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Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Training Mission

Well this is a Mr Bah Humbug tale ...
Mr BH has been visiting a disability back to work training center for 6 months now  a couple of days a week and has found it an interesting venue for his bad sense of humour . He was given a new trainer a couple of weeks ago , having had the last 5 months with a lovely lady in which she has been a huge help to him in boosting his confidence more than anything . Hes had a couple of interviews for jobs , one of which he was sure he would get till they saw the level of his problems , it isnt just a bit of a limp on some days .
The mindfullness  lady he had endless phone conferences with was as mad as a bag of rats , hes still baffled as to how positive energy is going to make his life wonderful .
Anyway, he has this new imported from another dimension trainer , he has only 3 weeks left and this bloke is of the school of, bad back = shirker .
Now his trainer has decided that Mr BH can be a bus driver ...mmmmm
now being  the evil sarcastic swine that he is Mr BH chimed up with .
Great I'd love to do that ! and some of the others nodded their heads .
So yesterday they had to attend the first part of his first aid training course , the job they have in mind for them all is disabled kids school bus driver . So there were a few differently abled attendees . The poor bloke running the course did the usual lets introduce ourselves speech .
Hi im Ian , im your trainer for today , im an ex paramedic .
Most were the normal im so and so , they then got to Mr Strange who goes to the same training place as Mr BH and has rather odd mental health problems , who proceeded on a whole rant about not needing to know his name because he had rights .
He then proceeded on with the course which went quite well classroom style learning till lunch , then they got to the Doris the Dummy CPR training .
They were all rolling around on the floor till they got to MR BH who pointed out that if he got down there it would be good training trying to get him back off the floor . They compromised with chucking the corpse on a table and him trying to kill it that way .
Then they had a tea break and Mr BH got chatting to the trainer who asked him what was wrong , he explained and the poor bloke was horrified .
You cant possibly drive a bus you'd never pass a medical for anything let alone that . Do you still have your driving licence?
Yes but it took a lot of arguing to keep it
then another bloke chimed up with
I have a provisional licence
Mr Strange was by now talking to himself in a corner and Mr Bah Humbug told them hed be fine , hed take his pills soon and usually calms down .
They then started defibrillator training and one bloke chimes up with !
Should I really be doing this , I have a pacemaker
The next thing they know is Ian the trainer Is shouting at the new bloke down the phone about did it not cross his mind that they have a duty of care towards the children on these buses and this miscellaneous bunch of cripples arent suitable .
Somewhat to his amazement Mr Bah Humbug passed the course , he has sent his new trainer an email telling them hes decided that hes staying with the group for an extra 2 months . And hes signed up for all the courses on offer !!

9 comments:

  1. Considering what it's been like for the last year or so I reckon this is good news!

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    1. Mr BH has pointed out that his trainer will be down the job center shortly because this is a EU funded scheme and he intends torturing him for the remainder of his employment. BLess , haven't seen him this motivated for months

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  2. Oh how this brings it all back. I laugh now but at the time it was so,so frustrating not to be listened to.
    Every course Tom went on ended nowhere and like you say, as soon as they know about the back nobody wants to employ them.
    Most of these so called trainers etc have never had a bad back in their lives. Tom had a plaster cast on at one time, a corset and all the treatment available to no avail, the only option left was the op and even the Doctor advised against this.
    I wish you the best of luck, things can only get better can't they ?
    Briony
    x

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    1. Let's face it most of them are practically children with no real world employment experiance

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  3. OMG - I'm sitting here laughing - but honestly - you just couldn't make this up could you? I'm with Mr. Bah Humbug - torture them for as long as possible - at least it will keep him amused.

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    1. anything that puts a spring in his step is fine by me

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  4. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Lets just move the problem regardless of the outcome for all parties concerned. I hope the idiot got his just desserts. Love your sense of humour Kate.

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  5. They were all rolling around on the floor till they got to MR BH who pointed out that if he got down there it would be good training trying to get him back off the floor . They compromised with chucking the corpse on a table and him trying to kill it that way .

    food hygiene course

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    1. He's waiting for the start date for his computer course!!!!

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