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Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Fat Bird Fashion Rant

I think im xmased out allready this year , ive wandered the county in the last week between funeral chores , popping into charity shops here and there , having to fight my way past hoards of old ladies trying to buy smellies from 3 years ago that wont have an ounce of smell , buyers of moth eaten xmas trees and the rest of the pickers looking miserable and despondent .
Then theres the horror of trying to buy real world clothes in basic black during the sparkly fat bird on a cruise season. I know choice is limited if your a fat bird but ive seen some really bizarre sights . why has everything got funny shaped hems ? the only real slimming item of clothing would be a camouflage onesie and a bunch of trees this time of year . Why would anyone want to cover themself in black sparkly sequins ? sort of Shirley Bassey does steroids . My mothers nearly 80 and wouldnt be seen dead in the stuff they sell in Evans. My daughter howls with laughter every time i have to venture into the place , she has suggested wearing a burka might make the experience more enjoyable .
Heres my big question for the fashion industry , if most of the country is a size 16 + why when you get anything new instore will there be 2 of each large size and 20 size 10s ? then come the sales thers no large sizes and 9 size 10s rotting on the rails?  Sainsburys you do great basics that dont drop to bits at the first wash. But why oh why did you ever employ Gong Wang ? has anyone ever been seen wearing the hideousness he designs?  do you ever sell any of them? The knockdown rails are packed with his offerings , scary stuff it is . Asda , I know its xmas but how many reindeer jumpers can one store have?
Meanwhile ive got to list this bit of size 22 loveliness on ebay at the weekend i never wore it , its just been hanging in the wardrobe looking beautiful for a long time, now i never have the occasion to wear it and the psoriasis never goes away , this is the back view it laces like a corset

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