Off To The Workhouse We Go

Well heres this weeks depressing post from the world of benefits claimants . AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH.
Im still staring at the 50 page ESA form wondering where the hell to start . Meanwhile ive got to apply for housing benefit which has a 40 page form that ive just printed off ...we may be entitled to £11 a week , oh joy touch my forelock and thank Mr Cameron for that one .
Were coming to the end of the savings and the backlog of JSA so things are going to get more than tough . currently we have ESA and 2 weeks of my part time work coming up to last us 4 weeks , it just cant be done , we wont starve its just the bills that wont get paid ...all the bills .
Then to cap it all and to once again set Mr Bah Humbug back to square one , we get a letter from The Job Center saying theyre taking £38 a week out of his £71 pounds ESA for the CSA !!!
Ring them up ,eventually get to speak to a very nice lady , who says good grief that cant be right !! You need to ring the CSA thats the order thay have sent through to us . And gives us a number

Ring number, press endless buttons sit on hold for 10 minutes at a gold nugget a minute , finally get through only to have Aiden promptly hang up on us . Ring again 15 minutes on hold only to get through to a vile creature called Mary in Belfast . He cant answer the security questions fast enough for her liking plus she then starts ranting on about me coaching him through the questions , I must leave the room or shes hanging up !! Im sorry love if his major depressive episode is interfering with him answering your questions . He is told that he must put any questions in writing because theyre not speaking to him on the phone , then she hangs up . Dont worry I will be putting my comments in writing and it will go to my MP as well .
Finally find another phone number for the CSA , get through to a very nice lady after another 15 minute wait . He explains that I deal with the matter and shes quite happy to speak me . Yep  its an error , the data onscreen doesnt match what they sent on the spreadsheet to the jobcenter . They apologise , matter sorted , it will be corrected .
 Now ive just got to convince my other half that its not his fault and that hes not useless and a burden, thanks CSA

 

Menopause.......

I really hate that statement "its just your hormones " No , I just hate you all because your a bunch of arses !!
It seems that every page of the internet today references the menopause , how we should all be queuing at the door of our endocrinologist to have our hormones replaced , right now . I really hate to tell them this but if you bang on most GPs door with that request the best you will get is a prescription for antidepressants.  In fact im sure that a lot of GPs think that is the only cure .
Now  some people really suffer and others barely notice it happen , but todays articles concentrated on the real horror stories.
But some I can sympathise with .
1, The panic attacks ....yep i panic a lot over the strangest things , like not being able to find a Jif Lemon in the supermarket , at the time my life depended on it and its not even pancake day for another month .

2, Losing things ...oh boy do I do this loads , purse in the freezer? thats me . Doing the checklist when you head out the door ..keys, purse, laptop, phone, cat tucked  under arm ...put laptop in boot and cat!!!! spend the day with a ginger cat sunning himself in the back window of the car .

3,  Strange dreams , the other night I was knitting Mylie Cyrus a new vagina !!! that one isnt in any dream book ive ever seen .

4, Sex Drive ...this is one  of natures big jokes , you become the horniest creature on the planet just as your partner has become one of the one in four over 40 who has erectile dysfunction . Plus theres the fact that your now such a wrinkly old hag that  nobody  else fancies you anyway .

5, You turn into a gorilla , theres hair every wear, you may even grow Elvis sideburns !!! You could have laser hair removal but  you need the budget of a small country for that . So its burka time!!

So come on what other menopause horror stories do you have ??

Ebay Weekend

Joy.....Its realise the car needs taxing and youve got bog all in the bank time...lol . So now ive got to make an effort and do some ebay listing at  http://stores.ebay.co.uk/katiesrecycle
The shop has been languishing for about 3 months , I never sell in the run up to xmas , to much stress and hassle.   stuff goes missing in the post , takes forever to arrive and theres a lot of people using ebay who have no idea what theyre doing but they want it NOW . So if you want to spend hours on the phone trying to sort out negative feedback from people who have pressed the wrong button and deal with crazy expectations of honest listings, be my guest , its just not for me .
Ive been listing the stuff I hate , things that are hard to post and my pet hate clothing .  I just cant take decent pics of  clothing , i have no sense of style and i always look as if i got dressed in the dark , mainly because i do!! Saying that its been selling as fast as i list it , but these are all stuff thats been laying around for ages .
The Shell Shades were at a giveaway price but I paid pennies for them and just got sick of moving them around , plus the postage was prohibitive and you cant insure glass items. Sold straight away, if you have the fittings they are Art Deco and fetch silly money

First of the Laura Ashley nighties has gone and I dont think the tatty writing slope will be here for long .

Ive made the effort to list the cow books , ive a theory they may have to go as fire lighters , but once again they came in a job lot from an auction  so have cost me nothing . Theres always that little voice saying things are worth more and you should hold out for a better price . But its a long time to car boot season

 Much more to list tomorrow , subject to family crisis of course , im beginning to feel my life is like a secondhand soap opera at the moment

Time Eaters

Somehow im losing big chunks of my life being a carer , every time I think weve had some improvement with Mr Bah Humbug something else comes along ..Now the CSA were put on this planet to serve no useful purpose other than to make anyone involved with them lose hope , they rang today and he answered next thing hes screaming down the phone at them , hurls it at me and says deal with that!!!
The gist of it was, why hadnt he paid any CSA since November when he was made redundant, his son was 19 in November and  my other half  has been unemployed since then  . Surprise, the age which you have to pay till has now been raised to 20 !!!! at this rate he will be paying till his son has kids. But they can only take £5 a week from benefits so his arrears are around the £60 mark, as we currently have only £71 a week to live on till I can go back to work full time, this means were down to a budget of zilch . We dont qualify for Housing or Council Tax benefit due to an interesting anomaly that Kesteven Council exploits to the hilt  because i am self employed on a zero hours contract they have to calculate my earnings at minimum wage for 40 hrs , the argument being I should just work harder , but you cant if the works not there .   Meanwhile im stuck with a bloke who cant come to work everyday with me because he only has to hit a bump and hes in agony and i have to find a babysitter for him when i go out because of the mental health issue . To cap it all ive another 50 page booklet to fill in from the ESA that needs filling inyesterday , that he hadnt told me about and to say hes un co-operative is an understatement all im getting is scowls and hassle at the moment .
So at the moment as I have nothing positive to show or tell and because I hate depressing blogs , Im not posting much but im reading you all and chipping in here and there.

Something pretty from the vaults!!

Of Wind & Waitrose

Bet you wondered where ive been, just had a busy work and trying to sort out Mr Bah Humbug kind of week , Sheffield to see the consultant this morning , hes discharged back to his GP for the time being, hes got to go to physio and get up to walking 5 miles a day, this may take some time as hes currently hobbling after 100 yards ..lol.. the look of horror on his face  . But theyve said that at the moment theres little they can do as the core spinal muscles are wasted he needs to build these up before they try anything else, at least the job center has agreed to pay his ESA quickly , im some what amazed at that . Plus we might try to get his carpel tunnel on his wrist done, hes been putting it off for ages , its a bit like owning a clapped out car hes always doing something .
Its been a wee bit windy here , weve lost a couple of fence panels and the wendy house set off down the garden , very Wizard of Oz .

I managed to sneak off for a few hours yesterday and did the charity shops of Market Rasen , all four were rammed full of stock , I guess everybody is purging for the new year , but I didnt see a thing that I could use , then the two shops at the top end of nettleham road Lincoln which were the just the same . So not a single thrifty purchase this week .
Just for a change I thought I would pop into Waitrose a place ive maybe shopped at twice in 10 years , its one of those supermarkets that you perceive as only being for the posh people . True I was followed round by the store detective ..lol ..but im used to that it always happens in M&S and you can have great fun tormenting them .  Pleasantly surprised by the place , yes it was full of posh people and the stock is amazing its full of deli items i wish i could  afford, but they also do some really nice own brand ranges . But the best bit is that at 12 oclock they had marked the short date stuff down by 50% , in Tesco its usually 30p off till 7pm , so i took advantage of some £2.00 mince packs that didnt even look grey and unappetizing, plus dips and cheeses  . In fact I came out with 2 bags full for a whole £8.00, so the freezer will look healthy again . The only quibble I could see was that the fruit and veg aisles had hardly any stock of cheap basics , they do sell them but the shelves were very empty , will I go again ?  yes if im passing that way , maybe the store detective will get used to me , if not i will start following him.......drives them mad...lol

Now We Are Six

Now we all have strange conversations with six year old boys , but the munchkin has been giving me some corkers this week
Grandma , when are the men with guns going to come and shoot us ?
What men with guns?
The ones on the TV who hate us
Theyre not
Yes they are, we arent muslims and they shoot you if youre not

Now how do you answer that to a six year old , hes not concerned with the bigger picture of the world just his six year world thats filled with lego and other little people. so here goes the best I could come up with .

We live in the countryside and lots of mummy and daddies have guns here so that bad people cant hurt you .
 His reply ............
James' dad has an Apache and they shoot the bad people !!

Cant you just tell we live in between two big RAF bases ?

When i was small , I must have been 6 or 7, my first vivid memory of war was Vietnam , the image of the little girl being napalmed as she ran down the road has stuck in my mind all these years . I had nightmares for ages after seeing that on the news .
I hope the events of the last couple of weeks dont give the munchkin nightmares , but how old do you have to be to realise that violence in anyones name is wrong ?

Lets Try

Managed to achieve a couple of days work this week having found a babysitter for Mr Bah Humbug , whos hobbling about in Eeyore mode bless him , still cant either sit stand or lay for any period of time without being in agony , though hes got a lot of tingly feeling coming back to his hands and arms , emergency appointment with the specialist next week at Sheffield , may have to drug him and lay him in the back of the van as he cant stand to even run over a pebble without grunting .
Havent done much thrifting, sneaked into the Moorlands Relate yesterday and spent a whole 10p on a flannelette sheet for a quilt backing . highlight of my week was 8am outside Lincoln Cathedral in the first light listening to the choirboys practicing . its so nice when its tourist free .

Daughter has been helping me with the 50 odd page ESA form that Mr Bah Humbug has to send in , how anyone whos off work with a mental health problem would be able to deal with this is beyond me , its a totally meaningless, over complex and continually repeating itself , doubtless we will do it wrong so once again it will be weeks till its sorted. we are fortunate that theyve just started paying the backdated JSA from October so we may get caught up with things...Life on Benefits why would anyone do it except through necessity

Mental Health Tissues

Not for the first time I'm wondering what I did wrong in a previous life. I love Mr Bah Humbug dearly and the one problem I have with him is that he never tells me things , he's only ever told me one lie many moons ago and that was that he was 5ft 7...errrr guess what I noticed when we first met in the flesh.
Now yesterday he started his new wonderful job , he's been behaving a little oddly for a few days, I just couldn't figure out what was up . last night he came home in a terrible state one leg dragging , no feeling or grip in his hands it had taken him an hour to drive a twenty minute trip. We've been at the doctors today turns out he's been told by two consultants that he shouldn't be doing manual work.
forgot to mention that didn't he , plus because of the state he was in today they threatened to section him , he's having a breakdown again ,  were back to square one , where he was two years ago .
So he's to be watched 24/7 for at least two weeks till his new pills kick in, that's going to be a good rota to post on the fridge.
Now It's may seem quite blasé , but the sad fact is I've been here most of my life , my dad had a breakdown, my ex husband was bipolar, ive seen more mental health facilities than most and can throw a bout of post natal depression many moons ago into the pot .
The new GP seemed appaled that I know the drugs inside out and the dosages, somewhat to my surprise she even slung a sick note for a month at him, not sure how this will work , because the job center will sanction him for 6 months for leaving employment , but doubtless we're going to find out

Negative Vibes

I currently feel that im existing in a different dimension to the rest of the family . Last night I managed a whole 9 hours sleep , something I just havent done while the youngest has been here , mooching round rooting through things half the night . I should have got up full of the joys of spring instead I woke up foul and have just not got any better as the days gone on . Daughter having returned from her adventures at Edinburgh Hogmanay Party , has took to the sofa with some vile chesty lurgy that will be spread to us all no doubt .
The munchkin hasnt had any sleep at his other grandparents, he has big black circles round his eyes and is a monster that should be abandoned wrapped in duct tape on the doorstep of Social Services .
Mr Bah Humbug is bouncing round excited about his new job tomorrow but is also practicing his role of munchkin killer , bless him, he really doesnt grasp just how totally p***ed off with them all I am . Busy work week ahead and I just know not one of our offspring is going to do anything to help around the bleedin house , lets face it they cant even empty a hoover or do a sink of washing up without twenty askings . Something just snapped this morning when I was sorting all the recycling out  that theyre all to lazy to do
So how do the rest of you manage to get a bunch of ungrateful 20 somethings to do anything ?

A Celtic Challenge

We've reached day three of the stay motivated 2015 challenge , its not going well ..lol. I should have gone to work today, instead ive mooched round doing a bit of domestic servitude and munchkin sitting and  enjoyed the peace of the youngest going back to his mother .
On the work front I have my suspicions, I seem to have an awful lot of work landing on the mat , not a bad thing because im broke , but a bad thing because i think my trainee may have run away already, probably got his first wage slip and realized they lie....they lie lots .
So in preparation for lots of time on the road im trying to find some little projects to keep in the car for when im bored and sat about waiting for appointments , im sure some of the folks I have to meet exist in a different space time vortex,  10.30am means 12.00 am to some of them on a good day and i just have to smile sweetly and except that .
Now I have tons of things half finished , but i crave something for a change from last years granny squares and crochet , so i figure back to embroidery and cross stitch .
Notice i'm not saying i will finish anything , but the light quality for stitching is always better outside in the car . So this is the first project into the bag

Resolutions...I Think Not

Oh dear its that day when i should make up my mind to be skinny , richer , nicer  etc etc etc . Stuff it my last resolution must have been twenty one years ago , just before i got pregnant with my youngest mmmmm that went well
I was going to lose 3 stone instead I gained 3, story of my life .
I could always post a review of my exciting last year ? Thrift shop of the year ? My best rated posts perhaps ?
Instead I will bring you a few of my recent  highlights , best xmas present given to the munchkin !!!
A belching farting Bulldog , oddly I love this gaudy thing despite being allergic to latex...lol

Man logic, when you cant find the rolling pin use a black pudding??

Must update ebay with loads of PVC Disney , honestly I will do this tomorrow , the nearest to a resolution i can manage

And finally never do your Approved Order without getting someone to check , yes I was caught ordering what I thought was beef and vegatable  pie filling....you guessed it , dog food and we dont even have a dog!!!

Baldrick & Blackadder

Today I've had Blackadder & Baldrick maintaining my vehicle, it's been walk away and stuff a hankie    In your mouth funny painful and cringeworthy .
Mr Bah Humbug is never going to have a career in teaching and his youngest is not an easy pupil. He's now on his third year and third course at the local college, I think his tutors can't handle more than a year of him, his catchphrase is . "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing"and he gets slung off each course , he's currently doing vehicle maintainence
They pulled both vehicles nose to nose , then started feeding and watering them, within ten minutes my son said I'd better get out there.
The air was blue , Mr bah Humbug was just nicely getting into full flow with his son in his face , he'd been trying to put my bonnet down by sitting on it and bouncing up and down. Now my car is a total shed , so I don't worry about it. This had degenerated into screaming and sullen teenager so I just put the kettle on and walked away, called Mr Bah Humbug in for a cuppa , and left a sullen teenager putting air in the tyres.
After Mr Bah Humbug had calmed down, he called his Baldrick in for a cuppa , he's yacking to his brother and says , I've an app on me phone tells me all the tyre pressures ......We just look at each other then shoot outside, yep you guessed it he'd clown tyred all of the vehicles and the air is blue once again...
I just keep thinking five more sleeps till he goes home and. I was given a bottle of Glenmorangie for xmas

Bye Bye Xmas

Breath a sigh of relief , it's over with , done and dusted. The last of the turkey curry will be finished tomorrow, the only lingering trace of Xmas the decent cheese in the fridge.
Decorations took down , most of the toys confiscated or destroyed.
Did it go well? Food wise yes , people wise?  Well you can't make them get along even when their family.
It was pointed out that why should they be pleasant to someone who had plastered all over Facebook that he hated us and was going to petrol bomb us a few months ago!!!  Happy family's
My mother sent her usual Xmas message of doom, along the lines of is he in Broadmoor yet, well at least it keeps her away.
Meanwhile from experience, I'm beginning to wonder if my stepsons genetic problems are masking schizophrenia , he's not particularly stable at times and the talking to himself and the random noises are getting worse. Maybe I notice more because it's been a few months since we last had him.
I have got through it yet again and it's nearly back to normal and thrifting and crafting time just another few days and most of them will depart, my life will be nearly my own again.  Can't wait

Xmas Bleedin Xmas 2

Oh Joy, was my remark as the alarm went of at 4am this morning . Mr Bah Humbug had got his xmas head on and wanted to go shopping!!! Managed to persuade him that we only needed to go to little Tesco , then went round a deserted store taking the stuff out of the trolley as he put it in , repeating over and over again ,we already have that , we already have that . £89 pounds of things he needs later , its MC Ds for a coffee and home for half past 6 , when its too dark to unpack the shopping . He then goes back to bed and leaves me in charge of the zoo , plus an excited munchkin who cant stop dancing about and singing his rather odd versions of xmas songs , think Mariah Carey meets Frozen !!! Plus hes now decided that a hula hoop is a great item to use in the kitchen ...lol
They have informed me that i must clear the floor completely in my little corner of the kitchen, a chore i have nearly completed by building the leaning tower of crap !! If they think that this is a challenge then  they better hope they dont want my vehicle till after xmas, because i plan to stuff it all in there ...he he he.

The urge to murder my better half is rising rapidly , its his baking day , think vast quantites of JusRoll pastry and a lot of bleedin mess..lol
The hoover has been awaiting fixing for 3 days !!! bleedin men
Plus hes snoring and im sneaking on here for a crafty hour .
 Meanwhile im sending frantic texts to my daughter for the stuff  ive forgot , non essential items like potatoes..doh
Things can only get better ...cant they
So a Merry Xmas to All of those who are fighting in the trenches of xmas , for a bunch of lazy idle ungrateful family

Lets All Run away

By now ive reached the stage where I want to just ram the turkey in the oven then run away !!!
Ive come to the conclusion im going mad , Mr Bah Humbug says its just hormonal, in a smug way . You know things are bad when hes even on the naughty list .
 Now we have his youngest for xmas, he was kidnapped from Walsall the other day after his mother begged us to have him , ive a feeling she may be moving house as we speak and leaving no forwarding address!!
Now he has his problems as long term readers will know , but he just presented an all time classic dilemma to his dad , one that even my ghastly brood never managed . He is apparently on an ASBO that forbids him from entering any ASDA or retail establishment . We cant leave him alone in the house on his own because he steals off the others and us given the chance , hes basically a 19 year old kleptomaniac . There was a blazing argument this morning because he wanted taking into Lincoln , I told him no chance as he has no money at all with him and if he went shoplifting i would not let anyone pick him up from the police station , so now im getting the surly death stares off them both , because this means his dad is effectively grounded, which he isnt happy about and im in the dog house for pointing out that he now knows how his mother feels .
Meanwhile ive spun a couple of little work tasks out to last me most of the day , visited a pleasantly busy little asda and iceland , been for a coffee with a christians etc ....

I really felt that nothing else can go wrong ......then i rang my mother

A Xmas Domestic Goddess

Come on admit it how many of you are supposed to be making your mince pies and mulling your wine , but are actually pretending having got out the mixing bowl and scattered a bit of flour around?
Your really hid in the house somewhere, on the puter reading blogs arent you ..lol
Well that makes two of us , the urge to stab bleedin Kirsty Allsop and her Xmas aspirations is upon me . severe bitter twisted old bird here .
 I have long realised that my family are a bunch of chavs , they wont care if the custard comes out of a packet or the mince pies cost 75p from Heron this morning for a big freezer bag full .
The only Xmas spirit theyre interested in comes from the Off Licence ,they will drink Lambrini and Carling till it comes out of their ears, even my aspirational daughter reverts to antifreeze coloured alco pops given the chance .
The munchkin will be unimpressed with everything he gets off Santa and will have broken or had confiscated most of his loot by dinner , he will be lucky to survive the day unless i start on the red wine when i get up to ram the turkey in the oven
The cat is even on my hate list , he will be under my feet all the time and you just know someone will feed it something stupid ..... remember if the cat gets to the turkey while its defrosting , damage can be hidden with strips of bacon and the cat can be stuffed up the turkey .
My mother ...lets not go there till tomorrow!!!!

Xmas bleedin xmas

Sometimes as a none participating xmas person, you can see the sheer crazy of it all . So heres a few points I feel I must draw to your attention .
Why does every pensioner , especially those in their 80s decide to take to the roads in the final days of the xmas feeding frenzy? A case in point was my dad , he was so little that it used to look as if a Trilby hat with no occupant was driving his Ford Fiesta , Nana Sylve at the side of him was even tinier , to make the experiance even more scary , he used to have an oxygen cylinder behind his seat just so he could stay conscious long enough to drive anywhere . Nana would park him in a pub and potter of to get her "fresh stuff" In his last year he decided to have an angina attack in the pub and we got a frantic phonecall from nana because he was fighting off the ambulance man , he had paid for his pudding and he was damn well eating it!! .
The point of this is.....please take your wrinklies shopping , despite there. " I can manage"discussion

this really does look like my dad 

Merry Xmas From the Unemployed

Dont get excited , five weeks unemployed tomorrow and Mr Bah Humbug has just received a whopping £100 payment of JSA , we would have been in a right mess if we hadnt been prepared . So today was his weekly sign on appointment , while I wait outside and wait for the sound of sirens , his toleration of fools and idiots being rather low at the moment, plus he had a particularly evil grin when he went inside .
He wasnt there for that long and the evil grin was even worse when he came out

I think ive just baffled them .
....Err Why
I told them im not doing any more jobsearch , so they threatened me with a sanction .
....OK
Told them I start work on the 5th January and they wernt very happy ..lol...
Theyre not happy because ive only been out of work 7 weeks in total and theyve funded my computer course.

Yes thats right he got told off for finding a job , he enjoyed his computer course last week , I think it was more to do with a week in a heated building , sheer luxury..lol

So Sue you must have read the tea leaves when you said New Year New Job, The job in question is a bit strange I gather , but its more money, less hours and somewhere warm and dry . He had to sign The Official Secrets Act to get it and hes on 12 weeks trial , so we will see how it goes , but he has an evil grin plastered all over his face

Lincoln job & soul removal center
picture stolen off the internet 

Supermarket Sweep

Sometimes even i get a nice surprise , after my recent horror visit to the morrisons cafe , I actually left a post on their Facebook page , to my amazement a very nice lady from Morrisons emailed me the next day and addressed my concerns  and today i received a £10 voucher . So thats the christmas meat bought, a nice bit of pork . What a difference in customer service between supermarkets . A Tesco complaint about blue plastic found in a veggie burger  , took a week to reply and they wanted me to take the complete product back to the store for a refund, as if you would keep a cooked food product for a week!!
Meanwhile in the real world ive spent a whole day doing every xmas competition I could find , i usually win something of no use whatsover , its a bit of a xmas ritual . Back to work and thrifting tomorrow !!!

Rock n Roll Xmas

Mr Bah Humbug took me out last night for a bit of wild living , off to Lincoln Brant Road Club to see The Hicksville Bombers and their support Shane . What he hadnt realised was that this was The Lincoln Rock n Roll Xmas Party , complete with buffet .

Mr Bah Humbug has been playing them to death in his van for months , bear in mind that when i met him he still had enough hair for a flat top , now hes just a grumpy balding guy...lol . Fat Elvis was there along with thin Elvis and dodgy Elvis . The dancing was amazing , the age range was spectacular from the Americana young ones, to those who have jived there way to hip replacements , there was many gorgeous dresses and it was a great night , they even had retro stalls at the back . Shane was great  , he has a band of his own that we will make the effort to go see .

Big surprise of the night was the lead singers daughter who performs in her own right as Sharna Mae