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Monday, 26 January 2015

Menopause.......

I really hate that statement "its just your hormones " No , I just hate you all because your a bunch of arses !!
It seems that every page of the internet today references the menopause , how we should all be queuing at the door of our endocrinologist to have our hormones replaced , right now . I really hate to tell them this but if you bang on most GPs door with that request the best you will get is a prescription for antidepressants.  In fact im sure that a lot of GPs think that is the only cure .
Now  some people really suffer and others barely notice it happen , but todays articles concentrated on the real horror stories.
But some I can sympathise with .
1, The panic attacks ....yep i panic a lot over the strangest things , like not being able to find a Jif Lemon in the supermarket , at the time my life depended on it and its not even pancake day for another month .

2, Losing things ...oh boy do I do this loads , purse in the freezer? thats me . Doing the checklist when you head out the door ..keys, purse, laptop, phone, cat tucked  under arm ...put laptop in boot and cat!!!! spend the day with a ginger cat sunning himself in the back window of the car .

3,  Strange dreams , the other night I was knitting Mylie Cyrus a new vagina !!! that one isnt in any dream book ive ever seen .

4, Sex Drive ...this is one  of natures big jokes , you become the horniest creature on the planet just as your partner has become one of the one in four over 40 who has erectile dysfunction . Plus theres the fact that your now such a wrinkly old hag that  nobody  else fancies you anyway .

5, You turn into a gorilla , theres hair every wear, you may even grow Elvis sideburns !!! You could have laser hair removal but  you need the budget of a small country for that . So its burka time!!

So come on what other menopause horror stories do you have ??



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