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Monday, 27 June 2016

Politicians Needed (previous applicants need not reapply )

So the great unwashed has risen ?  the uneducated went to the polling station instead of Glastonbury ?
Bad choice there Dave, should have checked your calendar a little better shouldnt  you?
So heres another political broadcast from the Old Biddy Party .
Well this is all a bit of a surprise isnt it , my mother won an election !! Shes suitably horrified that her free bus is still been driven by a Rastafarian and that weird beardy bloke with a carpet behind his seat . Mother dearest we arent about to start cattle prodding people into the sea just because you dont like their colour creed or nationality . Your doctor will remain a nice girl in a headscarf who puts up with inherent racism every day of her life and feels no urge to join ISIS except after half an hour in your company .
Dave...there you and the missus were checking the sausage rolls on the buffet at your victory party when the results started rolling in ..ooops .. Your missus wore her victory dress and let a tear fall as you announced your resignation , what was going through her mind was "Oh shit " no retirement to endless cocktail parties in Brussels for us , now you know how the other half feel when theyre partner gets made redundant , hes going to be boring you to death with this story for the next 30 years at least.
Meanwhile George Osbourne has been hiding under the dining table with a calculator and a pencil trying to think of a way to squirm out of this unholy mess. He couldnt think of anything so now he plans to punish us big time by claiming he has to make these cuts to pay for us leaving  George, this may not be  quite as easy as you think . Folks who already have nothing , no jobs, no prospects, no education dont care anymore what you do  .
OK...Jeremy love , you got this a wee bit wrong if you had sided leave, the mob would now be baying for a General Election in which they would be pushing you to Victory . Though im deeply proud that you handed your deputy his wellies and sent him off to Glastonbury telling him everything would be fine ..Then proceeded to axe your party to bits , your training him so well in The Game of Thrones .

To our overseas readers ......dont panic ...we may have done the wrong thing in the worlds eyes and pushed the self destruct button on our economy , but we are a nation of scrappers and survivors and also a very nice and cheap holiday destination with very good exchange rates , low crime , few guns and multiracial taxi drivers just like at home . We even made Donald Trump welcome , him and Boris are going to make politics entertaining for years . while quietly behind the scenes the people who really run this country and yours, get on with the job ...< insert weird horror movie cackle at this point >

17 comments:

  1. Forgive me if you feel it's none of my business. In many ways the political chasm is similar in the U.S. and it reminds me of the old adage... "divide and conquer". Frustration has grown to anger, with people on both sides (here) slinging poisoned verbal arrows at each other. It's an embarrassing American phenomenon. Thing is, we must find a way through the fog of divisiveness to unity somehow--whatever side of the pond we're on--or the country we call "home" is at risk. I admire the British attitude of just getting on with it, and hope your country will do better than mine at finding solid, common ground to build upon.

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  2. Elise feel free to comment , all opinions are welcome . Im just a baffled bystander in what goes on in this country , but im afraid we have excelled ourselves this time and are rather enjoying watching the establishment run round like headless chickens, theyre all astonished that while they tossed it off at Glastonbury we went to the polling station , we are having a Tea Party moment !!!

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  3. Wish we could give our politicians a similar fright. I've no doubt that in five years time everyone will wonder what all the fuss was about.Maybe I'm naive but I don't believe that the majority of people in these islands are racist - just austerity weary and fed up with being ignored.I like your take on it anyway:-)

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    1. He he ...we live in interesting times

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  5. Yes the unwashed have risen up and punched the establishment in the nose. When George gets out from under the table he needs to be careful as the unwashed may just kick his political xxx if he tries to punish us!

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    1. More like come down from Middlesbrough and set their ferrets on him

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  6. It's not only the UK politicians sh**ting themselves, it's the rest of the arrogant Bs in mainland Europe too. I live in France and intend to remain here or they will have to carry me back kicking and screamng, but I fear we are all in for a very bumpy ride indeed. Anna

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    1. Guess they didnt bother to turn up for history at their public schools, both us and the French have a bit of a track record with kings and those who seek to rule us

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  7. I have lived to see a lot of things evolve or, in the Brexit thing, revolve. You would think I had seen it all by now, but obviously I have not. It will be interesting to see how things pan out here and across the pond, where you live, Kate.

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    1. Must admit Dave has never seemed happier , he looked positively glowing in Parliament yesterday, George however looks to have aged 20 years. Meanwhile Corbyn just sits there with that wicked grin and his axe dripping blood .

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  8. The Glastonbury team sent all ticket holders loads of reminders to urge us to register for postal votes or to vote via proxy if we'd missed the deadline. In our group of 11, ten of us voted postally (the only one who didn't was 4 years old). In fact, every person I spoke to at the festival this weekend had voted.

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    1. Yep the responsible adults voted that way , but all the dim witted youth just thought the vote was nothing to do with them, now they're screaming from the rooftops that their gap year is going to be to expensive ....hope you had a great time

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  9. I reckon Georgy Porgy disappeared cos there was a big fight in no.10 on Friday morning & he had a black eye so was hiding inside sulking with a bag of frozen peas on his normally smug mush.
    For the 1st few days post referendum I felt as tho we'd fallen thru the looking glass but I'm starting to enjoy watching our supposed betters (i.e..politicians)bumbling around. Clearly they never anticipated a Leave result so made absolutely no game plan.
    I do worry tho if BoJo becomes PM, Trump becomes POTUS then international relations with the likes of Putin & North Korea could be interesting, to say the very least!

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    1. I prefer the scarface theory, where he's been sat there with a kilo of cocaine trying to work out if he can afford it with the currency problems and no big fat retirement to Brussels

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  10. " Your doctor will remain a nice girl in a headscarf who puts up with inherent racism every day of her life and feels no urge to join ISIS except after half an hour in your company"

    You have a way with words, Ms. Kate. Love it!

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    1. Why thank you.....wear a headscarf with pride is my view, after all the queen has done for years!

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