainer a couple of weeks ago , having had the last 5 months with a lovely lady in which she has been a huge help to him in boosting his confidence more than anything . Hes had a couple of interviews for jobs , one of which he was sure he would get till they saw the level of his problems , it isnt just a bit of a limp on some days .
The mindfullness  lady he had endless phone conferences with was as mad as a bag of rats , hes still baffled as to how positive energy is going to make his life wonderful .
Anyway, he has this new imported from another dimension trainer , he has only 3 weeks left and this bloke is of the school of, bad back = shirker .
Now his trainer has decided that Mr BH can be a bus driver ...mmmmm
now being  the evil sarcastic swine that he is Mr BH chimed up with .
Great I'd love to do that ! and some of the others nodded their heads .
So yesterday they had to attend the first part of his first aid training course , the job they have in mind for them all is disabled kids school bus driver . So there were a few differently abled attendees . The poor bloke running the course did the usual lets introduce ourselves speech .
Hi im Ian , im your trainer for today , im an ex paramedic .
Most were the normal im so and so , they then got to Mr Strange who goes to the same training place as Mr BH and has rather odd mental health problems , who proceeded on a whole rant about not needing to know his name because he had rights .
He then proceeded on with the course which went quite well classroom style learning till lunch , then they got to the Doris the Dummy CPR training .
They were all rolling around on the floor till they got to MR BH who pointed out that if he got down there it would be good training trying to get him back off the floor . They compromised with chucking the corpse on a table and him trying to kill it that way .
Then they had a tea break and Mr BH got chatting to the trainer who asked him what was wrong , he explained and the poor bloke was horrified .
You cant possibly drive a bus you'd never pass a medical for anything let alone that . Do you still have your driving licence?
Yes but it took a lot of arguing to keep it
then another bloke chimed up with
I have a provisional licence
Mr Strange was by now talking to himself in a corner and Mr Bah Humbug told them hed be fine , hed take his pills soon and usually calms down .
They then started defibrillator training and one bloke chimes up with !
Should I really be doing this , I have a pacemaker
The next thing they know is Ian the trainer Is shouting at the new bloke down the phone about did it not cross his mind that they have a duty of care towards the children on these buses and this miscellaneous bunch of cripples arent suitable .
Somewhat to his amazement Mr Bah Humbug passed the course , he has sent his new trainer an email telling them hes decided that hes staying with the group for an extra 2 months . And hes signed up for all the courses on offer !!

Monday, 27 June 2016

Politicians Needed (previous applicants need not reapply )

So the great unwashed has risen ?  the uneducated went to the polling station instead of Glastonbury ?
Bad choice there Dave, should have checked your calendar a little better shouldnt  you?
So heres another political broadcast from the Old Biddy Party .
Well this is all a bit of a surprise isnt it , my mother won an election !! Shes suitably horrified that her free bus is still been driven by a Rastafarian and that weird beardy bloke with a carpet behind his seat . Mother dearest we arent about to start cattle prodding people into the sea just because you dont like their colour creed or nationality . Your doctor will remain a nice girl in a headscarf who puts up with inherent racism every day of her life and feels no urge to join ISIS except after half an hour in your company .
Dave...there you and the missus were checking the sausage rolls on the buffet at your victory party when the results started rolling in ..ooops .. Your missus wore her victory dress and let a tear fall as you announced your resignation , what was going through her mind was "Oh shit " no retirement to endless cocktail parties in Brussels for us , now you know how the other half feel when theyre partner gets made redundant , hes going to be boring you to death with this story for the next 30 years at least.
Meanwhile George Osbourne has been hiding under the dining table with a calculator and a pencil trying to think of a way to squirm out of this unholy mess. He couldnt think of anything so now he plans to punish us big time by claiming he has to make these cuts to pay for us leaving  George, this may not be  quite as easy as you think . Folks who already have nothing , no jobs, no prospects, no education dont care anymore what you do  .
OK...Jeremy love , you got this a wee bit wrong if you had sided leave, the mob would now be baying for a General Election in which they would be pushing you to Victory . Though im deeply proud that you handed your deputy his wellies and sent him off to Glastonbury telling him everything would be fine ..Then proceeded to axe your party to bits , your training him so well in The Game of Thrones .

To our overseas readers ......dont panic ...we may have done the wrong thing in the worlds eyes and pushed the self destruct button on our economy , but we are a nation of scrappers and survivors and also a very nice and cheap holiday destination with very good exchange rates , low crime , few guns and multiracial taxi drivers just like at home . We even made Donald Trump welcome , him and Boris are going to make politics entertaining for years . while quietly behind the scenes the people who really run this country and yours, get on with the job ...< insert weird horror movie cackle at this point >

Monday, 20 June 2016

The Quiet Before The Storm

Sometimes this is the best bit of the day , just me and the ginger ninja before they all surface for the day , kettles on and im gasping for my first
Sorry ive not been around much , work and chores have rather eaten my life this week . The constant monsoon season weather we have been getting has turned the garden into a lush green paradise , gorgeous to look at but you know that once we get a couple of decent days there is going to be endless garden work to do . The Strawberries have kicked in , huge berries but very bland and tasteless due to all the rain . The fruit trees are weeks ahead of usual and laden down , poor show on the plums but theyre always erratic .
We had to take Young Baldrick to the hospital the other day , it had been carefully plotted with his keyworker so that he didnt know we were going or that i was taking him , just his eye appointment . So when we got there he was with his latest girlfriend , who was basically his clone  , dyed black hair , lots of piercings jam jar bottom glasses etc etc etc , so just to forestall an argument we kidnapped her and took them both to the hospital . Boston hospital is every bit as bad as its reputation , even worse there is nowhere to park even in the cripple spaces , Mr Bah Humbug had been dragged along so we could park so I abandoned Baldrick and his clone and we took ourselves off to the Brewers Fayre  up the road to wait for them , after all she needs to know what she has let herself in for .
This is the first time we have entered a chain pub in years , Barton House . Strange experience. The staff were all lovely and helpful  then Mr Bah Humbug pointed out they did lunch time specials and that he had sold something on ebay so lets eat .  Well it was food , there was nothing wrong with it . It was just so bland i had fish chips and peas, totally tasteless the fish must have been frozen back in the ice age , frozen chips and frozen peas. The plates were huge and red hot  , it just made the portions look pathetically small and the food itself was lukewarm . Mr Bah Humbug had gammon and chips once again nothing wrong with it just bland . You could have unlimited soft drinks and
I somehow managed to get the button stuck on the ice machine , its was throwing ice everywhere , i told a member of staff and it never did get cleaned up .
This makes me sound like a right moaning old biddy , but we eat out so rarely its a major treat .
Mr Bah Humbug was more surprised by the condition of the place there were trees growing in the gutters , the windows were rotten , handrails not attached very well and the paving wasnt great , it was clean just very time worn , big holes in the car park etc etc . We didnt expect a gourmet experience but this is the only eatery at that end of town and there were a lot of people visably from the hospital .
That was my highlight of the week and it turned into a huge disappointment , it wasnt that cheap either .

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

Do People Just not Listen?

Yesterday I had a meeting with the bank, it all went rather strangely , I saw the nice little girl I usually explain all my woes to and she rang the credit control people and got me to speak to them . I explained that I now hadnt made a single penny from the business in 3 months due to companies failing to pay me and not paying me at the stated rates . That was fine . We did the income part of the interview , then we got to the expenditure part .
We need details of all your debts
These are my debts
No we need your credit and store cards your finance debts etc
Havent got any
Errrrrrr maybe we should go on to something else .
Well we went through the list of stuff and she got quieter and quieter , then she said i will have to put mimimum figures in all the boxes as we cant put zero .
So it seems i should be spending £20 a week on hairdressing and clothes, who knew?
Healthcare dentists and perscriptions £10 a week ...I wish
the list went on and on .
At the end she said that we couldnt possibly be living on the amount we have coming in and I had to explain that we are part of the lucky estimated 20,000 couples trapped in the benefits limboland created by the switch to universal credit .
She then said she was terribly sorry the best she could do was give me a 60 day break from the endless phone calls,letters and fees. Then set up a review for August to see if the situation had changed .
At this point im grateful for anything .
Now im off to talk to EE ...see if they can explain why when i rang to pay my contract mobile the price was twice what it usually is !! Wish me luck

Sunday, 12 June 2016

A Party Political Broadcast from the Old Biddy Party

Today having spent the weekend in Thetford Forest listening to rather good psychobilly and ska , drinking my last tin of G&T for the foreseeable future and setting the world to rights with various scooterist affiliates , I thought we would have of one of my crystal ball looks at the current political scene .
Finally someone has stated the bleedin obvious fact that even if we vote leave it doesnt mean we will leave . Thankyou Samcams stepdad for pointing that one out .
It seems the referendum is a useless farce , we the voting members of the public have no say in whether we leave the EU or not , it is down to a vote by MPs and the Lords and even dear old Queenie who if she wanted to be a pain could flatly refuse to sign and stamp the paperwork , it would perhaps be a fitting tribute to her 90th birthday , "Oh dear Mr Cameron , I cant find a pen "
 I rather enjoyed watching Dave get a good mauling by a second generation Indian gentleman who stated another pretty obvious fact , that he cant get a GP or school place for his children and cant afford to buy a garden shed in the London borough in which he lives due to immigration  . sadly Dave and his little gang of public schoolboys do not grasp that these are the issues that matter to us the working class . It left him stood there flapping waffling and just not answering the questions . Well he could hardly shoot down the bloke with the usual , you are racist .
Im thinking of opening a branch of Hug A Corbyn , the more i see this bloke the more i want to take him home and feed him . But its his quiet smug little grin I like . he reminds me some what of Yoda , small inconsequential and really badass in an emergency . He really doesnt have to do a lot does he just quietly stand there at the ballot box calmly telling the truth as he drowns in Cameron sweat and the bile of the Tories . Dont underestimate this strange little beardy , ive a feeling hes just bidding his time and enjoying the Tory Party imploding . His own Party loathe him they want another Tony Blair but once The Chilcott Enquiry hits the ground somehow I dont think being a Blairite will be quite so popular .
Sadly the referendum is turning into a vote on immigration , we dont object to immigration , we object to the idiotic levels that have been allowed . Immigrants have enriched this country in so many ways . The vote to stay or leave shouldnt rest on a single theme its about so much more , our appalling inexperienced, no common sense government  , have merely shown us how spineless and useless they are . We should let the oldies take over they seem to be the only people showing a common sense approach to the whole situation, regardless of the party they support .

Monday, 6 June 2016

Meanwhile in the Real World

The huge question this week was whether i would be paid this week , did I get paid? Sort of , the payment didnt even cover the cost of doing the extra work , after the bank took their share  I was left with nothing and quite a few things outstanding that need paying ..ho hum whats new . But its only 4 weeks till the next payday and im flat out for the company that pays me eventually at the proper rate , so they will all have to squeal for their money . Thats the cascading fact of self employment , its not till the top of the pile gets paid that us folk on the bottom rung get paid our share , it happens all the time . Mr Bah Humbug has pointed out that taking more of the same work isnt worth doing . Meanwhile I will continue on with the endless applications for other employment it would be nice if anyone ever replied or acknowledged me . Its been pointed out that my qualifications are all useless these days , it seems that o levels are redundant, unless you have NVQs you cant even get a job as a carer they also require  a 10 year checkable work history , somewhat difficult when youve been self employed for years , i did laugh when I realised that every employer I have worked for has now liquidated , the one that provides my current workload refuses to give references to anyone so thats me  buggered. I do have a couple of NVQs but they are in mechanical engineering, ive had a rich and varied career path over the years .
In fact I talked to a lovely sympathetic lady on the job center helpline who said in more polite terms that im up shit creek without a paddle , because im self employed i cant pack up work unless im declared bankrupt even if its costing me money doing the job , its unlikely  that i would find employment because of my age ..ffs im 52 thats 14 years till i can retire . But because I need some more years of employment to qualify for a full state pension I need to return to employment or sit on my bum while the Job Center pays my stamp . She suggested taking up voluntary work !!
Tempting , if I could afford it , Im sure the Citizens Advice Bureau would take me , I could deal with energy matters .
I once got offered a job with EnergyWatch the ombudsman lots of years ago I would imagine im now to old for that as well , in fact I might inquire !!
Sorry for the winge , life is really getting me down at the moment .

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Motivation Required

Im convinced ive reached my mid life crisis , ok so im past mid life . This Bank Holiday has been spectacularly boring , been nowhere, done nothing . Mr Bah Humbug has been family bonding , something im not very welcome at . Daughter and munchkin trundled off on holiday . Leaving me and sarcastic son sat here . We loaded up the car and under protest he came and did a car boot sale with me , just so i could afford fuel his we didnt make much but it was mainly rubbish , outgrown clothes etc , so it was money made from stuff that would normally go in the charity bag . Im once again working loads of hours this week , so will be coming home to snore in the chair and view the washing yurt with pride .
Mr Bah Humbug did a stunner last week, i'd been at work and got home at 3 pm only to have a little voice shouting help as i got in the door . He'd somehow managed to fall off the toilet and get wedged head down between the door and the loo , it didnt do his dignity much good when I had to get son to help move him so we could get in the door to rescue him . We are forbidden to even mention this episode and just get the death stare ,and he wont tell us how long he'd been here , so I thought I would post it on here to annoy him . The worst of it was the cat had been up licking his bald patch as a gesture of sympathy , the ginger ninja is good that way .
Ive got to skive off work to go and sort Young Baldrick out today , he has a meeting with the safeguarding team and he has to have an appropriate adult , all the rest of the family refused to go even the interfering relatives , i think im the last name on the list at the moment , so will go and just see what the hell hes been up to this time.
Still awaiting wages with interest , such is life. Talked to the nice benefits lady the other day , she says im the only person on the books who is genuinely worse off for bothering to work . Still nothing they can suggest to remedy the situation . My mother meanwhile suggested her remedy for the situation , I should either murder my other half or just abandon him and get on with having a life , bless she sounds like a commenter on my blog  , maybe it is my mother ? either that or ive developed a split personality due to stress and im posting comments on my own blog .

Thursday, 26 May 2016

Look on the Brightside

Im rather stumped by the attitude that we should be banging on the Foodbank door , I guess its just me but after a 23 year marriage to a bi-polar alcholic who couldnt stop spreading himself around , my current life is pretty easy .
Poverty is relative , things have been worse , theyre paying the housing benefit , we have a very small monthly benefit payment , daughter is in work and son is quite good at arguing with the benefits office so gets his pittance every fortnight .
 Getting paid for My job is a nightmare , but I still quite like it , on a good day , it gets me out, which is the main thing . It means i can keep a vehicle as its a tax deduction in most ways , it gives me a break from poo and endless washing .
You cant pick youre relatives , yes my mother is a nightmare , shes also a wealthy nightmare , but believe me when i say there is nothing that would make me like her attitudes and sheer bigotry against the human race . I will not agree with her just so i am in her will and the rest of the family need to get over that .
Young Baldrick is driving us mad at the moment , but it will eventually sort itself out .
Today Mr Bah Humbug sold some weird bit of vehicle on ebay so we went to Moy Park the local chicken factory  and I have £7.50 worth of chicken in the freezer , you can get an awful lot of chicken for your money ..i have tons of plans for it, June is now  chicken month
We still have the internet , ive just been looking up Navajo Fried Indian Bread, sounds like a good idea to me , tomorrows tea with chicken something .
Mr Bah Humbug had one of his group meetings with the Shaw Trust today and he said they were shocked when he said we rarely shop in a supermarket . He pointed out why would he when we can get 24 tins of beans for £2.40 , buy 800g packs of Bacon for 85p and buy army ration packs of meat 2kg for £2.75  its a case of careful shopping around. When things are this tight there are things that arent on the menu we dont buy pop squash or soda , we dont buy biscuits or cakes , no crisps  , no cereal other than bleedin porridge . I can scratch cook really well from practically anything , i know how to forage for greens and the garden will kick in shortly , thats what adds the variety to our diet , that and the endless little bags in the freezer . We have run out of cheese ..AARRGGHHH used the last of the xmas Brie on the top of a lasagne yesterday , so tomorrow i will be foraging for cheap decent cheese in the dark realms of Grimsby .
Yes were broke but we eat well, it can be a bit boring and yes i lost a stone when we gained an extra family member but i could lose 10 stone and still be called fat by my mother. I havent had a penny in my purse for 6 weeks , the bank rings 10 times a day , but things could be much worse .

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Still Here

No i havent been murdered in my sleep yet , ive just been cooking on a zilch budget , dealing with the fools and idiots that employ me and gardening myself into a coma .
How come something so relatively simple as the government living wage can cause me so many problems ?  I havent been paid because theres a huge squabble over how we will be paid in the future , they refuse to increase the wage they pay us , saying that because it is commission based it doesnt affect us ...mmmmm sorry but it does, saying that there is a possibility we could earn £12 an hour isnt good enough , that means we could work 40 hours and only earn £12 .
 Refusing to pay for work that has got back to you after the completion date, that was returned recorded delivery and signed for 2 weeks before the completion date, but you dont have the office staff to process it because you have made them all redundant isnt good enough .
I just wish I could find another job that fits around my carer duties !!
Young Baldrick ...wherever he is , we dont know.
 He had a major domestic with his dad and his dad wants no more to do with the situation , the police became involved over problems at his scheme and he was told he must leave for 3 days he refused to come here and it went on from there , they were moving him to another unit the last we heard .
Cooking on a budget of zilch is going quite well, ive managed to string a pack of mince out for 4 meals and it wasnt a big packet   Sadly its now tourist season here, so theres nothing in the local food shops that we can possibly afford, its all gone organic and farm fresh for the middle class masses that holiday here , theres no end of day bargains hardly and all the staple stuff like bread and milk has jumped 20p per item . One more week till we have any guaranteed income at all . Keep going down the garden and staring at the spuds and beans , netted the strawberries yesterday, cant wait im sick of rhubarb . Will the sweetcorn ever grow is the question and will the squash pop up . Fruit trees are looking promising so we will have tons come the season, its just the long boring wait for food variety.