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Thursday, 30 January 2014

Kims Wedding Planner

Thats it ive had enough , I need to find a new career and ive seen just the job id be good at , Kim Kardasians wedding planner , honey I could spend your money perfectly .
Want a palace in France for the venue ? we can do better , the Queens been told to make more money from her palaces . So how about Windsor Castle , sorry we cant do an abbey or cathedral except maybe the dodgy one in Liverpool . plus in the price she will even lend you a bit of bling from her collection and supply the carriages.


Then you want lots of A list guests , mmmmm a little bit more problematic , doubtless Kims side will be pretty full with relatives . But who can we get for Mr Misery Guts . he must have some family and friends out there somewhere? I suppose its the Obamas, Oprah and Beyonce   just be careful nobody thinks Michelles his mom or she may have him shot , plus inviting The Obamas will save you the cost of security . The Beckhams and family will fill a few seats . Prince Charles will go anywhere theres an eco event and Camilla , anywhere she can sneak off for a fag and a gin. sorted
As for the dress, please love not white again , youve a buggy parked by the altar theres nothing virginal about that , except if your a chav.

Bridesmaids , theres plenty of choice but the dresses need to be really bad, otherwise your little sisters are going to outshine you . Pippa Middleton will do anything for the price of a  handbag and she does have experiance ?
The reception shouldnt be a problem , weve loads of desperate for publicity celebrity chefs , but if you apply that great tradition the free bar it should liven things up no end . Beyonce can earn her free flight by doing a turn maybe a few of those strange blokes with the half mast trousers could mumble something .
Anyway chuck I will send you my CV after all what have you got to lose?  plus its a full time job a wedding every 2 or 3 years

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