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Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Year of The Lurgy

So 2016 is turning into the year of staring into the toilet bowl and thinking ..I must put more descaler down there . Just nicely got settled down from my xmas bout and im at it again , still feeling sorry for myself 4 days later , battered and bruised inside. One of the joys of abdominal surgery is the adhesions that can form afterward , the only time mine give me trouble is when im sick , so im hobbling round with a tummy thats bloated to 9 months pregnant and waiting for the inevitable revolting deflation , its going well as i can now keep the pills Though Mr Bah Humbug was a little horrified the other night when he spotted my belly button had shifted to the right by six inches , he should have seen me when i was pregnant many moons ago , my lump was totally lob sided
He once asked me what the problem was with my belly button , its sort of a mangled crater at its best , it got an infection after the fourth laparoscopy and it well fell out , they patched it up as best they could its functional i suppose , though once your born why we need it baffles me ,a friend who has Crohns  asked her surgeon to remove hers when he was tidying up her scars , she thinks it would be an an ace trick to whip her top up at parties and show shes an alien ?
I suppose spectacular ill health once your over it gives you a rather tainted view of the medical profession , im afraid i avoid them like the plague , its not helped by the weird conversations you can have with them . Many moons ago i fainted at work and they insisted that i go to hospital it was 3am and they had quite obviously just got the teenage zombie out of bed who was masquerading as the on call surgical junior .
 Think not sunshine , long gone
Mmm Gallstones
Try again no gallbladder
Mmm could be a blockage xray

one xray later
Did you know theres quite a lot missing in there ?
Staff Nurse . Have you tried reading the notes?

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